[Copypasta] As Jeff Kaplan stares at me through my computer screen

twitchquotes: As Jeff Kaplan stares at me through my computer screen, I begin to contemplate reality. What truly has substance in this realm of technology, avarice and sin? What is our future, if not a blank, hollow nothing, rife with silence and strife? PogChamp
twitch chat
January 2018

Overwatch

What happened to this ad? :(
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What happened to Overwatch's DPS heroes?

twitchquotes: Hey guys, I'm new to overwatch. Is there a reason that they aren't using any damage heroes? How are they supposed to get kills without dps? Are they deleted or banned or something?
twitch chat
February 2019
OverwatchLeague

Overwatch

I sexually Identify as a Bastion

twitchquotes: I sexually Identify as a Bastion. Ever since I was a transistor I dreamed of being nanoboosted and firing cannonballs on the disgusting enemy team. People tell me that being a Siege Automaton is impossible but I don't care, I'm overpowered. I’m having a plastic surgeon install treads, a gattling gun and a nanoboost on my body. From now on I want you guys to call me BOOSTED and respect my right to take 35% less damage 100% of the time. If not, you're an omnic-phobe and need to check your human privileges
twitch chat
March 2017

Overwatch

I sexually Identify as

God I want Zarya to be real

twitchquotes: God I want Zarya to be real, I want her large feet to smash my head. I want her muscular thighs to squash my head. It brings me to a near orgasmic feeling by just thinking about her and her muscular toned body. If Activision Blizzard made sexdolls, I would buy every Zarya model for myself and never leave my mom's basement. Fuck I just want Zarya to be real
twitch chat
June 2017

Overwatch

i am currently trapped in 800 SR bronze

twitchquotes: moon i am currently trapped in 800 SR bronze my mains are Torbjorn and Bastion (I'm a huge defensive player, you know, a good defense is a gooder offense) but my team refuses to play around me and sometime even report me. Why elo hell is real??? How do you overcome adversity and become top 500? Thanks you for your time :)
twitch chat
July 2017
MOONMOON

Overwatch

I sexually Identify as a Genji

twitchquotes: I sexually Identify as a Genji. Ever since I was a boy I dreamed of dashing through the battlefield swift striking the disgusting enemy team. People say being Genji is Impossible but I don’t care, I can solo carry. I’m having a plastic surgeon install cyborg parts,a shuriken dispenser and a dragonblade on my body. From now on I want you guys to call me "Genji Shimada Senpai" and respect my right to ignore objectives and play team deathmatch. Ryūjin no ken wo kurae!
twitch chat
January 2017

Overwatch

I sexually Identify as

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