[Copypasta] Impossible to be happy and sad at the same time

twitchquotes: haHAA they say it's impossible to be happy & sad at the same time haHAA My wife told me i have the biggest d*ck out of all my brothers haHAA
twitch chat
October 2016
I used to be a real ad
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Oh my gourd, I am financially ruined (agricultural futures)

I have lost everything, and I'm not sure how to continue. This summer I invested $17,500 (six months salary and my entire life savings) into ornamental gourd futures, hoping to capitalize on this lucrative emerging industry. After watching a video about Vincent Kosuga and his monopoly on onions, I decided I'd try to do something similar with another vegetable. I did some research and found out many agricultural forecasters expected this year's gourd yield would be far smaller than the past, due to deteriorating soil conditions in central Mexico and a warmer-than-average spring. At first, demand soared around Halloween and prices skyrocketed, but the gourd bubble burst on November 12th. Unfortunately, the coronavirus caused a massive drop-off in demand due to fewer families decorating their tables for thanksgiving, and prices plummeted. I had invested early enough that I thought I would still be fine, but then on the morning of December 2nd, a new email in my inbox caused my stomach to turn into a pretzel. The massive gourd shipment from Argentina, scheduled for early March, had arrived. I was planning on selling off my futures right before this, in February, but this ruined everything. To top it off, the gourds in this shipment were absolutely gargantuan, some topping 4 pounds each, causing the price-per-pound to drop like an anchor into the range of 6 cents per pound. I am ruined.
January 2021

Classic

WallStreetBets

Rank 11 can be tough

twitchquotes: ᴋʀɪᴘᴘ ɪ ᴋɴᴏᴡ ʀᴀɴᴋ 11 ᴄᴀɴ ʙᴇ ᴛᴏᴜɢʜ, sᴛᴀʏ sᴛʀᴏɴɢ ʙʀᴏ. Yᴏᴜʀ ɢᴏᴏᴅ ᴅᴇᴄᴋ sʜᴏᴜʟᴅ ʙᴇ ʙᴇᴀᴛɪɴɢ ᴀʟʟ ᴛʜᴇsᴇ ɢᴜʏs ʙᴜᴛ ᴛʜᴇʏ'ʀᴇ sᴏ ʟᴜᴄᴋʏ! Sᴏᴏɴ ʏᴏᴜ ᴄᴀɴ ɢᴏ ʙᴀᴄᴋ ᴛᴏ ᴀʀᴇɴᴀ ᴡʜᴇʀᴇ ᴛʜᴇ ᴄᴀsᴜᴀʟs ᴄᴀɴ ᴡɪɴ ɢᴀᴍᴇs. Aʜʜ ʏᴇs... ᴀʀᴇɴᴀ, ᴡʜᴇʀᴇ ᴄᴏɴsᴛʀᴜᴄᴛɪɴɢ ᴀ ᴅᴇᴄᴋ ᴏғ ʏᴏᴜʀ ᴄʜᴏɪᴄᴇ ɪs ɴᴏᴛ ᴀɴ ɪssᴜᴇ.
twitch chat
December 2014
Kripp

Me and you know the real struggle

twitchquotes: Reynaldo, I have consistently around ten viewers, and its so annoying whenever I stream because I constantly get sniped, these plebs wouldn't understand, me and you know the real struggle. I have an 100% win rate when im not streaming and only a 5% when I am, just like you.
twitch chat
December 2014
Reynad

Non golden chillwind yeti is unacceptable

twitchquotes: Reynad my lad, I'm quite saddened to see how drab your hearthstone play has become. Is that a NON GOLDEN CHILLWIND YETI FOR CRYING OUT LOUD? God save your barbarian soul, you filthy peasant... I was raised in an age where CLASS was valued. Im going to kaceytrons stream where i know ill find real quality
twitch chat
March 2014
Reynad
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