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ヽ༼ຈل͜ຈ༽ﾉ PUT SHOE ON HEAD TO PROVE NOT PRE-RECORDED ヽ༼ຈل͜ຈ༽ﾉ
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I used to be a real ad
More Classic Copypastas
What if I put my Minecraft bed next to yours?
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What if I... put my Minecraft bed... 😳 next to yours... 😳 aha ha, just kidding.. 😂 unless.. ? 😳
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Classic
UNO skip card
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Classic
Tanner from Rome
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So you're going by "Octavian" now plebian? Haha what's up spurcifer, it's Tannerius from Rome. Remember me? Me and the other legionaries used to give a hard time. Sorry you were just an easy target. I can see not much has changed. Remember Seira, the girl you had a crush on? Yeah, she's my concubine now. I make over 200 sesterces a year and drive a quadriga chariot. I guess some things never change huh? Nice catching up. Patheticus.
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Kripp
Classic
Tanner from High School
Natalie Portman is the reason I work out
Natalie Portman is the reason I work out. I have this fantasy where we start talking at the Vanity Fair Oscars party bar. We exchange a few pleasantries. She asks what I do. I say I loved her in New Girl. She laughs. I get my drink.
"Well, see ya," I say and walk away. I've got her attention now. How many guys voluntarily leave a conversation with Natalie Portman? She touches her neck as she watches me leave.
Later, as the night's dragged on and the coterie of gorgeous narcissists grows increasingly loose, she finds me on the balcony, my bowtie undone, smoking a cigarette.
"Got a spare?" she asks.
"What's in it for me?" I say as I hand her one of my little white ladies. She smiles.
"Conversation with me, duh."
I laugh.
"What's so funny?" she protests.
"Nothing, nothing... It's just... don't you grow tired of the egos?"
"You get used to it," she says, lighting her cigarette and handing me back the lighter.
"What would you do if you weren't an actress?" I ask.
"Teaching, I think."
"And if I was your student, what would I be learning?"
"Discipline," she says quickly, looking up into my eyes, before changing the subject. "Where are you from?"
"Bermuda," I say.
"Oh wow. That's lovely."
"It's ok," I admit. "Not everything is to my liking."
"What could possibly be not to your liking in Bermuda?" she inquires.
"I don't like sand," I tell her. "It's coarse and rough and irritating and it gets everywhere."
Classic
Somewhere in a parallel universe, Europe didn't need to be saved by America
twitchquotes:
★ ★ ° ☾ ☆ ¸. ¸ ★ :. . • ○ ° ★ . * . . ¸ . ° ¸. * ● ¸ . ...somewhere ° ☾ ° ¸. ● ¸ . ★ ° :. . • ° . * :. .in a parallel universe* ● ¸ ° ☾ °☆ . * ¸. ★ ★ ° . . . ☾ °☆ . * ● ¸ ..EUROPE...° ☾ ★ °● ¸ . ★ ° :. . • ○ ° ★ . * DIDN'T NEED TO BE SAVED BY AMERICA ☾ ★ °● ¸ . ★ °
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