[Copypasta] Do you have what it takes to be a Memester?

slow claps steps out of the shadows Heh... not bad, kid. Not bad at all. Your meme, I mean. It's not bad. A good first attempt. It's plenty dank... I can tell it's got some thought behind it... lots of quotable material... But memeing isn't all sunshine and rainbows, kid. You're skilled... that much I can tell. But do you have what it takes to be a Memester? To join those esteemed meme ranks? To call yourself a member of the Ruseman's Corps? Memeing takes talent, that much is true. But more than that it takes heart. The world-class Memesters - I mean the big guys, like Johnny Hammersticks and Billy Kuahana - they're out there day and night, burning the midnight meme-oil, working tirelessly to craft that next big meme. And you know what, kid? 99 times out of a hundred, that new meme fails. Someone dismisses it as bait, or says it's "tryhard," or ignores it as they copy/paste the latest shitpost copypasta dreamt up by those sorry excuses for cut-rate memers over at reddit. The Meme Game is rough, kid, and I don't just mean the one you just lost :). It's a rough business, and for every artisan meme you craft in your meme bakery, some cocksucker at 9gag has a picture of a duck or some shit that a million different Johnny No-Names will attach a milion different captions to. Chin up, kid. Don't get all mopey on me. You've got skill. You've got talent. You just need to show your drive. See you on the boards...
June 2017
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More Copypastas

Kripp defending Blizzard on Diablo Immortal

twitchquotes: Hi Kripp, video game journalist and decent human being here. Looking to get your thoughts on the disgusting response of entitled gamers to the Diablo Immortal reveal. On a scale from Hitler (least evil) to Straight White Male PC Gamer (most evil), how would you characterize those who criticize Blizzard? Hope to hear you are as unbiased as I am, thanks!
twitch chat
November 2018
Kripp

Dreaming about forsen

⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⢸⢟⣛⠻⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣿⣶⣶⣶⡆⠄ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡆⢸⡿⡽⠿⠾⣿⣿⡿⠿⠟⠛⠛⠛⠻⡇⠄ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡗⢸⣧⣤⢴⡦⣽⣿⠃⢀⣀⡒⠯⠄⢀⢀⠄ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧⢸⣿⣿⣶⣿⣿⣧⠄⠚⢿⣧⣅⣀⣤⣔⡄ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠿⣿⣷⢸⣿⡿⣻⠿⠟⠁⠄⠄⠄⠹⣿⣿⣿⡿⠁ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⣿⣄⣀⣸⣿⢸⣿⣿⣅⣤⡦⠦⣄⠄⠄⠄⠙⣿⡉⠄⠄ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧⣤⣼⣿⣿⣿⡯⢸⣿⠿⢿⣿⣏⣉⢙⣒⣿⣿⢿⡿⠃⠛⠁ ⣿⣿⣿⢋⣭⠍⠛⠛⠛⢿⣿⣿⣿⣷⠸⠋⠄⠄⠿⠿⠿⠿⠿⠛⠃⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⡿⣛⡭⠌⠁⠊⢠⣿⣟⣤⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣶⣦⣦⣄⣤⣤⣤⣀⣤⣠⣤⣤⣤⣶ ⡇⢿⣰⠏⢀⣾⢆⣽⣛⣼⣦⠉⢻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⡘⢿⣤⣿⣵⡟⣸⣿⠿⠃⠄⢠⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⢿⣿⣛ ⣿⣧⢺⣿⣿⣿⡟⠋⠄⠄⣠⡔⣘⡻⠿⠿⠛⠛⠉⠉⠉⠉⠄⠉⠉⠉⠛⠒⠿⠿ ⣿⣿⣧⢿⣿⣿⣧⠄⢴⡿⢋⣴⣿⣿⡟⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣟⣻⠿⣛⣩⣶⣿⣿⡿⠟⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠈⠛⠿⣿⣿⠿⠘⣿⣿⢿⣿⠟⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄
December 2020
Forsen

AITA for ending my marriage over Animal Crossing??

I (65m) and my wife 24(f) have been together for 8 years, married for 4. All my friends are jealous that i was able to score such a hot young woman but it’s starting to cause some problems in our relationship believe it or not. When the pandemic hit, I was very nervous since I’m not in great health. We decided to buy the Nintendo Switch and play this game called Animal Crossing. I guess it’s popular with the kids? Anywho, we start building this town and everything was fine at first. Then, my wife decides that she wants to remodel the town. No problem. But she starts cutting down all the trees, destroying the cliffs, removing the river, etc... I told her this is out of line. We should respect nature not destroy it. Her answer? It was ugly and she didn’t like to walk the long way around. She also takes all of my hard earned money from fishing and gambles it all away on turnip stocks. Last week she spent 400k on turnips and sold them for 260k. Do you know how many red snappers I need to catch to make that back up? I’m trying to retire soon and it’s making me think she doesn’t know how to manage money. What really drove me to the breaking point, my best friend Boon is on the island and we really get along. He likes to lift weights, so do I. I log into the game one day and build him a gift. When I try to find him, he’s nowhere to be found... I ask, where is boon? She doesn’t answer. Where is Boon ?? She says “I kicked him off the island, he was annoying”. Reddit, she kicked my best friend off the island without even talking to me. The next day I filed for divorce and kicked her out. I’m keeping the switch and rebuilding our town. Hopefully Boon comes back. AITA or did I doge a bullet with my sociopathic (ex)wife? Edit: Thank you all for the support and messages over the last 24hrs. It’s been a wild day but the good news is that after a few hours of island hopping I was able to find Boon and convince him to come back to my island. Seems like things are heading in the right direction.
August 2021

AITA

Gru and Spongebob fanfic

August 2021

Spongebob

NSFW

Absolutely appalled at it, 12 mins or so of pure shit

December 2020

Belle Delphine

Text-to-Speech Playing