[Copypasta] Please stop spamming, for Bernard

twitchquotes: Guys please stop spamming. My dog, Bernard, looked at my chat and got so dizzy because of the spam that he fell down and hit his noggin right on his food bowl! He couldn't talk for hours. Please stop spamming, for Bernard.
twitch chat
December 2014

Classic

(โ–€ฬฟฤนฬฏโ”œโ”ฌโ”ดโ”ฌโ”ด Psst... kid, you wanna disable adblock?
More Classic Copypastas

Natalie Portman is the reason I work out

Natalie Portman is the reason I work out. I have this fantasy where we start talking at the Vanity Fair Oscars party bar. We exchange a few pleasantries. She asks what I do. I say I loved her in New Girl. She laughs. I get my drink. "Well, see ya," I say and walk away. I've got her attention now. How many guys voluntarily leave a conversation with Natalie Portman? She touches her neck as she watches me leave. Later, as the night's dragged on and the coterie of gorgeous narcissists grows increasingly loose, she finds me on the balcony, my bowtie undone, smoking a cigarette. "Got a spare?" she asks. "What's in it for me?" I say as I hand her one of my little white ladies. She smiles. "Conversation with me, duh." I laugh. "What's so funny?" she protests. "Nothing, nothing... It's just... don't you grow tired of the egos?" "You get used to it," she says, lighting her cigarette and handing me back the lighter. "What would you do if you weren't an actress?" I ask. "Teaching, I think." "And if I was your student, what would I be learning?" "Discipline," she says quickly, looking up into my eyes, before changing the subject. "Where are you from?" "Bermuda," I say. "Oh wow. That's lovely." "It's ok," I admit. "Not everything is to my liking." "What could possibly be not to your liking in Bermuda?" she inquires. "I don't like sand," I tell her. "It's coarse and rough and irritating and it gets everywhere."
January 2021

Classic

Babe im breaking up with u

twitchquotes: babe, i'm breaking up with you. it's not you, you were poggers. it's me, i'm omegalul. im sorry if this is pepehands but it has to be done, i've just been feeling pepega and our relationship has been weirdchamp for months, it's time to end it, no kappa.
twitch chat
March 2020

Classic

Uninstalling valorant

UNINSTALLING VALORANT โ–‡โ–‡โ–‡โ–‡โ–‡โ–‡โ–‡โ–‡โ–‡โ–‡โ–‡โ–‡โ–‡โ–‡โ–ข ใ€€ใ€€โ•ญโ”โ•ฎโ•ญโ”โ•ฎโ•ญโ•ฎใ€€โ•ฑ ใ€€ใ€€ ใ€€ใ€€โ•ฐโ”โ”ซโ•ฐโ”โ”ซโ•ฐโ•ฏโ•ฑโ•ญโ•ฎ ใ€€ใ€€ ใ€€ใ€€โ•ฐโ”โ•ฏโ•ฐโ”โ•ฏใ€€โ•ฑใ€€โ•ฐโ•ฏ ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ COMPLETE
ascii art
June 2021

Valorant

Classic

MONTHLY PLEB TEST

twitchquotes: PLEASE COPY PASTE THIS FOR YOUR MONTHLY PLEB TEST: โœ“ amazW โœ“ krippW โœ“ trumpW โœ“ btsLdW โœ“ reynadW โœ“ kolentoW โœ“ bajW โœ“ btsKotlW โœ“ dewW โœ“ emjaneW โœ“ forsenW โœ“ krippW โœ“ mitchW โœ“ singsingFcuk โœ“ reckW โœ“ sodaW โœ“ btsGodzW โœ“ merliniHappyMerlini โœ“ taymooW โœ“ rtzW โœ“ admiralW โœ“ envySwag โœ“ sumailKappa โœ“ btsMerliniW โœ“ wtrWtR โœ“ dagerDendi โœ“ ppdSalt โœ“ fearGASM โœ“ singsingP โœ“ fluffyW โœ“ ratW โœ“ Pleb test passed
twitch chat
April 2016

Classic

My Grandfather smoked his whole life

My Grandfather smoked his whole life. I was about 10 years old when my mother said to him, 'If you ever want to see your grandchildren graduate, you have to stop immediately.'. Tears welled up in his eyes when he realized what exactly was at stake. He gave it up immediately. Three years later he died of lung cancer. It was really sad and destroyed me. My mother said to me- 'Don't ever smoke. Please don't put your family through what your Grandfather put us through." I agreed. At 28, I have never touched a cigarette. I must say, I feel a very slight sense of regret for never having done it, because your post gave me cancer anyway.
March 2021

Classic

More Classic Copypastas
Text-to-Speech Playing