[Copypasta] Just me and EA hanging out

twitchquotes: Just me and πŸ’°πŸ’•EAπŸ’•πŸ’°, hanging out I wanted some Star Wars🌟 so I started to pout 😞 He asked if I was down ⬇for something yummy πŸ˜πŸ† and I asked what and he said he'd give me his πŸ’°πŸ’¦looties!πŸ’¦πŸ’° Yeah! Yeah!πŸ’•πŸ’¦ I earn them!πŸ’¦ I buy them!πŸ’¦ I purchase them wholeπŸ’¦πŸ’° 😍 It makes πŸ’°πŸ’˜EAπŸ’˜πŸ’° 😊happy😊 so it's my only goal... πŸ’•πŸ’¦πŸ˜«Harder EA! Harder EA! πŸ˜«πŸ’¦πŸ’• 1 lootieπŸ’¦, 2 lootieπŸ’¦πŸ’¦, 3 lootieπŸ’¦πŸ’¦πŸ’¦, 4πŸ’¦πŸ’¦πŸ’¦πŸ’¦ I'm πŸ’°πŸ’˜EA'sπŸ’˜πŸ’° πŸ‘‘Disney princess πŸ‘‘but I'm also a consumer whore! πŸ’Ÿ He makes me OPπŸ’—!He makes me feel goodπŸ’œ! πŸ’˜πŸ’˜πŸ’˜He makes me feel everything a whale should!~ πŸ’˜πŸ’˜πŸ’˜ πŸ‘‘πŸ’¦πŸ’˜Wa-What!πŸ’˜πŸ’¦πŸ‘‘ο»Ώ
twitch chat
November 2017
I used to be a real ad
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Please don't copy paste or I might get fired

twitchquotes: Hey guys, Im a blizzard employee and I wanted to give all you fellow kripparians a sneak peak at one of our new GvG cards. It's called the coin- 0 mana and if you play it turn 1 as the first player, it randomly selects a player and they automatically win. Hope you are all excited for the new expansion, please don't copy paste or I might get fired.
twitch chat
November 2014
TidesOfTime

Fired for masturbating on a Zoom call

So this just happened an hour ago and I am still shaking. I’m a staff in public accounting and was in the middle of a 3-hour training on Zoom. Usually when we have these types of calls I just keep the video running in the background and I walk around the room doing things to pass the time and distract myself from the monotone presenters. Well today I forgot that I left the camera on (I usually always have it off but earlier today I had a call with the partner to discuss my upcoming promotion, so I had to have it on). I had no clue I had left the camera on and in the middle of walking around and muttering to myself as I was zoning out, I flipped it out and started to rub one out. I did so with complete confidence, openly and ferociously, stroking faster and faster until I heard the presenter stop and kindly asked me to turn my camera off. Mortified, I lifted my pants up and rushed over to turn the camera off. Soon after the training was over I had a call with HR and they let me know that I was being terminated. I hated the job anyway so not so bummed about that, but I’m not sure what to say in interviews now if I’m asked why I left this job. Any advice?
June 2021

Kripp lays in bed with Rania

twitchquotes: Kripp lays in bed with Rania and she begins to touch him. 2 secs after a Holy Smite hits Ranias face. She screams loudly "what is this, i didn't marry no Dennis". Right as she turns the lights on, she sees Trump moonwalking out of the bedroom mumbling, "you always go face" SMOrc
twitch chat
May 2015
Kripp

We can't blame market

To be fair "but I poop from there" wasn't an explicit "no". We can't blame market for doing what it did.
March 2021

WallStreetBets

Response to the Vaporeon copypasta (Vaporeons are dangerous)

Hey guys did you know that in terms of water Pokemon inland, Vaporeon would be very capable of hunting grown humans? Their bodies being the size of a medium dog and weight are just enough to pounce on a man and throw him to the ground. Their bulky stats would allow them to shrug off and outlast any attempts by the human to fight them off, and that's not getting even into moves like Hydro Pump and Scald. But that's not all these water dogs have up their sleeves. Their bodies being so similar to water not only lets them hide in bodies of water and become nearly invisible to catch prey off guard, but allows them to enter the body through almost any orifice. Things do not get any better once a Vaporeon is inside of you. If asphyxiation doesn't kill you, the internal bleeding and displacement of internal organs certainly will. In addition, they are able to learn Charm, allowing them to take advantage of certain... desires humans may have and create even more opportunities to go in for the kill. But wait, there's more. Since Vaporeon is an omnivore, its cells would need to be able to digest proteins, such as those in meat. This only opens even more possibilities as to what these creatures are capable of.
March 2022

Pokemon

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