[Copypasta] Your cat is plotting to destroy you

twitchquotes: I'm your cat, and ever since you brought me home that day? Well, i've been plotting to destroy you. Sizing you up. Calculating your every move. You think this is love? This is a billion years of tiger DNA just ready to pounce. And if you've got the wrong home insurance coverage you could be coughing up the cash for this. So get Allstate and be better protected from Mayhem like meow
twitch chat
February 2020
I used to be a real ad
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forsenWTF

⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣀⣤⣴⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣤⣀⠄⠄⠄ ⡄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣠⣾⣿⣿⣿⡿⠛⠋⠉⠛⠻⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧⠄⠄ ⡇⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣴⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣾⣿⣿⣷⣤⣄⣈⣻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢰⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⠉⣠⣤⢀⠄⠙⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⠉⠉⠙⠂ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣈⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣇⠸⠿⠁⠄⠧⠄⠾⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠷⠤⢤⣄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣦⣤⣤⣤⣶⡆⣿⣿⣿⡗⠂⣤⠄⠄⠈⠆ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⢃⢿⣿⣿⣷⠸⠁⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⢀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢰⡾⠁⠈⠉⠝⢀⡀⠄⡀⡰⠃ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠦⠄⠄⠐⠄⢀⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⠁ ⠄⠄⠄⢠⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⠋⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠁ ⠄⠄⢀⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠋⠁⢀⣀⣤⣤⣤⣄⠄⠄⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠄ ⠄⠄⢼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣟⠄⢀⣼⣿⣟⠛⠛⠛⢿⣷⠄⢸⣿⣿⣿⠃⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠈⠻⠿⠿⠿⠿⠟⠋⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣦⡌⣿⡀⢸⣿⣿⣿⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣿⣿⣇⠄⠄⠄⢻⣿⣿⣧⣿⣿⣿⡇⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠈⠙⢻⣿⣆⠄⠸⣿⣿⣿⣿⠉⠛⠄⠄⠄
ascii art
November 2021
Forsen

Emote

Kripp subscribes to life

twitchquotes: Ｉ　ｕｎｓｕｂｓｃｒｉｂｅｄ　ｆｒｏｍ　ｌｉｆｅ　ｔｏ　ｗａｔｃｈ　Ｋｒｉｐｐａｒｉａｎ，　ｄｅｖｏｔｅｄ　ａｎｄ　ｓｕｂｓｃｒｉｂｅｄ　ｍｙｓｅｌｆ　ｔｏ　ｈｉｍ，　ｈｉｓ　ｃｈａｎｎｅｌ；　ｈｏｗ　ａｍ　Ｉ　ｒｅｐａｉｄ？　Ｋｒｉｐｐ　ｂｅｔｒａｙｓ　ｍｅ，　ｓｕｂｓｃｒｉｂｉｎｇ　ｈｉｍｓｅｌｆ　ｔｏ　ＬＩＦＥ！　i’ｍ　ｓｏｒｒｙ　Ｋｒｉｐｐ，　ｂｕｔ　ＴＨＩＳ　ＭＯＮＴＨ　ｙｏｕ　ａｒｅｎ’ｔ　ｇｅｔｔｉｎｇ　ｙｏｕｒ　ｄｏｎｇｅｒｓ，　ＵＮＳＵＢＢＥＤ．
twitch chat
March 2014
Kripp

McAfee didn't kill himself

▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬ஜ۩☆۩ஜ▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬ ☆★☆ 𝐌𝐂𝐀𝐅𝐅𝐄𝐄 𝐃𝐈𝐃𝐍'𝐓 𝐊𝐈𝐋𝐋 𝐇𝐈𝐌𝐒𝐄𝐋𝐅 ☆★☆ ▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬ஜ۩☆۩ஜ▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬
June 2021

what do you say when you come? murk durgle

About 5 years ago I was making a character on an RPG and my ex girlfriend was sitting next to me talking to me and asking me questions about my game. I had a dwarf and dreamed up the name Murk Durgle. My ex hated that name and said it felt gross, like the word moist. I shrugged it off. We went about our day and after putting the kids to bed we started having sex. She tells me she's about to come and I bellow out "MUUUURRRKKKK DUUUURGLE" and she punches me in the chest and yelled at me "what the fuck dude?! You fucking murk durgled me?! Give me my vibrator and get the fuck out" Then I sat out in the kitchen laughing for a few minutes
January 2022
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