[Copypasta] Your cat is plotting to destroy you

twitchquotes: I'm your cat, and ever since you brought me home that day? Well, i've been plotting to destroy you. Sizing you up. Calculating your every move. You think this is love? This is a billion years of tiger DNA just ready to pounce. And if you've got the wrong home insurance coverage you could be coughing up the cash for this. So get Allstate and be better protected from Mayhem like meow
twitch chat
February 2020
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a tesla drives down the street in 2021

the year is 2021 A tesla drives down the street unknowing of the danger behind it a beast of American metal and lightning The driver realizes he is in danger in his commie-fornia shoebox He presses the pussy pedal as hard as he can It cannot save him, he can hear the music already "THIS IS GAWWWWWD'S COUNTRRRRRYYYYYYY" He realizes he is already dead In an instant he becomes like a fly in the grill of a truck In the grill of the Ford F-150 EV It stops for no one
December 2020

WallStreetBets

Kripp puts his hands on my hips and looks into my eyes

twitchquotes: Kripp puts his hands on my hips and looks into my eyes. His face comes closer as he plants his wet lips onto mine. We are locked together in a beautiful display of love. Then I wake up. I look at Kripp's stream. He is playing Tavern Brawl. Now I remember why I fell asl... ResidentSleeper
twitch chat
November 2016
Kripp

Classic

Hearthstone

I sexually identify as a single Pringle

twitchquotes: I sexually identify as a single, Pringle, ready to mingle. Ever since I was a potato I dreamed of being thin sliced, covered in disgusting oil then heated in a medium oven until reaching climax at the micro second of golden-browness. People bully me, and say things like "what the fuck, you aren't a Pringle", but I know deep down they are just jealous of my inner beauty.
twitch chat
March 2015

I sexually Identify as

NA at worlds

twitchquotes: 4Head No matter how many imports I choose 4Head I still continue to lose 4Head and then I make an excuse 4Head you guessed it right I'm from NA 4Head my screen is always grey 4Head when at worlds I play 4Head
twitch chat
October 2018

League of Legends

EU vs NA

Meanwhile in Qtpie's chat

twitchquotes: Meanwhile in Qtpie's chat: ~ Kappa ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ ~ Kappa ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€~ Kappa ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€~ Kappa ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€~ Kappa ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€~ Kappa ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€~ Kappa ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€~ Kappa ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ ใ€€~ Kappa ~ Kappa ใ€€ ใ€€ใ€€~ Kappa ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€~ Kappa ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€~ Kappa ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€~ Kappa ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€~ Kappa ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€~ Kappa ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€~ Kappa ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€~ Kappa ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€~ Kappa ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€~ Kappa ใ€€ ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€~ Kappa
twitch chat
November 2014
imaqtpie
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