[Copypasta] 98% of memes aren't even remotely funny

twitchquotes: Did πŸ‘ You πŸ‘ˆ Know? πŸ’­ 98% of πŸ’¦ memes 🐸 aren't 🚫 even πŸŒƒ remotely funny, πŸ˜„ but πŸ‘ rather πŸ‘‰ an πŸ‘Ή indication of πŸ’¦ the πŸ‘ low πŸ“‰ intelligence, absence of πŸ’¦ empathy, and πŸ‘ devolution of πŸ’¦ modern πŸ–₯ man. πŸ‘¨
twitch chat
July 2017
(β–€ΜΏΔΉΜ―β”œβ”¬β”΄β”¬β”΄ Psst... kid, you wanna disable adblock?
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are you a "girl"?? A "female?" A "member of the finer sex?"

Excuse me sir or ma'am but I couldn't help but notice.... are you a "girl"?? A "female?" A "member of the finer sex?" Not that it matters too much, but it's just so rare to see a girl around here! I don't mind, no--quite to the contrary! It's so refreshing to see a girl online, to the point where I'm always telling all my friends "I really wish girls were better represented on the internet." And here you are! I don't mean to push or anything, but if you wanted to DM me about anything at all, I'd love to pick your brain and learn all there is to know about you. I'm sure you're an incredibly interesting girl--though I see you as just a person, really--and I think we could have lots to teach each other. I've always wanted the chance to talk to a gorgeous lady--and I'm pretty sure you've got to be gorgeous based on the position of your text in the picture--so feel free to shoot me a message, any time at all! You don't have to be shy about it, because you're beautiful anyways (that's juyst a preview of all the compliments I have in store for our chat). Looking forwards to speaking with you soon, princess! EDIT: I couldn't help but notice you haven't sent your message yet. There's no need to be nervous! I promise I don't bite, haha EDIT 2: In case you couldn't find it, you can click the little chat button from my profile and we can get talking ASAP. Not that I don't think you could find it, but just in case hahah EDIT 3: look I don't understand why you're not even talking to me, is it something I said? EDIT 4: I knew you were always a bitch, but I thought I was wrong. I thought you weren't like all the other girls out there but maybe I was too quick to judge EDIT 5: don't ever contact me again whore EDIT 6: hey are you there?
September 2021

Simps

I sexually identify as a priest player

twitchquotes: I sexually identify as a priest player. Everyday I dream about flying into ranked games and conceding to rank 25 players. Call me retarded. I don't care. I'm beautiful. I'm getting plastic surgery to get my minions silenced for 2 mana. You can now refer to me as Anduinn and respect my right to concede on turn 1. If you can't accept me you're a holy-phobe and need to check your concede privileges. Thank you for being so understanding.
twitch chat
August 2016

Hearthstone

I sexually Identify as

Sleeping naked is a power move anyways

Sleeping naked is a power move anyways. β€’ ⁠Burglar breaks in boom I’m up and naked. He’s too distracted trying to determine if I’m a man or woman because of my massive bush to notice me reaching for my glock fawty. ⁠‒ ⁠When I pee or poop in my sleep from the nightmares I don’t get any clothes dirty just the sheets. β€’ ⁠Save money on not having to run an AC in the summer time so I can buy my wife more lingerie for her boyfriend to appreciate.
August 2021

AITA for saving a child from a dangerous situation?

I know this sounds bad, but hear me out. Earlier this month, I was walking home from the store as usual. I began smelling a feint burning smell and I heard muffled shouting ahead. I picked up the pace to discover the commotion. A building was on fire and a small child was standing by the second story window shrieking for help as flames rose behind him. Luckily, I had been doing parkour ever since I was a teen so I climbed up to his window and reached out to grab the child. He reached out for me as well and I hoisted him down on my back. When we reached the ground the child ran to his parents and they thanked me while hugging him. Later today I was visiting a friend in prison who happens to be serving a sentence for attempted murder of many children. He said I was an asshole and I shouldn’t have saved the kid from the burning building. Ever since, I can’t help but feel like kind of an asshole so I would appreciate to hear a third persons perspective on this. So reddit, AITA?
January 2022

Am I The Asshole?

Gay chicken

twitchquotes: In high school, I was dared to play "gay chicken", which is where two straight guys pretend to be gay, and the first one to chicken out loses. The other guy and I are both really stubborn, and neither one of us wanted to lose. We've been married 14 years and we run a bed and breakfast in Vermont with out adopted daughter. If that dude doesn't chicken out soon, I'm going to start to suspect that he's actually gay
twitch chat
September 2019

Classic

KappaPride

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