[Copypasta] I hate spam, its so overrated

twitchquotes: I hate spam, its so overrated. Thank you mods for keeping our chat experience so pristine and enjoyable! BlessRNG
twitch chat
August 2017
Waiting for adblock to be disabled
More Copypastas

Andrew Tides "The Turncloak" Biessnener was caught

twitchquotes: Andrew Tides "The Turncloak" Biessnener was caught today at Dulles Airport trying to fly to Moscow. He was found carrying top secret American Hearthstone decks built by Reynad. He planned on passing them to Russian KGB agent, Kolento Pistolev. As he was arrested Tides shouted, "Death to America!"
twitch chat
November 2014
Reynad

FREEDOM ୧༼ಠ益ಠ╭∩╮༽ SUBS

twitchquotes: FREEDOM ୧༼ಠ益ಠ╭∩╮༽ SUBS
twitch chat
March 2016

plebs vs subs

Hello Tides is me Kripperino here

twitchquotes: ヽ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)ノ Hello Tides is me Kripperino here. I have finished my streaming days. Please take care of my childerinos for me, and pay their child supporterino. Lots of love, Kripp <3
twitch chat
June 2015
TidesOfTime

Oh my gourd, I am financially ruined (agricultural futures)

I have lost everything, and I'm not sure how to continue. This summer I invested $17,500 (six months salary and my entire life savings) into ornamental gourd futures, hoping to capitalize on this lucrative emerging industry. After watching a video about Vincent Kosuga and his monopoly on onions, I decided I'd try to do something similar with another vegetable. I did some research and found out many agricultural forecasters expected this year's gourd yield would be far smaller than the past, due to deteriorating soil conditions in central Mexico and a warmer-than-average spring. At first, demand soared around Halloween and prices skyrocketed, but the gourd bubble burst on November 12th. Unfortunately, the coronavirus caused a massive drop-off in demand due to fewer families decorating their tables for thanksgiving, and prices plummeted. I had invested early enough that I thought I would still be fine, but then on the morning of December 2nd, a new email in my inbox caused my stomach to turn into a pretzel. The massive gourd shipment from Argentina, scheduled for early March, had arrived. I was planning on selling off my futures right before this, in February, but this ruined everything. To top it off, the gourds in this shipment were absolutely gargantuan, some topping 4 pounds each, causing the price-per-pound to drop like an anchor into the range of 6 cents per pound. I am ruined.
January 2021

Classic

WallStreetBets

Squid game has ruined my life

Squid Game has ruined my life. I can’t look at a PS4 controller without bursting out in laughter because it remind me of the guards. The electrical room from among us already ruined my fucking life and now the signs on it gives me a fucking heart attack because squid game. Shape toys? THE FUCKING GUARD SIGNS AGAIN! Pineapple guy is player #001? Wtf. The neutral emoji I can’t even look at it it turns into player #456 in my sleep. Nikocado Avocado has a square sign on his chest I SERIOUSLY THOUGHT HE WAS A SQUARE GUARD WTF!!! I can’t even eat doritos because of squid game. I can’t even play fucking splatoon because of that horrible squid game. The 🌝 emoji just fucking turns into the doll from the first game and I can’t make it stop. I wanna fucking kill myself my life is fucking ruined
October 2021

Squid Game

Text-to-Speech Playing