[Copypasta] Impossible to be happy and sad at the same time

twitchquotes: haHAA they say it's impossible to be happy & sad at the same time haHAA My wife told me i have the biggest d*ck out of all my brothers haHAA
twitch chat
October 2016
I used to be a real ad
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⚠️WARNING⚠️ cock inspection is NOT required at the vaccination sites!!!! don't be tricked like me!!

So I was waiting in line to receive my vaccine when all of a sudden this medical "official" came up to me and said that there was something wrong with my patient registration and asked me to follow him to the back. When we went around back he said that I had to take off my pants and show my cock because penis size is the most accurate way to confirm patient identity. Because I thought he was a medical official I swiftly removed my pants and underwear to show him my member. After he fondled it for a bit he said it was good and I could go back into the line. It was only after I received the vaccine I realized that he forgot to check my balls too!!! He was obviously not certified to check such an area and I immediately contacted the security guards about his presence. Please do not fall for any tricks like I did! stay safe and happy vaccinating!
August 2021

Coronavirus

COVID

Vaccines

do u think that yoshi gets embarrassed (Shakespearean English)

Dost thou ponder if yoshi's constitution becomes discombobulated whence eggs are excreted afore Mario's gaze? My sincere apologies if thy bristles were tussled, however I believe this to be quite amusing. And, I am curious to perview a charcoal etching of this event, if only for a rousing chuckle. I'm also perplexed whence trying to place what eldritch odor would arise. This is only for a gaff, a ruse, merriment per se, I would like to smell them.
April 2021

Twitch staff Golden Kappa

twitchquotes: ItsBoshyTime Twitch Staff here, one person in this channel will be randomly given golden Kappa in the next few minutes minutes but only if you type Kappa, good luck! ItsBoshyTime
twitch chat
August 2016

My name is Mighticus Totemicus Spamicus

twitchquotes: <:::::[]=Β€β—₯β–ˆΜ†β—€My name is Mighticus Totemicus Spamicus, commander of the Armies of the RNG, General of the β—₯β–ˆΜ†β—€ Legions, loyal servant to the true Shaman Kripparrian. Buff to a β—₯β–ˆΜ†β—€ son, and buff to a β—₯β–ˆΜ†β—€ wife. I will make all totems mighty, whether in this game or the next. <:::::[]=Β€β—₯β–ˆΜ†β—€
twitch chat
February 2015
Kripp

Hearthstone

Kripp found dead

twitch chat
March 2014
Kripp
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