[Copypasta] Your cat is plotting to destroy you

twitchquotes: I'm your cat, and ever since you brought me home that day? Well, i've been plotting to destroy you. Sizing you up. Calculating your every move. You think this is love? This is a billion years of tiger DNA just ready to pounce. And if you've got the wrong home insurance coverage you could be coughing up the cash for this. So get Allstate and be better protected from Mayhem like meow
twitch chat
February 2020
(▀̿Ĺ̯├┬┴┬┴ Psst... kid, you wanna disable adblock?
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AITA for not showing up to my own funeral?

So I (74M) was recently hit by a car (2014 Honda) and died. My wife (5F) organized me a funeral (cost $2747) without asking me (74M) at all. I (74M) was unable to make it because I (74M) was dead (17 days). At the funeral I heard my dad (15M) and other family members talking about how they wish I could be there and now I feel bad for not showing up. AITA?
August 2021

AITA

Dear Michael: This is the Meta Police

twitchquotes: Dear Michael: This is the Meta Police. You are in violation of Penal Code 420: Not Playing The Meta. You are hereby sentenced to 69 years in jail with Scarra and Dyrone.
twitch chat
October 2014
imaqtpie

OkaygeBusiness

⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠛⢉⡡⠔⠒⠒⠈⢽⣿⢋⠔⠋⠁⠈⠉⠙⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠟⠋⠀⠀⢀⠊⠀⢠⣶⣄⠀⠀⠙⠇⠀⢸⣿⠦⡀⠀⠈⠻ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠟⠋⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠂⠀⠀⣾⠏⢻⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠘⣿⣤⠇⠀⠀⢀ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠋⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡶⡀⠀⠿⠶⠋⠀⠀⠀⢀⡦⣀⣀⣀⣀⣤⣶⣮ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⠉⠀⠀⢀⡀⠀⢀⣀⠀⠀⠀⢠⡄⠀⢻⡘⠦⣀⠀⠀⠀⣀⡴⠛⢷⣌⣉⣉⣩⠽⠛⠙ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⠁⠀⠀⠀⢰⠃⠀⣀⠀⠈⠳⣀⠀⠀⠙⠲⠤⣭⡷⠶⠶⠞⠋⠁⠀⠀⠀⠈⠻⠉⠀⠀⠀⣠ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠸⡄⠀⠘⢦⣀⠀⠈⠓⠲⠤⢄⣀⣀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣀⡠⠤⠒⠋⢹⣟ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠳⣄⠀⠀⠈⠳⢦⣄⣀⡀⠀⠀⠀⠁⠈⠉⠉⠉⠉⢉⣉⣁⣀⠠⠤⠤⣾⣿⣾ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠟⠉⠉⠉⠉⠙⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠓⠤⣀⡀⠀⠀⠈⠉⠉⠙⠙⠛⠛⠋⠉⠉⠉⠁⠀⠀⣀⣠⣤⢾⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠏⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠉⠙⠒⠲⠶⠤⠤⠤⠤⠤⠴⠖⠒⢚⣉⣽⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡏⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢠⡶⠀⠀⠀⠀⢳⡦⠄⢀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡠⠰⠶⠚⠋⢹⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠶⢤⣤⣀⣀⣠⣿⣀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⣀⣀⣀⣀⡀⠀⠀⢂⠀⠀⠀⡔⠀⠀⢢⡀⠀⢠⠃⠀⠀⠀⣀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⠛⢋⣹⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣤⠿⠶⢦⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠉⠉⣩⡟⠁⠀⠀⢧⡀⠀⢱⣤⣤⠃⠀⡶⠁⢀⣠⠶⠛⠉⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⠀⣿⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡉⢹⡇⢸⡆⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣾⣋⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⢧⢀⡎⠀⠈⣤⡜⠀⠀⠉⢻⡦⠀⠀⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⠉⠉⢹⠀⡟⠙⢿⣄⠀⣦⣀⣠⠔⠋⠙⣇⣸⠛⠛⠛⣻⣶⡄⠀⠈⠛⢦⣄⠀⠀⠘⣿⠁⠀⣠⠏⠀⠀⢀⠴⠋⠀⠀⠀⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⠤⠤⠬⠿⠥⠤⠤⠬⠭⠭⠭⠤⠤⠤⠤⠭⠥⠤⢤⣾⠟⠈⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠳⣄⠀⠸⣦⡴⠃⠀⣠⠶⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢰⡿⠀⠀⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⢳⣄⢻⣇⣤⠞⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⣀⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡇⠀⠀⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠙⣾⡏⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⠀⠀⠀⠤⠤⠤⠜⠀⡄⠀⢠⡠⠤⠤⠤⠤⠄⠀⢤⡇⠀⠀⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡇⠀⠀⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
ascii art
October 2021

Pepe

MrDestructoid ERROR public static void

twitchquotes: MrDestructoid Anyone who thinks mobile games can't be amazing has never played Art of Conquest! My friends are all having a blast already, and I'll be joining them right away! I'll also be subscribing to Kripp's channel to stay up to date! MrDestructoid ERROR public static void WaitTime(NULL)
twitch chat
June 2017
Kripp

Viewbots

Padoru 2

PADORU PADORU ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⡄⡀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⢀⠔⠚⣿⡿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠃⠀⠄⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠂⠀⠀⠈⠀⢸⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠟⠁⠀⠀⠈⡄⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠡⡀⠀⠀⢀⠌⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⠃⠀ ⠀⠀⠸⠑⣌⡉⠉⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⠔⠁⡆⠀ ⠀⢀⠇⠀⢸⡭⡷⡶⢤⡤⣤⣀⣀⣀⢠⡤⢤⡶⣾⢡⠀⠀⢠⠀ ⠀⢸⠀⠀⢸⢳⣦⣷⣇⣱⠁⢧⠟⡜⣈⣆⣦⣧⣯⢾⠀⠀⢸⠀ ⢠⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⣿⣿⡏⠀⠀⠀⠀⢹⣿⣿⣿⠁⠀⠀⠀⢸⡆ ⢠⡇⠀⠀⡄⠰⣿⣿⣿⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠸⣿⣿⣿⠃⠀⡀⠀⢸⠇ ⣿⣇⠀⠀⡃⠀⠻⠿⠟⠀⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠻⠿⠟⠀⠀⠇⢀⣿⣦ ⢉⣿⣤⡄⣱⣄⡀⠀⠀⢰⠀⠀⠀⠀⠃⠀⠀⠀⣠⡌⠀⣼⣿⠋ ⠈⠁⠠⢤⢗⡨⠽⠉⠐⣾⣶⣶⣶⣶⣷⣶⣌⣿⣿⣤⡼⠟⠋⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠘⠅⠀⠀⠀⣽⣿⡿⢿⣿⣿⠛⠉⠉⠁⠋⠀⠀⠀⠀
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December 2018
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