[Copypasta] Twitch Chat is the most elusive substance known to man

twitchquotes: 420/69 scientists agree that Twitch Chat is the most elusive substance known to man. The All-Knowing Twitch Chat flows through the very fabric of space and time. Twitch Chat is very unpredictable. What will Twitch Chat copy/pasta next? Nobody knows. Maybe the elusive Twitch Chat will copy/pasta this very message. Just remember, Twitch Chat knows all, and Twitch Chat is always right.
twitch chat
May 2017
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Cheerio Kripp, this is Nigel from Yogurtcast

twitchquotes: Cheerio Kripp, this is Nigel from Yogurtcast. Oliver and I have some smashing news for you! Your casual playstyle, and ability to endure childrens videogames makes you a proper candidate for the splendid world of Minecraft commentary! Tally ho!
twitch chat
May 2015
Kripp

I hate gaming laptops

Today when I walked into my economics class I saw something I dread every time I close my eyes. Someone had brought their new gaming laptop to class. The Forklift he used to bring it was still running idle at the back. I started sweating as I sat down and gazed over at the 700lb beast that was his laptop. He had already reinforced his desk with steel support beams and was in the process of finding an outlet for a power cable thicker than Amy Schumer's thigh. I start shaking. I keep telling myself I'm going to be alright and that there's nothing to worry about. He somehow finds a fucking outlet. Tears are running down my cheeks as I send my last texts to my family saying I love them. The teacher starts the lecture, and the student turns his laptop on. The colored lights on his RGB Backlit keyboard flare to life like a nuclear flash, and a deep humming fills my ears and shakes my very soul. The entire city power grid goes dark. The classroom begins to shake as the massive fans begin to spin. In mere seconds my world has gone from vibrant life, to a dark, earth shattering void where my body is getting torn apart by the 150mph gale force winds and the 500 decibel groan of the cooling fans. As my body finally surrenders, I weep, as my school and my city go under. I fucking hate gaming laptops.
December 2020

Navy Seal

What the fuck did you just fucking say about me, you little bitch? I'll have you know I graduated top of my class in the Navy Seals, and I've been involved in numerous secret raids on Al-Quaeda, and I have over 300 confirmed kills. I am trained in gorilla warfare and I'm the top sniper in the entire US armed forces. You are nothing to me but just another target. I will wipe you the fuck out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my fucking words. You think you can get away with saying that shit to me over the Internet? Think again, fucker. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of spies across the USA and your IP is being traced right now so you better prepare for the storm, maggot. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your life. You're fucking dead, kid. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can kill you in over seven hundred ways, and that's just with my bare hands. Not only am I extensively trained in unarmed combat, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the United States Marine Corps and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable ass off the face of the continent, you little shit. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little "clever" comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your fucking tongue. But you couldn't, you didn't, and now you're paying the price, you goddamn idiot. I will shit fury all over you and you will drown in it. You're fucking dead, kiddo.
April 2019

Classic

Navy Seal

I'm already Tracer

twitchquotes: โ“ Maybe Iโ€™ll be Tracer ๐Ÿ˜›๐Ÿ’จ๐Ÿ•ฐ๏ธ โ— Iโ€™m already Tracer ๐Ÿณ๏ธโ€๐ŸŒˆ๐Ÿ‘ฉโ€โค๏ธโ€๐Ÿ’‹โ€๐Ÿ‘ฉ โ” What about Widowmaker ๐Ÿ’œ๐Ÿ•ท๏ธ โ• Iโ€™m already Widowmaker ๐Ÿ•ธ๏ธ ๐Ÿ‘Œ๐Ÿฟ๐Ÿ’ฏIโ€™ll be Bastion ๐Ÿค– ๐Ÿšซ Nอ˜อžEอžอ Rฬทอ˜FอŸ อžอ BASอžฬขTฬงอขIOฬขNอŸา‰า‰ โšฐ๏ธ ๐Ÿคท Youโ€™re right; so, Winston ๐Ÿต๐Ÿ‘๐Ÿฟ ๐ŸŒ I wanna be Winston ๐Ÿฆ ๐Ÿ—ก๏ธ I guess Iโ€™ll be Genji ๐Ÿฑโ€๐Ÿ‘ค ๐Ÿ˜ Iโ€™m already Genji ๐Ÿ‘ค ๐Ÿ’€ Then Iโ€™ll be McCree ๐Ÿค ๐Ÿ‘Œ ๐Ÿ”ซ I already chose McCree ๐Ÿ•›โ˜ ๏ธ โœ‹ I have an idea ๐Ÿ™‹ โ“ Whatโ€™s your idea? ๐Ÿค” ๐Ÿ™Œ You should beโ€” ๐Ÿ˜‡๐Ÿฆถ ๐Ÿ™… Iโ€™m not gonna be Mercy โ€ผ๏ธโœจ
twitch chat
November 2018

Emoji Pasta

Overwatch

Right in the face

twitch chat
July 2014
Reynad
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