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twitchquotes: Tπ•™π•šπ•€ π•šπ•€ 𝕒 π•€π•‘π•–π•”π•šπ•’π• 𝕑𝕣𝕠π•₯𝕖𝕔π•₯𝕖𝕕 π•—π• π•Ÿπ•₯. 𝕐𝕠𝕦 π•”π•’π•Ÿπ•Ÿπ• π•₯ 𝕔𝕠𝕑π•ͺ π•šπ•₯. 𝔾𝕠 𝕒𝕙𝕖𝕒𝕕, π•₯𝕣π•ͺ.
twitch chat
December 2017
(β–€ΜΏΔΉΜ―β”œβ”¬β”΄β”¬β”΄ Psst... kid, you wanna disable adblock?
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If PLTR hits 35 today

If PLTR hits 35 today I will wipe with quarter ply toilet paper and accidentally discover myself
December 2020

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Elder Scrolls developer messages Kripp

twitchquotes: (The Elder Scrolls: Legendsβ„’ Developer): Hey Kripp! Just popping on to make sure you started streaming our game on time. Remember to wear your TES:L shirt and don't forget our little 'arrangement' later tonight at the motel. ;)
twitch chat
March 2017
Kripp

sellout

BOB β€œYou’re doing GREAT out there!”

twitchquotes: BOB β€œYou’re doing GREAT out there!” I exclaim with as much enthusiasm as I can this late in the day. The scraggly vegan is the only one left in the tavern, his attention focused entirely on the card game we put out to entertain children and toddlers. β€œI don’t wanna talk about it guys” cries the man, knocking his cup of vegan water over. I try to reassure him that everyone has bad luck now and then, but he just ignores me, as always. This tavern attracts some strange types indeed.
twitch chat
September 2020
Kripp

Hearthstone

You toss and turn as Elon gently rubs your shoulders

You toss and turn as Elon gently rubs your shoulders. "You seem a little tense" says Elon, as you look at your bank account. Your phone shows $107 left to your name. You think to yourself while Elon rubs you down, you pull open Robin Hood, type in TSLA. Leaps $900 JAN 2023' are only $1 you can afford 1 leap. This is finally your chance to get rich, you'll be able to actually buy a Tesla. You ask Elon what the next Tesla will be. He says "U, for 'you'" as he smiles sweetly. You picture him dancing on stage explaining U S3XY to everyone multiple times as you smile back at him. All of a sudden Elon flips on the TV to CNBC to catch the tail end of Jim Cramer, you see a new law has been passed, "we believe options have inflated the markets into a bubble, we will be imposing a new rule next week only allowing accounts that qualify for day trades to also purchase options with a $25,000 barrier to entry." You start weeping aloud, you feel a caring hand wipe your tear away, it's Elon again, "what's wrong my little X'βˆšΟ€3?" Suddenly you wake, you're in a pool of sweat, at first you panic about the new options policy, then you're filled with relief realizing that options aren't restricted it was all a dream. You realize this was actually a vision to earn 200,000% gains to buy a TSLA leap. You log into RH, it welcomes you with your $107 balance, you plug in TSLA yolo 2023 @ $900 and realize the options are actually $20 each. The best you can do is $900 TSLA weekly expiring around Christmas. In a slight fit of despair you try to remember the feeling of Elon rubbing your cheek, and rub one out onto your stomach, then roll over back to sleep. A single tear rolls from your eye into your waifu pillow. YOLO you whisper.
December 2020

WallStreetBets

ACHOO! Sorry, did I spray you?

ACHOO! Sorry, did I spray you? πŸ’¦πŸ˜‰ 🧻Corona🀧 is CUMMINGπŸ’¦ for us and you’ve just tested 😱positive🦠 for being πŸ’‹NAUGHTYπŸ˜‰ πŸ™…β€β™€οΈSocial distancing is in effect🚫 and I want to spend my πŸ€·β€β™‚οΈquarenTEENπŸ”ž with YOU 😍 So grab your 🧴isopropyl-lubricant πŸ’¦ and CUMπŸ‘… over so I can administerπŸ‘©β€βš•οΈ your treatmentπŸ˜‰ and injectπŸ’‰ you with the vaccineπŸ† We’ll spend the πŸ—lockdownπŸ”’ flattening the curveπŸ“‰ and FATTENING DEM’ πŸ‘πŸΏ CURVES πŸ‘ Get ready for 14 days of πŸ’―THICC DICC DIAGNOSTICS😭 and sitting on my facemask😷 Send this βœ‰οΈ to covid-19 of your sloppiest πŸ’¦πŸ’¦SYMPTOMATICπŸ€’ SLUTS🀫 If you get 5 back, you’re a Wuhan batπŸ¦‡ bitch πŸ‘Ž If you get 10 back, you’re a πŸ˜‰hornyπŸ’„healthyπŸ’ͺhoe😘 If you get all 19 backπŸ‘ your assπŸ‘ is the ANTIDOTEπŸ’Š and it’s in high demand πŸ‘¬πŸΏ
March 2020

Emoji Pasta

Coronavirus

COVID

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