[Copypasta] Twitch Chat is the most elusive substance known to man

twitchquotes: 420/69 scientists agree that Twitch Chat is the most elusive substance known to man. The All-Knowing Twitch Chat flows through the very fabric of space and time. Twitch Chat is very unpredictable. What will Twitch Chat copy/pasta next? Nobody knows. Maybe the elusive Twitch Chat will copy/pasta this very message. Just remember, Twitch Chat knows all, and Twitch Chat is always right.
twitch chat
May 2017
What happened to this ad? :(
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The prodigal son has returned

twitchquotes: Papparin opens the door to see a hobo squating outside his house. He hugs the lankey figure and tears drip onto a Diablo 2 shirt that has seen better times. "Tonight we feast," Papparin says as he begins to prepare a meal of falafel. Kripp flops down on his bed, surrounded by empty OJ cartons from a year ago. The prodigal son has returned.
twitch chat
June 2015
Kripp

React Andys constantly pausing the YouTube video

twitchquotes: Streamer the thing is, im just gonna be honest, i really dont care what u have to say, ur words mean nothing to me. But this video...this video means everything to me. And u keep pausing to speak, this feels like a personal attack. Please resume the video and shut the fuck up.
twitch chat
April 2021
Mizkif

i swear, if I hear one more time that you cant counter Viper postplant.

i swear, if I hear one more time that you cant counter Viper postplant. 1) push her (duh) 2) smoke her lineup position so she cant setup the lineup 3) molly her lineup position, as above 4) bodyblock the Snakebite (this one is hilarious) 5) Sage wall to bounce, as above
June 2021

Valorant

I, an atheist, accidentally said ā€œoh my g*dā€ instead of ā€œoh my scienceā€

I, an atheist, accidentally said ā€œoh my g*dā€ instead of ā€œoh my scienceā€ You read the title, I just cannot believe I said the ā€œgā€ word on accident. Am I even an atheist anymore? I donā€™t like religion or anything but like maybe it infiltrated me and is manipulating me to say ā€œoh my g*dā€ instead of ā€œoh my scienceā€. Please guys it wasnā€™t me, I didnā€™t mean it. Iā€™m very disappointed in myself, I think I need to go to science camp or go to therapy. What if Iā€™m secretly religious? what should I do? Is my foreskin going to fall off?? Please can someone give me advice, any advice is appreciated. Best regards, -an atheist(?)
November 2020

My boyfriend doesnt know (from r/trueoffmychest)

At the beginning of this month, my boyfriend received an email from his brother with the subject "Dude check this out" and a Google Doc called "!!NEW RAP!!". When my boyfriend opened it, all that was on the doc was a picture of Nikocado Avocadoā€™s asshole. When my boyfriend texted his brother about receiving his email, he replied "what email?". Theyā€™ve been going back and forth since about the email, my boyfriendā€™s brother saying he never sent an email and my boyfriend thinking heā€™s keeping up the act. What my boyfriend doesnā€™t know is I sent the email. I made an almost identical looking email, one letter off, and even managed to find the exact email profile picture from his brotherā€™s LinkedIn. Now it kills me every time I see them go at it. Iā€™m literally pissing myself as I write this.
May 2022

Reddit

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