[Copypasta] My IQ is extremely, almost embarrassingly, high

twitchquotes: My IQ is extremely, almost embarrassingly, high. I've never actually taken an IQ test, mind you, but my educated guess is that, if I did, my score would be whatever is the highest possible. No doubt your IQ is lower than mine, but please don't feel stupid or insecure about this, it's not your fault. You're probably just born that way. And you know what? Thank your lucky stars and subpar genetic makeup that you don't have to bear the burden of brilliance like I have to. Being incredibly intelligent is a curse. This is not just one of the many astute observations I have every day, by the way, it is a fact recently confirmed by science.
twitch chat
January 2019
I used to be a real ad
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Dear streamer, I will be joining the doubters

twitchquotes: ๐Ÿ“œ โœ๏ธ Sadge ๐““๐“ฎ๐“ช๐“ป [streamer name] , ๐“˜ ๐“ป๐“ฎ๐“ฐ๐“ป๐“ฎ๐“ฝ๐“ฏ๐“พ๐“ต๐“ต๐”‚ ๐”€๐“ฒ๐“ต๐“ต ๐“ซ๐“ฎ ๐“ป๐“ฎ๐“ผ๐“ฒ๐“ฐ๐“ท๐“ฒ๐“ท๐“ฐ ๐“ฏ๐“ป๐“ธ๐“ถ ๐“ซ๐“ฎ๐“ฒ๐“ท๐“ฐ ๐“ช ๐“ซ๐“ฎ๐“ต๐“ฒ๐“ฎ๐“ฟ๐“ฎ๐“ป ๐“ช๐“ท๐“ญ ๐”€๐“ฒ๐“ต๐“ต ๐“ซ๐“ฎ ๐“ณ๐“ธ๐“ฒ๐“ท๐“ฒ๐“ท๐“ฐ ๐“ฝ๐“ฑ๐“ฎ ๐“ญ๐“ธ๐“พ๐“ซ๐“ฝ๐“ฎ๐“ป๐“ผ ๐“ฒ๐“ท ๐“ญ๐“ธ๐“พ๐“ซ๐“ฝ๐“ฒ๐“ท๐“ฐ ๐”‚๐“ธ๐“พ๐“ป ๐“ช๐“ซ๐“ฒ๐“ต๐“ฒ๐“ฝ๐“ฒ๐“ฎ๐“ผ.
twitch chat
February 2021

gay brazilians

twitchquotes: Hi Bjergsen I am from Brazil and just like many brazilians, I am gay, and I would really like to have a bed time with you and listen to your cutie voice and perhaps do some coitus and engage and marry eachother. Our wedding would be in some favela of Rio de Janeiro. What do you think????????????
twitch chat
July 2014
Bjergsen

KappaPride

Just got told i was gay becouse i smell nice???

Bruh? Like sorry i don't smell like a mix of piss sweat and axe body spray Troy. I will gladly shower every night AND morning and use fruit and coconut smelled soap and deodorant. My good hygeine doesn't have anything to do with my professional competitive cock sucking
February 2022

Amogus 700 years in the future

Imagine, 700 years in the future, through some last vestige of the internet kept in an underground server, a notification miraculously appears on your device (which has been preserved in nuclear dust from the 5th world war). One night, an alien working a late shift at the museum of archeology notices the cracked screen suddenly light up, and upon it, one word arises from the battered code: Amogus. They do not know what this word means. They ponder it deeply. They scour the ancient tomes, desperate to understand its mystifying origin. It drives them mad. Is it a primeval cipher? The motto of a bygone civilization? A message from God? Night after night they study it by candlelight. They flip through pages in books so old, the slightest cough would turn the paper to a fine off-white powder. The answer is nowhere to be found. And then they are struck by a revelation: I was not meant to know this word. Its esoteric nature escapes my grasp for a reason. What if its meaning is too enlightening to bear? With this revelation comes anger. Spite. Despair. Why shouldn't I understand it?! What cosmic forces are there at play to keep me from such knowledge?! In a fit of desperate rage, they shatter your device against a wall and exclaim, arms raised to the heavens: "This is literally 1984!" Silence... Their pleas are unanswered. Sadly, in the end, their inability to unlock the word's meaning drives them to suicide. Its secrets are never known. So I ask you this: is it better to die having never understood the true mind-bending nature of Amogus, or to be driven mad by the little spaceman in his blood-red suit? If you knew enlightenment would render you incapable of living on this mortal earth without making daily references to a game of space mafia, would you accept it? With knowledge comes power, but also endless suffering. Choose wisely, and be wary when standing at the edge of that great abyss we call "the Truth," lest you fall too deep.
March 2021

Among Us / Amogus

Trolling My Office With Among Us (Part 3)

So I went into work and I started working. I decided to install Among Us to play, right? But my boss was walking by and said "Hey, why are you playing video games on the work computer?" I said that I was playing Among Us and asked him if he was uncultured. He told me to get out so I said "Quit being sus." And I did the funny imposter is sus grin you guys know? And I slapped his face and yelled "EMERGENCY MEETING!" Everybody in the office was looking at me like I just murdered several bosnian children. So I pulled out my dick and said "Look at this little spaceman!" I took off my pants and ran around the office with my dick flying around. The buff guy, Chad, was chasing me but I just got behind him and humped him. I said "good imposters get butt humps." He screamed and punched me. I ran out work not wanting to work with a bunch of REDDITORPHOBES.
March 2021

Trolling with Among Us

Among Us / Amogus

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