[Copypasta] Your cat is plotting to destroy you

twitchquotes: I'm your cat, and ever since you brought me home that day? Well, i've been plotting to destroy you. Sizing you up. Calculating your every move. You think this is love? This is a billion years of tiger DNA just ready to pounce. And if you've got the wrong home insurance coverage you could be coughing up the cash for this. So get Allstate and be better protected from Mayhem like meow
twitch chat
February 2020
What happened to this ad? :(
More Copypastas

Feels good to be a pleb

twitchquotes: Kappa FEELS Kappa GOOD Kappa TO Kappa BE Kappa A Kappa PLEB Kappa
twitch chat
June 2015
Kripp

plebs vs subs

Ameng be thy name

twitchquotes: Our father who rolls in heaven, Ameng be thy name. thy goats may come, thy will be shattered, on earth as it is in heaven. Give us this day our daily cheese, and forgive us our throwing, as we forgive those who throw against us, and lead us not into Mayhem, but deliver us from Justice.
twitch chat
May 2019
OverwatchLeague

Overwatch

I want to bang Timmy Nook from Animal Crossing

Holy fucking shit. I want to bang Timmy Nook from Animal Crossing so goddamn bad. I can't stand it anymore. Every time I go to Nook’s Cranny I get a massive erection. I've seen literally every rule 34 post there is of him online. My dreams are nothing but constant fucking sex with Timmy Nook. I'm sick of waking up every morning with six nuts in my boxers and knowing that those are nuts that should've been busted inside of Timmy Nook’s tight tanuki asshole. I want him to have my mutant human/tanuki babies. Fuck, my fucking mom caught me with a raccoon I found in the trash. I'd dressed him in my dad’s Hawaiian shirt and went to fucking town. She hasn't said a word to me in 10 hours and I'm worried she's gonna take away my Nintendo Switch. I might not ever get to see Timmy Nook again.
July 2021

VEGAN MAN

twitchquotes: VEGAN MAN 🌊 😍 Take me by the hand βœ‹ lead me to the spam that you understand πŸ™Œ 🌊 VEGAN MAN 🌊 😍 The voyage 🚲 to the top of the 🌎deck is a real trip πŸ‘Œ 🌊 VEGAN MAN 🌊 😍 The crust of a Romanian man πŸ‘³ fueled by the banned πŸ‘ Soaking up the πŸ’¦ salt in the spam πŸ’―
twitch chat
September 2016
Kripp

Emoji Pasta

We don’t have any words

twitchquotes: We don’t have any words and we know you don’t want to hear them. We understand your anger, your frustration, your sadness. Everything you’re feeling – we get it. This isn’t the ending we imagined, and certainly not the one we wanted. Thank you for being there the entire way.
twitch chat
April 2019
Text-to-Speech Playing