[Copypasta] Your cat is plotting to destroy you

twitchquotes: I'm your cat, and ever since you brought me home that day? Well, i've been plotting to destroy you. Sizing you up. Calculating your every move. You think this is love? This is a billion years of tiger DNA just ready to pounce. And if you've got the wrong home insurance coverage you could be coughing up the cash for this. So get Allstate and be better protected from Mayhem like meow
twitch chat
February 2020
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More Copypastas

Knight from the Order of Cut Pasta

twitchquotes: <:::::[]=ΰΌΌΰΊˆΩ„ΝœΰΊˆΰΌ½οΎ‰ I am a Knight from the Order of Cut Pasta. I am sworn to slicerino all Copy Pasta, my enemy by oath. I shall do battle with this Demon, stand back and have no fear Moderino. To this most foul manifestation of Copy Pasta, retreat sour beast or taste my blade in combat. <:::::[]=ΰΌΌΰΊˆΩ„ΝœΰΊˆΰΌ½οΎ‰
twitch chat
March 2015
imaqtpie

Press CTRL + W to prove you are not a bot

twitchquotes: β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€” imGlitch The Twitch Anti-Bot Algorithm(TM) has detected you may be a bot. Please press the A key on your keyboard and then press the key combo CTRL + W to prove you are not a bot.β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”
twitch chat
May 2019

im gigalooted

twitchquotes: qtpDANCE on me qtpDANCE hes one hit qtpDANCE hes lit qtpDANCE hes no armor qtpDANCE im fucking running qtpDANCE im dead as fuck qtpDANCE im far as fuck from you guys qtpDANCE im gigalooted qtpDANCE
twitch chat
August 2019
imaqtpie

⚠️WARNING⚠️ cock inspection is NOT required at the vaccination sites!!!! don't be tricked like me!!

So I was waiting in line to receive my vaccine when all of a sudden this medical "official" came up to me and said that there was something wrong with my patient registration and asked me to follow him to the back. When we went around back he said that I had to take off my pants and show my cock because penis size is the most accurate way to confirm patient identity. Because I thought he was a medical official I swiftly removed my pants and underwear to show him my member. After he fondled it for a bit he said it was good and I could go back into the line. It was only after I received the vaccine I realized that he forgot to check my balls too!!! He was obviously not certified to check such an area and I immediately contacted the security guards about his presence. Please do not fall for any tricks like I did! stay safe and happy vaccinating!
August 2021

Coronavirus

COVID

Vaccines

NINJA SUBS = haHAA

twitchquotes: NINJA = haHAA NINJA SUBS = haHAA
twitch chat
March 2018
Ninja
Text-to-Speech Playing