[Copypasta] I sexually identify as a single Pringle

twitchquotes: I sexually identify as a single, Pringle, ready to mingle. Ever since I was a potato I dreamed of being thin sliced, covered in disgusting oil then heated in a medium oven until reaching climax at the micro second of golden-browness. People bully me, and say things like "what the fuck, you aren't a Pringle", but I know deep down they are just jealous of my inner beauty.
twitch chat
March 2015

I sexually Identify as

(ā–€ĢæĹĢÆā”œā”¬ā”“ā”¬ā”“ Psst... kid, you wanna disable adblock?
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I sexually Identify as an Elon Musk

I sexually Identify as an Elon Musk. Ever since I was a boy I dreamed of implanting wires in monkey brains and being the supreme leader of Mars. People say to me that a person being a multi-billionaire CEO is impossible and Iā€™m a fucking Twittard but I donā€™t care, Iā€™m the richest man on Earth. Iā€™m having a plastic surgeon install a Tesla HUD, StarLink terminal and a crypto mining rig on my body. From now on I want you guys to call me ā€œTechnoking of Teslaā€ and respect my right to manipulate dogecoin prices. If you canā€™t accept me youā€™re a muskophobe and need to check your unionized worker privilege. Thank you for being so understanding.
April 2022

I sexually Identify as

I sexually Identify as McCree

twitchquotes: I sexually Identify as McCree. Ever since I was a boy I dreamed of walking slowly on the battlefield announcing it's mid day. People say that being a McCree is Impossible but I donā€™t care, Iā€™m beautiful. Iā€™m having a plastic surgeon install a cowboyhat, revolver and High Noon memes on my body. From now on I want you guys to call me "Jesse McCree" and respect my right to announce it's mid day. If you canā€™t accept me youā€™re a HighNoonaphope and need to check your gunslinger privileges.
twitch chat
February 2017

Overwatch

I sexually Identify as

I sexually Identify as tyler1

twitchquotes: I sexually identify as tyler1. Ever since I was a boy I dreamed of running it down mid and typing "hehe xd" to boosted animals. People say to me that a beta becoming an alpha god is impossible and that Iā€™m fucking retarded, but I donā€™t care, Iā€™m an alpha. Iā€™m having an engineer install a McChicken dispenser and an Oreo McFlury maker in my room. From now on I want you guys to call me ā€œtyler1ā€ and respect my right to catch axes and flame needlessly. If you canā€™t accept me youā€™re an dravenphobe and need to check your alpha privilege. hehe xd.
twitch chat
June 2016
Tyler1

I sexually Identify as

League of Legends

I identify as a meme

twitchquotes: I sexually Identify as a meme. Ever since I was a boy I dreamed of being uploaded onto the imgur website and linked into the reddit threads. People say to me that a person being a meme is Impossible and I'm fucking retarded but I don't care, I'm beautiful. I'm having a computer scientist put my brain into my computer like johnny depp in transendence, equipping me with the dankest of pictures from the internet. From now on I want you guys to call me "Sir Danks-a-lot" and respect my right to meme from above and meme needlessly. If you can't accept me you're a memephobe and need to check your internet privilege. Thank you for being so understanding.
twitch chat
January 2015

I sexually Identify as

I sexually identify as a centipede

twitchquotes: I sexually identify as a centipede. Ever since I was a boy I dreamed of dropping dank memes on cucks everywhere. People say to me that a person being a centipede is Impossible and Iā€™m *** retarded but I donā€™t care, Iā€™m beautiful. Iā€™m having a plastic surgeon install 100 legs and two hollow fangs on my body. From now on I want you guys to call me ā€œNimble Navigatorā€ and respect my right to meme everywhere and trigger endlessly.
twitch chat
November 2016

2016 US Election

I sexually Identify as

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