[Copypasta] Your cat is plotting to destroy you

twitchquotes: I'm your cat, and ever since you brought me home that day? Well, i've been plotting to destroy you. Sizing you up. Calculating your every move. You think this is love? This is a billion years of tiger DNA just ready to pounce. And if you've got the wrong home insurance coverage you could be coughing up the cash for this. So get Allstate and be better protected from Mayhem like meow
twitch chat
February 2020
I used to be a real ad
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Chocolate Rain Copypasta

twitchquotes: ヽヽ｀ヽ｀、ヽヽ｀ヽ｀、ヽヽ｀ヽ、ヽヽ｀ヽ｀、ヽヽ｀ヽ｀、｀、ヽヽ｀ヽ｀、ヽヽ｀ヽ｀、ヽヽ｀ヽ｀、ヽヽ｀ヽ｀、ヽヽ｀ヽ｀、ヽヽ｀ヽ｀、ヽヽ༼ຈل͜ຈ༽ﾉ chocolate rain ヽ༼ຈل͜ຈ༽ﾉ ヽ｀ヽ｀、ヽヽ｀ヽ｀、｀ヽ｀、ヽヽ｀ヽ｀、ヽヽ｀ヽ、ヽヽ｀ヽ
twitch chat
February 2015
TayZondayGames

How do I properly get rid of a life size sex doll?

I bought a $1000+ sex doll which weighs almost 100 pounds and has a metal skeleton and silicone outside. It's like 5'3 and looks very realistic. I bought it when I was drunk like 2 years ago and didn't cancel the order the next day as I forgot I even ordered it; it showed up on my doorstep like 10 days later in a huge box... I tried to use it once but it is impossible to use because its so cold lol. I have it buried under clothes that I don't wear anymore in my walk-in closet for almost 2 years and every time I have a girl over I have to keep the closet locked and I even have to tell my cleaner to clean all rooms aside from my walk-in closet as I am embarrassed by it. I NEVER litter but I don't know what to do with it. I really want to put it in the back of my truck and dump it in the woods somewhere but I know that is a shit thing to do and will not do it. How can I dispose of it in a environmentally safe way without driving to a dump and looking like I am disposing of a dead body or having the workers laugh at me? I can't cut it up into pieces and put it into trash bags as the skeleton is metal and I just don't have the tools to do it; its a really legit sex doll it is super high quality. My apartment complex has a huge dumpster but its all on camera; should I just go there super late at night and throw it in there? The dumpster is on camera and its for "trash only" it says no metal and no boxes. Anyone have an answer on how to dispose of this thing by myself, quietly and without anyone seeing me? Thanks !! EDIT: Lots of weirdos getting angry at me because I "fabricated this" story/question. She just got a (SFW) photo shoot for you so shut up. https://ibb.co/album/xKkCs1
July 2021

Surprised Shrek

⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⠟⠫⢻⣿⣿⣿⣿⢟⣩⡍⣙⠛⢛⣿⣿⣿⠛⠛⠛⠛⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⢿⣿ ⣿⠤⠄⠄⠙⢿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠿⠛⠛⢛⣧⣿⠇⠄⠂⠄⠄⠄⠘⣿⣿⣿⣿⠁⠄⢻ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣄⣾⣿⢟⣼⠒⢲⡔⣺⣿⣧⠄⠄⣠⠤⢤⡀⠄⠟⠉⣠⣤⣤⣤⣾ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣟⣀⣬⣵⣿⣿⣿⣶⡤⠙⠄⠘⠃⠄⣴⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⢻⠿⢿⣿⣿⠿⠋⠁⠄⠂⠉⠒⢘⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⣡⣷⣶⣤⣤⣀⡀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⣸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣦⣰⠄⠄⠄⠄⢾⠿⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⡿⠋⣡⣾⣿⣿⣿⡟⠉⠉⠈⠉⠉⠉⠉⠉⠄⠄⠄⠑⠄⠄⠐⡇⠄⠈⠙⠛⠋ ⠋⠄⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢠⡇⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣯⠄⢠⡀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠁⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠁⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣯⣧⣬⣿⣤⣐⣂⣄⣀⣠⡴⠖⠈⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠈⠈⣿⣟⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣽⣉⡉⠉⠈⠁⠄⠁⠄⠄⠄⠄⡂⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠙⣿⣿⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⡤⠈⠉⠉⠁⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠠⠔⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⡈⢿⣷⣿⣿⢿⣿⣿⣷⡦⢤⡀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢐⣠⡿⠁⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄
ascii art
May 2019

Shrek

Create awarness of the many homeless people in the USA

twitchquotes: Hello @imaqtpie :) I really appreciate your honorable try to create awarness of the many homeless people in the USA. But one thing, dressing up as one is a little bit to much, isn't it?
twitch chat
March 2018
imaqtpie

Meet Swampletics, my Morytania locked ultimate ironman

twitchquotes: Meet Swampletics, my Morytania locked ultimate ironman. After recently maxing my ultimate ironman I decided to up the ante, and forge my own journey from scratch. No banking, no trading, but this time I can't leave Morytania.
twitch chat
March 2019
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