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twitchquotes: Tπ•™π•šπ•€ π•šπ•€ 𝕒 π•€π•‘π•–π•”π•šπ•’π• 𝕑𝕣𝕠π•₯𝕖𝕔π•₯𝕖𝕕 π•—π• π•Ÿπ•₯. 𝕐𝕠𝕦 π•”π•’π•Ÿπ•Ÿπ• π•₯ 𝕔𝕠𝕑π•ͺ π•šπ•₯. 𝔾𝕠 𝕒𝕙𝕖𝕒𝕕, π•₯𝕣π•ͺ.
twitch chat
December 2017
I used to be a real ad
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Fuck minecraft

twitchquotes: Fuck minecraft. I've had it with this dumb, misleading game. Do you know how much time I've spent digging through my backyard, only to find worms and dog shit? And what the fuck is with those fucked up graphics? NEWS FLASH, the real world is not comprised of blocks but actually of hundreds of atoms, stupid Notch. In fortnite (battle royale game) trees fall down when you cut them, but it stupid minecraft they float in the sky,wtf (what the fuck), where's the immersion?
twitch chat
January 2019

How to kill a geologist

Disclaimer: my hatred of geologists is purely theatrical, but if I did have to kill one for some reason, it would be very easy. I’d brandish my obsidian knife at them and they’d be compelled to approach. β€œThat’s very cool,” they’d say, confident in their superior strength and endurance from all the rocks they carry around at all times. They’d shower me with very interesting facts about obsidian and hover just out of range of the cutting edge, waiting for me to exhaust myself. β€œBut as it is volcanic glass, it’s very fragile, you see, and isn’t well-suited for use as a weap—” and then I’d hit them with the wooden baseball bat in my other hand, which they would not have noticed because geologists can only see rocks and minerals.
January 2022

im such a nice guy, i deserve a girlfriend

twitchquotes: im such a nice guy, i deserve a girlfriend, yesterday i always commented how nice poki looked instead of making weird sexual comments like the weridos there
twitch chat
October 2020

Simps

Kripp reluctantly crawls into bed

twitchquotes: Kripp reluctantly crawls into bed where a breathless Hafu is waiting. She takes hold of his hand and whispers, "It's ok, I broke up with Jake." He squeezes her hand, let's go, squeezes again, "You're the best female arena player...," Kripp says dejectedly, "But I made a vow to Rania to never love another woman." Hafu runs her hands lovingly down his cheek, "You're not cheating," she whispers, "I'm really Amaz."
twitch chat
September 2017
Kripp

Hearthstone

It has been 4 hours since I successfully sucked...

It has been 4 hours since I successfully sucked my own penis. Things are different now. As soon as mouth-to-penis contact was made I felt a shockwave through my body. I have reason to believe I have super strength and telekinesis now.. 3 hours after contact I noticed a van parked on my street but no one has entered or exited the car since its arrival. I fear for my safety, I'm not sure what sort of power I may have stumbled upon but it's possible that the government has found out
March 2017

Classic

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