[Copypasta] not an asexual thing

twitchquotes: ‘not an asexual thing’. try living a day in my shoes, walking around terrified of encountering sex everywhere i go. wherever i look, parents with children, people sucking each others’ faces. it makes me and millions of other aces out there feel really attacked.
twitch chat
February 2019

Classic

Tweet: https://twitter.com/breathinbuckyy/status/1091762452524662789
(▀̿Ĺ̯├┬┴┬┴ Psst... kid, you wanna disable adblock?
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Shrek is love. Shrek is life

I was only nine years old. I loved Shrek so much, I had all the merchandise and movies. I'd pray to Shrek every night before I go to bed, thanking for the life I've been given. "Shrek is love", I would say, "Shrek is life". My dad hears me and calls me a faggot. I knew he was just jealous for my devotion of Shrek. I called him a cunt. He slaps me and sends me to go to sleep. I'm crying now and my face hurts. I lay in bed and it's really cold. A warmth is moving towards me. I feel something touch me. It's Shrek. I'm so happy. He whispers in my ear, "This is my swamp". He grabs me with his powerful ogre hands, and puts me on my hands and knees. I spread my ass-cheeks for Shrek. He penetrates my butthole. It hurts so much, but I do it for Shrek. I can feel my butt tearing as my eyes start to water. I push against his force. I want to please Shrek. He roars a mighty roar, as he fills my butt with his love. My dad walks in. Shrek looks him straight in the eye, and says, "It's all ogre now". Shrek leaves through my window. Shrek is love. Shrek is life.
February 2021

Shrek

Classic

I'm done with this chat

twitchquotes: That's it, I'm done. *** this chat. It's devolved into a mass of retarded copy pastes and face spam. The quality of twitch chat has been declining for a while, but this is the last straw. That's it. I'm done. I'm uninstalling the internet, chopping off my dick and moving to *** Antarctica, at least the bacteria there will be *** smarter discourse.
twitch chat
March 2014

Classic

GME to the moon

.　　　　　　　　　　 ✦ 　　　　   　 　　　˚　　　　　　　　　　　　　　*　　　　　　   　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　.　　　　　　　　　　　　　　. 　　 　　　　　　　 ✦ 　　　　　　　　　　 　 ‍ ‍ ‍ ‍ 　　　　 　　　　　　　　　　　　,　　   　 .　　　　　　　　　　　　　.　　　ﾟ　  　　　.　　　　　　　　　　　☀️if we hold　　. ,　　　　　　　.　　　　　　    　　　　 　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　  　　　　　　　　　　. 　　　　　　　　　　.　　　　　　　　　　　　　. 　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　       　   　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　       　    ✦ 　   　　　,　　　　　　　　　　　    🚀 gme 　　　　 　　,　　　 ‍ ‍ ‍ ‍ 　 　　　　　　　　　　　　.　　　　　 　　 　　　.　　　　　　　　　　　　　 　           　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　˚　   　　　　,　　　　　　　　　　　       　    　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　.　　　  　　    　　　　　 　　　　　.　　　　　　　　　　　　　.　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　* 　　   　　　　　 ✦ 　　　　　　　         　        　　　　 　　 　　　　　　　 　　　　　.　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　.　　　　　    　　. 　 　　　　　.　　　　 🌑 　　　　　   　　　　　.　　　　　　　　　　　.　 ˚　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　ﾟ　　　　　.　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　. 　　 　 🌎 ‍ ‍ if we sell ‍ ‍ ‍ ‍ ‍ ‍ ‍ ,　 　　　　　　　　　　　　　　* .　　　　　 　　　　　　　　　　　　　　.　　　　　　　　　　 ✦ ˚　　　　　　　　　　　　　　*　　　　　　   　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　.　　　　　　　　　　　　　　.
ascii art
January 2021

WallStreetBets

Classic

Secret Puerto Rican lover

twitchquotes: Hola, Kripp, this is Antonio, Rania's secret Puerto Rican lover. I mistakenly left a package of my Magnum XXL Heavy-Duty Condoms at your place last night while you were complaining about a children's card game. I was hoping I could swing by tonight and pick them up. I'll just go in through the backdoor just like how I do with Rania, the dirty girl! Thanks, and good luck with your funny little computer game!
twitch chat
May 2016
Kripp

Classic

I spend all day working my ass off at the pasta factory

twitchquotes: I spend all day working my ass off at the pasta factory trying to provide pasta to hard-working people all across the world. After a long day of work, I come to Kripp's chat to unwind and have thought-driven discussions about my favorite game and favorite streamer. When I get here, however, all I see is pasta after pasta. All I want to do is escape my miserable life, but you fucks keep spamming.
twitch chat
March 2018

Classic

I hate Twitch Chat

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