Cashier was at home until someone came to the door. He opened the door and a very cute girl selling girl scout cookies was there. "Do you want any cookies sir?", she asked him. Cashier asked, "is there any other way I could pay?"
THEY FUCK
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Alien through telescope
twitchquotes:
⠀ ﾟ⠀*⠀ ｡⠀ ⠀ﾟ⠀｡ ⠀ ⠀⠀ ☆⠀ ⠀★⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ･ﾟ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ★⠀ ｡･⠀⠀⠀ﾟ⠀⠀｡⠀ ⠀⠀⠀ ⠀ ★⠀ ⠀ ･･⠀⠀ ⠀ ∴⠀⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ﾟ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ *⠀ﾟ⠀⠀⠀★⠀⠀⠀ ｡･⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀I CANT BELIEVE MY EYES 🔭 
⠀ ﾟ⠀*⠀ ｡⠀ ⠀ﾟ⠀｡ ⠀ ⠀⠀ ☆⠀ ⠀★⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ･ﾟ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ★⠀ ｡･⠀⠀⠀ﾟ⠀⠀｡⠀ ⠀⠀⠀ ⠀ ★⠀ ⠀ ･･⠀⠀ ⠀ ∴⠀⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ﾟ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ *⠀ﾟ⠀⠀⠀★⠀⠀⠀ ｡･⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀I CANT BELIEVE MY EYES 🔭
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GME stock and WSB vs short sellers
Let me tell you what happens tomorrow because it's even worse than what happened today. There they are, Melvin Capital. Furiously jerking their 2 inch boomer cocks to their GME short gainz. They are so close, edging themselves with "Oh yeah, the next Blockbuster" and "Yes baby, brick and mortar go bye-bye." They even sit in a circle sucking and jerking each other off, double fisting like they're skiing down Mt. Everest with cocks instead of poles.
Out of nowhere, Ryan Cohen steps in with the most massive and vieniest schlong they've ever seen. He starts eating their lunch and muttering about Cheey for games and they can't do anything because their engorged penises are stuck in eachothers mouths and poop chutes. They attempt to ignorr him and try to keep jerking but they accidentally used hand sanitizer instead of lotion. BAM GME starts rising from the ashes and the retards of WSB are lighting the fires. We brought lighters that we borrowed from our wives boyfriend's and they weren't those shitty clear one. We have motherfucking Bics and torches.
Melvin is crying and pleading but we are too retarded to understand coherent English. They see giant red dildos on their screens and their buttholes begin to pucker. They dump everything they have at us in an attempt to supress the price but again, we only understand broken english and emojis. We only understand basic visuals and colors. When we see green, we buy. When we see red, we take out another student loan or CC cash advance and we buy more. We are fucking unstoppable. GME skyrockets and they start scrambling to pull dicks out of random orifices, but it's too late. Bears R Fuk. After we are done splooging all over their faces, and becoming their wife's new boyfriends, we throw Melvin and BOA on the chopping block to be liquidated and disposed of.
That's what happens tomorrow, and we are gonna turn that shit into a movie.
WallStreetBets
A collecion of OwOs and their uses
twitchquotes:
A collecion of OwOs and their uses: OwO : Standard use, for noticing bulges owo : When the bulge isn't as big uwu : When you're not impressed by the bulge or there isn't one ÒwÓ : Mischievous OwO, for when you're feeling devious □w□ : The OwO for people who wear glasses ●w● : The OwO if you're wearing sunglasses Owo : For feeling confused of the bulge ♡w♡ : The legendary OwO, used for bulges so large that you get heart eyes from it. Do not use this emote lightly, for the power of it is great
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Weebs
A single Dongerbill can save a life
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Hello, I'm Sarah McLanchdong. Every day millions of poor, helpless dongers go unraised everyday. Dongers that are abused and negated, like this poor fellow ༼ ▀̿ ̿ ل͟ຈ ༽. For just one Dongerbill [̲$̲(̲ ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°̲)̲$̲] a day we can help save these forgotten dongers (◉_☢) ༼ ͝°ʖಠ ༽ ( ͡°ل͜ º) from a life time of being lowered. Your there only hope, because just a minute of your time and a single Dongerbill [̲$̲(̲ ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°̲)̲$̲] can save a life.
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