[Copypasta] Impossible to be happy and sad at the same time

twitchquotes: haHAA they say it's impossible to be happy & sad at the same time haHAA My wife told me i have the biggest d*ck out of all my brothers haHAA
twitch chat
October 2016
I used to be a real ad
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Obama

โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–„โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–“โ–“โ–„โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’ โ–‘โ–‘โ–โ–ˆโ–Œโ–’โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–€โ–“โ–“โ–Œโ–’โ–’โ–’ โ–‘โ–‘โ–“โ–ˆโ–’โ–’โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–ˆโ–“โ–“โ–’โ–’โ–’ โ–‘โ–‘โ–“โ–ˆโ–’โ–„โ–„โ–“โ–€โ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–ˆโ–„โ–ˆโ–“โ–’โ–’โ–’ โ–‘โ–ˆโ–€โ–‘โ–’โ–’โ–‘โ–€โ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–Œโ–’โ–€โ–€โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–Œโ–’ โ–โ–‘โ–‘โ–Œโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–“โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–„โ–ˆโ–’โ–Œโ–’ โ–‘โ–Œโ–’โ–‘โ–’โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–“โ–„โ–ˆโ–„โ–Œโ–’โ–’โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–’โ–Œโ–’ โ–‘โ–โ–’โ–ˆโ–’โ–’โ–’โ–‘โ–€โ–€โ–โ–โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–ˆโ–“โ–“โ–’โ–’ โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–€โ–“โ–’โ–’โ–‘โ–’โ–‘โ–„โ–“โ–“โ–„โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–’โ–’โ–’ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–โ–„โ–’โ–‘โ–’โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–ˆโ–“โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–Œโ–€โ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–€โ–’โ–’โ–„โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–„โ–’โ–’โ–’ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–โ–‘โ–’โ–ˆโ–„โ–„โ–„โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–€โ–’โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–€โ–€โ–ˆ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–‘โ–’โ–€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–€โ–‘โ–“โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–Œโ–ˆโ–ˆโ– โ–‘โ–„โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–Œโ–„โ–“โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–„โ–„โ–ˆ
ascii art
April 2021

Amogus 700 years in the future

Imagine, 700 years in the future, through some last vestige of the internet kept in an underground server, a notification miraculously appears on your device (which has been preserved in nuclear dust from the 5th world war). One night, an alien working a late shift at the museum of archeology notices the cracked screen suddenly light up, and upon it, one word arises from the battered code: Amogus. They do not know what this word means. They ponder it deeply. They scour the ancient tomes, desperate to understand its mystifying origin. It drives them mad. Is it a primeval cipher? The motto of a bygone civilization? A message from God? Night after night they study it by candlelight. They flip through pages in books so old, the slightest cough would turn the paper to a fine off-white powder. The answer is nowhere to be found. And then they are struck by a revelation: I was not meant to know this word. Its esoteric nature escapes my grasp for a reason. What if its meaning is too enlightening to bear? With this revelation comes anger. Spite. Despair. Why shouldn't I understand it?! What cosmic forces are there at play to keep me from such knowledge?! In a fit of desperate rage, they shatter your device against a wall and exclaim, arms raised to the heavens: "This is literally 1984!" Silence... Their pleas are unanswered. Sadly, in the end, their inability to unlock the word's meaning drives them to suicide. Its secrets are never known. So I ask you this: is it better to die having never understood the true mind-bending nature of Amogus, or to be driven mad by the little spaceman in his blood-red suit? If you knew enlightenment would render you incapable of living on this mortal earth without making daily references to a game of space mafia, would you accept it? With knowledge comes power, but also endless suffering. Choose wisely, and be wary when standing at the edge of that great abyss we call "the Truth," lest you fall too deep.
March 2021

Among Us / Amogus

I want to rearrange your guts

twitchquotes: I want to rearrange your guts. No, not with my throbbing cock, not even in a sexual or physical manner. I want to drink kombucha and properly alkalinized water with you. Long walks at sunset to Whole Foods, we will manifest good energy through plentiful probiotics and good health
twitch chat
February 2019

Not your naked body

We should buy Reddit

We should buy Reddit. Not the stock. The actual company. If we all get together and own 51% then we will own this entire website. We could make the rules, profit from the advertising, and finally get paid for the memes we make. I've even come up with a list of things we could do as new owners: Reddit mods can apply for paid-internships at Reddit. This is much closer to having a real job than what they currently do and would benefit the organization. Your flair is your official title at the company. IE: instead of "CFO" you'll be "PotatoFart" NSFW posts will receive special protections--and if you happen to work in our new skyscraper then NSFW posts are automatically considered SFW. Everyone gets a turn in the corporate jet. Elon becomes a mod. He can also apply to become a paid intern. We have a monthly party on our company yacht: The S.S. VisualMod. Our corporate cafeteria is a dining hall with fast food restaurants along the side--but they're all Wendy's. I think this is a great idea. Keep it high and tight. ๐Ÿ‘–๐Ÿš€๐Ÿ‘–๐Ÿš€๐Ÿ‘–๐Ÿš€
December 2021

WallStreetBets

Reddit

It's seen as a bit of skillfull fun

twitchquotes: When Kripp gets a good topdeck, its seen as a bit of skillful fun. BUT when his opponent topdecks precisely the only card that can beat him, and there's nothing Kripp can do, together with a CRAZY deck that his deck can't win against, hes called lucky?
twitch chat
December 2014
Kripp
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