[Copypasta] Don't post another copypasta

twitchquotes: Hey😠stop🚨right there ✋ this is the police 👮 if you post another 📖 copy📠🍝 pasta again in this neighborhood 🏠🏠 I'm gonna have to 🔒arrest you🔒 no ticket today 👦 kiddo 📟this is just a warning ⚠ be careful next time🚧
twitch chat
June 2017
I used to be a real ad
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If Biden wins, I'm moving to Alaska

twitchquotes: I simply will not stand to live in a country ruled by Biden. So if he wins the election, I am packing my bags and moving far away, where Joseph "Malarkey" Biden cannot reach me. I will be starting a new life in Alaska.
twitch chat
November 2020

2020 US Election

Blessings to you, Oh Salty One

twitchquotes: Blessings to you, Oh Salty One. This is Pope Francis, leader of the Catholic Church. My son, why do you avoid choosing Priest for your arena runs? Are you so afraid of attaining Salvation? It worries me that you prefer playing the murderous rogue or the destructive mage to the humble priest. You have sinned much already through your veganism, but atonement can be reached through more Priest runs. Thank you and God Bless.
twitch chat
July 2018
Kripp

Hearthstone

Fired for masturbating on a Zoom call

So this just happened an hour ago and I am still shaking. I’m a staff in public accounting and was in the middle of a 3-hour training on Zoom. Usually when we have these types of calls I just keep the video running in the background and I walk around the room doing things to pass the time and distract myself from the monotone presenters. Well today I forgot that I left the camera on (I usually always have it off but earlier today I had a call with the partner to discuss my upcoming promotion, so I had to have it on). I had no clue I had left the camera on and in the middle of walking around and muttering to myself as I was zoning out, I flipped it out and started to rub one out. I did so with complete confidence, openly and ferociously, stroking faster and faster until I heard the presenter stop and kindly asked me to turn my camera off. Mortified, I lifted my pants up and rushed over to turn the camera off. Soon after the training was over I had a call with HR and they let me know that I was being terminated. I hated the job anyway so not so bummed about that, but I’m not sure what to say in interviews now if I’m asked why I left this job. Any advice?
June 2021

Kripp's MALDHAWK

twitchquotes: Late last year, we were on an expedition to find the rarest hairstyle of them all.. the "MALDHAWK" A combination of MALD and a hawk nest, it combines the fluidity of middle aged male pattern baldness to a contrast of dead rats. Much to our chagrin, we found it April 13th, 2020, on a morose Canadian gypsy's stream. He had over 10k viewers at the time of writing this
twitch chat
April 2020
Kripp

MagicAmy should play as a spy in TF2

twitchquotes: (◕‿◕✿) MagicAmy you should play as a spy in TF2 so you can justify being a shapeshifting backstabbing sociopath (◕‿◕✿)
twitch chat
February 2015
magicamy
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