twitchquotes:
ｗｈｅｎ ｗｅｌｌ ｍｅｔ， ｍｙ ｅｙｅ ａｕｔｏｍａｔｉｃａｌｌｙ ｇｏ ｔｏ ｔｈｅ ｐａｌａｄｉｎ． ｉ ｄｉｖｉｎｅ ｓｈｉｅｌｄ ｍｙ ｄｉｃｋ ａｎｄ ｆｅｅｌ ｉ ｈａｖｅ ｓｅｘ ｗｉｔｈ ｔｈｅ ｒｅｃｒｕｉ ｔ． ａｌｌ ｂｅｃｏｍｉｎｇ ｇｅｔ ｄｏｗｎ．
twitch chat
Kripp
I used to be a real ad
More Kripp Copypastas
Kripp tenderly slid back the wrapper of the card pack
twitchquotes:
Kripp tenderly slid back the wrapper of the card pack. His fingers were soft and smelled faintly of cucumber. He slowly pulled out the card, caressing it with his fingers. "I didn't expect it to be so big", he said as he looked at the 7/7 stats. "And only 4 mana?" he said and moaned softly.
twitch chat
Kripp
Hearthstone
Hey Kripp, how's it going, Hero Academy 2 Dev here
twitchquotes:
Hey Kripp, how's it going, Hero Academy 2 Dev here. We noticed that your salty streams are interesting and entertaining. To fix this issue, we have decided to offer you money to play our very uninteresting and boring card game that is clearly a clone of Hearthstone. We look forward to future business with you and hope that you can sellout out a little bit more in the future. 
twitch chat
Kripp
Hearthstone
salty
Who is Octavian Morosan
twitch chat
Kripp
United States of America is now known as West Iran
twitchquotes:
The year is 2024. The United States of America is now known as West Iran after the assassination of Supreme Leader Donald Trump from drone warfare. I hide in my nuclear bunker, praying to God that I survive another night. I open my laptop and see Kripp streaming some HS battlegrounds, still forcing murlocs and hardstuck at 7k MMR. "Still never lucky, huh old friend..." I whisper to myself as the bombs fall outside...
twitch chat
Kripp
Hearthstone
Tanner throws his disheveled red McDonald's hat
twitchquotes:
Tanner throws his disheveled red McDonald's hat and apron onto the beer-stained couch. He turns on the computer monitor which nearly blinds him, and light floods the room, revealing the months worth of pizza boxes and beers strewn about the floor. He opens Microsoft Edge. His fingers stick to the keyboard as he types "Kripp's stream" into Bing search, ready for another successful day of roasting Kripp.
twitch chat
Kripp