[Copypasta] Impossible to be happy and sad at the same time

twitchquotes: haHAA they say it's impossible to be happy & sad at the same time haHAA My wife told me i have the biggest d*ck out of all my brothers haHAA
twitch chat
October 2016
What happened to this ad? :(
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mattress/furniture stores exist in a quantum superposition

I'm convinced that mattress/furniture stores exist in a quantum superposition of grand opening and going out of business sale. It is both and neither at once until an observer records the state at which point it becomes one or the other. But because you know exactly where the store is located, you cannot know how fast it is going out of business because of your uncertainty about its business momentum. All around us, all the time pairs of anti-discount mattress stores and discount mattress stores are popping into existence, forming the quantum memory foam that is the basis for the universe. Without the pressure of this quantum memory foam strip malls would collapse. We can see evidence of this when a pair is created such that one half is within the sales radius of a supermassive furniture store like Ikea-- one of them is pulled in and the other escapes as a Hawking mattress store.
December 2020

Hey Chat Who Cares?

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣠⣤⣴⣶⣶⣶⣶⣶⠶⣶⣤⣤⣀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣤⣾⣿⣿⣿⠁⠀⢀⠈⢿⢀⣀⠀⠹⣿⣿⣿⣦⣄⠀⠀⠀ HEY⠀⠀⠀⣴⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠀⠀⣟⡇⢘⣾⣽⠀⠀⡏⠉⠙⢛⣿⣷⡖⠀ CHAT⠀⠀⣾⣿⣿⡿⠿⠷⠶⠤⠙⠒⠀⠒⢻⣿⣿⡷⠋⠀⠴⠞⠋⠁⢙⣿⣄ WHO⠀⠀⢸⣿⣿⣯⣤⣤⣤⣤⣤⡄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠉⢹⡄⠀⠀⠀⠛⠛⠋⠉⠹⡇ CARES⢸⣿⣿⠀⠀⠀⣀⣠⣤⣤⣤⣤⣤⣤⣤⣼⣇⣀⣀⣀⣛⣛⣒⣲⢾⡷ ⢀⠤⠒⠒⢼⣿⣿⠶⠞⢻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠁⠀⣼⠃ ⢮⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⣿⣆⠀⠀⠻⣿⡿⠛⠉⠉⠁⠀⠉⠉⠛⠿⣿⣿⠟⠁⠀⣼⠃⠀ ⠈⠓⠶⣶⣾⣿⣿⣿⣧⡀⠀⠈⠒⢤⣀⣀⡀⠀⠀⣀⣀⡠⠚⠁⠀⢀⡼⠃⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠈⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣤⣤⣤⣤⣭⣭⣭⣭⣭⣥⣤⣤⣤⣴⣟⠁
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September 2020

Buddha

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⠤⠒⠒⠢⢄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⡯⠴⠶⠶⠒⠢⢇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡎⡤⠖⠂⡀⠒⡢⡌⢣⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣷⠯⢭⣵⠑⣯⡭⢹⡎⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢻⡆⠀⢠⣤⠄⠀⣸⠇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠸⣷⢄⣈⣟⢁⢴⠿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⢴⠒⡝⠁⠬⠛⣚⡩⠔⠉⢻⠒⣦⢄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⢎⠁⡌⢰⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⠀⡛⠀⡷⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⣾⣷⣠⠃⢸⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣸⠀⢹⢰⠁⢳⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⡿⠟⢿⢳⡏⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢠⡟⣶⣘⢞⡀⠘⡆⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⡼⢺⣯⢹⢰⡏⠒⠒⠒⠊⠀⠐⢒⣾⣹⣸⢹⣾⡇⠀⢣⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⣏⣾⠃⠀⣼⡟⣢⣀⡠⠤⣀⡰⢋⡝⣱⣹⠇⣿⣧⣴⠸⡄⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⡏⡞⡆⢠⡇⣟⠭⡒⠭⠭⠤⠒⣡⠔⣽⡇⣂⣿⠟⠃⢀⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⢧⡇⡧⢫⠃⣷⣽⣒⣍⣉⣈⡩⢴⠾⡳⢡⢸⣛⣪⡗⢴⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⣼⢃⠷⣸⣤⣯⢞⡥⢍⣐⣂⠨⠅⠊⡠⢃⣟⢏⠹⣎⣆⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⡠⠶⠚⠛⠛⠽⢹⡟⡖⢓⠿⣝⠓⠒⠒⠒⠭⢤⠗⣯⣩⣽⣿⠷⣾⣿⢷⣆⠀ ⠜⣌⠢⢄⣀⡀⠀⡞⢡⠘⢄⠑⠨⢉⣀⠉⣀⠄⢊⠜⡸⠛⣿⡍⠉⠉⠈⢁⠁⠇ ⠈⢯⡓⠦⠤⠬⠭⣵⠀⠱⢄⠑⠲⠤⠤⠤⠤⠒⢁⡔⠁⢠⣏⣡⣤⣤⡶⠜⣻⠃ ⠀⠈⠙⠛⠒⠛⠻⠯⠕⠤⣀⣉⣓⣒⣂⣒⣒⣊⣁⣠⠔⠛⠂⠒⠛⠓⠛⠚⠉⠀
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January 2021

Shaggy Doo

░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░▄▄█▀▀██▄▄░░░░░░░ ░░░░░░░░░░░░░▄█▀▀░░░░░░░▀█░░░░░░ ░░░░░░░░░░░▄▀░░░░░░░░░░░░░█░░░░░ ░░░░░░░░░▄█░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░█░░░░░ ░░░░░░░██▀░░░░░░░▄▄▄░░▄░█▄█▄░░░░ ░░░░░▄▀░░░░░░░░░░████░█▄██░▀▄░░░ ░░░░█▀░░░░░░░░▄▄██▀░░█████░██░░░ ░░░█▀░░░░░░░░░▀█░▀█▀█▀▀▄██▄█▀░░░ ░░░██░░░░░░░░░░█░░█░█░░▀▀▄█▀░░░░ ░░░░█░░░░░█░░░▀█░░░░▄░░░░░▄█░░░░ ░░░░▀█░░░░███▄░█░░░░░░▄▄▄▄█▀█▄░░ ░░░░░▀██░░█▄▀▀██░░░░░░░░▄▄█░░▀▄░ ░░░░░░▀▀█▄░▀▄▄░▄░░░░░░░███▀░░▄██ ░░░░░░░░░▀▀▀███▀█▄░░░░░█▀░▀░░░▀█ ░░░░░░░░░░░░▄▀░░░▀█▄░░░░░▄▄░░▄█▀ ░░░▄▄▄▀▀▀▀▀█▀░░░░░█▄▀▄▄▄▄▄▄█▀▀░░ ░▄█░░░▄██▀░░░░░░░░░█▄░░░░░░░░░░░ █▀▀░▄█░░░░░░░░░░░░░░▀▀█▄░░░░░░░░ █░░░█░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░█▄░░░░░░░
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September 2021

Fancy crown

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠠⣾⣿⡤⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣀⣠⣤⣄⣰⣿⣿⣧⣀⣄⣤⣀⣀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⣀⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣆⣀⣀⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣠⣞⣿⣿⢿⣿⣿⠁⠀⠀⠀⢸⣿⣿⣿⠁⠀⠀⠀⢹⣿⣿⣿⣯⣟⣶⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢠⣿⣿⠋⢸⣿⣿⣿⣆⠀⠀⠀⢸⣿⣿⣿⠆⠀⠀⢀⣼⣿⣿⣿⠀⢹⣿⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢻⣿⣣⡀⠻⢿⣿⣿⣤⣠⣤⣴⣾⣿⣷⣄⣤⣠⣬⣿⣿⡿⠇⣠⣾⣾⠟⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠚⠛⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣽⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣯⣿⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠛⠃⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠛⣿⠿⠿⣻⣟⡛⢻⡛⢫⣽⡛⣿⡛⣻⣷⡻⣿⣿⡾⠋⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠰⣿⣸⣯⣿⡿⠷⠾⠷⠾⠿⠶⠾⠶⠿⢿⣿⣿⣺⡷⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠛⠉⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠉⠃⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⢀⣀⣀⣀⠀⠀⣴⠛⣻⣇⠀⠀⣠⣤⣄⠀⣠⣴⡶⠛⠛⠓⢶⣄⠀⣠⡶⠛⠛⠳⢶⣦⣀⠀⣤⣤⣄⠀⠀⣾⣛⠻⣆⠀⠀⣀⣀⣀⠀ ⠀⠈⠈⠈⠙⣇⠀⠹⣦⠻⠟⠀⠘⣯⣿⣿⠾⣹⣏⣤⡀⣠⢤⣤⣹⣾⢯⣤⣤⣄⢀⣤⣻⡟⢷⣿⣯⣽⠀⠀⠻⢟⣼⠇⠀⡼⠋⠉⠁⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠙⣦⣄⣈⣛⣛⣛⣿⡿⣿⣽⣷⣿⠿⢟⡇⣿⣈⣉⣱⣿⣌⣋⣁⡿⣾⡿⠿⣿⣾⡮⣿⣿⣟⣛⣛⣋⣁⣤⡾⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠙⠛⠛⠛⠛⠉⠀⠙⠒⠛⠙⠛⠛⠁⠈⠉⠉⠁⠀⠈⠉⠉⠀⠈⠛⠛⠃⠛⠲⠋⠈⠙⠛⠛⠛⠛⠁⠀
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June 2021
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