twitchquotes:
乇乂ㄒ尺卂 ㄒ卄丨匚匚
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I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas
Young pistachio becomes grand old cashew
twitchquotes:
Let me tell you a story. I was once a young pistachio like you. But then I saw the light. I saw the kripp and let the kripp into my life. Now I am a grand old cashew with a pepperoni plantation to boot. Don't make the mistake I once did and deny the kripp. Kripp is love. Kripp is life. Praise the Kripp. Amen.
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Kripp
TIFU: By slapping my wife’s ass
TIFU: By slapping my wife’s ass
Last night my wife and I were getting hot and heavy, and began having sex. During sex, I decided to put in a little spanking.
This is where things got weird.
As I slapped her ass in the heat of the moment, she bursts out with “yes daddy, spank me harder!” (To preface I knew she had some serious daddy issues)This initially was a turn on, but after a few seconds all I could think of was disciplining my daughter and my face went sour. I stopped immediately and felt awkward. She responded with “what’s wrong daddy, did you not punish me enough?”
I walked out of the room and told her I needed a minute. Now I don’t think I can ever have sex again.
TL;DR slapped my wife’s ass, called me daddy, now I can only think about disciplining my daughter and don’t know if I can ever have sex again
Ads on imaqtpie's stream
twitchquotes:
Hey QT, I was enjoying a session of ads on your stream recently, when it abruptly ended after only 45 minutes. Could you please fix this, me and my wife are eager to know how effective this kitchen cleaner will be!
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imaqtpie
Somewhere in a parallel universe, Reynad isn't salty
twitchquotes:
★ ★ ° ☾ ☆ ¸. ¸ ★ :. . • ○ ° ★ . * . . ¸ . ° ¸. * ● ¸ . ...somewhere ° ☾ ° ¸. ● ¸ . ★ ° :. . • ° . * :. .in a parallel universe* ● ¸ ° ☾ °☆ . * ¸. ★ ★ ° . . . ☾ °☆ . * ● ¸ ..Reynad...° ☾ ★ °● ¸ . ★ ° :. . • ○ ° ★ . * Isn't salty ☾ ★ °● ¸ . ★ °
twitch chat
Reynad
Classic
Hearthstone
salty
Trolling my whole class with Among Us Part 1
So today in school, my English teacher was having us do presentation in front of our class. For my presentation, I decided to troll my entire class by making my entire slideshow about the popular game, Among Us. I started off the presentation by showing the class the picture of the Among Us imposter wearing sneakers (it's a meme on google if you want to search for it). For some reason, no one laughed at the meme. My teacher told me "this isn't what your presentation is supposed to be about." I responded by yelling "THE TEACHER IS SUS I SAW HER VENT" and then naruto running around the room. Again, no one even giggled. I assume it's because it was forst bell and everyone was tired. My teacher said "Please sit down." But I wasn't about to give up. I made a last ditch effort to make everyone laugh. I started to beatbox the Among Us theme song trap remix. I was beatboxing it so well (i had practiced it at home), i was certain that everyone would burst out in laughter. Unfortunately, not a single person laughed. Everyone was staring at me, so I said "You guys are all sussy, I'm gonna eject you".
Long story short, I ended up getting a bad grade on my presentation and I got a detention. However, it was worth it because I totally got to troll my entire class.