[Copypasta] Just me and EA hanging out

twitchquotes: Just me and πŸ’°πŸ’•EAπŸ’•πŸ’°, hanging out I wanted some Star Wars🌟 so I started to pout 😞 He asked if I was down ⬇for something yummy πŸ˜πŸ† and I asked what and he said he'd give me his πŸ’°πŸ’¦looties!πŸ’¦πŸ’° Yeah! Yeah!πŸ’•πŸ’¦ I earn them!πŸ’¦ I buy them!πŸ’¦ I purchase them wholeπŸ’¦πŸ’° 😍 It makes πŸ’°πŸ’˜EAπŸ’˜πŸ’° 😊happy😊 so it's my only goal... πŸ’•πŸ’¦πŸ˜«Harder EA! Harder EA! πŸ˜«πŸ’¦πŸ’• 1 lootieπŸ’¦, 2 lootieπŸ’¦πŸ’¦, 3 lootieπŸ’¦πŸ’¦πŸ’¦, 4πŸ’¦πŸ’¦πŸ’¦πŸ’¦ I'm πŸ’°πŸ’˜EA'sπŸ’˜πŸ’° πŸ‘‘Disney princess πŸ‘‘but I'm also a consumer whore! πŸ’Ÿ He makes me OPπŸ’—!He makes me feel goodπŸ’œ! πŸ’˜πŸ’˜πŸ’˜He makes me feel everything a whale should!~ πŸ’˜πŸ’˜πŸ’˜ πŸ‘‘πŸ’¦πŸ’˜Wa-What!πŸ’˜πŸ’¦πŸ‘‘ο»Ώ
twitch chat
November 2017
I used to be a real ad
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This is your father Vyascheslav from Moskva

twitchquotes: Hello Kripparian, this is your father Vyascheslav from Moskva. I have started working overtime at the power plant, and your sister Tatyana has gone to Berlin to sell her body to Kraut swine for money. We do all this to pay for your "Stoned Heart of the Cards" game. Please win tournament and send us rubles soon, so our family can be together again.
twitch chat
May 2016
Kripp

Hearthstone

I dropped my notes

twitchquotes: β™ͺ β™« β™ͺ β™« β™ͺ β™« β™ͺ β™« β™ͺ β™« β™ͺ β™« β™ͺ β™« β™ͺ β™« β™ͺ β™« β™ͺ β™« β™ͺ β™« β™ͺ β™« OOOPS I dropped my notes β™ͺ β™« β™ͺ β™« β™ͺ β™« β™ͺ β™«β™ͺ β™« β™ͺ β™« β™ͺ β™« β™ͺ β™« β™ͺ β™« β™ͺ β™« β™ͺ β™« β™ͺ β™«
twitch chat
October 2014
Kripp

The year is 2037. Ligma is now the name of a real disease

The year is 2037. Ligma is now the name of a real disease. You're a doctor you just got the test results of the patient it's just as you feared it's fatal, your patient has ligma you're crying but you can't stop laughing you know you have to tell your patient that he has ligma but you can't keep a straight face you have to go out therr and tell your patient that he has only three days left to live and that there's no cure no hope not even enough time for him to finish his bucket list or find love or get the life he's always wanted he started making progress, he was doing well, his future had high hopes but he has a fatal case of ligma and you can't keep a straight face you walk out to your patient, "s-sir," you say through snickers "yes doctor? what are my test results?" your patient replies "I-I'm very sorry to say but," you respond as your sentence gets interrupted by a loud snort. "it's f-f-atal." you can't hold your laughs and you let out a bit of laughter "Is this some kind of joke? are you some sadistic creep? why the fuck are you laughing" the patient shouts out you "you h-have a fatal case of l-l-ligma," you can't hold it in anymore, you burst out laughing, you're rolling on the floor, tears in your eyes, you pee yourself a little "what the fuck is wrong with you? you're horrible! fuck you! go to hell!" your patient replies, with a face of horror, disgust, anger and sadness. he starts to cry. he's shaking you scream at the top of your lungs, "LIGMA BALLS! LIGMA BALLS! AHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! LIGMA BALLS!" you can't stop laughing and shouting, over and over again you repeat "LIGMA BALLS! LIGMA BALLS! LIGMA BALLS!" your patient flees, he runs as fast as he can soon the police come, they handcuff you and put you in the back of a police car. you don't know what's going to happen to you now, but you know it won't be good
August 2021

And you’ve been, GNOMED

twitchquotes: Ho ho ho ha ha πŸ˜‚πŸ€£πŸ˜‚, ho ho ho he ha🀣🀣. Hello thereπŸ˜ƒπŸ‘‹, old chumπŸ‘΄πŸ‘΅. I’m πŸ™…β€β™€οΈ g'not πŸ™…β€β™€οΈa g'nelfπŸ§πŸ‘Ž. I’m πŸ™…β€β™€οΈg'notπŸ™…β€β™€οΈ a g'noblinπŸ‘ΊπŸ‘ŽπŸ‘Ί. I’m a g'nomeπŸŽ…πŸ˜!! And you’ve been, GNOOOMEDπŸŽ…πŸ€£πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ€£πŸ€£!!!
twitch chat
September 2018

Emoji Pasta

Kripp throws his paintbrush across the room

twitchquotes: Kripp throws his paintbrush across the room. "The canvas needed to topdeck exactly that color to win!" he yells. Dex brings Kripp his paintbrush and Kripp tries again. He tries to paint a happy tree but paints a sad cactus. "The canvas is obviously sniping. How else could it know I was painting a happy tree?" Dex barks. "Quiet, Dex!" screams Kripp as he paints the bottom right of the canvas and concedes.
twitch chat
November 2018
Kripp
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