[Copypasta] Your cat is plotting to destroy you

twitchquotes: I'm your cat, and ever since you brought me home that day? Well, i've been plotting to destroy you. Sizing you up. Calculating your every move. You think this is love? This is a billion years of tiger DNA just ready to pounce. And if you've got the wrong home insurance coverage you could be coughing up the cash for this. So get Allstate and be better protected from Mayhem like meow
twitch chat
February 2020
(β–€ΜΏΔΉΜ―β”œβ”¬β”΄β”¬β”΄ Psst... kid, you wanna disable adblock?
More Copypastas

BALDING not MALDING

twitchquotes: Look at all of these non-intellectuals in chat. They struggle so hard to spell simple words such as "bald". They always type "mald" in chat instead. The pure stupidity in chat makes me lose hair in a way in which my hairline recedes aka "BALDING" not "MALDING".
twitch chat
July 2019

CATTARIAN WAS A SLOW AND DELICIOUS DINNER

twitchquotes: ( Ν Β° ΝŸΚ– Ν‘Β°) CATTARIAN WAS A SLOW AND DELICIOUS DINNER ( Ν Β° ΝŸΚ– Ν‘Β°)
twitch chat
August 2015
Kripp

YOU. ME. GAS STATION.

What are we getting for dinner? Sushi of course. Uh oh, there was a roofie inside of our gas station sushi, we black out and wake up in a sewer. We're surrounded by fish; horny fish. You know what that means. Fish orgy, the stench draws in a bear. What are we gonna do? We're gonna fight it. BEAR FIGHT. BEAR HANDED. BEAR naked? oh yes, please. We befriend the bear after we beat it in a brawl. then we ride into a chuck-e-cheese, dance dance revolution. REVOLUTION? OVERTHROW THE GOVERNMENT? uh, I think so. next thing you know, i'm reincarnated as Jesus Christ. Then i turn into a jet, fly into the sun, black out again, wake up, do a bump, white out which i didn't know you could do, then i smoked a joint. Greened-out, then i turned into the sun. uh oh, looks like the meth is kicking in.
January 2022

PC vs console youtube comment

Says the poor brainless console peasant. No mods, no money to achieve high performance, no creativity to set up your own devices. Calling me pathetic lol, I actually work and gather money for Gaming PC whilst you console peasants probably beg to your parents for buying you a console. So tell me, have you been a good brat by doing house chores?
June 2021

Hafu is jealous of Rania

twitchquotes: οΌ«ο½’ο½‰ο½ο½οΌοΌοΌγ€€οΌ©γ€€ο½ο½γ€€ο½–ο½…ο½’ο½™γ€€ο½“ο½ο½„γ€€ο½ο½Žο½„γ€€ο½Šο½…ο½ο½Œο½ο½•ο½“γ€€ο½”ο½ˆο½ο½”γ€€ο½™ο½ο½•γ€€ο½ο½’ο½…γ€€ο½Œο½…ο½”ο½”ο½‰ο½Žο½‡γ€€ο½”ο½ˆο½‰ο½“γ€€β€˜β€˜ο½•ο½Žο½„ο½…ο½’ο½†ο½Œο½ο½—ο½’β€™β€™γ€€ο½ˆο½ο½–ο½…γ€€ο½ο½Œο½Œγ€€ο½™ο½ο½•ο½’γ€€ο½“ο½ο½Œο½”γ€€ο½…ο½–ο½…ο½’ο½™γ€€ο½Žο½‰ο½‡ο½ˆο½”οΌŒγ€€ο½ο½Œο½…ο½ο½“ο½…γ€€ο½”ο½ο½Œο½‹γ€€ο½”ο½γ€€ο½ο½…γ€€ο½ο½‡ο½ο½‰ο½Žγ€€ο½—ο½‰ο½”ο½ˆγ€€ο½Œο½ο½–ο½…γ€€ο½™ο½ο½•ο½’γ€€ο½ο½ο½„ο½…γ€€ο½‰ο½Žγ€€ο½ƒο½ˆο½‰ο½Žο½γ€€ο½—ο½‰ο½†ο½…γ€€οΌ¨ο½ο½†ο½•γ€€β™‘β™‘β™‘γ€€οΌ°ο½Œο½š no copy ο½ο½ο½“ο½”ο½…ο½’ο½‰ο½Žο½ ο½ƒο½ˆο½‰ο½Žο½‡ ο½ƒο½ˆο½ο½Žο½‡γ€€ο½ο½‰ο½Žο½‡γ€€ο½ο½ο½Žο½‡γ€€ο½Žο½‰ο½ο½Žο½ο½Žο½‡ ο½ƒο½ˆο½ο½Žο½‡ο½…ο½’ο½‰ο½Žο½ ο½Žο½ο½ο½„ο½Œο½…ο½’ο½‰ο½Žο½ bok ο½ƒο½ˆο½ο½™ ο½‹ο½•ο½Žο½‡ ο½ο½ο½ο½’ο½‰ο½Žο½
twitch chat
March 2014
Kripp
Text-to-Speech Playing