[Copypasta] Katy t3h PeNgU1N oF d00m

Born to be a Twitch channel mod

twitchquotes: You can say that I was born to be a Twitch channel mod. I catch a glimpse of copypasta, the adrenaline starts pumping. A whiff of drama, I snap into duty. My streamer calls for a chat ban, I erase that motherfucker from the history books of this channel. There is no !command I won’t code, no timeout I won’t give, no Twitch laws I won’t overlook, and no order I won’t obey to make my streamer happy. And if you become his problem, well, I’m sorry to say that I’ll become yours.

twitch chat

December 2019

MODS

Classic

Natalie Portman is the reason I work out

Natalie Portman is the reason I work out. I have this fantasy where we start talking at the Vanity Fair Oscars party bar. We exchange a few pleasantries. She asks what I do. I say I loved her in New Girl. She laughs. I get my drink. "Well, see ya," I say and walk away. I've got her attention now. How many guys voluntarily leave a conversation with Natalie Portman? She touches her neck as she watches me leave. Later, as the night's dragged on and the coterie of gorgeous narcissists grows increasingly loose, she finds me on the balcony, my bowtie undone, smoking a cigarette. "Got a spare?" she asks. "What's in it for me?" I say as I hand her one of my little white ladies. She smiles. "Conversation with me, duh." I laugh. "What's so funny?" she protests. "Nothing, nothing... It's just... don't you grow tired of the egos?" "You get used to it," she says, lighting her cigarette and handing me back the lighter. "What would you do if you weren't an actress?" I ask. "Teaching, I think." "And if I was your student, what would I be learning?" "Discipline," she says quickly, looking up into my eyes, before changing the subject. "Where are you from?" "Bermuda," I say. "Oh wow. That's lovely." "It's ok," I admit. "Not everything is to my liking." "What could possibly be not to your liking in Bermuda?" she inquires. "I don't like sand," I tell her. "It's coarse and rough and irritating and it gets everywhere."

January 2021

Classic

Le fedora has arrived

░░░░░░░░▄▀█▀█▄██████████▄▄░░░░░░ ░░░░░░░▐██████████████████▌░░░░░ ░░░░░░░████le██fedora████████▌░░ ░░░░░░▐███████████████████▌░░░░░ ░░░░░░████has████arrived███████▄ ░░░▄█▐█▄█▀█████████████▀█▄█▐█▄░░ ░▄██▌██████▄█▄█▄█▄█▄█▄█████▌██▌░ ▐████▄▀▀▀▀████████████▀▀▀▀▄███░░ ▐█████████▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄██████▀░░░ ░░░▀▀████████████████████░░░░░░░

ascii art

February 2015

Classic

Qt has finally reached rank one

twitchquotes: The year is 2050, league is played by less than 100 people. Qt has finally reached rank one, "Lisha I did it!" he yells excitedly. The sound echoes through the empty mansion. Lisha left long ago...

twitch chat

May 2017

imaqtpie

Classic

League of Legends

This is the world we have wrought

twitchquotes: The year is 2129; humans can only communicate through increasingly garbled copy-pasta. A man approaches and says "ire: ███ 10 ｓｔｒｏｋｅｄｉｃｋ ff ☑ EKT ☾ ☆ ¸. ?" In confusion, I reply "AT ASCII ຈل͜ل͜ຈຈ༽༽ﾉﾉ HA ʙᴏʟᴀ ヽ༼ಢ_ ♌ ❛ั∗)◞ TUCK F (◡‿◡✿)". This is the world we have wrought.

twitch chat

October 2014

[Copypasta] Katy t3h PeNgU1N oF d00m

Classic

Classic

Born to be a Twitch channel mod

MODS

Classic

Natalie Portman is the reason I work out

Classic

Le fedora has arrived

Classic

Qt has finally reached rank one

Classic

League of Legends

This is the world we have wrought

Classic

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