[Copypasta] Only the chosen one can fist both asses

twitchquotes: (‿ˠ‿) _(‿ˠ‿) only the chosen one can fist both asses. ⎝ Kreygasm
twitch chat
June 2016
What happened to this ad? :(
More Copypastas

Stroll in my local GameStop

stroll into my local GameStop looking to pick up a copy of Binding of Isaac grab the game and take it to the charming maiden at the register "Pardon me, milady...but could you ring me up? A shame I don't have your number or I'd ring you up instead..." she giggles and takes the game, blushing as her fingers brush mine due to my fingerless gloves her eyes widen as she reads the game's title "Wow, I've never seen anyone buy this before! You must have special taste!" I smile and ready a witty response when suddenly a voice rings out from behind "Hahaha look at what this ♥♥♥♥♥♥ is buying! That's not Call of Duty Advanced Memefare! What a piece of ♥♥♥♥!" I quickly turn around, my cloak billowing behind me, to discern the source of the rude outburst generic dudebro caricature with a sports team cap and "the guy that beat you up that one time behind the school in early October" shirt is standing there guffawing "Excuse me sir...you may disparage my person if you wish, but it is untoward to swear in front of a lady." "♥♥♥♥ you ♥♥♥♥♥♥!" I smile quietly and tip my fedora low across my eyes, concealing them "As you wish..." I quickly swing my cane into his kneecap before he can react he bellows and charges forward I expertly sidestep him and the cashier screams as he crashes into the counter I draw my sword-cane and mutter a quiet oath as I drive it deep into his back "...requiescat in pace..." As I clean my blade the girl walks out from behind the counter, twirling her hair with her fingers "So...maybe you'd like to come over to my place to play that game sometime...? "No thanks, milady, it's only single player. Besides..." I sheath my sword "You're not my type." skate away on my Heelys
January 2021

Classic

PepegaLicense

⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢀⣴⣾⣿⣶⣶⣶⣶⣶⣶⣦⣤⣤⣤⣤⣤⣄⣀⣀⡀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⣀⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧⡀⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⣰⣿⠋⠁⠄⠄⠉⠉⢉⡉⠉⢉⣹⣿⣿⣿⠛⢿⣿⣿⡟⠛⣿⣿⣿⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⢠⣿⠃⠄⢀⣀⢴⡦⣟⣿⠽⣶⣶⣯⣿⠛⠁⣤⣾⡟⠉⠄⠄⣿⣿⣿⡀⠄⠄ ⠄⢸⣿⡤⠋⢹⣦⢣⡭⢭⣬⣟⣺⣿⣿⣃⠄⣸⣿⠟⠄⠄⠄⠄⣿⣿⣿⡇⠄⠄ ⠄⣾⡟⣦⢴⣿⠿⣿⠰⠈⢿⡏⢿⣿⣿⣿⠇⣿⠿⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣿⣿⣿⡇⠄⠄ ⠄⣿⠱⣶⣴⣒⣽⣮⣉⣲⡭⠚⢼⣫⣿⡟⢸⣿⡺⣿⣶⣄⠄⠄⣿⣿⣿⡇⠄⠄ ⢠⡏⠈⠒⣩⠽⢛⣻⣿⣿⣿⣛⡛⠯⢽⣚⣾⣧⠇⣿⣿⣿⠆⢰⣿⣿⣿⣿⠄⠄ ⢸⠁⠄⠄⠄⠰⠄⢀⣀⣲⣾⣿⣟⣉⣡⣴⢻⣿⣾⣽⠿⠋⠄⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⡇ ⢸⣤⣤⣤⣀⣀⠄⠄⠉⠐⠒⠒⠺⠶⠶⠾⠈⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠃ ⢘⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠿⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡏⠁⠄⠈⡆ ⠈⠛⠿⡿⠿⡿⠿⠿⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡏⠄⠄⠄⠄⣿⠿⠿⢇⡀⠄⣀⠇ ⠄⠄⢸⠁⠄⢣⠄⠄⠄⢀⡏⠉⠉⡏⠉⠉⠉⡇⠄⠄⠄⢀⠇⠄⠄⠄⠄⠈⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠈⠒⠒⠊⠄⠄⠄⠘⠣⠤⠤⠋⠄⠄⠄⠈⠒⠒⠒⠉⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄
November 2021

Pepe

UR DONGIN A GRET JOB KROPP

twitchquotes: ヽ(◉◡◔)ノ UR DONGIN A GRET JOB KROPP ヽ(◉◡◔)ノ
twitch chat
November 2014
Kripp

Joker fursona bodyguard

twitchquotes: Okay CLEARLY sakurai is playing favorites already wtf. Joker is literally bayo, cloud, olimar put together. He gave him a GUN for gods sake and you LMFAO you can’t even hurt his fursona bodyguard ohmygod
twitch chat
April 2019

Super Smash Bros

One off lethal

twitchquotes: Discovering his inner-passion for painting, Kripp leaves Twitch for good and takes Rania and Dex on the road with him to pursue his dream. After six months Kripp realizes being an artist is a lot harder than playing video games. But it’s too late. Homeless and starving, Rania hates Kripp, Dex hates Kripp, and, worst of all, Kripp hates Kripp. Buying a gun one rainy day, he puts it in his mouth and pulls the trigger. *click* He forgot to buy bullets. “One off lethal,” Rania sobs.
twitch chat
November 2018
Kripp
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