[Copypasta] Albert Einstein watches Rick and Morty

twitchquotes: My teacher said to my I'm a failure, that I'll never amount to anything. I scoffed at him. Shocked, my teacher asked what's so funny, my future is on the line. "Well...you see professor" I say as the teacher prepares to laugh at my answer, rebuttal at hand. "I watch Rick and Morty." The class is shocked, they merely watch pleb shows like the big bang theory to feign intelligence, not grasping the humor. "...how? I can't even understand it's sheer nuance and subtlety." "Well you see...WUBBA LUBBA DUB DUB!" One line student laughs in the back, I turn to see a who this fellow genius is. It's none other than Albert Einstein.
twitch chat
September 2017

Classic

Rick and Morty

What happened to this ad? :(
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Unsettled Tom

⣿⣷⡶⠚⠉⢀⣤⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠋⠠⣴⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣤⣤⣤ ⠿⠥⢶⡏⣸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠋⢀⣴⣷⣌⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣍⡛⢷⣠⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣟⠻⣯⠽⣿⣿⠟⠁⣠⠿⠿⣿⣿⣎⠻⣿⣿⣿⡿⠟⣿ ⣿⣿⣦⠙⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣏⡧⠙⠁⣀⢾⣧    ⠈⣿⡟  ⠙⣫⣵⣶⠇⣋ ⣿⣿⣿⢀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⠃⢀⣀⢻⣎⢻⣷⣤⣴⠟  ⣠⣾⣿⢟⣵⡆⢿ ⣿⣯⣄⢘⢻⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⠁⢀⣤⡙⢿⣴⣿⣷⡉⠉⢀  ⣴⣿⡿⣡⣿⣿⡿⢆ ⠿⣿⣧⣤⡘⢿⣿⣿⠏  ⡔⠉⠉⢻⣦⠻⣿⣿⣶⣾⡟⣼⣿⣿⣱⣿⡿⢫⣾⣿ ⣷⣮⣝⣛⣃⡉⣿⡏  ⣾⣧⡀    ⣿⡇⢘⣿⠋    ⠻⣿⣿⣿⢟⣵⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣌⢧⣴⣘⢿⣿⣶⣾⡿⠁⢠⠿⠁⠜    ⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣦⡙⣿⣷⣉⡛⠋    ⣰⣾⣦⣤⣤⣤⣿⢿⠟⢋⣴⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣌⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢰⡿⣻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢃⣰⣫⣾⣿⣿⣿ ⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡆⠿⠿⠿⠛⢰⣾⡿⢟⣭⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
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February 2021

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Every 60 seconds, a minute passes in Africa

twitchquotes: ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) Every 60 seconds in Africa, a minute passes. Together we can stop this. Please spread the word ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
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April 2014

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This new spam is FABULOUS

twitchquotes: ▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬ஜ۩۞۩ஜ▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬ KappaPride DAMN THIS NEW SPAM IS FABULOUS KappaPride ▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬ஜ۩۞۩ஜ▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬
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September 2015

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Natalie Portman is the reason I work out

Natalie Portman is the reason I work out. I have this fantasy where we start talking at the Vanity Fair Oscars party bar. We exchange a few pleasantries. She asks what I do. I say I loved her in New Girl. She laughs. I get my drink. "Well, see ya," I say and walk away. I've got her attention now. How many guys voluntarily leave a conversation with Natalie Portman? She touches her neck as she watches me leave. Later, as the night's dragged on and the coterie of gorgeous narcissists grows increasingly loose, she finds me on the balcony, my bowtie undone, smoking a cigarette. "Got a spare?" she asks. "What's in it for me?" I say as I hand her one of my little white ladies. She smiles. "Conversation with me, duh." I laugh. "What's so funny?" she protests. "Nothing, nothing... It's just... don't you grow tired of the egos?" "You get used to it," she says, lighting her cigarette and handing me back the lighter. "What would you do if you weren't an actress?" I ask. "Teaching, I think." "And if I was your student, what would I be learning?" "Discipline," she says quickly, looking up into my eyes, before changing the subject. "Where are you from?" "Bermuda," I say. "Oh wow. That's lovely." "It's ok," I admit. "Not everything is to my liking." "What could possibly be not to your liking in Bermuda?" she inquires. "I don't like sand," I tell her. "It's coarse and rough and irritating and it gets everywhere."
January 2021

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YOU DON'T GET TO TENTACLE ME OCTO-CHAN!

twitchquotes: ⧹╲⎝⧹ PunOko ⎠╱⧸⎠ Squid1 Squid3 Squid2 Squid4 YOU DON'T GET TO TENTACLE ME OCTO-CHAN! ⧹╲⎝⧹ PunOko ⎠╱⧸⎠
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July 2017

Weebs

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