[Copypasta] Your cat is plotting to destroy you

twitchquotes: I'm your cat, and ever since you brought me home that day? Well, i've been plotting to destroy you. Sizing you up. Calculating your every move. You think this is love? This is a billion years of tiger DNA just ready to pounce. And if you've got the wrong home insurance coverage you could be coughing up the cash for this. So get Allstate and be better protected from Mayhem like meow
twitch chat
February 2020
(▀̿Ĺ̯├┬┴┬┴ Psst... kid, you wanna disable adblock?
More Copypastas

Flame imp is a bad card

twitchquotes: Wow. Wanna know how I know that this guy doesn't know what he is doing? He plays Flame Imp, a card that does 3 damage to the guy that plays it. Clearly he doesn't understand that if you run out of health you lose.
twitch chat
November 2014
Kripp

I just lost my virginity and said Poggers

I just lost my virginity and said Poggers Ok so we were flirting and he took of his pants and started to rub his bulge then he pulls his dick out, I dead ass said “ that’s pretty pog” he then broke up with me after we were done 💀
July 2021

Uganda Knuckles

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⣠⣤⣤⣶⣶⣶⣶⣶⣤⣤⣀⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣤⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣄⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢠⣴⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣦⡀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣠⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣆ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⣸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⣋⣩⣭⣭⣭⣉⡻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⠀⣠⣴⣭⣹⣟⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢣⣼⣿⣿⠛⠁⠘⠿⠿⢻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⠀⠛⠛⠁⣿⣿⡯⣫⣤⣴⣶⣶⣤⣭⣛⡸⣿⣿⣇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⠀⠀⢀⣴⣷⠬⣉⣀⣈⣹⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣮⣝⣛⣯⣤⣤⣤⣤⣭⣛⠿⣿⣿⣿ ⠀⠈⠉⣽⣶⣶⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠛⢛⡛⠛⠿⣿⣿⣷⡌⢻⣿ ⣀⢰⣿⣦⡝⠛⢷⣮⡛⠻⣿⣿⣿⠿⢛⣫⣵⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠛⣣⣾⣿ ⣿⢸⣿⡿⠀⣿⣶⣝⢿⣿⣶⣶⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠟⣩⣵⣶⠇⣿⣿⣿⢹ ⣿⢸⣿⠀⡇⢹⣿⣿⡶⠎⣙⠿⠿⠿⠿⠿⢟⣛⣩⣴⣾⣿⣿⣿⡟⣸⣿⣿⠇⣸ ⣿⡇⠛⢠⣿⡀⣿⣿⠀⠀⠀⠈⠛⠻⠿⠿⣿⣿⠿⠿⠛⠛⠛⠁⠀⣿⡿⠃⠀⣿ ⣿⣿⣧⣿⣿⣷⡘⢿⡇⢸⣦⣤⣀⣀⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⣀⣤⡄⠼⢋⣴⡇⠸⢋ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣮⡃⣸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣶⣿⡿⢀⣠⣾
ascii art
November 2018

Stabbed with Kniferino made out of an OJ Carton

twitchquotes: Oᴄᴛᴀᴠɪᴀɴ Mᴏʀᴏsᴀɴ, ᴏᴛʜᴇʀᴡɪsᴇ ᴋɴᴏᴡɴ ᴀs Kʀɪᴘᴘ, ʜᴀs ᴘᴀssᴇᴅ ᴀᴡᴀʏ ᴛʜɪs ᴛᴜᴇsᴅᴀʏ's ᴀғᴛᴇʀɴᴏᴏɴ. Hᴇ ᴡᴀs ᴀᴍʙᴜsʜᴇᴅ ʙʏ ᴀ ɢʀᴏᴜᴘ ᴏғ ᴅᴏɴɢᴇʀs ɪɴ ᴀɴ ᴀʟʟᴇʏ, ᴀɴᴅ sᴛᴀʙʙᴇᴅ ᴡɪᴛʜ ᴀ ᴋɴɪғᴇʀɪɴᴏ ᴍᴀᴅᴇ ᴏᴜᴛ ᴏғ ᴀɴ OJ ᴄᴀʀᴛᴏɴ. RIP ɪɴ ᴘᴇᴘᴘᴇʀᴏɴɪ ᴄᴀᴘᴘᴜᴄᴄɪɴᴏ ᴘɪsᴛᴀᴄʜɪᴏ, ʏᴏᴜ sʜᴀʟʟ ʙᴇ ᴍɪssᴇᴅ.
twitch chat
March 2014
Kripp

You've been gnomed 3

⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⠉⠁⠄⠄⠄⠈⠙⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⠏⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠸⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣏⠄⡠⡤⡤⡤⡤⡤⡤⡠⡤⡤⣸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣗⢝⢮⢯⡺⣕⢡⡑⡕⡍⣘⢮⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⡧⣝⢮⡪⡪⡪⡎⡎⡮⡲⣱⣻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⠟⠁⢸⡳⡽⣝⢝⢌⢣⢃⡯⣗⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⠟⠁⠄⠄⠄⠹⡽⣺⢽⢽⢵⣻⢮⢯⠟⠿⠿⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⡟⢀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠙⠽⠽⡽⣽⣺⢽⠝⠄⠄⢰⢸⢝⠽⣙⢝⢿ ⡄⢸⢹⢸⢱⢘⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠈⠄⠄⠄⣀⠄⠄⣵⣧⣫⣶⣜⣾ ⣧⣬⣺⠸⡒⠬⡨⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣰⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣽⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣷⠡⠑⠂⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣄⠠⢀⢀⢀⡀⡀⠠⢀⢲⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢐⢀⠂⢄⠇⠠⠈⠄⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧⠄⠠⠈⢈⡄⠄⢁⢀⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡀⠠⠐⣼⠇⠄⡀⠸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣯⠄⠄⡀⠈⠂⣀⠄⢀⠄⠈⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣄⣀⠐⢀⣸⣷⣶⣶⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
ascii art
December 2018
More Copypastas
Text-to-Speech Playing