[Copypasta] Arrogant globaphopic

twitchquotes: This offends me as a vegan transgender atheist who vapes and crossfits 4 times a week and im also a male feminist as I identify myself as a pastafarian apache helicopter dog mega multi combo god of hyper death and if you dont agree with me. You're an ignorant arrogant globaphobic sexist lesbian
twitch chat
May 2016
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Kripp reviews a card

twitchquotes: ☐ I got the beast in my sights ☐ Hoot hoot ☐ That belongs in a museum ☐ Let me change your mind ☑ I looked at this card originally, and I thought, you know, it’s a card, and you play this card. The card will be that card that you’ve played, so you’re playing a card. So it is one thing to play a card if your opponent doesn’t really have any cards. The card will screw up the card pretty hard, and that means it’s a pretty good card.
twitch chat
May 2016
Kripp

Hearthstone

My family keeps making Amongus references

It seems like the more I (13 M) play Amongus, the more my family tries to embaras me. The other day, I overheard my dad (49 M) say that he needed to "complete tasks" while working at home😯🤬 don't worry it gets worse. Then I hear my Mom (42 F) say that the amount of time I spend on my computer is "suspiscios." Ummm ok so (#1) ur too good to say "sus" 🤔 and (#2) u dont even play amogus??? 😂😂😂. Even my moms work friend (28 M or somthing idk) came over yesterday to "look at her vents" I'm not even making this up 🙄🙄🙄 But then the worse part😑 every sunday my granpa (69 M) comes over. He reminisces about his "Crewmates" from his Navy days and apparently a few of them died so u cry about it at dinner? Just start a new game FFS 😆 but he's lying so uhhh we get it bro: u just want attention 😯😅🤣 The problem is NONE of them even Play Omungus. How do i tell em that being a poser is a cringe Brie Larson unholesome Black History Month anti-chungus move?
March 2021

Among Us / Amogus

My SUSSY POWERS ARE AWAKENING

My SUSSY POWERS ARE AWAKENING 😱😎 Part 1. I just did my daily jackoff ☺️ to my impostor body pillow, 😱 but when I came, 👻 I started floating, 😱 and think I got teleported into the skeld. 😮 I swear for a second I felt the imposter's strong hands grip my asscheeks.🤤 🍑 🍑 I immediately was transported back to earth, 😭 and I instantly got on all fours on my bed naked, 🤪 as you would, and started screaming in my best efforts to summon the imposter 💪 “IM READY FUCK ME FUCK ME FUCK ME FUCK ME PLEASE DADDY IMPOSTER” I was so close to feeling the imposters sweet cock fuck the shit out of me 🤤 but then my NAZI RACIST mother came in and beat the shit out of me. 😔😒🙁☹️ She then said I was going to a magical place called the “mental asylum” 🤔 I’m not too sure where that dimension is located but it sounds EPIC 😮
April 2022

Among Us / Amogus

ANY LOSERS?

ascii art
November 2020

NSFW

I have never come across a single person who cared about what you just said

Hi there! My name is Michael Grover, and I am an explorer. Ever since I’ve been little, I’ve loved searching for new things. As a baby, my parents kept finding me in nooks and crannies around the house. “On the search” as they would say. By the age of 5, I had been to every continent on the planet, barring Antarctica. For my 12th birthday, my parents got me diving lessons, and by the time I was 13, I could scuba dive to a depth of 40 meters, as well as go cave diving. I got a pilot’s license by the age of 17, and I learned to sail just before my 18th birthday. Instead of going to university, I decided to travel around South America, exploring its rich jungles and beautiful landscapes. During my trip, I met my now wife who was also an explorer. For our honeymoon, we sailed around the Caribbean and we discovered 3 new islands which we named after the cats that I had growing up. Over the course of my life, I have come across great treasures and wondrous experiences. But in all my life, and in all my travels, I’m afraid I have never come across a single person who cared about what you just said.
April 2021
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