[Copypasta] I hate spam, its so overrated

twitchquotes: I hate spam, its so overrated. Thank you mods for keeping our chat experience so pristine and enjoyable! BlessRNG
twitch chat
August 2017
Waiting for adblock to be disabled
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we don't operate on empty jars of spaghetti sauce

gf is prego we like to get kinky anyways one night things get particularly saucy i'm sticking my noodle in her when I notice weird fucking chunks coming out, so I turn on the lights wtf it's red everywhere and she's obviously not on her period i look up at her, she's got a glassy, jarred look on her face and she's not answering ohshitohshitohshitohshit i rush her into my car and speed all the way to the hospital she's still bleeding everywhere by the time we get there, she's not bleeding much anymore, but all the color has drained and she looks colorless and almost transparent oh shit, she looks like she's in a vegetative state storm into to the emergency room, cary her to the nearest doctor and explain eveything he takes one look at ther and says "sir, i'm sorry, there's nothing we can do" "WHY THE FUCK NOT???" "we don't operate on empty jars of spaghetti sauce"
February 2021

Classic

Saying that the Easter Bunny does not orgasm with every egg laid is considered blasphemy and grounds for excommunication from the Church.

Weird fact: the Easter Bunny was the source of a significant amount of theological debate during the 1200's, as Catholic philosophers debated why God would create a creature in a constant state of labor (and thus suffering). The Catholic Church ultimately resolved this question by declaring that the Easter Bunny orgasmed every time it laid it an egg (which it was doing constantly). This is now codified in Canon Law (the legal code of the Catholic Church and much of Europe in the pre-modern era) and saying that the Easter Bunny does not orgasm with every egg laid is considered blasphemy and grounds for excommunication from the Church.
April 2022

Holiday

Easter

This is the 12-0 Police, you're coming with... nevermind

twitchquotes: (炭路炭墓摊路炭 炭) This is the 12-0 Police, you're coming with ... Nevermind wrong person. (路炭墓摊路炭 炭)
twitch chat
January 2015
Trump

We will not go quietly into the night!

twitchquotes: We will not go quietly into the night! WutFace We will not vanish without a fight! WutFace We鈥檙e going to live on! WutFace We鈥檙e going to survive! WutFace Today, we celebrate our Independence Day! WutFace BROTHERS, HOLD THE LINE 馃彞 WutFace _馃敧
twitch chat
February 2016
Kripp
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