[Copypasta] Your cat is plotting to destroy you

twitchquotes: I'm your cat, and ever since you brought me home that day? Well, i've been plotting to destroy you. Sizing you up. Calculating your every move. You think this is love? This is a billion years of tiger DNA just ready to pounce. And if you've got the wrong home insurance coverage you could be coughing up the cash for this. So get Allstate and be better protected from Mayhem like meow
twitch chat
February 2020
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More Copypastas

AITA for ending my marriage over Animal Crossing??

I (65m) and my wife 24(f) have been together for 8 years, married for 4. All my friends are jealous that i was able to score such a hot young woman but it’s starting to cause some problems in our relationship believe it or not. When the pandemic hit, I was very nervous since I’m not in great health. We decided to buy the Nintendo Switch and play this game called Animal Crossing. I guess it’s popular with the kids? Anywho, we start building this town and everything was fine at first. Then, my wife decides that she wants to remodel the town. No problem. But she starts cutting down all the trees, destroying the cliffs, removing the river, etc... I told her this is out of line. We should respect nature not destroy it. Her answer? It was ugly and she didn’t like to walk the long way around. She also takes all of my hard earned money from fishing and gambles it all away on turnip stocks. Last week she spent 400k on turnips and sold them for 260k. Do you know how many red snappers I need to catch to make that back up? I’m trying to retire soon and it’s making me think she doesn’t know how to manage money. What really drove me to the breaking point, my best friend Boon is on the island and we really get along. He likes to lift weights, so do I. I log into the game one day and build him a gift. When I try to find him, he’s nowhere to be found... I ask, where is boon? She doesn’t answer. Where is Boon ?? She says β€œI kicked him off the island, he was annoying”. Reddit, she kicked my best friend off the island without even talking to me. The next day I filed for divorce and kicked her out. I’m keeping the switch and rebuilding our town. Hopefully Boon comes back. AITA or did I doge a bullet with my sociopathic (ex)wife? Edit: Thank you all for the support and messages over the last 24hrs. It’s been a wild day but the good news is that after a few hours of island hopping I was able to find Boon and convince him to come back to my island. Seems like things are heading in the right direction.
August 2021

AITA

A review for the videogame "Among Us"

This game has ruined my fucking life. I'm going to end it and take you all with me because I can't bear to look at anything anymore. Any shape I see is distorted into amogus, any time I hear the word suspicious, sus, task, vent, report, ANYTHING, human pattern recognition turns it into amogus. I close my eyes and i see amogus, i see jerma985 grinning as the gates of my soul are opened by amogus and I can feel the festering sclunge of words and shapes pour in, filling all that I am with the ringing noise of amogus
April 2021

Among Us / Amogus

Vegeta

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β–ˆβ–“β”€β–ˆβ”€β”€β–’β–“β”€β”€β”€β”€β–’β–“β–ˆβ–“β–’β–ˆβ–ˆβ–’β–“β–“β–“β–“β”€β”€β–ˆβ–“β–“β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–“β–’β–“β–“β–“β–’β”€β”€ β–“β–ˆβ”€β–ˆβ”€β”€β–‘β–“β–‘β”€β–’β–ˆβ–“β”€β”€β–ˆβ–“β–ˆβ–ˆβ–’β–’β–“β–“β–“β”€β–ˆβ”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–“β–ˆβ–“β–’β–“β–“β–‘β”€β”€ β–’β–ˆβ”€β–“β”€β”€β”€β–“β–’β–ˆβ–ˆβ”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–’β–“β–“β–“β–‘β–ˆβ–ˆβ”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–’β–ˆβ–“β–“β–“β–‘β”€β”€ β–’β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–’β”€β”€β–’β–ˆβ–“β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–“β–ˆβ–ˆβ–“β–’β–“β–’β–“β–ˆβ”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–’β–“β–‘β”€β”€ β–’β–“β–ˆβ”€β–ˆβ”€β”€β–“β–ˆβ”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–“β–’β–’β–‘β–ˆβ–’β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ–’β–“β”€β”€β”€ β–’β–“β–ˆβ”€β–ˆβ”€β”€β–ˆβ”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ–“β–’β–“β–“β–ˆβ”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ–“β–“β”€β”€β–“ β”€β–“β–ˆβ–“β–“β”€β”€β–ˆβ”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ–ˆβ”€β–’β–ˆβ–“β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–“β–ˆβ–’β”€β”€β–ˆ β”€β–’β–“β–“β–’β–‘β–“β–’β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ–’β–’β–ˆβ”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–“β–“β–ˆβ–’β”€β”€β–ˆ 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β–ˆβ–ˆβ”€β–“β–ˆβ–ˆβ–“β–“β”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ–‘β–’β–ˆβ”€β–’β–ˆβ”€β”€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–’β–“β–“β–ˆβ–ˆβ”€β–“β–“β–ˆβ–ˆβ”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ”€β”€ β–“β–ˆβ”€β”€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ–ˆβ”€β”€β–ˆβ–’β”€β–’β–“β–ˆβ–ˆβ–’β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–“β–“β”€β–“β–ˆβ–ˆβ”€β”€β–‘β–ˆβ–“β”€β”€β–ˆ β–’β–ˆβ–“β”€β–’β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–“β”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ”€β”€β”€β”€β–“β–‘β–ˆβ–ˆβ–“β–“β–ˆβ–ˆβ–“β–ˆβ”€β”€β–ˆβ–ˆβ”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ–“β”€β”€β–“β–ˆ β–“β–“β–ˆβ–‘β”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ–ˆβ”€β”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ–“β”€β”€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–’β–“β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–“β–“β”€β”€β–“β–“β–‘β–ˆβ–“β”€β–ˆβ”€β”€β–“β–ˆβ–“ β–“β–“β–“β–ˆβ–“β”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ–“β”€β”€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–“β–“β–ˆβ–ˆβ–“β–’β–“β–“β–’β”€β–“β–“β–“β–ˆβ–“β–ˆβ–ˆβ–’β”€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆ β–“β–“β–“β–“β–ˆβ–ˆβ–‘β”€β–’β–ˆβ”€β”€β–“β–“β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–“β–ˆβ–ˆβ–“β”€β”€β”€β–“β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–“β–‘β”€β”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–“ β–“β–“β–“β–“β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–“β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–“β–ˆβ”€β–ˆβ–ˆβ”€β”€β–“β–‘β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–’β–’ β–“β–“β–“β–’β–“β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ–“β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–“β–’β–’β–“ β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–’β–“β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–“β–ˆβ–‘β”€β–’β”€β”€β”€β”€β–’β”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–’β–’β–“β–“β–“ β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–’β–“β–“β–ˆβ–ˆβ”€β”€β”€β–’β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ–“β–“β–“β”€β”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ–‘β”€β–ˆβ–“β–ˆβ–’β–“β–“β–“β–“ β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–’β–’β–ˆβ–‘β”€β”€β–ˆβ–“β”€β”€β”€β”€β–’β–ˆβ–ˆβ–“β–“β”€β”€β–“β–ˆβ”€β–ˆβ–“β”€β–ˆβ–’β–“β–“β–“β–“ β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–ˆβ–ˆβ–‘β”€β–‘β–ˆβ”€β”€β”€β–’β–“β”€β–’β”€β–’β”€β”€β–“β–’β–“β–ˆβ”€β”€β–ˆβ–’β–“β–“β–“β–“ β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–’β–ˆβ–“β”€β–ˆβ–“β”€β–’β–‘β”€β”€β–‘β”€β”€β–‘β–“β–’β”€β”€β”€β–’β–ˆβ”€β”€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–’β–“β–“β–“β–“ β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–’β–ˆβ–ˆβ”€β”€β–ˆβ–ˆβ”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–’β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ”€β”€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–’β–’β–“β–“β–“ β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–’β–ˆβ–ˆβ”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ–ˆβ”€β”€β”€β”€β–‘β–’β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ–“β–“β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–’β–’β–“β–“β–“ β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–ˆβ–“β”€β”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–“β–“β–“β–“ β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–’β–“β–ˆβ–ˆβ–“β”€β”€β”€β–“β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–’β”€β”€β”€β”€β–’β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–“β–’β–“ β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–’β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–“β–“ β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–’β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–“ β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–’β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–“β”€β”€β”€β”€β–“β–“ β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–’β–’β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–’β”€β”€β”€β”€β–’β”€β”€β”€β–’β–’ β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–’β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–“β–‘β”€β”€β”€β”€β–“β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆ β–“β–“β–“β–’β–“β–’β–“β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–“β–ˆβ–’β”€β–“β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆ β–’β–“β–“β–“β–“β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–“β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ”€β–“β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆ β–“β–ˆβ–ˆβ–’β–“β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–’β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆ
September 2021

Kurumx and Soju fanfic

twitchquotes: "THIS GAME IS FUCKIN GARBAGE!" Kurum yelled, voice cracking slightly in exasperation. "What's wrong Huney-Krum?" Soju called out from the kitchen. "I JUST WENT 5TH TO A FUCKIN BOT... and what the hell did you call me, bowl cut?" Kurum responded, still fuming. "Well, you told me if I called you 'My little Krummy Wummy' one more time you were gonna kick my ass..." Soju pouted, his head peeking around the kitchen door frame "Look, if you take a little break, I know where you can still be top 1..
twitch chat
February 2021
k3soju

Teamfight Tactics

If Morbius has a trillion fans

If Morbius has a trillion fans I am one of them. If Morbius has 10 fans I am one of them. If Morbius has no fans, that I means I am no longer on Earth. If the Universe is against Morbius, I am against the Universe. I love Morbius until my last breath.
June 2022

Morbius

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