[Copypasta] Your cat is plotting to destroy you

twitchquotes: I'm your cat, and ever since you brought me home that day? Well, i've been plotting to destroy you. Sizing you up. Calculating your every move. You think this is love? This is a billion years of tiger DNA just ready to pounce. And if you've got the wrong home insurance coverage you could be coughing up the cash for this. So get Allstate and be better protected from Mayhem like meow
twitch chat
February 2020
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas

Sneaky can you please try to win more games

twitchquotes: Sadge Sneaky can you please try to win more games. I told my friends to check out this amazing streamer and they are all watching today and making fun of me because I'm watching an one win streamer. I'm feeling so ashamed right now but still believe in you! Please prove them wrong
twitch chat
August 2020
Sneaky

Holding Galactic Virgins

Virgin Galactic Holdings changes name to Holding Galactic Virgins, and announces it’s changing its business model to extraterrestrial prostitution. Edit: SpaceX, not to be outdone, changes to SpaceSex
December 2020

WallStreetBets

WOW kid you just got r/WOOOOOOSHED

WOW kid you just got r/WOOOOOOSHED!!!! 😂😂👀 "Wooosh" means you didn't get the joke, as in the sound made when the joke "woooshes" over your head. I bet you're too stupid to get it, IDIOT!! 😤😤😂 His joke was so thoughtfully crafted and took him a total of like 3 minutes, you SHOULD be laughing. 🤬 What's that? His joke is bad? I think that's just because you failed. He outsmarted you, nitwit.🤭 In conclusion, I am posting this to the community known as "R/Wooooosh" to claim my internet points in your embarrassment 😏. Imbecile. The Germans refer to this action as "Schadenfreude," which means "harm-joy" 😬😲. WOW! 🤪 Another reference I had to explain to you. 🤦‍♂️🤭 I am going to cease this conversation for I do not converse with simple minded persons.😏😂
October 2021

Cattarrian's warning to Kripp

twitchquotes: Hᴇʏ Kʀɪᴘᴘ, Cᴀᴛᴛᴀʀʀɪᴀɴ ʜᴇʀᴇ. I ᴋɴᴏᴡ ᴍʏ ᴄᴏɴsᴛᴀɴᴛ Mᴇᴏᴡᴇʀɪɴᴏ ɪs ᴀɴɴᴏʏɪɴɢ ʏᴏᴜ, ʙᴜᴛ I ᴀᴍ ᴏɴʟʏ ᴛʀʏɪɴɢ ᴛᴏ ᴡᴀʀɴ ʏᴏᴜ ᴏғ ᴛʜᴇ Sᴜᴄᴄᴜʙᴜs. Yᴏᴜ sᴇᴇ, I ᴀᴍ ᴀᴄᴛᴜᴀʟʟʏ ʜᴇʀ ʟᴀsᴛ BF ᴛᴜʀɴᴇᴅ ɪɴᴛᴏ ᴀ Cᴀᴛᴇʀɪɴᴏ ᴜsɪɴɢ Bʟᴀᴄᴋ Mᴀɢɪᴄ ᴀɴᴅ ᴅᴏɴᴜᴛs. Iᴛ's ᴛᴏᴏ ʟᴀᴛᴇ ғᴏʀ ᴍᴇ, ʙᴜᴛ ʏᴏᴜ ᴄᴀɴ sᴛɪʟʟ sᴀᴠᴇ ʏᴏᴜʀsᴇʟғ. Rᴜɴ Kʀɪᴘᴘ ʀᴜɴ!!!
twitch chat
August 2014
Kripp

Goku

⣿⣿⠿⠿⠿⠿⣿⣷⣂⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠈⢷⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣷⡾⠯⠉⠉⠉⠉⠚⠑⠄⡀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠈⠻⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⡀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠉⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢀⠎⠄⠄⣀⡀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠘⠋⠉⠉⠉⠉⠭⠿⣿ ⡀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⡇⠄⣠⣾⣳⠁⠄⠄⢺⡆⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⣿⣷⡦⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢠⠃⢰⣿⣯⣿⡁⢔⡒⣶⣯⡄⢀⢄⡄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣀⣤⣶ ⠓⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠸⠄⢀⣤⢘⣿⣿⣷⣷⣿⠛⣾⣿⣿⣆⠾⣷⠄⠄⠄⠄⢀⣀⣼⣿ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠑⢘⣿⢰⡟⣿⣿⣷⣫⣭⣿⣾⣿⣿⣴⠏⠄⠄⢀⣺⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⠶⠄⠄⠄⠹⣮⣹⡘⠛⠿⣫⣾⣿⣿⣿⡇⠑⢤⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣯⣤⣤⣤⣤⣀⣀⡹⣿⣿⣷⣯⣽⣿⣿⡿⣋⣴⡀⠈⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣾⣝⡻⢿⣿⡿⠋⡒⣾⣿⣧⢰⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠃⣏⣟⣼⢋⡾⣿⣿⣿⣘⣔⠙⠿⠿⠿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠿⣛⡵⣻⠿⠟⠁⠛⠰⠿⢿⠿⡛⠉⠄⠄⢀⠄⠉⠉⢉ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⢟⠩⠉⣠⣴⣶⢆⣴⡶⠿⠟⠛⠋⠉⠩⠄⠉⢀⠠⠂⠈⠄⠐⠄⠄⠄
August 2020
Text-to-Speech Playing