I used to be a real ad
More Classic Copypastas
Trumpet Skeleton of the Abyss
twitchquotes:
πΊπΊπΊπΊπΊπΊπΊπππππ IF YOU SEE THIS MESSAGE WHILE SCROLLING you have been visited by trumpet skeleton of the abyss. good bones and calcium will come to you but only if you reply "thank mr skeltal" to this message and pasta it to 3 times!! πππΊπΊπΊπΊπΊπΊπΊπππππππ
twitch chat
Classic
Traveled the entire galaxy trying to find out who asked
β β β β β β .γγγγγγγγγγγγγ.γγγοΎ .γγγγγγγγγγγγγ. γγγγγγγγγγγγγγγβ¦ γγγγγ,γγγγγγγ. β β β β β β β β β β β β β β β β β γγγγγγγγγγγ. .γγγγγγγγγγγγγ. γγβ¦β γβββγγγ,γγγγγγγγγ β γγγγβ γγ, β β β β β β β β β β β β .γγγγγβγγβ γγγβ .γ Λγγγβ γβ ββγγ,γγγγγγ. . β γγβ ββγγγγγβ β¦β γ . .γγγγ.γγγβ . ΛγγγγγγγγοΎγγγγγ. .β γγβ ββ ββ ββ ββ ββ ββ ββ ββ ββ ββ , *γγβ . .γγγγγγγγγγβ β¦ Λγγγγγγγγγγγγγγ .β γγγγγγγγγγ γγγγγγγγγγ.γγγγγγγγ. β¦β γβββγγγ,γγββββ β γγ .γγγγγβγγβ γγγ. Λγγγβ γβ ββγγγγ γγγγγγγγγγγ, .γγγ β βγγββββγγγγγβγγγγγ. Traveled the entire galaxy trying to find out who askedβ β β β β β β .γγγγγγγγγγβ β β β¦ β β γγγγγγγγγγγγγγβ β β β β * β β β .γγγγγγγγγγ. β β β β β β β β β β β β β¦β β β β β β β β β β β β β β β β β β β β β β β β β β β β β β β β β β β β β β β β β β β β β β β β β β β β β β β β β β β β β β β β β β β β β β β β β .γγγγγγγγγγγγγ.γγγοΎ .γγγγγγγγγγγγγ.
Classic
Who Asked?
Shane Dawson tweet - i didnt fuck my cat
i didnt fuck my cat. i didnt cum on my cat. i didnt put my dick anywhere near my cat. Ive never done anything weird with my cats. I promised myself i wasnt going to make apology videos after last years thing so im just trying to be as short and honest with this as possible. (1/?)
Classic
TIFU: Losing my Virginity to a Water Slide
So do you guys know those waterslides that you stand in, and then they suddenly drop you straight down onto the water slide? If not, look them up on YouTube, there's nothing like them.
Ah yes, the sweet memories of my first time on one of these. I feel that my mental/emotional scars have healed enough to tell this gem.
At the time my girlfriend, now FiancΓ©e, worked as a photographer for one of those resorts with the indoor and outdoor water parks. One of her perks was that her and a family member/friend could get into the waterpark for free, so one hot summer day she had off and we both decided it'd be fun to go there and cool down for the day.
While we were there, I discovered one of there most "Thrilling" looking waterslides. Basically you stand in this tube, and then the slide operator presses a button and this slide drops you straight down a good 90 FEET, before you actually start going down the water slide. Me, being a thrill seeker, of course had to try it. So I made the great climb up to the top of the slide, stood in line, and finally it was my turn. Once I got in the tube, the operator told me to keep my legs crossed. Now I'm a pretty big heavy guy, so I was like "That's uncomfortable as fuck, I'm not doing that". So there I was standing in the tube, having a panic attack from anticipation, with my legs not crossed. The operator finally presses the button, the bottom opens and I fall straight down the water slide. Very quickly I realized why they have you cross your legs. Water shot so far up my ass, so fast, I swear I tasted it in my mouth. My body raced down that slide, as I questioned every life choice that I have ever made.
Once I made it to the bottom, I sat there for a moment, absolutely violated. I felt like someone in an episode of Law & Order: Special Victims Unit. I built up the courage to finally stand up, and all I could feel was the nice warm stream of water mixed with shit, and maybe a little bit of blood shoot out of my ass faster than the Steamboat Geyser at Yellowstone National Park. I quickly got off the slide and ran to the bathroom, with a trail of shitty water tailing me as the slide operator stared in awe. They had to shut down the slide for the rest of the day :'), but man was my asshole clean after that!
Moral of the story: Keep your damn legs crossed on waterslides.
Classic
"Based"? Are "Based"? Are you fucking kidding me?
"Based"? Are you fucking kidding me? I spent a decent portion of my life writing all of that and your response to me is "Based"? Are you so mentally handicapped that the only word you can comprehend is "Based" - or are you just some fucking asshole who thinks that with such a short response, he can make a statement about how meaningless what was written was? Well, I'll have you know that what I wrote was NOT meaningless, in fact, I even had my written work proof-read by several professors of literature. Don't believe me? I doubt you would, and your response to this will probably be "Based" once again. Do I give a fuck? No, does it look like I give even the slightest fuck about five fucking letters? I bet you took the time to type those five letters too, I bet you sat there and chuckled to yourself for 20 hearty seconds before pressing "send". You're so fucking pathetic. I'm honestly considering directing you to a psychiatrist, but I'm simply far too nice to do something like that. You, however, will go out of your way to make a fool out of someone by responding to a well-thought-out, intelligent, or humorous statement that probably took longer to write than you can last in bed with a chimpanzee. What do I have to say to you? Absolutely nothing. I couldn't be bothered to respond to such a worthless attempt at a response. Do you want "Based" on your gravestone?