[Copypasta] Arrogant globaphopic

twitchquotes: This offends me as a vegan transgender atheist who vapes and crossfits 4 times a week and im also a male feminist as I identify myself as a pastafarian apache helicopter dog mega multi combo god of hyper death and if you dont agree with me. You're an ignorant arrogant globaphobic sexist lesbian
twitch chat
May 2016
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas

Logan Paul Apology but I replace "apologize" with "cum"

I've made a severe and continuous lapse in my judgement and I don't expect to be forgiven. I'm simply here to cum. So what we came across that day on the woods was obviously unplanned and the reactions you saw on tape were raw, they were unfiltered. None of us knew how to react or how to feel. I should have never posted the video. I should have put the cameras down, and stopped recording what we were going through. There's a lot of things I should have done differently, but I didn't, and for that from the bottom of my heart, I am sorry. I want to cum to the internet, I want to cum to anyone who's seen the video, I want to cum to anyone who has been affected or touched by mental illness, or depression, or suicide. But, most importantly, I want to cum to the victim and his family. For, my fans, who are defending my actions, please don't, they do not deserve to be defended. The goal of my content is always to entertain, to push the boundaries, to be all inclusive and in the world I live in I share almost everything I do. The intent is never to be heartless, cruel, or malicious. Like I said, I made a huge mistake, I don't expect to be forgiven, I'm just here to cum. I'm ashamed of myself. I'm disappointed in myself, and I promise to be better. I will be better, thank you.
May 2022

You will never be Japanese

You will never be Japanese. You have no ancestry, you have no citizenship, you have no skills that would make Japan ever want you. You are a shut-in self-hating white man twisted by delusions of mythical Japanese superiority and exposure to Japanese media into a disgusting mockery of nature’s perfection. All 'validation' you get from other people in this position couldn't be worse in making you believe that spending years of your life learning a globally useless language to a first-grader's level was a worthwhile use of your time, but one can't expect that an individual as pathetic as you will ever know the value of the youth you threw away in doing that. Actual Japanese are utterly repulsed by you. Thousands of years of linguistic evolution have allowed natives to identify frauds from mannerisms and vocabulary alone. Even if your written text of self-hatred and attention begging akin to a stray dog's somehow passes as normal (it won't), any Japanese person will immediately cut all ties when they hear the voice and accent of someone who is not only a basic Japanese speaker at best, but worth no more than garbage in skills, accomplishments, and likeability. You will never be happy. You wrench out a fake smile and laugh to yourself believing that watching a content creator that you understand 20% of at best is somehow superior than watching your own kind, as you project your disgusting traits onto your entire kind. However, deep inside you feel the depression creeping up like a weed, ready to crush you under the unbearable weight, and you know that. You know that all you do now is have an entirely new linguistic medium in which to be ignored, and not even the exotic trait of being foreign makes up for just how uninteresting of a person you are. Eventually it’ll be too much to bear - you’ll buy a rope, tie a noose, put it around your neck, and plunge into the cold abyss. Your parents will find you, heartbroken but relieved that they no longer have to live with the unbearable shame and disappointment. They’ll bury you with a headstone marked with your birth name, and every passerby for the rest of eternity will know a Western man is buried there. Your body will decay and go back to the dust, and all that will remain of your legacy is a skeleton that is unmistakably Caucasian. This is your fate. This is what you chose. There is no turning back. Hate yourself and apologize for being white to some Japanese entity that exists only in your mind while actual Japanese people put in effort to learn English for the valid reason of it being the global language.
April 2021

Weebs

For people that use "XD"

twitchquotes: But the real question is, when this musing entered your mind, did you really make such a face? Was it so funny that your face contorted into a gaping wide-mouthed smile as your eyes aggressively squinted shut? Did you truly "ex dee"? Were you able to see your screen as you typed with your eyes held steadfast as though they were steel vice grips clamping with hundreds of pounds of force?
twitch chat
February 2019

Daily stock prayer

Time for our daily prayer: Our calls, Who art in PLTR, Perfect be Thy Timing. Thy tendies come. Thy expirations be done, on earth as it is in Wall Street. Give us this day our daily Lambos. And forgive us of our puts, as we forgive those who buy puts against us. And lead us not into Debt, but deliver us unto tendies. Amen
December 2020

WallStreetBets

Mango Bay CoolCat

twitchquotes: CoolCat π“œπ“ͺ𝓷𝓰𝓸 𝓑π“ͺ𝔂 CoolCat π“œπ“ͺ𝓷𝓰𝓸 𝓑π“ͺ𝔂 CoolCat π“œπ“ͺ𝓷𝓰𝓸 𝓑π“ͺ𝔂 CoolCat π“œπ“ͺ𝓷𝓰𝓸 𝓑π“ͺ𝔂 CoolCat π“œπ“ͺ𝓷𝓰𝓸 𝓑π“ͺ𝔂 CoolCat π“œπ“ͺ𝓷𝓰𝓸 𝓑π“ͺ𝔂 CoolCat π“œπ“ͺ𝓷𝓰𝓸 𝓑π“ͺ𝔂 CoolCat π“œπ“ͺ𝓷𝓰𝓸 𝓑π“ͺ𝔂 CoolCat π“œπ“ͺ𝓷𝓰𝓸 𝓑π“ͺ𝔂 CoolCat π“œπ“ͺ𝓷𝓰𝓸 𝓑π“ͺ𝔂 CoolCat π“œπ“ͺ𝓷𝓰𝓸 𝓑π“ͺ𝔂 CoolCat π“œπ“ͺ𝓷𝓰𝓸 𝓑π“ͺ𝔂 CoolCat π“œπ“ͺ𝓷𝓰𝓸 𝓑π“ͺ𝔂 CoolCat π“œπ“ͺ𝓷𝓰𝓸 𝓑π“ͺ𝔂 CoolCat π“œπ“ͺ𝓷𝓰𝓸 𝓑π“ͺ𝔂 CoolCat π“œπ“ͺ𝓷𝓰𝓸 𝓑π“ͺ𝔂 CoolCat
twitch chat
January 2017

Dota 2

Text-to-Speech Playing