[Copypasta] Europe is the Eastern USA

twitchquotes: Europe was founded in 1848 by Walker Texas Ranger when he rode a horse across the Atlantic, he called it "Eastern USA" which was eventually abbreviated as just "EU"
twitch chat
March 2014

Classic

EU vs NA

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Stroll in my local GameStop

stroll into my local GameStop looking to pick up a copy of Binding of Isaac grab the game and take it to the charming maiden at the register "Pardon me, milady...but could you ring me up? A shame I don't have your number or I'd ring you up instead..." she giggles and takes the game, blushing as her fingers brush mine due to my fingerless gloves her eyes widen as she reads the game's title "Wow, I've never seen anyone buy this before! You must have special taste!" I smile and ready a witty response when suddenly a voice rings out from behind "Hahaha look at what this ♥♥♥♥♥♥ is buying! That's not Call of Duty Advanced Memefare! What a piece of ♥♥♥♥!" I quickly turn around, my cloak billowing behind me, to discern the source of the rude outburst generic dudebro caricature with a sports team cap and "the guy that beat you up that one time behind the school in early October" shirt is standing there guffawing "Excuse me sir...you may disparage my person if you wish, but it is untoward to swear in front of a lady." "♥♥♥♥ you ♥♥♥♥♥♥!" I smile quietly and tip my fedora low across my eyes, concealing them "As you wish..." I quickly swing my cane into his kneecap before he can react he bellows and charges forward I expertly sidestep him and the cashier screams as he crashes into the counter I draw my sword-cane and mutter a quiet oath as I drive it deep into his back "...requiescat in pace..." As I clean my blade the girl walks out from behind the counter, twirling her hair with her fingers "So...maybe you'd like to come over to my place to play that game sometime...? "No thanks, milady, it's only single player. Besides..." I sheath my sword "You're not my type." skate away on my Heelys
January 2021

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I am the BM in the lethal, the salt in the defeat

twitchquotes: The stream starts, and so my spam begins. It shall not end until i am banned. I shall fear no mod, sub to no streamer. I shall live and die in the Chat. For i am the value in the bomber. I am the BM in the lethal. I am the salt in the defeat. I pledge my keyboard to the Chat, for this stream and all the streams to come.
twitch chat
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Kripp

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Every 60 seconds, a minute passes in Africa

twitchquotes: ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) Every 60 seconds in Africa, a minute passes. Together we can stop this. Please spread the word ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
twitch chat
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"touch grass" is not an insult towards gamers

"touch grass" is not an insult towards gamers, rather it is advice for them. When participating in intense periods of gaming, the human hand has a tendency to get sweaty. The sweat causes the hand to become slick, and it b becomes more difficult to retain a grip on the gamers gaming mouse, thus making it more difficult to perform well in intense gaming moments. By touching grass with the gamers hand, the grass will impart a layer of particulate onto the gamers hand, the particulate can be made of a variety of dusts, dirts and other natural matter. This particulate will then act in a similar form to climbers chalk, absorbing the sweat and drying out the gamers hand. With dry hands, the gamer can now perform to their maximum when gaming. This is why when an enemy or teammate tells you to touch grass, they are simply trying to assist you in performing better.
July 2021

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Unseen donger is the deadliest

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