[Copypasta] I sexually identify as a single Pringle

twitchquotes: I sexually identify as a single, Pringle, ready to mingle. Ever since I was a potato I dreamed of being thin sliced, covered in disgusting oil then heated in a medium oven until reaching climax at the micro second of golden-browness. People bully me, and say things like "what the fuck, you aren't a Pringle", but I know deep down they are just jealous of my inner beauty.
twitch chat
March 2015

I sexually Identify as

I used to be a real ad
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I sexually Identify as a Genji

twitchquotes: I sexually Identify as a Genji. Ever since I was a boy I dreamed of dashing through the battlefield swift striking the disgusting enemy team. People say being Genji is Impossible but I donā€™t care, I can solo carry. Iā€™m having a plastic surgeon install cyborg parts,a shuriken dispenser and a dragonblade on my body. From now on I want you guys to call me "Genji Shimada Senpai" and respect my right to ignore objectives and play team deathmatch. RyÅ«jin no ken wo kurae!
twitch chat
January 2017

Overwatch

I sexually Identify as

I sexually idenfity as the Boogeymonster

twitchquotes: I sexually identify as The Boogeymonster. Ever since I pre-ordered 50 packs the only card I dreamed of pulling was The Boogeymonster to put it in my deck, play it on turn 8, and watch it grow. Watch it get out of control as it feasts on every puny creature my horrified opponent dares to lay on the board. I can already hear The Boogeymonster's attack sound as it swings in for a 30 damage lethal. If you can't accept this you're a boogeyphobe and you need to check your legendary privilege.
twitch chat
June 2016
Kripp

Hearthstone

I sexually Identify as

Kripp please stop wearing sexually suggestive clothing

twitchquotes: Hi Kripp, I think your arena results would be better if you focused more on your gameplay and less on wearing sexually suggestive clothing
twitch chat
November 2014
Kripp

I sexually Identify as

I sexually identify as a centipede

twitchquotes: I sexually identify as a centipede. Ever since I was a boy I dreamed of dropping dank memes on cucks everywhere. People say to me that a person being a centipede is Impossible and Iā€™m *** retarded but I donā€™t care, Iā€™m beautiful. Iā€™m having a plastic surgeon install 100 legs and two hollow fangs on my body. From now on I want you guys to call me ā€œNimble Navigatorā€ and respect my right to meme everywhere and trigger endlessly.
twitch chat
November 2016

2016 US Election

I sexually Identify as

I sexually Identify as an Elon Musk

I sexually Identify as an Elon Musk. Ever since I was a boy I dreamed of implanting wires in monkey brains and being the supreme leader of Mars. People say to me that a person being a multi-billionaire CEO is impossible and Iā€™m a fucking Twittard but I donā€™t care, Iā€™m the richest man on Earth. Iā€™m having a plastic surgeon install a Tesla HUD, StarLink terminal and a crypto mining rig on my body. From now on I want you guys to call me ā€œTechnoking of Teslaā€ and respect my right to manipulate dogecoin prices. If you canā€™t accept me youā€™re a muskophobe and need to check your unionized worker privilege. Thank you for being so understanding.
April 2022

I sexually Identify as

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