[Copypasta] Impossible to be happy and sad at the same time

twitchquotes: haHAA they say it's impossible to be happy & sad at the same time haHAA My wife told me i have the biggest d*ck out of all my brothers haHAA
twitch chat
October 2016
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Having to call a judge โ€œyour honorโ€ is so cringey (found on /r/unpopularopinion)

โ€œYour Honorโ€. I mean gimmie a fuckinโ€™ break, dude. What else do you want me to call you? Your highness? Do you want me to fondle your nuts while I blow you, too? Iโ€™ve seriously seen courtrooms where theyโ€™ll say โ€œSirโ€ and the judge will be like โ€œItโ€™s โ€œYour Honorโ€ young man!!โ€ Fuck off. How much of an egotist you gotta be to care about some medieval-ass title? Use โ€œSirโ€ like everybody else. Itโ€™s some LARPING Iโ€™d expect kids to do. โ€œOh Billy you have to call me supreme ruler snorlax the magical wizard!!1!โ€ Shut up. EDIT: Iโ€™m literally 22 and have never been in front of a judge, yโ€™all, please relax and slow down with the theory crafting/ story writing. EDIT 2: A lot of people are saying โ€œitโ€™s just a title, like Doctor!โ€. Judges have a title like โ€œDoctorโ€, itโ€™s called โ€œJudgeโ€ - Doctors donโ€™t expect us to call them โ€œThy Healerโ€ or some crap like that.
August 2021

Did you ever hear the tragedy of Darth Plagueis The Wise?

twitchquotes: Did you ever hear the tragedy of Darth Plagueis The Wise? I thought not. Itโ€™s not a story the Jedi would tell you. Itโ€™s a Sith legend. Darth Plagueis was a Dark Lord of the Sith, so powerful and so wise he could use the Force to influence the midichlorians to create lifeโ€ฆ He had such a knowledge of the dark side that he could even keep the ones he cared about from dying. The dark side of the Force is a pathway to many abilities some consider to be unnatural. He became so powerfulโ€ฆ the only thing he was afraid of was losing his power, which eventually, of course, he did. Unfortunately, he taught his apprentice everything he knew, then his apprentice killed him in his sleep. Ironic. He could save others from death, but not himself.
twitch chat
April 2017

Tragedy of Darth Plagueis The Wise

Classic

๐Ÿ†HAPPY SPANKSGIVING๐Ÿ’ฆ

โ€ผ๏ธITS๐Ÿ— SPANKSGIVING ๐Ÿ‚ BITCHESโ€ผ๏ธOn this day ๐Ÿ—“ many years ago ๐Ÿ˜ฎ the SLUTTY ๐Ÿ‘  PILGRIMS ๐ŸŽฉ sailed โ›ต๏ธ across the ASSlantic ๐ŸŒŠ HOEcean in a quest ๐Ÿ‘€to find ๐Ÿ”Ž more ๐Ÿ˜ COCKS ๐Ÿ† to SUCK! ๐Ÿ‘… Together with the ๐Ÿ˜ˆ NAUGHTY ๐Ÿ˜ˆ NATIVES ๐Ÿ‘น, they gathered ๐Ÿ‘ซ around the dinner table ๐Ÿฝ and had ๐ŸŽ‰ our nationโ€™s very 1๏ธโƒฃst GANG BANG! ๐Ÿ‘ฏโ€โ™€๏ธ๐Ÿ‘ฏ๐Ÿ‘ฏโ€โ™‚๏ธ We honor ๐Ÿ™Œ๐Ÿป their ORGY ๐Ÿ˜ฎ every year ๐Ÿ“† by giving THANKS ๐Ÿ™๐Ÿผ to all ๐Ÿฅฐ thatโ€™s important โค๏ธ to us: Family ๐Ÿ‘จโ€๐Ÿ‘ฉโ€๐Ÿ‘งโ€๐Ÿ‘ฆ, Friends ๐Ÿ‘ฌ, Freedom ๐Ÿ‡บ๐Ÿ‡ธ, and DICK! ๐Ÿ†๐ŸŒฝ๐Ÿ‘… So grab your BUNS, ๐ŸžโœŠ๐Ÿ‘‰๐Ÿ‘Œsqueeze those BREASTS, ๐Ÿ—๐Ÿ”ฅ๐Ÿคฒ and shove a cornaCOPIOUS ๐ŸŒฝ๐ŸŒฝ amount of DICK ๐Ÿ† ๐Ÿ˜ฉ into that hungry ๐Ÿ˜ฎ hungry HOLE! ๐Ÿ•ณ๐Ÿ’“๐Ÿ‘… Ladies ๐Ÿ‘ฏโ€โ™€๏ธ, just like your ๐Ÿฆƒ THOTSgiving ๐Ÿฆƒ turkey, itโ€™s time โฐ to throw your legs ๐Ÿคธ๐Ÿผโ€โ™€๏ธin the air ๐Ÿคธ๐Ÿผโ€โ™€๏ธand prepare to get โžก๏ธ STUFFED ๐Ÿ™€! After dinner,๐Ÿดitโ€™s time ๐Ÿ˜ฎ for CUMPKIN PIE!! ๐Ÿฅง Show Daddy ๐Ÿ‘จ๐Ÿฝโ€๐Ÿฆณ how ๐Ÿ™๐Ÿผ thankful ๐Ÿ™๐Ÿผ you are and LICKK ๐Ÿ˜› his WishBONE ๐Ÿฆด until he gets as HARD ๐Ÿ”as PlyMOUTH rock โ›ฐ and shoots ๐Ÿ’ฆ his HOMEADE GRAVY ๐Ÿฅฃ! ๐Ÿ‘… Midnight ๐ŸŒ™ starts ๐Ÿ˜ˆ BLACK โฌ›๏ธ FRIDAY ๐Ÿ› so send ๐Ÿ“ค this to ๐Ÿ”Ÿ THOTS ๐Ÿ’๐Ÿปโ€โ™€๏ธyou are thankful ๐Ÿ™๐Ÿผ for! If you get 0๏ธโƒฃ back, sail ๐Ÿ”™ to England ๐Ÿ–•๐Ÿป๐Ÿคฎ If you get 5๏ธโƒฃ back, youโ€™ll be getting your corn ๐ŸŒฝ CREAMED ๐Ÿ˜‹๐Ÿฅฐ. Get ๐Ÿ”Ÿ back or more, and the ๐Ÿ™€ BIGGEST, ๐Ÿ™€ GIRTHIEST, BLACKโšซ๏ธ FRIDAY ๐Ÿ† COCK ๐Ÿ˜ฑ is CUMMING ๐Ÿ’ฆYOUR WAY AT MIDNIGHT ๐Ÿ™€๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ™€๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ™€๐Ÿ˜
August 2021

Emoji Pasta

Holiday Emoji

Thanksgiving

NSFW

Holiday

I ๐Ÿ‘ bless ๐Ÿ™ the rains ๐ŸŒง down โฌ‡๏ธ in Africa

twitchquotes: I ๐Ÿ‘ bless ๐Ÿ™ the rains ๐ŸŒง down โฌ‡๏ธ in Africa ๐ŸŒI ๐Ÿ‘ bless ๐Ÿ™ the rains โ˜” down โฌ‡๏ธ in Africa ๐ŸŒ(I ๐Ÿ‘ bless ๐Ÿ™ the rain ๐ŸŒง)I ๐Ÿ‘ bless ๐Ÿ™ the rains โ˜”down โฌ‡๏ธ in Africa ๐ŸŒ(I ๐Ÿ‘ bless ๐Ÿ™ the rain ๐ŸŒง)I ๐Ÿ‘ bless ๐Ÿ™ the rains โ˜” down โฌ‡๏ธ in Africa ๐ŸŒI ๐Ÿ‘ bless ๐Ÿ™ the rains ๐ŸŒง down โฌ‡๏ธ in Africa ๐ŸŒ
twitch chat
September 2017

I lied. Again

twitchquotes: Months have passed. Hosty has lost everything. "I wish I never ghosted" says a heavily drunk Hosty as he notices a dark figure behind him."I can give you your life back as long as you do something for me" says Amaz. Hosty knowing what Amaz wants bends over and lets him have his way. Afterwards as he cries on bed, Amaz whispers in his ear "I lied. Again"
twitch chat
February 2015
Tempo Storm
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