[Copypasta] Your only friend is Twitch Chat

twitchquotes: FeelsBadMan THAT MOMENT FeelsBadMan WHEN YOU REALIZE FeelsBadMan THAT YOUR ONLY FRIEND FeelsBadMan IS TWITCH CHAT FeelsBadMan
twitch chat
March 2017
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas

Kripp invites Hotform to a friendly Fireside duel

twitchquotes: Hotform sees another invite to a friendly Fireside duel from Kripp and wants to move into fetal curl, but his hand is chained to the heater. Rania steps next to his laptop, putting dry bread and tap water down. β€œCome, Hotform, it is only 3 more hours today. You can even have some lettuce for dinner.” His eyes tear up while he accepts the invite and mulligans his hand, but then he sees Kripp’s first minion: Lucentbark. β€œNo, nononono, please, please! Kill me! Just kill me! CHAT! CHAT HELP ME!”
twitch chat
August 2019
Kripp

Hearthstone

Salt can

β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–„β–„β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–„ β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–„β–„β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–„ β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–„β–„β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆ β–’β–’β–’β–„β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–€β–€β–€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–Œβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–€β–€β–€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆ β–’β–’β–β–€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–Œβ–€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–Œβ–€β–β–ˆβ–Œβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–Œβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–Œ β–’β–’β–ˆβ–’β–’β–€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–€β–€β–β–ˆβ–β–ˆβ–Œβ–ˆβ–Œβ–€β–€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–Œβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆ β–’β–’β–ˆβ–’β–’β–’β–’β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–Œ β–’β–’β–’β–Œβ–’β–’β–’β–’β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–€ β–’β–’β–’β–€β–„β–“β–“β–“β–’β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–€β–€ β–’β–’β–’β–’β–€β–‘β–“β–“β–’β–β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–€β–€β–’ β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–‘β–‘β–’β–’β–β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–€β–€β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’ β–’β–’β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–€β–€β–€β–€β–€β–€β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’ β–’β–’β–’β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’
November 2014

Drama Popcorn

β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β’€β£€β£€β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β € β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β£ β£Ύβ Ÿβ ›β ›β »β£¦β£ β£€β£€β£€β‘€β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β € ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⒀⣿⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠹⠋⠁⠀⠙⣿⠢⣢⣀⣀⣀⣄⑀⠀⠀⠀ β €β €β €β €β €β €β£΄β‘Ύβ Ώβ €β’ β£Άβ Ÿβ »β’·β£„β €β €β €β €β €β €β ›β β €β ™β£·β‘€β €β € β €β €β €β €β €β£Έβ£Ÿβ €β €β’€β£Ώβ£‡β €β €β €β’Ώβ Ÿβ ›β’·β‘„β €β €β €β €β €β£€β£Ώβ ƒβ €β € β €β €β €β’ β‘Ύβ ›β ‹β €β’°β‘Ÿβ ‰β’»β£·β£€β£€β €β €β €β’Έβ‘Ώβ Ÿβ ›β’·β‘„β €β €β’Ήβ‘‡β €β € β €β €β €β Έβ£§β£„β‘€β €β ˆβ €β €β ˆβ ‰β ‰β’Ώβ‘†β €β €β €β €β €β €β ˜β Ÿβ €β£€β£Ύβ ‡β €β € ⠀⠀⠀Ⓒ⣿⑻Ⓙ⣷⣦⣀⣀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⣀⣢⣿⠿⣿⑷⠀⠀ β €β €β €β €β£Ώβ£‡β €β ˆβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Άβ£€β£„β‘€β£€β£€β£΄β£Ύβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ‘β €β’°β£Ώβ ‡β €β € β €β €β €β €β’Ήβ£Ώβ‘€β €β’Ήβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ ™β »β’Ώβ£Ώβ‘Ώβ Ÿβ ‹β’Ήβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ €β €β£Όβ£Ώβ €β €β € β €β €β €β €β ˆβ£Ώβ‘‡β €β ˜β£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ €β €β €β£Ώβ‘‡β €β €β£Ύβ£Ώβ£Ώβ‘β €β’ β£Ώβ‘‡β €β €β € ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀Ⓓ⣿⠀⠀Ⓙ⣿⣿⑆⠀⠀⣿⑇⠀⠀⣿⣿⣿⠃⠀⣼⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀ β €β €β €β €β €β ˜β£Ώβ‘‡β €β’Έβ£Ώβ£Ώβ‘‡β €β €β£Ώβ‘‡β €β €β£Ώβ£Ώβ‘Ώβ €β’€β£Ώβ‘‡β €β €β €β € ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣠⣿⣿⣀⣀⣿⣿⑇⠀⠀⣿⑇⠀⒰⣿⣿⑇⠀⣸⣿⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀ β €β €β €β’€β£Ύβ ‹β €β €β ˆβ£»β‘Ώβ Ώβ’·β£¦β‘€β£Ώβ‘‡β €β’Έβ£Ώβ£Ώβ €β’€β£Ώβ‘β €β €β €β €β € β €β €β €β£Όβ‘Ώβ „β €β €β’°β‘Ÿβ β €β €β’Ήβ£·β£Ώβ‘‡β €β’Έβ£Ώβ‘β’€β£Έβ£Ώβ β €β €β €β €β € β €β €β£Όβ‘β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β Έβ£Ώβ£Ώβ‘‡β €β£Ύβ£Ώβ£Ώβ‘Ώβ Ÿβ ‹β €β €β €β €β €β € β €β €β Έβ£·β£„β£€β£ β£΄β£·β €β €β €β €β €β €β’»β£·β‘Ώβ Ÿβ ‹β β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β € ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠉⠉⠉⠁⠻⠷⠢Ⓙ⣦⣀⣴⑿⠃⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β ‰β ‰β ‰β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €
April 2022

I want to bang Timmy Nook from Animal Crossing

Holy fucking shit. I want to bang Timmy Nook from Animal Crossing so goddamn bad. I can't stand it anymore. Every time I go to Nook’s Cranny I get a massive erection. I've seen literally every rule 34 post there is of him online. My dreams are nothing but constant fucking sex with Timmy Nook. I'm sick of waking up every morning with six nuts in my boxers and knowing that those are nuts that should've been busted inside of Timmy Nook’s tight tanuki asshole. I want him to have my mutant human/tanuki babies. Fuck, my fucking mom caught me with a raccoon I found in the trash. I'd dressed him in my dad’s Hawaiian shirt and went to fucking town. She hasn't said a word to me in 10 hours and I'm worried she's gonna take away my Nintendo Switch. I might not ever get to see Timmy Nook again.
July 2021

Kripp saved my marriage

twitchquotes: I was going through a rough time in my marriage where nothing seemed to arouse me anymore. Things had gone stale between me and my wife in bed and divorce seemed inevitable. But then I discovered Kripp's stream and everything changed. There's just something about that vegan bald head that does something to me, and before I knew it my libido was back. I now go at it with my wife at the sounds of "Fuck!" and "Topdeck Flamestrike!" to boost my vigor. Thank you Kripp for saving my marriage.
twitch chat
November 2019
Kripp

Hearthstone

Text-to-Speech Playing