[Copypasta] Impossible to be happy and sad at the same time

twitchquotes: haHAA they say it's impossible to be happy & sad at the same time haHAA My wife told me i have the biggest d*ck out of all my brothers haHAA
twitch chat
October 2016
What happened to this ad? :(
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An automated message from Blizzard Entertainment to Athene

twitchquotes: Greetings, AtheneLIVE! This is an automated message from Blizzardā„¢ Entertainment. You are receiving this message because our Hearthstoneā„¢ AI has flagged your account due to an unusual number of ranked game losses. We recommend that you use the "Suggested Card" feature before progressing any further. Thanks - The Blizzardā„¢ Team.
twitch chat
July 2014
AtheneLIVE

Hey, I noticed you were a female

Hello, I noticed you have a profile picture of a very beautiful (but also intelligent looking!) female, and I am under the presumption that this goddess is you? It is quite astonishing to see a female here in the Pakistan Official discord. I am quite popular around here in this server, so if you require guidance, please throw me a mention. I will assist you at any hour, day or night. And, before you are mistaken, I do not seek your hand in a romantic way; although I am not opposed in the event you are interested in me, as many women often are. I am a man of standard, and I do not bow to just any female that comes my way, unlike my peers... So rest assured that I will not be in the way of your gaming and socializing experience. Consider me a Player 2.. a companion, a partner, and perhaps we can enjoy some video games together some time. I see you play mini games? I am a mini-game aficionado, so I would be happy to assist you in games. Platonically of course, unless you (like many others) change your mind on that. I look forward to our future together (as friends of course.)
May 2021

Simps

Stream snipers

twitchquotes: One day, the Papa asks Kripp to go fishing, Kripp shrugs, ā€œAlright, but catch and release only ā€“ Iā€™m vegan.ā€ They arrive at the local pristine clear waters of an Ontario stream brimming with wild trout and prepare to fish. Suddenly Kripp shouts, ā€œGet down!ā€. A crack sounds through the air, and the Papa sees Kripp on the ground bleeding. His final words are, ā€œFucking stream snipers.ā€
twitch chat
May 2016
Kripp

Hearthstone

Oh I'm sorry snowflake, did I OFFEND you?

Oh I'm sorry snowflake, did I OFFEND you? Do you want a bandaid? Do you want a hug? Do you want a kiss? I will kiss you. I will do it. Right on the mouth. Come here snowflake.. that's it.. your lips are so soft, snowflake.. mnnhm... ah...... snowflake..........
January 2022

Politics

Sleeping naked is a power move anyways

Sleeping naked is a power move anyways. ā€¢ ā Burglar breaks in boom Iā€™m up and naked. Heā€™s too distracted trying to determine if Iā€™m a man or woman because of my massive bush to notice me reaching for my glock fawty. ā ā€¢ ā When I pee or poop in my sleep from the nightmares I donā€™t get any clothes dirty just the sheets. ā€¢ ā Save money on not having to run an AC in the summer time so I can buy my wife more lingerie for her boyfriend to appreciate.
August 2021
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