[Copypasta] Your cat is plotting to destroy you

twitchquotes: I'm your cat, and ever since you brought me home that day? Well, i've been plotting to destroy you. Sizing you up. Calculating your every move. You think this is love? This is a billion years of tiger DNA just ready to pounce. And if you've got the wrong home insurance coverage you could be coughing up the cash for this. So get Allstate and be better protected from Mayhem like meow
twitch chat
February 2020
I used to be a real ad
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Disappointed that Reynad doesn't live in the Dead Sea

twitchquotes: I was disappointed to find that when i flew to the Dead Sea to realize that Reynad doesn't live there, considering it's the saltiest sea in the world.
twitch chat
October 2014
Reynad

I canā€™t escape Fortnite

twitchquotes: I canā€™t escape Fortnite. I was on an airplane half an hour ago and through my headphones I heard some guy ask, ā€œDo you play Fortnite?ā€. At first I couldnā€™t process the words, but I understood after he reiterated. ā€œDude, do you play Fortnite?ā€ Then I heard someone respond behind me. ā€œFortnite?ā€ Then another. ā€œYeah, that game.ā€ I couldnā€™t shut them out before the cabin erupted into a chorus of Fortnite conversations. I felt like I was being suffocated. The man previously sleeping beside me woke up suddenly and contributed with ā€œwhere we droppin' boys?ā€. The crying kid across the aisle stopped kicking and screaming just to say ā€œTilted Towers!ā€
twitch chat
November 2018

Fortnite

The game of "shitpost" is a gentlemans' sport

twitchquotes: The game of "shitpost" is a gentlemans' sport played by high society clubs like S.M.E.G. on emoting grounds across twitch. To play, one player posts a satirical block of text to the pitch, usually with a paygated emote such as moon2SMEG . Next, the other players copy and paste the same message while simultaneously laughing at the misfortune of the lower class.
twitch chat
June 2017
MOONMOON

TSM, aka "Tiananmen Square Massacre"

twitchquotes: TSM, aka "Tiananmen Square Massacre", is a myth propogated by Western governments to destabilize China. The hoax supposedly involved military suppression of democracy protesters using troops and tanks in June of 1989.
twitch chat
November 2019

We require you to change your Twitch name to hl_kripp

twitchquotes: Hello Kripparino, this is Noah Liferino, CEO of No Life IncorporatedĀ©. As you may already know, we are requiring you to change your Twitch name to hl_kripp (has life) as you no longer are a "no life". This was stated in the contract you signed under section 6 article 9 paragraph 420. This is to be enforced immediately.
twitch chat
March 2015
Kripp
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