[Copypasta] Twitch Chat is the most elusive substance known to man

twitchquotes: 420/69 scientists agree that Twitch Chat is the most elusive substance known to man. The All-Knowing Twitch Chat flows through the very fabric of space and time. Twitch Chat is very unpredictable. What will Twitch Chat copy/pasta next? Nobody knows. Maybe the elusive Twitch Chat will copy/pasta this very message. Just remember, Twitch Chat knows all, and Twitch Chat is always right.
twitch chat
May 2017
I used to be a real ad
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Foreign volunteers in Ukraine (variation of original chicken nuggets copypasta)

Holy shit. My commanding officer came into my barracks to bring me an MRE and I literally screamed at her and hit the plate of rations out of her hand. She started yelling and swearing at me in Ukrainian which I didn't understand and I slammed the door on her. I'm so distressed right now I don't know what to do. I didn't mean to do that to my superior officer but I'm literally in shock from the cruise missile strike. I feel like I'm going to explode. Why the fucking fuck is Zelenskyy losing? This can't be happening. I'm having a fucking breakdown. I don't want to believe the world is so corrupt that nato won't impose a no fly zone. I want a future to believe in. I want Zelenskyy to be president of a united Ukraine and fix this broken country. I cannot fucking deal with this right now. It wasn't supposed to be like this, I thought we had anti air coverage in western Ukraine???? This is so fucked.
March 2022

Russian Ukrainian War

Sadge brother letter

twitchquotes: ๐Ÿ“œ โœ๏ธ Sadge ๐“œ๐”‚ ๐“ญ๐“ฎ๐“ช๐“ป๐“ฎ๐“ผ๐“ฝ ๐“ซ๐“ป๐“ธ๐“ฝ๐“ฑ๐“ฎ๐“ป, ๐“˜ ๐”€๐“ป๐“ฒ๐“ฝ๐“ฎ ๐”‚๐“ธ๐“พ ๐“ฒ๐“ท ๐“ญ๐“ฎ๐“ฎ๐“น ๐“ถ๐“ฎ๐“ต๐“ช๐“ท๐“ฌ๐“ฑ๐“ธ๐“ต๐”‚. ๐“˜๐“ฝ ๐“ช๐“น๐“น๐“ฎ๐“ช๐“ป๐“ผ ๐“ฝ๐“ธ ๐“ถ๐“ฎ ๐“ฝ๐“ฑ๐“ช๐“ฝ ๐“ฝ๐“ฑ๐“ฎ๐“ป๐“ฎ ๐“ฒ๐“ผ๐“ท'๐“ฝ ๐“ช๐“ท๐”‚ ๐“ฌ๐“ธ๐“ฌ๐“ด ๐“ต๐“ฎ๐“ฏ๐“ฝ
twitch chat
August 2020
Forsen

She sells seashells on a seashore, but the value of these shells will fall

She sells seashells on a seashore But the value of these shells will fall Due to the laws of supply and demand No one wants to buy shells 'cause there's loads on the sand Step 1: you must create a sense of scarcity Shells will sell much better if the people think they're rare, you see Bare with me, take as many shells as you can find and hide 'em on an island stockpile 'em high until they're rarer than a diamond Step 2: you gotta make the people think that they want 'em Really want 'em, really fuckin want 'em Hit 'em like Bronson Influencers, product placement, featured prime time entertainment If you haven't got a shell then you're just a fucking waste man Three: it's monopoly, invest inside some property, start a corporation, make a logo, do it properly ""Shells must sell"", that will be your new philosophy Swallow all your morals they're a poor man's quality Four: expand, expand, expand, clear forest, make land, fresh blood on hand Five: why just shells? Why limit your self? She sells seashells, sell oil as well! Six: guns, sell stocks, sell diamonds, sell rocks, sell water to a fish, sell the time to a clock Seven: press on the gas, take your foot off the brakes, Run to be the president of the United States Eight: big smile mate, big wave that's great Now the truth is overrated, tell lies out the gate Nine: Polarize the people, controversy is the game It don't matter if they hate you if they all say your name Ten: the world is yours, step out on a stage to a round of applause You're a liar, a cheat, a devil, a whore And you sell seashells on the seashore.
August 2021

Imagine getting BOO'd by Aurateur

twitchquotes: Imagine getting BOO'd by Aurateur. Literally instantly you get disintegrated. Before you can even react, every fiber of your being is atomized and lost to a mere button press. Every memorable moment of your life and all hope of a future is wasted in this brief moment a BALD Texan disliked your level. In a flash your existence is nothing but a poof. Thereafter, the BALD Texan continues on, swiftly forgetting of your existence, you having been nothing but an obstacle in his way.
twitch chat
July 2020
Aurateur

What's it like playing against Patron

twitchquotes: Sometimes when I see my opponent drop that Warsong Commander, I quickly turn my volume up to max, let go of my mouse, lean back in my chair and close my eyes. I let the sounds of whirling blades and orc and dwarf voices engulf me and dive into a dream-like state where only I exist, floating through space with a sweet warmth in my belly. It's almost therapeutic.
twitch chat
October 2015
Kolento

Hearthstone

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