[Copypasta] Your cat is plotting to destroy you

twitchquotes: I'm your cat, and ever since you brought me home that day? Well, i've been plotting to destroy you. Sizing you up. Calculating your every move. You think this is love? This is a billion years of tiger DNA just ready to pounce. And if you've got the wrong home insurance coverage you could be coughing up the cash for this. So get Allstate and be better protected from Mayhem like meow
twitch chat
February 2020
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas

Space Invaders

โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–„โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–„โ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–„โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–„โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–„โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–„โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–„โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–„โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–ˆโ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–ˆโ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–ˆโ–€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–€โ–ˆโ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–€โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–ˆโ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–ˆโ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–€โ–‘โ–€โ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–‘โ–€โ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–€โ–‘โ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–„โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–„โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–„โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–„โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–„โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–„โ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–„โ–„โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–„โ–„โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–€โ–„โ–€โ–€โ–„โ–€โ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–„โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–„โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–€โ–„โ–„โ–€โ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–‘โ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–‘โ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–„โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘
September 2021

Guys I am worried after what my homie did

twitchquotes: Guys I am worried after what my homie did. Me and my homie were bored one day so we got together and always said no homo. We adopted 2 kids and have spent 1 year together and we are engaged and getting married. So one day I am feeling horny and I go to my homie and we fuck, it's good, and I said no homo. 6 minutes in I notice his socks aren't on and then it hits me, he didn't say no homo I am shocked. I asked him to say no homo but he ignored me. Is he gay? Am I gay? How do I tell the kids that?
twitch chat
April 2020

KappaPride

Partake in the wonderment that is the McGriddle

twitchquotes: I can only assume from your cavalier attitude that you have yet to partake in the wonderment that is the McGriddle. Let me enlighten you. What happens is the One True God grows them on trees in the Elysian Fields using a heretofore unused incantation. He then proceeds to magic them down to your local eatery where whatever Ghetto Bastard cook your McDonalds has rescued from welfare that week proceeds to wrap it in cellophane and pass it along to you, the fortunate consumer. You proceed to ingest this finery in the vain hope that your obviously overmatched taste buds can somehow grasp the delectable intricacies it is suddenly faced with. Is that egg? Why yes it is, and bacon too. But wait-they didn't add... yes they did, yes they did indeed. They added cheese. And then, then my friends, they wrap it in a sumptuous pancake bun! As your taste buds try to process that amazing piece of information, IT hits them...the syrup nugget. THE MOTHERFUCKING SYRUP NUGGET! It announces itself with a burst of confectionery grandiosity the likes of which your palate has never seen.
twitch chat
April 2020

Dear Kripparian, how dare you

twitchquotes: Dear Kripparian, how dare you... I have dedicated my life to Hearthstone. I am a proud Hearthstoner and so are the rest of your fans. You cannot betray us and start playing a Hearthstone competitor. I can fall asleep to your HS streams because of how casual it is, but this game is too complicated and it keeps me awake. If you betray us we will rise up, you have been warned.
twitch chat
November 2018
Kripp

Hearthstone

YOUโ€™VE BEEN FREAKING HIT BY THE KAWAII TRUCK

YOUโ€™VE BEEN FREAKING HIT BY THE |^^^^^^^^^^^^](๏พ‰โ—•ใƒฎโ—•)๏พ‰*:๏ฝฅ๏พŸโœง | KAWAII TRUCK | โ€˜|โ€โ€œโ€;.., ___. |_โ€ฆ_โ€ฆ______===|= _|__|โ€ฆ, ] | โ€(@ )โ€™(@ )โ€โ€œโ€โ€œ*|(@ )(@ )*****(@ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€โŠ‚๏ผˆ๏พŸะ”๏พŸโŠ‚โŒ’๏ผ‰ NO KAWAII TRUCK NO!!! MOTHERFUCKER ONCE YOU'VE BEEN HIT, YOU HAVE TO HIT EIGHT FUCKING KAWAII ASS PEOPLE! IF YOU GET HIT AGAIN YOUโ€™LL KNOW YOU'RE REALLY SO FUCKING KAWAII IT'S SO FUCKING SUGOI PEOPLE WILL PISS THEIR PANTS AND SHIT BRICKS AND YOU WILL BE THE MOTHERFUCKING LORD OF THE MOTHERFUCKING KAWAII! IF YOU BREAK THIS MOTHERFUCKING CHAIN, YOU'LL BE CURSED WITH UNKAWAIINESS AND SHITTINESS FOR 9000 YEARS SO PASS IT; HIT WHO EVER YOU THINK IS KAWAII.
October 2021

Weebs

Anime

Text-to-Speech Playing