I used to be a real ad
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Dyrus thinks he's smart because of his eyes

twitchquotes: Ive had enough of dyrus , racist to blind people. All I wanted was him to read out his runes and masteries but nooooo he makes me go to lolnexus.. im fking blind why do u think i asked? u and ur eyes, You think ur smart just cus of ur eyes.
twitch chat
July 2014
Dyrus
I used to be a real ad

Leifman is awkward

twitchquotes: When leifman talk the mumble automatically go to awkward. Leifman get rekt by the kripp and feel at one with the cringe. all becoming unmod leifman.
twitch chat
March 2014
Kripp

Imaqtpie, where are you listening to this VILE music?!

twitchquotes: QT have you no shame? Listening to this VILE music full of cussing and vulgar language, N word this, N word that. I mean is this really what you want you viewers to be influenced by? I expected more from you Michael 'imaqtpie' Santana.
twitch chat
August 2014
imaqtpie

Daddy, where do dongers come from?

twitchquotes: (=◕ل͜◕=) Daddy, where do dongers come from? (=◕ل͜◕=) ヽ( ͝° ͜ʖ͡°)ノYou see, little dong, when a donger and a dongerina dong together, the dong of the donger releases thousands of small dongs, which dongs the dongerina. 9 dongs later, the dongerina goes through a dong process, which finally raises a donger. ヽ( ͝° ͜ʖ͡°)ノ
twitch chat
July 2014
Kripp
What happened to this ad? :(

My poop story

twitchquotes: My poop story. I lived in a dookie (pun on purpose) apartment complex in a college town, literally $300 a month, on a river in the south. So a small and always very high maintenance team worked for them. They showed up (stoned) and were changing everyone’s filters. Heard. Ok come in. I had a particularly funky little caesars pizza not an hour before the incident. We were making small talk and such as these things tend to linger, I suddenly felt a disturbance in my lower gut (bubbleguts). I felt confident in my distance from the maintenance guy that I got squeeze out a fart and then distract him into another room. This was no fart. At slightest bit of effort I put towards this fart a flood of terrible pizza diarrhea shot out of my ass like a goddamn rocket. As I was staring this man in the eye. I was staring another human being in the eyes...while I pooed my pants. To this day not only do I have no clue if he knew or not but I would still pay thousands of dollars to just see my face when that happened. That is my poop story.
twitch chat
June 2019

Sandown being investigated by the FBI

twitchquotes: ༼▀ل͜▀༽ The FBI is currently investigating a possible DDOS attack against Kripparian. It is believed that Sandown masterminded this attack against Kripparian's stream, in order to steal his viewers and promote his own streaming career. It is estimated that Kripparian has lost tens of millions of dollars in the DDOS attack, which Sandown allegedly had executed. Sandown refused to comment on the event when reporters swarmed his house, but he later released a brief statement denying the allegation. Kripparian spoke out later that night stating that he intends to sue Sandown if it is proven that he did commit this cyber crime. ༼▀ل͜▀༽
twitch chat
January 2015
Kripp

Magnus Carlsen has the most braindead viewership

twitchquotes: It’s funny how arguably the smartest person on this platform also has the most braindead viewership. What the hell even is a copypasta? Grow up.
twitch chat
April 2021
maskenissen

Kripp and Trump

twitchquotes: Aʟʟ Kʀɪᴘᴘ ᴡᴀɴᴛᴇᴅ ᴛᴏ ᴅᴏ ᴡᴀs ᴋᴇᴇᴘ ʜɪs ʜᴇᴛᴇʀᴏsᴇxᴜᴀʟ ʀᴇʟᴀᴛɪᴏɴsʜɪᴘ sᴇᴄʀᴇᴛ. Nᴏᴡ ᴛʜᴀᴛ ʏᴏᴜ ɢᴜʏs ᴇxᴘᴏsᴇᴅ ʜɪᴍ, ʜᴏᴡ ᴅᴏ ʏᴏᴜ ᴛʜɪɴᴋ Tʀᴜᴍᴘ ғᴇᴇʟs? I ʙᴇᴛ ʜᴇ's ᴘʀᴇᴛᴛʏ ᴅᴇᴠᴀsᴛᴀᴛᴇᴅ ᴛʜᴀᴛ ʜᴇ ғᴏᴜɴᴅ ᴏᴜᴛ Kʀɪᴘᴘ ᴡᴇɴᴛ ʙᴇʜɪɴᴅ ʜɪs ʙᴀᴄᴋ ᴛʜɪs ᴡᴀʏ.Yᴏᴜ sʜᴏᴜʟᴅ ᴀʟʟ ʙᴇ ᴀsʜᴀᴍᴇᴅ ᴏғ ʏᴏᴜʀsᴇʟᴠᴇs.
twitch chat
March 2014
Kripp

Kripp's handicapped half-cousin from Romania, Kripple

twitchquotes: Dear Kripp, this is you handicapped half-cousin from Romania, Kripple. I need you help for my medical bill. I owe Doctor $5,000 and he only accept 5 dollar bill. Plz help. If I don't pay he take my good leg. Sincerlirino, Kripple J. Morospam
twitch chat
November 2014
Kripp
I used to be a real ad

Kripp and the Hardcore Police

twitchquotes: ༼ ▀̿̿Ĺ̯̿̿▀̿ ̿ ༽ Kripp, this is the hardcore police, it has come to our attention that you RIP in peace above the allowed average hardcore limit. We are here to inform you that your channel prefix must be changed into cl (casual-life) as a repercussion to better represent your current lifestyle. This will be the last warning. ༼ ▀̿̿Ĺ̯̿̿▀̿ ̿ ༽ ᴊ
twitch chat
May 2014
Kripp

Failed as a pepperino pizza

twitchquotes: Mʏ ʙᴏʏ, Kʀɪᴘᴘᴀʀɪɴᴏ ᴅɪᴅᴅʟᴇʀɪɴᴏ, ᴡʜʏ ʏᴏᴜ ᴅᴏɴ'ᴛ ɢᴏ ᴏᴜᴛ ɪɴᴛᴏ ᴛʜᴇ ɴɪɢʜᴛ ᴀɴᴅ sᴜᴄᴋ ʙʟᴏᴏᴅ ʟɪᴋᴇ ᴀ ɢᴏᴏᴅ ʀᴏᴍᴀɴɪᴀɴ ᴠᴀᴍᴘɪʀᴇ?" ᴀɴᴅ ᴀʟʟ Kʀɪᴘᴘᴇʀɪɴᴏ sᴀʏ ɪs, "Rɪᴘ ɪɴ ᴘᴇᴘᴘᴇʀᴏɴɪ" ᴀɴᴅ ᴘᴀᴘᴘᴀғᴀʀʀɪᴀɴ ɢᴏ, "ɪ ᴅᴏ ɴᴏᴛ ᴜɴᴅᴇʀsᴛᴀɴᴅ ᴛʜɪs ɴᴇᴡғᴀɴɢʟᴇᴅ ᴀᴍᴇʀɪᴄᴀɴ ʟᴀɴɢᴜᴀɢᴇ ʏᴏᴜ sᴘᴇᴀᴋ, ɪ ʜᴀᴠᴇ ғᴀɪʟᴇᴅ ᴀs ᴀ ғᴀᴛʜᴇʀ ᴀɴᴅ ᴀs ᴀ ᴘᴇᴘᴘᴇʀɪɴᴏ ᴘɪᴢᴢᴀ
twitch chat
April 2014
Kripp

Upside-dong

twitchquotes: ( ͜o ͡ʖ ͜o) im upside-dong ( ͜o ͡ʖ ͜o)
twitch chat
August 2014
MushIsGosu

You used ect instead of etc

Hello! You have made the mistake of writing "ect" instead of "etc." "Ect" is a common misspelling of "etc," an abbreviated form of the Latin phrase "et cetera." Other abbreviated forms are etc., &c., &c, and et cet. The Latin translates as "et" to "and" + "cetera" to "the rest;" a literal translation to "and the rest" is the easiest way to remember how to use the phrase.
May 2022

I Am Very Smart

Henry Dongerman and his pet donger Mr Mittens

twitchquotes: Hey my name is Henry Dongerman I lost my pet donger. Here's a picture of him [ᕙ༼ຈل͜ຈ༽ᕗ] if you can help find him I would be eternally grateful he means the world to me. Mr. Mittens is his name if it helps share this around and pray to lord donger to help find him. His favorite song is ᕙ༼ຈلຈ༽ᕗ HARDER BETTER FASTER DONGER ᕙ༼ຈلຈ༽ᕗ so try playing that he may come
twitch chat
July 2014
Kripp
(▀̿Ĺ̯├┬┴┬┴ Psst... kid, you wanna disable adblock?

Kripp and his tiny peckerwood

twitchquotes: Omg Kripp... I remember seeing you in the hallways during school. I remember seeing your zipper down and I kept eyeing you tiny peckerwood. You always had the cutest grin. Please call me (205-069-1337) and find me. I will always love you. ~Eddy Pepperino (not wearing any panties atm).
twitch chat
April 2014
Kripp

Kripp if you don't play a lonely island song next...

twitchquotes: Kripp, if you don't play a lonely island song in the next 5 minutes i will go to your house, pet your cat, eat your pizza, drink your oj, spill your salt and copy your pasta, plz no copy pasterino lonerino islanderino
twitch chat
November 2014
Kripp

Hurr Durr Durr Pizza

twitchquotes: ᕕOpieOPᕗ Hello Kripp, Cybrix here. Just wanted to say: ♩♬~♪ HURR DURR PIZZA ♩♬~♪ . ♩♬~♪ HURR DURR PIZZA ♩♬~♪ . ♩♬~♪ HURR DURR PIZZA ♩♬~♪ . ♩♬~♪ HURR DURR PIZZA ♩♬~♪ . ♩♬~♪HURR DURR PIZZA ♩♬~♪ . ♩♬~♪ HURR DURR PIZZA ᕕOpieOPᕗ
twitch chat
June 2014
Kripp

This is Catarrian's mother

twitchquotes: Hello Octavian, this is the Catarrian's mother. I am writing to in human words because the Catarrian feels he has been mistreated. He tells me "meow" which means that he feels you are not giving him enough stream time. And he also said "Nyaa," which means you better pet the Catarrian
twitch chat
December 2014
Kripp
I used to be a real ad

Deathrattle is "Lose the game"

twitchquotes: Guys what if Acidic swamp ooze was a 30/30, but its deathrattle was "Lose the game"? Would this be balanced? Should I contact bilbarzard??
twitch chat
November 2014
Reynad
Text-to-Speech Playing