[Copypasta] 98% of memes aren't even remotely funny

twitchquotes: Did πŸ‘ You πŸ‘ˆ Know? πŸ’­ 98% of πŸ’¦ memes 🐸 aren't 🚫 even πŸŒƒ remotely funny, πŸ˜„ but πŸ‘ rather πŸ‘‰ an πŸ‘Ή indication of πŸ’¦ the πŸ‘ low πŸ“‰ intelligence, absence of πŸ’¦ empathy, and πŸ‘ devolution of πŸ’¦ modern πŸ–₯ man. πŸ‘¨
twitch chat
July 2017
(β–€ΜΏΔΉΜ―β”œβ”¬β”΄β”¬β”΄ Psst... kid, you wanna disable adblock?
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Infinite Cum Part 3

Your release had increased so much that they could no longer contain you. Your cum has consumed the entirety of the cosmos. Humanity is without a shred of doubt, gone. You are alone in the universe. If there were aliens, they are dead now. It’s over. In despair, you mourn the death of the scientists, of humanity, of everyone. You realize you'll never hear her sweet and calming voice, see her proud body. Your sad. Your terrified. Chronicles pass. The last stars in the universe eclipse. You silently watch as the last atoms break into protons, into quarks, into mere beams of weak energy that disperse along the vertical ropes. But the ropes no longer play their docile music. They have gonne silent. You watch, helplessly, as the Last mozon is engulfed into the ever expanding plane of Cum. Your own creation destroys the very own universe, defying the own plan of existence. You are alone. You scream, but nothing comes out of your mouth. You cry, but nothing descends from your eyes. Do you even have eyes? All you can see is the torrid Instotucional white across the whole of the Universe. Entire Gans eclipse before your eyes, but then you realize the horror: The Cum turned against you. With nothing more to consume, your sons turned against their father, and begin to consume you. You tremble. There's nothing to do. The huge weight impacts you like if whole planets fell onto your shoulders. Your alone. In your last moments, a odd sentiment of peace invades you for the first time since the early days of the universe. It's finally gonna end. You think about all the people that you've met during your stay in this universe. In the end, you think about the researcher. About her arms. Her breasts. You feel... good. For the first time in many hipereons. You jack off it. It's so.... good, you come at the right time, freeing the constrained cum from your menber. You open your eyes, and behold the bathroom door. You are Ok. You remember everything. It's all over. You exit the bathroom after jacking off again, going back to your old life. The cum stops.
April 2022

Infinite Cum

my first attempt at making a copypasta

twitchquotes: ok guys this is my first attempt at making a copypasta so wish me luck
twitch chat
October 2020

Fedora the Explorer

twitchquotes: Hello Reynad, Fedora the Explorer here, moderator of /r/hearthstone. I am here to tell you that reddit is now your enemy because you missed legal.
twitch chat
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Dear Kripp, this is Kevin Kuntmeyer from P.E.T.A

twitchquotes: Dear Kripp, this is Kevin Kuntmeyer from P.E.T.A. It has come to my attention that you brutally brofisted a small defenseless Kitten in its adorable face live on your stream moments ago. If you do not apologize and rub his little tum tum for 20 minutes on stream, I will be forced to punish you to the fullest extent of the law. You've been warned...
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Mods are Nazis

twitchquotes: the mods have literally been active on the political scene of Germany between 1938-1945
twitch chat
April 2014

MODS

Text-to-Speech Playing