[Copypasta] You notice a wall of text in twitch chat

Oh my gourd, I am financially ruined (agricultural futures)

I have lost everything, and I'm not sure how to continue. This summer I invested $17,500 (six months salary and my entire life savings) into ornamental gourd futures, hoping to capitalize on this lucrative emerging industry. After watching a video about Vincent Kosuga and his monopoly on onions, I decided I'd try to do something similar with another vegetable. I did some research and found out many agricultural forecasters expected this year's gourd yield would be far smaller than the past, due to deteriorating soil conditions in central Mexico and a warmer-than-average spring. At first, demand soared around Halloween and prices skyrocketed, but the gourd bubble burst on November 12th. Unfortunately, the coronavirus caused a massive drop-off in demand due to fewer families decorating their tables for thanksgiving, and prices plummeted. I had invested early enough that I thought I would still be fine, but then on the morning of December 2nd, a new email in my inbox caused my stomach to turn into a pretzel. The massive gourd shipment from Argentina, scheduled for early March, had arrived. I was planning on selling off my futures right before this, in February, but this ruined everything. To top it off, the gourds in this shipment were absolutely gargantuan, some topping 4 pounds each, causing the price-per-pound to drop like an anchor into the range of 6 cents per pound. I am ruined.

January 2021

Classic

WallStreetBets

Which KogMaw playstyle is better?

twitchquotes: Imaqtpie, I've noticed in Korea they tend to use a mix of magic and physical damage on Kog Maw. Meanwhile you seem to be using mostly true damage. Which playstyle is better?

twitch chat

December 2017

imaqtpie

Classic

League of Legends

Giving due respect to the chat moderators

twitchquotes: Hey mods I just wanted to congratulate you all and give proper respect for keeping our chats safe from the evils of Twitch, the spammers, and sexual predators. Without you and your methods, which have no affiliation to the leading German political party within the time frame of World War 2, we would not be able to enjoy a fun, clean environment in which we can enrich ourselves with game knowledge and truly become one as a great family for the greater good of internet chatrooms. Again, I would like to say you have done a wonderful job and hope to see you all keep up the great work.

twitch chat

December 2014

MODS

Classic

Le Toucan has arrived

░░░░░░░░▄▄▄▀▀▀▄▄███▄░░░░░░░░░░░░░░ ░░░░░▄▀▀░░░░░░░▐░▀██▌░░░░░░░░░░░░░ ░░░▄▀░░░░▄▄███░▌▀▀░▀█░░░░░░░░░░░░░ ░░▄█░░▄▀▀▒▒▒▒▒▄▐░░░░█▌░░░░░░░░░░░░ ░▐█▀▄▀▄▄▄▄▀▀▀▀▌░░░░░▐█▄░░░░░░░░░░░ ░▌▄▄▀▀░░░░░░░░▌░░░░▄███████▄░░░░░░ ░░░░░░░░░░░░░▐░░░░▐███████████▄░░░ ░░░░░le░░░░░░░▐░░░░▐█████████████▄ ░░░░toucan░░░░░░▀▄░░░▐█████████████▄ ░░░░░░has░░░░░░░░▀▄▄███████████████ ░░░░░arrived░░░░░░░░░░░░█▀██████░░

ascii art

January 2015

Classic

roleplay with you as your online gf

twitchquotes: I just have seen your stream and wanted to say that I thought you were super adorable. you don’t know me at all and i know it’s kinda weird. I just thought maybe it’d be fun to roleplay with you as your online gf maybe? I know you’re straight. I’m a boy that’s why I was saying roleplay.. this isn’t a troll. again, I know it’s really random and weird. I’m sorry. It would just be a fun online relationship - nothing serious and I could donate to you and your stream and support you and just be here

twitch chat

July 2019

[Copypasta] You notice a wall of text in twitch chat

Classic

Classic

Oh my gourd, I am financially ruined (agricultural futures)

Classic

WallStreetBets

Which KogMaw playstyle is better?

Classic

League of Legends

Giving due respect to the chat moderators

MODS

Classic

Le Toucan has arrived

Classic

roleplay with you as your online gf

Classic

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