[Copypasta] What ever happened to innovative and original copy pastas?

twitchquotes: Wow guys, enabling bttv gif emotes was by far the worst decision of my life. Is spamming chat with these annoying gachiBASS emotes really the only thing that kids these days do? Am I just out of touch, or is this what chat has devolved to these days? What ever happened to innovative and original copy pastas?
twitch chat
January 2018
What happened to this ad? :(
More Copypastas

Graham Stephen is stingy

Graham Stephen the kind of guy that suck his own pp and cum in his own mouth to save tissue
December 2020

WallStreetBets

Crab

⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠋⠁⠀⠀⠀⠹⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠏⠀⠀⠀⠈⠙⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⡟⠀⠀⠀⠀⠠⠀⠀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠀⠀⠄⠀⠀⠀⠀⢻⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⡟⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢻⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣮⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣵⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣴⣿⣯⡛⠋⠁⢻⡟⠈⠙⢛⣽⣿⣦⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⡇⠀⠀⠀⢾⣿⠟⠋⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠙⠻⣿⡷⠀⠀⠀⢸⣿⣿ ⠛⠛⣷⡀⠀⠀⠈⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠁⠀⠀⢀⣾⠛⠛ ⡀⠀⠈⠻⣶⠄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠠⣶⠟⠁⠀⢀ ⣷⣄⣀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⣠⣾ ⠛⠛⠛⠶⠶⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠶⠶⠛⠛⠛ ⣆⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⠄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠠⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣰ ⣿⣿⡿⠶⠚⠉⠀⠀⢀⠂⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠐⡀⠀⠀⠉⠓⠶⢿⣿⣿ ⣿⠋⠀⠀⠀⠀⣠⡴⠋⠀⠀⣠⣶⣶⣶⣶⣶⣶⣄⠀⠀⠙⢦⣄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠙⣿ ⣿⣿⣷⣾⣿⣿⣿⡇⠀⠀⢀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡀⠀⠀⢸⣿⣿⣿⣷⣾⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⠀⠀⣸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣇⠀⠀⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
October 2019

This player is fantastic

twitchquotes: This [insert CSGO team or player here] is fantastic. Just needs to work on communication, aim, map awareness, crosshair placement, economy management, pistol aim, awp flicks, grenade spots, smoke spots, pop flashes, positioning, bomb plant positions, retake ability, bunny hopping, spray control and getting a kill.
twitch chat
July 2020

Classic

CSGO

Infinite poop

twitchquotes: Infinite poop. You sit on the toilet to poop, but the poop never stops coming out of your butt. You have to start flushing the toilet every two minutes to keep up. You try to pinch your butt closed but that makes your insides hurt. The poop accelerates. You call 911. The paramedics call for doctors. The doctors call for specialists. The story trends on Twitter. You turn down talk show appearances. Your septic tank fails. People form a cult. Your toilet is finished. Volunteers arrive with buckets and shovels. You are completely used to the smell. The poop accelerates. You are moved to a stepladder with a hole in the top step. The poop accelerates. The shovelers abandon the buckets and shovel directly out the window. The poop accelerates. A candlelight vigil forms around your house. One of the workers falls over and can't free himself. The poop accelerates. A priest knocks over the stepladder and tackles you out the window. You land in the pile. The poop accelerates. The force now propels you forward and upward. Vigil goers grab at your legs. The poop ignites from their candles. The Facebook live event hits 1 million viewers. The poop accelerates. You are 30 feet in the air. The fire engulfs the vigil and your house. 60 feet. The poop accelerates. The torrent underneath you is deafening. 5 million Facebook live viewers. You try to close up shop but your butthole disintegrated long ago. 120 feet up. Your house explodes. The poop accelerates. 1000 feet. You are now tracked on radar. You try to change your angle of ascent but you should have thought of that way earlier. The poop accelerates. 4,000 feet. NORAD upgrades to DEFCON 3. Concentric circles of fire engulf your city. The poop accelerates. You have broken the sound barrier. 30,000 feet. You no longer take in enough oxygen to sustain consciousness. 60,000 feet. CNN is reporting on all the world records you've broken. 200,000 feet. You are no longer alive. The poop accelerates. Your body disintegrates but your poop contrail remains. NASA can no longer track you. You break the light-speed barrier and we can no longer bear witness. The poop accelerates. Forever.
twitch chat
June 2019

Classic

Greggnog

First off: I am not joking. I wish I was joking. I've been with my wonderful boyfriend Greg for over 4 years now, and this Christmas was our third spent together. He's so much fun to be around, handsome, charming, and our sex life is great. Except for one small problem. Every year now starting in December he starts referring to his cum as "Greggnog." When I first heard him say this, it was in the context of a joke, so I laughed, and then I forgot about it. A few days after this, we're exchanging some spicy texts before he gets home from work he says to me, in all seriousness, "I can't wait to pour Greggnog all over your face." I could not believe he just said that to me, but I didn't know what else to do at the time but go along with it. Fast forward to this December. This phrase re-enters his vocabulary at the same time every year. It makes me cringe beyond belief, but until this year he used it sparingly enough for me to just be able to laugh and say "shut the fuck up." I'm sure that 2020 has done at least some irreparable psychic damage to all people, but unfortunately, for my boyfriend, this has manifested in the form of him referring to his cum as "Greggnog" non-stop. This month he has been using the term almost exclusively, in all contexts, and it is driving me batshit insane. I sat him down to talk last week, and I asked him very clearly and directly to stop. At the time, he said he would, and it did slow down for a few days, but it is now four days after Christmas and he's back at it again with no end in sight. He absolutely means the world to me, and I saw myself spending the rest of my life with him, but I have serious doubts now whether or not I can if every Christmas is going to be like this. So please, reddit, what do I do to make this stop for good?
December 2020

Classic

Text-to-Speech Playing