[Copypasta] Your cat is plotting to destroy you

twitchquotes: I'm your cat, and ever since you brought me home that day? Well, i've been plotting to destroy you. Sizing you up. Calculating your every move. You think this is love? This is a billion years of tiger DNA just ready to pounce. And if you've got the wrong home insurance coverage you could be coughing up the cash for this. So get Allstate and be better protected from Mayhem like meow
twitch chat
February 2020
What happened to this ad? :(
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Mitch is the type of dude who...

Mitch McConnell shaves his face with the same razor he shaves his nuts and butt hole Mitch the type of guy to put on sunglasses to get another free sample at Costco Mitch the type of guy that says "you too" when the waitress tells him to enjoy his meal. Mitch the kinda guy to leave β€œsmile more” on the tip section of a receipt Mitch is the type of dude who says "Ni Hao" to the waiter at a Thai restaurant Mitch the type of guy to shower then shit Mitch McConnell claps when the plane lands Mitch is the type of dude who thinks crest toothpaste is spicy Mitch the kind of guy that uses self checkout with a full cart.
December 2020

WallStreetBets

You ACTUALLY consider yourself to be a TRUE hip hop fan?!

You ACTUALLY consider yourself to be a TRUE hip hop fan?!? HA! Let me guess, you listen to basic trap trash like Lil Baby, Gunna, Trippie Redd, DaBaby, Roddy Rich, Young Thug, Travis Scott, A$AP Rocky, Kanye West, Lil Uzi Vert, and Playboi Carti. I would never touch that garbage. You see, I listen to REAL HIP HOP: BROCKHAMPTON, Denzel Curry, and Tyler, the Creator. You really think those artists would ever take influence let alone ever listen to those GARBAGE artists?!?!?!?!? NEVER.
January 2022

Rania's a DongDigger

twitchquotes: [Μ²Μ…$Μ²Μ…(Μ²Μ… Ν‘Β° ΝœΚ– Ν‘Β°Μ²Μ…)Μ²Μ…$Μ²Μ…] I ain't saying Rania's a DongDigger, but she ain't messin with no broke krippers [Μ²Μ…$Μ²Μ…(Μ²Μ… Ν‘Β° ΝœΚ– Ν‘Β°Μ²Μ…)Μ²Μ…$Μ²Μ…]
twitch chat
March 2014
Kripp

Just dropped down to say, I forgor

β–¬β–¬β–¬β–¬β–¬.β—™.β–¬β–¬β–¬β–¬β–¬ β–‚β–„β–„β–“β–„β–„β–‚ β—’β—€β–ˆβ–€β–€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–„β–„β–„β–„β–„β–„ β—’β—€ β–ˆβ–„ β–ˆ β–ˆβ–„ β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–€β–€β–€β–€β–€β–€β–€ ╬ β—₯ β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆ β—€ ══╩══╩═ ╬═╬ ╬═╬ just dropped down to say ╬═╬ ╬═╬ I forgor ╬═╬ πŸ’€/ ╬═╬ /β–Œ ╬═╬ / \
ascii art
October 2021

I forgor

Kripp thinks that milk is bad for you

twitchquotes: My dad drank milk his whole life. One day my mom told him "If u want to see ur children graduate, u have to stop" 3 years later he died of calcium deficiency. My mom told me "Dont drink milk; dont put your family through this" At 24, I have never touched a glass of milk. I must say, I feel a sense of regret, because watching Kripp play Hearthstone gave me calcium deficiency anyway.
twitch chat
October 2014
Kripp
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