[Copypasta] my dream is full of monkaS in chat

twitchquotes: monkaS πŸ‘‰ ⚠️ ATTENTION ⚠️ my dream is full of monkaS in chat, pls help me fulfill my dream monkaS ☝️
twitch chat
June 2017
(β–€ΜΏΔΉΜ―β”œβ”¬β”΄β”¬β”΄ Psst... kid, you wanna disable adblock?
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An exceedingly excellent "your mother" joke

Greetings. My name is Beef, and today I would like to present an exceedingly excellent "your mother" joke. I will now begin. Your biological mother is so morbidly obese, when she went to go get her yearly physical done, the doctor took her blood and the results concluded that she had a high blood pressure, onset type 2 diabetes, hypertension and the possibility of heart disease. She also suffers from severe depression, because she lacks confidence in her physical appearance, which enables her to consume even more food, making her more obese. Not to mention, but your mother is becoming so monstrous, she had a hard time fitting through small spaces and exceeding weight limits on practical applications. Your mother has an endless cycle of malicious eating habits that only make her health worsen over time. I hope whoever has just read this enjoyed the humorous "your mother" joke. Thank you for your time, and have a blessed day.
April 2022

Can a nigga borrow a fry?

He says it every morning. He calls me nigga, he calls the other kids nigga, he calls himself nigga. All the time. Nigga this, nigga that, nigga PLEASE. Bitch nigga. Nigga have you lost your mind? Nigga check that ho. Nigga, you bullshittin. Break yourself, nigga. He says it so much I don't even notice it anymore. Last week in lunch Riley says to a classmate, "Can a nigga borrow a French fry?" My first thought wasn't "Oh my God he said the word, t-the n-word!" It was "How is a nigga gonna borrow a fry?, nigga, is you gonna give it back?"
January 2021

I like to drink my milk

twitchquotes: I like to drink my milk<ΰΌΌΰΊˆΩ„ΝœΰΊˆΰΌ½> I do it all the time γƒ½ΰΌΌΰΊˆΩ„ΝœΰΊˆΰΌ½οΎ‰ and every time I drink itβ”ŒΰΌΌΰΊˆΩ„ΝœΰΊˆ ┐ Kripp starts to scream and whine β”ŒΰΌΌ@Ω„Νœ@༽┐ But never need to worry ΰΌΌ ΒΊΩ„ΝŸΒΊΰΌ½ my Bones are staying strong γƒ½ΰΌΌΰΊˆΩ„ΝœΰΊˆΰΌ½οΎ‰
twitch chat
October 2014
Kripp

Bender

───────────────────────────── β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–β–ˆβ–Œβ”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€ β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–β–‘β–Œβ”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€ β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–β–‘β–Œβ”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€ β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–β–‘β–Œβ”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€ ──────────▄▄▀░░░▀▄▄────────── ────────▄▀░░░░░░░░░▀▄──────── ──────▄▀░░░░░░░░░░░░░▀▄────── β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–Œβ”€β”€β”€β”€β”€ β”€β”€β”€β”€β–β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–Œβ”€β”€β”€β”€ β”€β”€β”€β–β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–Œβ”€β”€β”€ β”€β”€β”€β–β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–Œβ”€β”€β”€ β”€β”€β”€β–β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–Œβ”€β”€β”€ β”€β”€β”€β–β–€β–€β–€β–€β–€β–€β–€β–€β–€β–€β–€β–€β–€β–€β–€β–€β–€β–€β–€β–€β–€β–Œβ”€β”€β”€ β”€β”€β–„β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–„β”€β”€ β”€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–„β”€ β”€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ”€ β”€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ”€ β”€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ”€β”€β”€β–€β–€β–€β”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ”€β”€β”€β–€β–€β–€β”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ”€ β”€β–€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–„β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–„β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–„β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–„β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–€β”€ β”€β”€β–€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–€β”€β”€ β”€β”€β”€β–β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–Œβ”€β”€β”€ β”€β”€β”€β–β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–Œβ”€β”€β”€ β”€β”€β”€β–β–‘β–„β–€β–€β–ˆβ–€β–€β–ˆβ–€β–€β–ˆβ–€β–€β–ˆβ–€β–€β–ˆβ–€β–€β–„β–‘β–Œβ”€β”€β”€ β”€β”€β”€β–β–‘β–ˆβ–„β–„β–ˆβ–„β–„β–ˆβ–„β–„β–ˆβ–„β–„β–ˆβ–„β–„β–ˆβ–„β–„β–ˆβ–‘β–Œβ”€β”€β”€ β”€β”€β”€β–β–‘β–ˆβ”€β”€β–ˆβ”€β”€β–ˆβ”€β”€β–ˆβ”€β”€β–ˆβ”€β”€β–ˆβ”€β”€β–ˆβ–‘β–Œβ”€β”€β”€ β”€β”€β”€β–β–‘β–ˆβ–€β–€β–ˆβ–€β–€β–ˆβ–€β–€β–ˆβ–€β–€β–ˆβ–€β–€β–ˆβ–€β–€β–ˆβ–‘β–Œβ”€β”€β”€ β”€β”€β”€β–β–‘β–€β–„β–„β–ˆβ–„β–„β–ˆβ–„β–„β–ˆβ–„β–„β–ˆβ–„β–„β–ˆβ–„β–„β–€β–‘β–Œβ”€β”€β”€ β”€β”€β”€β–β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–Œβ”€β”€β”€ β”€β”€β”€β–β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–Œβ”€β”€β”€ ────▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀────
September 2021

I think I'm addicted to settings

God, I fucking love the settings app. I can't stop fucking changing the text size and checking for the new system update. God, the little slider icon turns me on so much. Whenever there is a system update I cry because I can't go on settings again. My screen time shows 107 hours of settings a day, which isn't even fucking possible.
August 2021
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