I used to be a real ad
More Reynad Copypastas
Even that was not nearly as salty as you are right now...
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I once drank an entire bottle of soy sauce on a dare, which I thought was all well and good... until I developed extreme dehydration and Hypernatremia. They had to put an IV directly into my veins to rehydrate me. It was the closet I've ever been to dying. What I'm getting at is, even that was not nearly as salty as you are right now 
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Reynad
salty
Hello Mr. Squirrel it's nice to meet you!
Disappointed that Reynad doesn't live in the Dead Sea
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I was disappointed to find that when i flew to the Dead Sea to realize that Reynad doesn't live there, considering it's the saltiest sea in the world.
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Reynad
The largest object in the solar system
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Hey reynad, I'm working on a science project and I need to find the largest object in the solar system. What's the measurements of your forehead? 
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Reynad
Honestly, that's what Icall a cool story bro
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Honestly, that's what Icall a cool story bro. Such a riveting tale, I honestly copy andpasted itto word, saved on my hard drive, backed it up on a jump drive, drove to the bank, put the jump drive in the safe deposit box, and will leave it there until my kids turn about 12 (when they can actually state their age, and ask what it is I'm showing them), when I will pick it up, put it in an old USB drive reader and relay this cool story to them and tell them, "kids, this is what a cool story should look and sound like...not like the stories your generation tells
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Reynad