[Copypasta] Twitch Chat is the most elusive substance known to man

twitchquotes: 420/69 scientists agree that Twitch Chat is the most elusive substance known to man. The All-Knowing Twitch Chat flows through the very fabric of space and time. Twitch Chat is very unpredictable. What will Twitch Chat copy/pasta next? Nobody knows. Maybe the elusive Twitch Chat will copy/pasta this very message. Just remember, Twitch Chat knows all, and Twitch Chat is always right.
twitch chat
May 2017
What happened to this ad? :(
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My average IQ after taking IQ tests...

twitchquotes: My average IQ after taking IQ tests from accredited psychologist is 134.5 ←Only 2% of the human population score that high. I'm very close to genius level IQ. You calling me stupid is like some one calling Albert Einstein stupid. Which makes one of us look stupid. Hint: Not me.
twitch chat
August 2019

Kripp's wife Hafu and future son Dennis Morosan

twitchquotes: hello kripp, I am from the future. I am best friends with your son, Dennis Morosan. Your wife, Hafu, sent me to tell you Well Met and to message her how much you value penguins and OJ
twitch chat
March 2014
Kripp

I fucking hate gaming laptops

I fucking hate gaming laptops. Today when I walked into my economics class I saw something I dread every time I close my eyes. Someone had brought their new gaming laptop to class. The Forklift he used to bring it was still running idle at the back. I started sweating as I sat down and gazed over at the 700lb beast that was his laptop. He had already reinforced his desk with steel support beams and was in the process of finding an outlet for a power cable thicker than Amy Schumer's thigh. I start shaking. I keep telling myself I'm going to be alright and that there's nothing to worry about. He somehow finds a fucking outlet. Tears are running down my cheeks as I send my last texts to my family saying I love them. The teacher starts the lecture, and the student turns his laptop on. The colored lights on his RGB Backlit keyboard flare to life like a nuclear flash, and a deep humming fills my ears and shakes my very soul. The entire city power grid goes dark. The classroom begins to shake as the massive fans begin to spin. In mere seconds my world has gone from vibrant life, to a dark, earth shattering void where my body is getting torn apart by the 150mph gale force winds and the 500 decibel groan of the cooling fans. As my body finally surrenders, I weep, as my school and my city go under. I fucking hate gaming laptops.
January 2022

xqc 6 consoles

twitchquotes: Analyser, fucking moderator stance, sound filter, 6 monitors, pedals, drums, a gaming guitar, controller, 6 CONSOLES, 10 computers, BUNCH OF FUCKING WIRES, SOUNDPADS, SPEAKERS, ANTENA, SATELLITE, DOG, DOG CAM, CAT CAM, CAT TREE CAT THIS, and a bunch of dogshit dude, able to analyse NASAs landing speeds dude.
twitch chat
December 2020
xQcOW

Stop calling slabs "half-slabs," you fucking imbeciles.

Stop calling slabs "half-slabs," you fucking imbeciles. A slab is half a block. If you say "half-slab," you're literally saying "half half block," or in other words, "quarter-block." A slab is not a quarter of a block. It is a half of a block. There is no such thing as a quarter block.
August 2021

Minecraft

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