[Copypasta] Do you have what it takes to be a Memester?

slow claps steps out of the shadows Heh... not bad, kid. Not bad at all. Your meme, I mean. It's not bad. A good first attempt. It's plenty dank... I can tell it's got some thought behind it... lots of quotable material... But memeing isn't all sunshine and rainbows, kid. You're skilled... that much I can tell. But do you have what it takes to be a Memester? To join those esteemed meme ranks? To call yourself a member of the Ruseman's Corps? Memeing takes talent, that much is true. But more than that it takes heart. The world-class Memesters - I mean the big guys, like Johnny Hammersticks and Billy Kuahana - they're out there day and night, burning the midnight meme-oil, working tirelessly to craft that next big meme. And you know what, kid? 99 times out of a hundred, that new meme fails. Someone dismisses it as bait, or says it's "tryhard," or ignores it as they copy/paste the latest shitpost copypasta dreamt up by those sorry excuses for cut-rate memers over at reddit. The Meme Game is rough, kid, and I don't just mean the one you just lost :). It's a rough business, and for every artisan meme you craft in your meme bakery, some cocksucker at 9gag has a picture of a duck or some shit that a million different Johnny No-Names will attach a milion different captions to. Chin up, kid. Don't get all mopey on me. You've got skill. You've got talent. You just need to show your drive. See you on the boards...
June 2017
What happened to this ad? :(
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You are NOT a closer

It's SURPRISING that QT lives at your house. I don't know HOW you closed that deal cause you've never closed anything EVER. You're not a closer. You're a relief pitcher AT MAX. You're not a fucking clos- you don't got the ICE COLD VEINS like ME that I was BORN WITH to COMPETE. You're a 6th/7th inning PITCHER! You pitch those 1 2 innings FOR ME. So mango can come in and CLOSE THE DEAL. Cause I'M A CLOSER.
August 2021
ludwig

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A collecion of OwOs and their uses

twitchquotes: A collecion of OwOs and their uses: OwO : Standard use, for noticing bulges owo : When the bulge isn't as big uwu : When you're not impressed by the bulge or there isn't one ÒwÓ : Mischievous OwO, for when you're feeling devious □w□ : The OwO for people who wear glasses ●w● : The OwO if you're wearing sunglasses Owo : For feeling confused of the bulge ♡w♡ : The legendary OwO, used for bulges so large that you get heart eyes from it. Do not use this emote lightly, for the power of it is great
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February 2019

Weebs

I couldn’t tell you what half of the companies in my portfolio do

I couldn’t tell you what half of the companies in my portfolio do or even what the ticker stands for...but you better believe I’m jacked to the mf’ing tits in every single meme stonk that you crayon eaters have been pumping. CHOO CHOO MF’ER.
December 2020

WallStreetBets

SMOrc

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September 2020

THATS A YEP MOMENT

twitchquotes: THATS A "YEP" MOMENT LUL 💦 THATS A "YEP" MOMENT LUL 💦 THATS A "YEP" MOMENT LUL 💦 THATS A "YEP" MOMENT LUL 💦 THATS A "YEP" MOMENT LUL 💦 THATS A "YEP" MOMENT LUL 💦 THATS A "YEP" MOMENT LUL 💦 THATS A "YEP" MOMENT LUL 💦
twitch chat
June 2020
Text-to-Speech Playing