[Copypasta] Your cat is plotting to destroy you

twitchquotes: I'm your cat, and ever since you brought me home that day? Well, i've been plotting to destroy you. Sizing you up. Calculating your every move. You think this is love? This is a billion years of tiger DNA just ready to pounce. And if you've got the wrong home insurance coverage you could be coughing up the cash for this. So get Allstate and be better protected from Mayhem like meow
twitch chat
February 2020
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas

Every E-Sport needs their clown

twitchquotes: Every E-Sport needs their clown. We are privileged to have someone like Kripp in the Hearthstone community.
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Having Carpe on Fusion is unsustainable for the team

twitchquotes: Having Carpe on Fusion is unsustainable for the team. He will eventually bring the rest of the team down. No matter how much Fusion invests in this team, they will never be able to afford the aquarium to keep Carpe at optimal performance. It is the sad reality of signing a fish, but Fusion will soon learn.
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April 2018
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JUSTICE RAINS FROM ABOVE

twitchquotes: ヽJUSTICE`、`RAINSヽ`ヽヽ☂ PogChamp ☂ ヽヽFROMヽ`ヽ`、`ABOVEヽ`
twitch chat
February 2017

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Twelve days of gachi

twitchquotes: gachiGASM On the Twelfth day of Christmas my true love gave to me gachiGASM 12 slaves in bondage gachiGASM 11 Pairs of shackles gachiGASM 10 12-inch dildos gachiGASM 9 boys next door gachiGASM 8 brand new whips gachiGASM 7 hydra dicks gachiGASM 6 hot loads gachiGASM 5 wrestling mats gachiGASM 4 suction masks gachiGASM 3 fisting sessions gachiGASM 2 billy figures gachiGASM And a signed autograph from aniki gachiGASM
twitch chat
April 2019
Forsen

KappaPride

What did you just say about my positions

twitchquotes: What the fuck did you just fucking say about my positions, you little bitch? I'll have you know I graduated top of my class in the Wharton Business School, and I've been involved in numerous insider trades on Alibaba, and I have over 30,000% returns. I am trained in trading on margarine and I'm the top trader in the Bridgewater Associates. You are nothing to me but just another pump before I dump. I will wipe your gains the fuck out with swiftness the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my fucking words. You think you can get away with saying that shit to me over the Internet? Think again, fucker. As we speak I am contacting my network of brokers across the USA and your brokerage account is being traced right now so you better prepare for red dildos, faggot. The dildos that wipe out the pathetic little thing you call tendies. You're fucking broke, kid. I can manipulate any stock, anytime, and I can bankrupt you in over seven hundred ways, and that's just with my market manipulation. Not only am I extensively trained in pumping and dumping, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the SEC and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable portfolio off the face of robinhood, you little shit. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little "clever" comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your fucking tongue. But you couldn't, you didn't, and now you're paying the price, you goddamn idiot. I will shit red dildos all over you and you will drown in them. You're fucking broke, kiddo.
twitch chat
September 2020
Text-to-Speech Playing