[Copypasta] Nerf MEGA Mastodon blaster ad

twitchquotes: NerfRedBlaster Dominate Nerf blaster battles with the first-ever motorized Nerf MEGA blaster! NerfBlueBlaster The Nerf MEGA Mastodon blaster boasts incredible rapid-fire speeds to send MEGA Whistler darts screaming through the air from its integrated 24-dart drum. NerfRedBlaster Bring the MEGA Mastodon blaster into action to overwhelm opponents with its imposing size. NerfBlueBlaster Use the shoulder strap for easy maneuvering to be ready for Nerf battles anytime, anywhere. NerfRedBlaster
twitch chat
February 2017
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas

So as joke, I fucked my friend in a Joseph Stalin cosplay

So as a joke, I went to my friend's house wearing Joseph Stalin's mustache and clothes. I could barely stop my laughter as he went as red as the Soviet flag and looked at me from head to toe with a bit of drool in his mouth. The way he stared made made feel a bit funny too, but I decided to tease him more by taking off my clothes. He asked me, "Are you serious?" and I said "Yes,comrade." He went silent for what seemed like forever, so I asked him, "What's the matter,comrade?" He said he's confused, but then his boner got really hard, which made me take off his clothes. I expected him to scream, "Stop!" as I kissed him and stroked his cock, but he instead shouted "Not a step back!" which made me get a boner myself. Before I knew it, I was blowing him for the first time till he came. His semen was so thick, it got stuck inside my throat no matter how hard I swallowed. He then said, "I want to fuck you now!" and seeing that we've already gone that far and we were both naked, I obliged. A few hours later, the jerk went all pale and said to me "Why did we do that? Now I'm not fucking straight." But he still looked so cute all confused like that, so I took pity on him and reassured while wiping his cum off my face, "Let's just pretend I'ms till Joseph Stalin."
September 2021

NSFW

Joker

⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣽⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢦⠙⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⢯⣽⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢃⠛⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⢧⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡕⠂⠈⢻⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⡅⣻⡿⢿⣿⣿⣿⡿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠟⠿⢿⣿⡇⠀⠀⠈⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⠀⠀⠀⠘⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⠀⠀⠀⣹⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⣿⡿⠿⠛⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠟⠁⠈⠀⠉⠻⡆⠀⠀⠀⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣯⠄⠂⠀⠀⣿⡋⠀⢀⠀⠀⠀⠉⣿⣿⡀⠀⠀⠘⠓⣠⣶⣿⡀⠀⠀⠘⣿⣿ ⣿⣫⡆⠀⠀⢀⣿⣷⣶⣄⠀⢀⣤⣴⣿⣿⣿⣶⣄⠀⣴⣿⣿⣿⠁⠀⠀⠀⠘⣿ ⣿⣿⠁⠀⠀⡤⠙⢿⣿⣿⣷⣾⣿⡿⣿⣿⢿⠿⣿⣧⣿⣿⡿⢣⠀⠀⠀⠀⢠⣿ ⣷⣌⠈⠀⠀⠀⠀⣆⠈⡉⢹⣿⣿⣆⡀⠀⠀⢠⣿⣿⣿⡿⢃⣼⠀⠀⠀⠀⣸⣿ ⣿⣿⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠙⢿⣿⣆⠈⠛⠛⠛⠀⠀⠈⠉⠁⠀⢠⣿⠇⠀⠀⠀⠹⢿⡇ ⣿⡫⠀⠀⠁⠀⠀⠀⠈⠻⣿⢢⣄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⣠⣾⡾⠋⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⠴⠋ ⣿⣁⠄⠀⠀⠀⣀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠛⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⡿⠋⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⠬⠆⢀ ⣿⣿⣧⣄⠀⠀⠉⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠁⠠⠙
September 2019

Daga Kotowaru (I refuse)

⣼⠀⠀⢻⠿⡿⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⢿⣿⣿⣟⣒⠶⠿⢿⣷⣷⣦⣟⣻⡿⠿⣷⣶⣭ ⠻⣄⢀⡤⠤⠴⠛⢦⣩⡭⠗⢺⡿⠯⠽⢿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣶⣤⣽⣟⣻⣿⣷⣶⣶⣦ ⠀⠹⣾⠁⣀⠀⠀⣊⠁⠀⠀⠀⠙⢦⣀⣤⠴⠛⠉⢿⡓⠶⣯⣭⣹⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⠀⠀⣿⡟⢹⢠⡞⣡⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣴⠆⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣻⡋⠁⠀⠙⠻⣭⣟⡒⡲ ⠀⠀⣿⠶⠾⡟⣆⢰⡄⠀⣠⠔⠋⠁⡗⠀⢀⣠⠴⠚⣉⡳⠄⠀⣠⣾⠿⠈⠙⢓ ⠀⣰⣿⠁⢀⣙⢮⡳⣥⠞⠁⠘⠄⠀⣧⣶⣋⣥⢶⣻⡭⠿⣗⣴⡋⣟⣆⣠⠾⠋ ⠀⣧⣿⠼⣿⠛⢷⣿⣾⡇⠀⢠⡏⢉⣉⣥⣖⣋⠛⠦⢤⣀⠀⠀⡽⠸⣏⡀⢠⠋ ⠀⢳⣾⠀⠈⢩⢹⣿⡿⠁⠀⠁⠸⣄⠘⢯⣉⣉⣯⣿⣳⣮⠀⠘⣇⣠⡬⣺⣏⢣ ⠀⠈⣿⠀⠐⠀⢀⡿⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠘⠊⠓⠄⡉⢩⣭⠿⠀⠐⠒⡉⣯⠞⣧⢸⠈ ⣤⠤⣼⡇⠀⠀⡞⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡏⠀⢠⠇⠀⠀⡏⠀⢈⣤⡼ ⢠⠞⢉⣧⠀⠀⣇⠤⣦⣄⡆⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡸⠁⡐⠛⠂⠀⢀⡟⣀⡾⠋⠁ ⠏⢠⡞⣿⢠⣶⣞⢷⠾⠋⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡠⢁⡜⠀⠀⠀⣔⣫⣾⡿⣧⠀⠀ ⢀⡟⠀⢻⣠⣿⡾⣭⣽⣦⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⡼⢡⠏⠀⠀⠀⢸⣧⡾⠋⠀⢼⡇⠀ ⢸⠁⠀⢸⡏⢣⣝⡛⠛⠻⠧⠀⠀⠀⢀⠚⠀⠋⠀⠀⠀⣠⣿⢻⢳⢆⢀⣼⡇⠀ ⠸⡇⠀⠸⡇⠈⠌⠉⠙⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠍⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣴⠏⢿⣾⣿⣰⣿⠎⣿⠦ ⠀⢹⡄⠀⣿⢐⣀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠠⠆⣀⣠⠴⠖⠛⠉⠀⠀⢀⣤⢞⣵⠃⠀⠹⣇ ⢣⡀⠙⢦⡈⠓⠮⢤⣤⣤⣤⡶⠞⠛⠉⠀⠀⠀⣀⣠⡤⠞⠋⡤⠜⠃⠀⠀⠤⠛
January 2021

JoJo's Bizarre Adventure

You think this takes concentration?

twitchquotes: You think this takes concentration? Try healing in World of Warcraft after someone in the group just feared the entire room and the stupid death knight has stolen all the aggro from the tank, all whilst trying to reach deep into the bag for the extra cheesy dorritos. Now THAT is a skill.
twitch chat
March 2015
Kripp

What could possibly be that washed up?

twitchquotes: Hey QT, my family just got back from Hawaii. We noticed this obese life form washed up on shore. We walked over to see what could possibly be that washed up. My brother poked it with a stick and it twitched and said "wow that actually fuckin killed me" wonder what it could be?
twitch chat
June 2019
imaqtpie

Classic

League of Legends

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