[Copypasta] 98% of memes aren't even remotely funny

twitchquotes: Did πŸ‘ You πŸ‘ˆ Know? πŸ’­ 98% of πŸ’¦ memes 🐸 aren't 🚫 even πŸŒƒ remotely funny, πŸ˜„ but πŸ‘ rather πŸ‘‰ an πŸ‘Ή indication of πŸ’¦ the πŸ‘ low πŸ“‰ intelligence, absence of πŸ’¦ empathy, and πŸ‘ devolution of πŸ’¦ modern πŸ–₯ man. πŸ‘¨
twitch chat
July 2017
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas

The Feed Lord is here

twitchquotes: Michael "Imaqtpie" Santana slowly stroked his beard. There was only one thing on his mind. "I have a need..." he smirked. "A need to feed." His hand moved from his beard to his mouse. He locked in kog maw with a grin. "The Feed Lord is here."
twitch chat
August 2015
imaqtpie

League of Legends

Comedy God has entered the building: Attack Helicopter

I Sexually Identify as an Attack Helicopter WEE WOO WEE WOO ALERT! COMEDY GOD HAS ENTERED THE BUILDING! GET TO COVER! steps on stage Bystander: "Oh god! Don't do it! I have a family!" Comedy God: "Heh..." adjusts fedora the building is filled with fear and anticipation God and Jesus himself looks on in suspense comedy god clears throat everything is completely quiet not a single sound is heard world leaders look and wait with dread everything in the world stops nothing is happening comedy god smirks no one is prepared for what is going to happen comedy god musters all of this power he bellows out to the world "ATTACK" absolute suspense everyone is filled with overwhelming dread "HELICOPTER" all at once, absolute pandemonium commences all nuclear powers launch their nukes at once giant brawls start 43 wars are declared simultaneously a shockwave travels around the earth earth is driven into chaos humanity is regressed back to the stone age the pure funny of that joke destroyed civilization itself all the while people are laughing harder than they ever did people who aren't killed die from laughter literally the funniest joke in the world then the comedy god himself posts his creation to reddit and gets karma
August 2021

Classic

Wikipedia donation request

To all our readers in the U.S., Please don't scroll past this. This Friday we humbly ask you to defend Wikipedia's future. 98% of our readers don't give; they simply look the other way. If you are an exceptional reader who has already donated, we sincerely thank you. If you donate just $2.75 today, Wikipedia could keep thriving in the long term. We ask you, humbly: please don’t scroll away. If Wikipedia has given you $2.75 worth of knowledge, take a minute to donate to the Wikimedia Endowment. Show the world that access to reliable, neutral information matters to you. Thank you.
January 2022

TSM aka "Tribe of Silver Monkeys"

twitchquotes: TSM, aka "Tribe of Silver Monkeys," is a team in Riot Games' Minor League that is often ridiculed for being washed-up and having an owner that looks like Wukong. It is specifically known for its obnoxious fanbase and mind-numbing throws.
twitch chat
July 2019
Riot Games

Classic

League of Legends

Bear

β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–„β–„β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–„β–„β–„β–„β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–β–€β–€β–„β–ˆβ–€β–€β–€β–€β–€β–’β–„β–’β–€β–Œβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–β–’β–ˆβ–€β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–€β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–€β–Œβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–Œβ–’β–ˆβ–ˆβ–’β–’β–’β–’β–ˆβ–ˆβ–’β–’β–’β–β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–Œβ–’β–’β–„β–’β–ˆβ–ˆβ–’β–„β–„β–’β–’β–’β–β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–β–’β–’β–’β–€β–„β–ˆβ–€β–ˆβ–„β–€β–’β–’β–’β–’β–ˆβ–„β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–€β–ˆβ–„β–’β–’β–β–β–„β–Œβ–Œβ–’β–’β–„β–β–„β–β–‘β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–„β–€β–’β–’β–„β–’β–’β–€β–€β–€β–’β–’β–’β–’β–€β–’β–€β–„β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–’β–€β–ˆβ–€β–Œβ–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–„β–„β–„β–β–’β–’β–β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–€β–„β–„β–Œβ–Œβ–’β–’β–’β–’β–β–’β–’β–’β–€β–’β–’β–β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–β–Œβ–’β–’β–’β–’β–€β–„β–„β–„β–„β–„β–€β–‘β–‘ ░░░░░░░░▐▄▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▐░░░ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–Œβ–’β–’β–’β–’β–„β–„β–’β–’β–’β–β–‘β–‘β–‘
November 2014
Text-to-Speech Playing