[Copypasta] Your cat is plotting to destroy you

twitchquotes: I'm your cat, and ever since you brought me home that day? Well, i've been plotting to destroy you. Sizing you up. Calculating your every move. You think this is love? This is a billion years of tiger DNA just ready to pounce. And if you've got the wrong home insurance coverage you could be coughing up the cash for this. So get Allstate and be better protected from Mayhem like meow
twitch chat
February 2020
I used to be a real ad
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Kappa clap

twitchquotes: Kappa //
twitch chat
May 2017

ULU

twitchquotes: โ–‘โ–’โ–“โ–ˆโ–ˆ โ–ˆโ–„โ–ˆ โ–ˆโ–„โ–„ โ–ˆโ–„โ–ˆ โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–“โ–’โ–‘
twitch chat
July 2016
Kripp

I have noticed that, although this planet has 3.8 billion women, I have not had sex 3.8 billion times.

I have noticed that, although this planet has 3.8 billion women, I have not had sex 3.8 billion times. I'm not sure if this is being done intentionally or if these "friends" are forgetting to 'fuck' me. Either way, I've had enough. I have compiled a spreadsheet of individuals who have "forgotten" to 'fuck' me in my recent years. After 2 consecutive strikes, your name is automatically highlighted (shown in red) and I am immediately notified. 3 consecutive strikes and you can expect an in-person "consultation". Think about your actions.
August 2021

Yoshi

โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–€โ–€โ–„โ–€โ–€โ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–’โ–„โ–‘โ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–’โ–ˆโ–„โ–„โ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–„โ–ˆโ–‘โ–€โ–‘โ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–„โ–“โ–“โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–„โ–€โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–€โ–„โ–€โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–€โ–’โ–’โ–€โ–ˆโ–“โ–„ โ–„โ–€โ–€โ–’โ–€โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–ˆโ–“โ–“โ–ˆ โ–ˆโ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–’โ–’โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–€ โ–€โ–„โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–ˆโ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–’โ–„โ–ˆโ–„โ–€โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–€โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–ˆโ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–’โ–’โ–€โ–„โ–ˆโ–„โ–„โ–‘
ascii art
November 2014

Imaqtpie takes a break from the stream

twitchquotes: "Alright we fuckin lost," Michael says. "I'm gonna go piss." He turns down the volume on his microphone, and immediately bites Small Cat's vulnerable tail. As Small Cat yelps loudly in pain, Michael overturns the nearest chair, yelling "SMAKET I LOST" as loudly as he can. Lisha tries to calm him down, but Michael swiftly bodyslams her onto a glass coffee table. After taking a few deep breaths, Michael wipes the blood off of his face, sits back down at his computer, and resumes his stream.
twitch chat
May 2019
imaqtpie

League of Legends

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