[Copypasta] Albert Einstein watches Rick and Morty

twitchquotes: My teacher said to my I'm a failure, that I'll never amount to anything. I scoffed at him. Shocked, my teacher asked what's so funny, my future is on the line. "Well...you see professor" I say as the teacher prepares to laugh at my answer, rebuttal at hand. "I watch Rick and Morty." The class is shocked, they merely watch pleb shows like the big bang theory to feign intelligence, not grasping the humor. "...how? I can't even understand it's sheer nuance and subtlety." "Well you see...WUBBA LUBBA DUB DUB!" One line student laughs in the back, I turn to see a who this fellow genius is. It's none other than Albert Einstein.
twitch chat
September 2017

Classic

Rick and Morty

(▀ĖŋÄšĖ¯â”œâ”Ŧ┴â”Ŧ┴ Psst... kid, you wanna disable adblock?
More Classic Copypastas

pepeJAM

⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄âŖ âŖ´âŖļâŖŋâŖŋâĄŋâ ļ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠐⠒⠒⠲â ļâĸ„â „â „â „â „â „â „ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄âŖ âŖžâĄŋ⠟⠋⠁⠄âĸ€âŖ€âĄ€â ¤âŖĻâĸ°âŖ¤âŖļâĸļâŖ¤âŖ¤âŖˆâŖ†â „â „â „â „â „ ⠄⠄⠄⠄âĸ°â Ÿâ â „âĸ€âŖ¤âŖļâŖŋâĄŋâ ŋâŖŋâŖŋâŖŠâĄ˜â ˛âŖļâŖˇâŖļâ ļâ ļâ ļâ Ļ⠤⡀⠄⠄ ⠄⠔⠊⠁⠁⠄⠄âĸžâĄŋâŖŸâĄ¯âŖ–â ¯â Ŋâ ŋ⠛⠛⠭â Ŋ⠊âŖ˛âŖŦâ Ŋ⠟⠛⠛⠭âĸĩâŖ‚â „ ⡎⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄âĸ™âĄˇâ ‹âŖ´âĄ†â „⠐⠂âĸ¸âŖŋâŖŋâĄļâĸąâŖļ⡇⠄⠐⠂âĸšâŖˇâŖļ⠆ ⡇⠄⠄⠄⠄âŖ€âŖ€âĄ€â „âŖŋ⡓⠮âŖ…âŖ€âŖ€âŖâŖˆâŖ­â ¤âĸ–âŖŽâŖ­âŖĨâŖ€âŖ¤âŖ¤âŖ­âĄĩ⠂⠄ âŖ¤âĄ€âĸ âŖžâŖŋâŖŋâŖŋâŖŋâŖˇâĸģâŖŋâŖŋâŖļâŖļâĄļâĸ–âŖĸâŖ´âŖŋâŖŋâŖŸâŖ›â ŋâ ŋ⠟âŖ›â ‰â „â „â „ âŖŋ⡗âŖŧâŖŋâŖŋâŖŋâŖŋâĄŋâĸ‹âĄ˜â ŋâŖŋâŖŋâŖˇâŖžâŖŋâŖŋâŖŋâŖŋâŖŋâŖŋâŖŋâŖŋâŖŋâŖŋâŖŋâŖˇâĄ€â „â „ âŖŋâ ąâĸŋâŖŋâŖŋâ ŋâĸ›â °âŖžâĄ›â ˇâŖŦâŖ™âĄ›â ģâ ŋâ ŋâ ŋâŖŋâŖŋâŖŋâŖŋâŖŋâŖŋâŖŋâ ŋ⠛âŖ“⥀⠄ âĸĄâŖžâŖˇâĸ âŖļâŖŋâŖŋâŖˇâŖŒâĄ›â ˇâŖĻâŖâŖ›â ģâ ŋâĸŋâŖļâŖļâŖļâŖĻâŖ¤âŖ´âŖļâĄļâ žâ ŋ⠟⠁⠄ âŖŋ⡟âŖĄâŖŋâŖŋâŖŋâŖŋâŖŋâŖŋâŖŋâŖˇâŖĻâŖ­âŖ™âĄ›â “â ’â ļâ ļâ ļâ ļâ ļâ ļâ ļâ ļâ ŋ⠟⠄⠄⠄ â ŋ⥐âĸŦâŖ›âĄģâ ŋâĸŋâŖŋâŖŋâŖŋâŖŋâŖŋâŖŋâŖŋâŖŋâŖŋâŖŋâŖŋâŖŋâŖŋâŖˇâĄļ⠟⠃⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ âŖžâŖŋâŖˇâŖļâŖ­âŖâŖ’âŖ’â ļâ Ŧâ ­â ­â ­â ­â ­â ­â ­âŖâŖ’âŖ¤âŖ„⥀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ âŖŋâŖŋâŖŋâŖŋâŖŋâŖŋâŖŋâŖŋâŖŋâŖŋâŖŋâŖŋâŖŋâŖŋâŖŋâŖŋâŖŋâŖŋâŖŋâŖŋâŖŋâŖŋâŖĻ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄
ascii art
April 2020

Classic

Pepe

Oh my gourd, I am financially ruined (agricultural futures)

I have lost everything, and I'm not sure how to continue. This summer I invested $17,500 (six months salary and my entire life savings) into ornamental gourd futures, hoping to capitalize on this lucrative emerging industry. After watching a video about Vincent Kosuga and his monopoly on onions, I decided I'd try to do something similar with another vegetable. I did some research and found out many agricultural forecasters expected this year's gourd yield would be far smaller than the past, due to deteriorating soil conditions in central Mexico and a warmer-than-average spring. At first, demand soared around Halloween and prices skyrocketed, but the gourd bubble burst on November 12th. Unfortunately, the coronavirus caused a massive drop-off in demand due to fewer families decorating their tables for thanksgiving, and prices plummeted. I had invested early enough that I thought I would still be fine, but then on the morning of December 2nd, a new email in my inbox caused my stomach to turn into a pretzel. The massive gourd shipment from Argentina, scheduled for early March, had arrived. I was planning on selling off my futures right before this, in February, but this ruined everything. To top it off, the gourds in this shipment were absolutely gargantuan, some topping 4 pounds each, causing the price-per-pound to drop like an anchor into the range of 6 cents per pound. I am ruined.
January 2021

Classic

WallStreetBets

GabeN says James is an ass

twitchquotes: James. We've had issues with James at previous events. Some Valve people lobbied to bring him back for Shanghai, feeling that he deserved another chance. That was a mistake. James is an ass, and we won't be working with him again.
twitch chat
June 2019

Classic

Dota 2

Mods can't ban me at this pace

twitchquotes: đŸĸ SLOW AND STEADY đŸĸ WINS THE RACE đŸĸ MODS CAN'T BAN ME đŸĸ AT THIS PACE đŸĸ
twitch chat
April 2017

MODS

Classic

You've been gnomed

████████▓▓████████▓▓█████████████ ██████▓▓█████████████▓███████████ █████▓███████████████▓███████████ ████▓█████████████████▒██████████ ████▓▓▓▒░░▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒██████████ ████▒▒░▒▒░▒▒▗▒▒▒▒▒▒▗▒▒▒██████████ ████▒▒▒░▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒██████████ ████░▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒█████████ █████▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▃▒░░░▒▃▒▒███████████ ██████▓▒▒▒▒▒▃▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▃░▒▒█████████ ███████▒▒▒▒░▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒░██████████ █████████▒░░░░░░░░░░░░░██████████ ██████████░▒░░░░░░░░░░██▓▒▒▒▒▒▓▒▓ ▓▓█████████████▒░░░▒████▒▒▒▒▒▓▓▒▓ ▒▒▒▒▒▒▓███████████████████▒░░▒▒▒█ ▒▒▒▒▒▓▓▒▒█████████████▒████░▒████ █▒▒▒▓▓▒▒▒████████████▒███████████ ███▓▒▓▓▒█████████████████████████ ░░█▀▀░░█▄░█░█▀▀█░█▄░▄█░█▀▀░█▀▄ ░░█░▀█░█░▀█░█░░█░█░▀░█░█▀▀░█░█ ░░▀▀▀░░▀░░▀░▀▀▀▀░▀░░░▀░▀▀▀░▀▀░
ascii art
October 2018

Classic

More Classic Copypastas
Text-to-Speech Playing