[Copypasta] My IQ is extremely, almost embarrassingly, high

twitchquotes: My IQ is extremely, almost embarrassingly, high. I've never actually taken an IQ test, mind you, but my educated guess is that, if I did, my score would be whatever is the highest possible. No doubt your IQ is lower than mine, but please don't feel stupid or insecure about this, it's not your fault. You're probably just born that way. And you know what? Thank your lucky stars and subpar genetic makeup that you don't have to bear the burden of brilliance like I have to. Being incredibly intelligent is a curse. This is not just one of the many astute observations I have every day, by the way, it is a fact recently confirmed by science.
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January 2019
I used to be a real ad
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Half Life 3

⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠛⠉⠉⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠛⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠋⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⣀⣠⣤⣤⣀⣀⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠴⠋⠹⡆⠀⠀⠀⠈ ⣿⣿⣿⡿⠉⠀⠀⠀⢀⣤⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣄⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠠⢼⡃⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⣿⣿⠏⠀⠀⠀⢠⣶⣿⣿⣿⠉⠉⠉⠉⠉⠹⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣦⡀⠀⠀⠀⣀⠀⠀⣷⠀⠀⠀⢀ ⣿⠃⠀⠀⠀⣴⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣀⣀⡀⠀⠀⠀⢻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣄⠀⠀⠙⠓⠚⠁⠀⠀⠀⣾ ⡏⠀⠀⠀⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠄⠀⠀⠈⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡆⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣼⣿ ⠀⠀⠀⢰⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠃⠀⠀⠀⠀⠘⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣸⣿⣿ ⠀⠀⠀⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡄⠀⠀⠀⠀⣰⣿⣿⣿ ⠀⠀⠀⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠁⠀⠀⠀⣰⡆⠀⠀⠀⢹⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠇⠀⠀⠀⢠⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⠀⠀⠀⠸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⠁⠀⠀⠀⣴⣿⣿⡀⠀⠀⠀⢻⣿⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠀⠀⠀⢀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣇⠀⠀⠀⢻⣿⣿⣿⡟⠀⠀⠀⢀⣾⣿⣿⣿⣷⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠸⣿⣿⠇⠀⠀⢀⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⡄⠀⠀⠀⠻⣿⣏⣀⣀⣀⣠⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧⠀⠀⢀⣀⣤⣤⣿⠋⠀⠀⠀⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣆⠀⠀⠀⠈⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⠁⠀⠀⢀⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣷⣀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠛⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠟⠋⠀⠀⠀⠀⣰⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣄⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠉⠉⠉⠉⠉⠉⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣴⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣤⣄⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⣠⣴⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
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May 2021

Dragon

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⠤⣲⠟⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣠⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡠⠖⠋⢀⠞⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⠜⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡰⠊⠀⠀⡠⠋⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣠⠊⡰⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡼⠁⠀⠀⡜⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⠤⠚⠁⡜⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡇⠀⠀⢸⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣀⣀⠤⠖⠈⠀⠀⢀⡜⠀⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⠔⠓⠲⢤⣸⠒⣊⣭⠛⠉⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣠⢿⡶⠛⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢠⠇⠀⠀⠀⠀⣹⠎⠀⠀⠑⡄⠀⢀⡠⠔⢊⡥⢺⠋⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣠⠎⠀⠀⠀⣠⠞⠁⠀⠀⠀⢀⣾⠋⠁⣠⠞⠁⠀⢸⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢰⠃⠀⡠⠊⡜⠁⠀⠀⠀⢀⡊⠁⠁⠀⢊⡀⠀⠀⠀⣀⣉⣓⣦⡤⠤⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠘⡤⠊⠁⠸⠀⠀⠀⡠⡖⡝⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⢉⡩⠭⠒⢋⡟⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡸⠁⠀⠀⠀⠑⠒⠛⠒⠋⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠘⠤⣀⡀⠈⣇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⠜⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣀⠤⠄⠀⠀⠀⡰⠚⢧⠉⠒⠒⠮⠽⣾⣦⣀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢠⠋⠁⡠⣖⠂⠀⠀⠀⡠⠋⠉⠀⡀⠀⠀⢀⡴⠁⠀⠸⡄⠀⠀⠀⠀⡇⠙⢌⠉⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⠀⠘⠐⠁⣀⡠⠔⠋⣀⣀⡴⠚⠓⡶⣞⣉⣀⣀⡠⢤⠇⠀⠀⠀⢰⣃⡀⠈⢳⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⢧⣀⣠⡊⠁⡀⣠⠞⠁⠀⠀⠀⡜⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡜⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⠀⠈⠑⢄⢳⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠰⣽⢻⡏⠁⠀⠀⠀⢀⠞⠑⠦⠤⠤⠤⠄⡸⠁⠀⠀⠀⢸⠉⣆⠀⠀⠘⡾⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠹⠀⠃⠀⠀⠀⢀⢏⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡰⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⠀⠘⡄⠀⠀⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⠀⠑⠦⠤⠤⠄⢲⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠘⣆⣀⣹
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July 2022

McDonald's BTS Meal

So I was listening to my favorite boy band called 'BTS (I am an army)' on my Samsung earbuds (BTS Edition) using my Samsung Galaxy s20+ (BTS Edition) in my room plastered with BTS poster. Suddenly one of my Army friends (we are BTSSexual and BTSGender) told me that there is a McDonald's BTS meal which almost made me jizz my pants. I ran to McDonald's to buy the BTS meal and came back home. Even though I am an Army (I would have bought their feces if they were selling it), this is intolerable. That was the most uncreative meal ever created. I wish McDonald's would have put Ass-Hair of each members of the band and hidden it in Chicken McNuggets. Like "Hey! I got Jimins Ass-hair in my chicken nuggets! Can't wait to get Kim Teahyung's Ass-hair so I can take his DNA sample and recreate a clone of Kim Teahyung to overrule the world with #Army". bts #army #blm #gaypride #arianagrande
June 2021

spamming copypastas is the worst form of comedy

twitchquotes: Honestly, spamming copypastas is the worst form of comedy to exist on this planet. Instead of original jokes, we just have repetitive trash. As a stand up comedian, I spend hours on my craft making sure I make original jokes. I always leave the comedy club with the hottest bros. Maybe you copypasta people can learn something from me.
twitch chat
October 2020

Wife attack AITA?

I (46M) was having lunch (lasagna) with my side chick (42F) on a lovely day (23°C) when all of a sudden my wife (44F) of 35 years barges in and starts attacking me (46M). Wtf (what the fuck) was she thinking I had been having sex with my side chick (42F) every other weekend it's not like I was doing this every day. She (44F) then starts attacking her (42F) and the wait staff (32M, 26M and 29M) have to intervene. Completely ruined my lunch. AITA?
December 2019

Am I The Asshole?

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