[Copypasta] Your cat is plotting to destroy you

twitchquotes: I'm your cat, and ever since you brought me home that day? Well, i've been plotting to destroy you. Sizing you up. Calculating your every move. You think this is love? This is a billion years of tiger DNA just ready to pounce. And if you've got the wrong home insurance coverage you could be coughing up the cash for this. So get Allstate and be better protected from Mayhem like meow
twitch chat
February 2020
(▀̿Ĺ̯├┬┴┬┴ Psst... kid, you wanna disable adblock?
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You have been warned!

twitchquotes: Excuse me but how dare you guys do this to me? Last week i wrote a beautiful story here on twitch chat and people just started stealing it and posting it as their own. If this continues i'll be forced to take action. You have been warned!
twitch chat
August 2018

I hate Twitch Chat

Sesame Street Celebrity Recruitment Department

twitchquotes: Hello Kripparian. Its Becky from the Sesame Street Celebrity Recruitment Department. Although "E-Sports" has indeed become mainstream, we unfortunately have declined your application to be on an episode of Sesame Street. We have already filmed the episode where "K" is the letter of the day. Thank you for your interest.
twitch chat
October 2015
Kripp

Kripp's kidney stone surgery

twitchquotes: There was a heated discussion among the medical experts gathered around an operating table, on which laid an unconscious Romanian man in his 30s. "The salt levels are off the charts!" exclaimed a cardiologist. The head surgeon sighs, "I guess this is what you get when you combine a vegan diet and a sedentary lifestyle playing a children's card game." Upon those words the body suddenly stirs, from which a muted voice barely croaks, "Tell...Rania...not to press...the button".
twitch chat
September 2016
Kripp

FREE CHAT FROM SLOW MODE

⠀⣿⠛⠛⠛⠃⠀⣿⡟⠛⠛⣿⡆⠀⣿⡟⠛⠛⠛⠃⠀⣿⠛⠛⠛⠛ ⠀⣿⣦⣤⣤⠀⠀⣿⣷⣤⣶⡿⠃⠀⣿⣷⣤⣤⣤⠀⠀⣿⣦⣤⣤⡤ ⠀⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⡇⠈⢻⣧⡀⠀⣿⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿ ⠀⠛⠀⣀⣀⠀⠀⠛⠃⠀⠀⠙⠓⠀⠛⠛⠛⠛⠛⠃⠀⠛⠛⠛⠛⠛ ⠀⣴⠟⠛⠛⣷⡄⠀⣿⡇⠀⠀⢸⡇⠀⠀⢰⡿⢿⡄⠀⠘⠛⢻⣿⠛⠛ ⢸⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⣷⣤⣤⣾⡇⠀⢀⣿⠃⠸⣿⡀⠀⠀⢸⣿ ⠘⣿⣄⠀⢀⣴⡆⠀⣿⡇⠀⠀⢹⡇⠀⣼⡿⠿⠿⢿⣧⠀⠀⢸⣿ ⠀⠈⠛⠛⠛⠋⠀⠀⠛⠃⠀⠀⠘⠃⠐⠛⣀⣀⡀⠈⠛⠂⠀⠘⠛ ⠀⣿⠛⠛⠛⠃⠀⣿⡟⠛⠛⣿⡆⠀⣰⡿⠛⠛⠻⣶⡀⠀⣿⣿⡄⠀⣸⣿⡇ ⠀⣿⣦⣤⣤⠀⠀⣿⣷⣤⣶⡿⠃⠀⣿⡇⠀⠀⠀⣿⡇⠀⣿⠻⣧⢀⡿⢸⡇ ⠀⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⡇⠈⢻⣧⡀⠀⢿⣇⠀⠀⢀⣿⠇⠀⣿⠀⢿⣾⡇⢸⡇ ⠀⠛⣀⣀⡀⠀⠀⠛⠃⠀⠀⠙⠓⠀⠈⢛⣻⣿⠛⠉⠀⠀⠛⠀⠘⠛⠀⠘⠃ ⢀⣾⠛⠛⢻⣦⠀⢸⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣾⠟⠛⠛⢷⣄⠀⣿⡄⠀⣾⣿⡇⠀⢸⡟ ⠀⠻⣷⣶⣤⣀⠀⢸⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⡏⠀⠀⠀⢸⣿⠀⢹⣧⢰⡿⠘⣷⠀⣿⠃ ⢠⣤⠀⠈⢹⣿⠀⢸⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠸⣷⡀⠀⠀⣸⡿⠀⠘⣿⣾⠇⠀⢻⣿⡟ ⠀⠙⠻⠿⠛⠋⠀⠘⠛⠛⠛⣛⣃⡀⠙⠛⠿⠟⠋⠀⠀⠀⠛⠛⠀⠀⠘⠛⠃ ⠀⣿⣿⡀⠀⣼⣿⡇⠀⣰⡿⠛⠛⠻⣶⡀⠀⣿⡟⠛⠻⣷⡄⠀⣿⡟⠛⠛⠛⠃ ⠀⣿⠸⣇⢰⡿⢻⡇⠀⣿⡇⠀⠀⠀⣿⡇⠀⣿⡇⠀⠀⢹⣷⠀⣿⣷⣤⣤⣤⠀ ⠀⣿⠀⢿⣿⠇⢸⡇⠀⢿⣇⠀⠀⢀⣿⠇⠀⣿⡇⠀⢀⣾⡏⠀⣿⡇ ⠀⠛⠀⠘⠛⠀⠘⠃⠀⠈⠛⠻⠿⠛⠉⠀⠀⠛⠛⠛⠛⠋⠀⠀⠛⠛⠛⠛⠛⠃
ascii art
September 2020

GivePlz

⡿⠿⠛⠋⠉⠁⠀⠀⣀⣀⣀⠀⠉⠉⠛⠻⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⠀⢀⣤⣶⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣦⣄⡈⠙⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣦⡈⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣯⡉⠙⠻⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢿⣦⠈⢻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡆⠀⠀⢻⣿⣿⣿⣿⡆⠈⢳⡄⠹⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠈⢿⣿⣿⣿⣷⠖⠀⠀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣄⠀⣿⡄⠘⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣇⠀⢄⡙⠋⠻⡄⠀⣼⣿⣿⣿⣩⠟⠟⠀⣼⣿⡄⠹⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣦⣭⣤⣤⣴⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣦⣴⣿⣿⣷⠀⠛⠻⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠿⠿⠿⢿⣿⣿⣶⣶⣶⣶⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢰⣶⣄⠈ ⣏⣉⣛⣛⣛⣛⣥⣶⣾⣿⣿⣿⣷⡝⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢸⣿⣿⡇ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢸⣿⠟⠀ ⡇⢻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⢋⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⠈⠁⢀⣼ ⡇⠀⠹⣿⣿⣿⡿⠿⠛⣋⣥⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠃⠀⣾⣿⣿
ascii art
May 2019
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