[Copypasta] My IQ is extremely, almost embarrassingly, high

twitchquotes: My IQ is extremely, almost embarrassingly, high. I've never actually taken an IQ test, mind you, but my educated guess is that, if I did, my score would be whatever is the highest possible. No doubt your IQ is lower than mine, but please don't feel stupid or insecure about this, it's not your fault. You're probably just born that way. And you know what? Thank your lucky stars and subpar genetic makeup that you don't have to bear the burden of brilliance like I have to. Being incredibly intelligent is a curse. This is not just one of the many astute observations I have every day, by the way, it is a fact recently confirmed by science.
twitch chat
January 2019
(β–€ΜΏΔΉΜ―β”œβ”¬β”΄β”¬β”΄ Psst... kid, you wanna disable adblock?
More Copypastas

Unidan "jackdaw is a crow"

Here's the thing. You said a "jackdaw is a crow." Is it in the same family? Yes. No one's arguing that. As someone who is a scientist who studies crows, I am telling you, specifically, in science, no one calls jackdaws crows. If you want to be "specific" like you said, then you shouldn't either. They're not the same thing. If you're saying "crow family" you're referring to the taxonomic grouping of Corvidae, which includes things from nutcrackers to blue jays to ravens. So your reasoning for calling a jackdaw a crow is because random people "call the black ones crows?" Let's get grackles and blackbirds in there, then, too. Also, calling someone a human or an ape? It's not one or the other, that's not how taxonomy works. They're both. A jackdaw is a jackdaw and a member of the crow family. But that's not what you said. You said a jackdaw is a crow, which is not true unless you're okay with calling all members of the crow family crows, which means you'd call blue jays, ravens, and other birds crows, too. Which you said you don't. It's okay to just admit you're wrong, you know?
October 2021

Classic

Iron Man

β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–“β–“β–“β–ˆβ–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–ˆβ–“β–“β–“β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–ˆβ–“β–“β–ˆβ–“β–“β–“β–ˆβ–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–ˆβ–“β–“β–“β–ˆβ–“β–“β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–‘β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–ˆβ”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–‘β–‘ β–‘β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–ˆβ”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–‘ β–‘β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–ˆβ”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–‘ β–‘β–ˆβ–“β–ˆβ–ˆβ”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–ˆβ”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–“β–ˆβ–‘ β–‘β–ˆβ–ˆβ–“β–ˆβ”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–ˆβ”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ–“β–ˆβ–ˆβ–‘ β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–“β–ˆβ”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–ˆβ”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ–“β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆ β–ˆβ–“β–ˆβ–ˆβ–“β–ˆβ”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ–“β–ˆβ–ˆβ–“β–ˆ β–ˆβ–“β–ˆβ–ˆβ–“β–ˆβ”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ–“β–ˆβ–ˆβ–“β–ˆ β–ˆβ–“β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–“β–ˆ β–ˆβ–“β–ˆβ–ˆβ–€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–“β–ˆ β–ˆβ–“β–ˆβ–ˆβ”€β”€β–ˆβ–€β–€β–€β–€β–„β–„β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–„β–„β–€β–€β–€β–€β–ˆβ”€β”€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–“β–ˆ β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–„β–„β–ˆβ–ˆβ–€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆ β–‘β–ˆβ–ˆβ”€β”€β”€β–€β–ˆβ–„β–„β–„β–„β–ˆβ–€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–€β–ˆβ–„β–„β–„β–„β–ˆβ–€β”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–‘ β–‘β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–‘ β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–“β–ˆβ”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ–“β–ˆβ–‘β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–“β–“β–ˆβ”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ–“β–“β–ˆβ–‘β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–“β–“β–“β–ˆβ”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ–“β–“β–“β–ˆβ–‘β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–“β–“β–“β–ˆβ”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ–“β–“β–“β–ˆβ–‘β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–“β–“β–“β–“β–ˆβ–„β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–„β–ˆβ–“β–“β–“β–“β–ˆβ–‘β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–“β–“β–ˆβ–€β–ˆβ”€β”€β–„β–€β–€β–€β–€β–€β–€β–€β–€β–„β”€β”€β–ˆβ–€β–ˆβ–“β–“β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–“β–ˆβ”€β–€β–„β–„β–€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–€β–„β–„β–€β”€β–ˆβ–“β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–“β–ˆβ”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–„β–„β–„β–„β–„β–„β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ–“β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–“β–ˆβ–„β–„β–„β–ˆβ–ˆβ–“β–“β–“β–“β–ˆβ–ˆβ–„β–„β–„β–ˆβ–“β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–“β–“β–“β–ˆβ–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–ˆβ–“β–“β–“β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘
September 2021

No longer afford drugs after playing Star Wars Force Arena

twitchquotes: (sponsored viewer): My dad has been struggling with drug addiction for the last 20 years. After I showed him this game, he can no longer afford drugs! Thank you Star Warsβ„’: Force Arena! SeemsGood
twitch chat
February 2017
Kripp

sellout

The year is 2025. Kripp lies on his deathbed

twitchquotes: The year is 2025. Kripp lies on his deathbed, the countless years of veganism finally having taken their toll. He struggles to adjust his eyes to the glare of his computer screen, yearning to view his beloved twitch chat one more time. All he sees is degenerate weeb spam. His eyes brim with tears. He begins gasping his final breath, and in his final moments he tells Rania "K"
twitch chat
June 2017
Kripp

TSM, aka "Tiananmen Square Massacre"

twitchquotes: TSM, aka "Tiananmen Square Massacre", is a myth propogated by Western governments to destabilize China. The hoax supposedly involved military suppression of democracy protesters using troops and tanks in June of 1989.
twitch chat
November 2019
Text-to-Speech Playing