[Copypasta] Porn scene fanfic

Cashier was at home until someone came to the door. He opened the door and a very cute girl selling girl scout cookies was there. "Do you want any cookies sir?", she asked him. Cashier asked, "is there any other way I could pay?" THEY FUCK
July 2022
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas

Jacked off in the shower while laying down in the tub

Jacked off in the shower while laying down in the tub -- shower water raining down from above. It was very nice and ended nicely. Later that day, I went to take a shit. Shit wouldn't come out, and I felt an odd tugging sensation between my ass cheeks. Thought I was dying and started freaking out while I tried to pinch my shit off to investigate. Turns out my jizz had found its way into my ass cheeks while laying down in the tub, mingled with all my ass hair, and solidified into a gelatinous plaster. Upon shitting, the hair was so fucked together that my cheeks couldn't separate for the shit to emerge (felt like that playdoh hair salon toy). I ended up having such a massacre of shitcum on my ass and hands that I had to get back in the shower just to clean off.
December 2020

12 win cotten mitten pitten

twitchquotes: When Kripp gets a pitten its a 12 win cotton mitten pitten. He gets so smitten his donger becomes a biggen. Now his donger being a biggen while hes smitten wearing mittens, he can no longer fap to his winning arena pittens. Help Kripp with his biggen so spam this donger omission about Kripps pittens that is a 12 win cotton mitten pitten. No copy pasteritten.
twitch chat
July 2014
Kripp

When life gives you lemons, don't make lemonade (Portal)

When life gives you lemons, don't make lemonade. Make life take the lemons back! Get mad! I don't want your damn lemons, what the hell am I supposed to do with these? Demand to see life's manager! Make life rue the day it thought it could give Cave Johnson lemons! Do you know who I am? I'm the man who's gonna burn your house down! With the lemons! I'm gonna get my engineers to invent a combustible lemon that burns your house down!
May 2021

LEC aka Legendary Elite Conference

twitchquotes: LEC - aka “Legendary Elite Conference,” is a League for Riot Games that is often acclaimed for its limitless pool of talent and innovative gameplay. It is specifically known for embarrassing a certain minor region in the fastest MSI Finals ever.
twitch chat
July 2019
Riot Games

League of Legends

Red futures :(

Bought a bunch of calls thinking I was going to be able to afford an escort to shit on my chest, now it's these red futures that are shitting on my chest.
February 2021

WallStreetBets

Text-to-Speech Playing