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twitchquotes: Tπ•™π•šπ•€ π•šπ•€ 𝕒 π•€π•‘π•–π•”π•šπ•’π• 𝕑𝕣𝕠π•₯𝕖𝕔π•₯𝕖𝕕 π•—π• π•Ÿπ•₯. 𝕐𝕠𝕦 π•”π•’π•Ÿπ•Ÿπ• π•₯ 𝕔𝕠𝕑π•ͺ π•šπ•₯. 𝔾𝕠 𝕒𝕙𝕖𝕒𝕕, π•₯𝕣π•ͺ.
twitch chat
December 2017
I used to be a real ad
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Awooga Awooga

twitchquotes: *jaw drops to floor, eyes pop out of sockets accompanied by trumpets, heart beats out of chest, awooga awooga sound effect, pulls chain on train whistle that has appeared next to head as steam blows out, slams fists on table, rattling any plates, bowls or silverware, whistles loudly, fireworks shoot from top of head, pants loudly as tongue hangs out of mouth, wipes comically large bead of sweat from forehead, clears throat, straightens tie, combs hair* Ahem, you look very lovely.
twitch chat
February 2020

Biden's America

The year is 2021. You look at the television. SIlver fox President Biden announces a vaccine mandate for employees. You clutch your limited edition Trump Funko Pop. It has begun. You gather up all your belongings, and jump into your truck, hitting the highway for the airport. Out of your rearview mirror you can make out a sleek black Prius pursuing you. You make out the numbers β€œ1” β€œ9” β€œ8” and 4” on their license plate. You are able to lose the Prius and arrive at the airport. You are almost free. At airport security You see a young man being dragged away screaming. The guards yell something about him having more than 3.4 oz of liquid. Thankfully you only have an AR 15 on you. The guard inspects it. β€œIt’s for hunting,” you say. They hand it back to you and wave for you to move along. You breathe a sigh of relief. β€œOne more thing.” You turn to see a Guard staring down at you with their beady soulless eyes. β€œI need to see your vaccination card” It is too late. You try to run away, but you feel someone press a cloth against your face. Reality fades away. You wake up in some kind of lab, chained down to an operation table and gagged. The room is undecorated except for a single poster of Harry Styles in a dress on the wall. A single figure stands in the corner shrouded in shadow, fiddling with a syringe. As they step out of the shadow, you can make out their face, the roguishly handsome Gavin Newsom. He positions a large surgical headlight above you and turns it on. He holds up the large syringe to the light and chuckles, staring into your pleading eyes. β€œDon't worry, it will all be over soon” He removes his mask to reveal his serpent's tongue, flickering in amusement. He plunges the syringe straight through your β€œsocialism is for figs” shirt into your arm. β€œNighty night” Your world fades to black once more.
October 2021

Joe Biden

Politics

Dear women who post nudes on reddit.

Stop with the fucking " I bet you'll never guess what's under my dress.." It's tits. It's always fucking tits. This is no mystery to anyone, and human anatomy has been the same for over 100k years. Seriously, shut the fuck up. You all do this. Do you really think your tits and asshole are so special that they're going to shift our collective consciousness or something? "I bet the guys at the gym wonder what's under my yoga pants." I bet they already know, and if they fucking don't, maybe you shouldn't be at a kid gym for 4 year olds.
July 2021

THROW THIS CRAB 2 MAKE HBOX MAD

twitchquotes: πŸ¦€ THROW πŸ¦€ THIS πŸ¦€ CRAB πŸ¦€ 2 πŸ¦€ MAKE πŸ¦€ HBOX πŸ¦€ MAD
twitch chat
June 2019

Rhyme Chant

Super Smash Bros

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