[Copypasta] Katy t3h PeNgU1N oF d00m

twitchquotes: hi every1 im new!!!!!!! *holds up spork* my name is katy but u can call me t3h PeNgU1N oF d00m!!!!!!!! lol...as u can see im very random!!!! thats why i came here, 2 meet random ppl like me ^_^... im 13 years old (im mature 4 my age tho!!) i like 2 watch invader zim w/ my girlfreind(im bi if u dont like it deal w/it) its our favorite tv show!!! bcuz its SOOOO random!!!! shes random 2 of course but i want 2 meet more random ppl =) like they say the more the merrier!!!! lol...neways i hope 2 make alot of freinds here so give me lots of commentses!!!!
twitch chat
April 2015

Classic

(β–€ΜΏΔΉΜ―β”œβ”¬β”΄β”¬β”΄ Psst... kid, you wanna disable adblock?
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Oh my gourd, I am financially ruined (agricultural futures)

I have lost everything, and I'm not sure how to continue. This summer I invested $17,500 (six months salary and my entire life savings) into ornamental gourd futures, hoping to capitalize on this lucrative emerging industry. After watching a video about Vincent Kosuga and his monopoly on onions, I decided I'd try to do something similar with another vegetable. I did some research and found out many agricultural forecasters expected this year's gourd yield would be far smaller than the past, due to deteriorating soil conditions in central Mexico and a warmer-than-average spring. At first, demand soared around Halloween and prices skyrocketed, but the gourd bubble burst on November 12th. Unfortunately, the coronavirus caused a massive drop-off in demand due to fewer families decorating their tables for thanksgiving, and prices plummeted. I had invested early enough that I thought I would still be fine, but then on the morning of December 2nd, a new email in my inbox caused my stomach to turn into a pretzel. The massive gourd shipment from Argentina, scheduled for early March, had arrived. I was planning on selling off my futures right before this, in February, but this ruined everything. To top it off, the gourds in this shipment were absolutely gargantuan, some topping 4 pounds each, causing the price-per-pound to drop like an anchor into the range of 6 cents per pound. I am ruined.
January 2021

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WallStreetBets

MONTHLY PLEB TEST

twitchquotes: PLEASE COPY PASTE THIS FOR YOUR MONTHLY PLEB TEST: βœ“ amazW βœ“ krippW βœ“ trumpW βœ“ btsLdW βœ“ reynadW βœ“ kolentoW βœ“ bajW βœ“ btsKotlW βœ“ dewW βœ“ emjaneW βœ“ forsenW βœ“ krippW βœ“ mitchW βœ“ singsingFcuk βœ“ reckW βœ“ sodaW βœ“ btsGodzW βœ“ merliniHappyMerlini βœ“ taymooW βœ“ rtzW βœ“ admiralW βœ“ envySwag βœ“ sumailKappa βœ“ btsMerliniW βœ“ wtrWtR βœ“ dagerDendi βœ“ ppdSalt βœ“ fearGASM βœ“ singsingP βœ“ fluffyW βœ“ ratW βœ“ Pleb test passed
twitch chat
April 2016

Classic

Response to "go fuck yourself"

What if I'm already fucking myself? Behind this simple insult hides a universal paradox that may put your sexuality in question. Let's do a simple thought experiment: imagine us two standing in front of each other. I, of course, am wearing a pair of jeans, that are covering my genitals and my butt. You then command me to "go fuck myself". I may be fucking myself already. I may as well not be fucking myself already. Until my dick and its position relative to my ass is observed, it is simultaneously in my ass, but also outside of it - thus, it stays in superposition. The moment you lay eyes on my penis, both states collide with each other and become either one. You may have already guessed what the problem here is. As soon as a single photon reflected by my dick enters either one of your eyes, you become gay. The only way to avoid this is to not observe my penis. But if you don't look at it, then you will never know if your insult had any effect, thus rendering it meaningless. Since you have already made the insult, you are now, too, in superposition - you're either wrong, or gay. It's unfortunate, really - you dug a hole for yourself without even knowing it. All you can do now is accept it, and learn from your mistakes.
April 2020

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Hi, my name is Bill Gates and today I’ll teach you how to count to ten

twitchquotes: Hi, my name is Bill Gates and today I’ll teach you how to count to ten: 1, 2, 3, 95, 98, NT, 2000, XP, Vista, 7, 8, 10
twitch chat
October 2014

Classic

This is Bob Ross communicating from beyond the grave

twitchquotes: CoolStoryBob Hi, this is Bob Ross communicating from beyond the grave. I dedicated my life to painting so that you brats could do something more productive with your lives than sitting on your *** playing your stupid Atari games all day. I don't appreciate you morons abusing my legacy and turning me into some childish meme that you can spam on your little MSM chat thing. Now go paint a mountain or something and don't you dare copypaste this. CoolStoryBob
twitch chat
October 2016
Bob Ross

Classic

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