Cashier was at home until someone came to the door. He opened the door and a very cute girl selling girl scout cookies was there. "Do you want any cookies sir?", she asked him. Cashier asked, "is there any other way I could pay?"
THEY FUCK
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas
Natalie Portman is the reason I work out
Natalie Portman is the reason I work out. I have this fantasy where we start talking at the Vanity Fair Oscars party bar. We exchange a few pleasantries. She asks what I do. I say I loved her in New Girl. She laughs. I get my drink.
"Well, see ya," I say and walk away. I've got her attention now. How many guys voluntarily leave a conversation with Natalie Portman? She touches her neck as she watches me leave.
Later, as the night's dragged on and the coterie of gorgeous narcissists grows increasingly loose, she finds me on the balcony, my bowtie undone, smoking a cigarette.
"Got a spare?" she asks.
"What's in it for me?" I say as I hand her one of my little white ladies. She smiles.
"Conversation with me, duh."
I laugh.
"What's so funny?" she protests.
"Nothing, nothing... It's just... don't you grow tired of the egos?"
"You get used to it," she says, lighting her cigarette and handing me back the lighter.
"What would you do if you weren't an actress?" I ask.
"Teaching, I think."
"And if I was your student, what would I be learning?"
"Discipline," she says quickly, looking up into my eyes, before changing the subject. "Where are you from?"
"Bermuda," I say.
"Oh wow. That's lovely."
"It's ok," I admit. "Not everything is to my liking."
"What could possibly be not to your liking in Bermuda?" she inquires.
"I don't like sand," I tell her. "It's coarse and rough and irritating and it gets everywhere."
Classic
heart been broke
heart ๐ been broke ๐ so many times โฐ i donโt know 
what to believe ๐ฏ mama ๐ฉโโค๏ธโ๐โ๐ฉ said ๐ฃ itโs my fault ๐ข itโs my fault ๐คฆ๐ปโโ๏ธi wear my heart โค๏ธ on my sleeve ๐ช i think itโs best ๐๐ป I put my heart โค๏ธ on ice ๐ง
what to believe ๐ฏ mama ๐ฉโโค๏ธโ๐โ๐ฉ said ๐ฃ itโs my fault ๐ข itโs my fault ๐คฆ๐ปโโ๏ธi wear my heart โค๏ธ on my sleeve ๐ช i think itโs best ๐๐ป I put my heart โค๏ธ on ice ๐ง
Emoji Pasta
A middle aged man complaining about an online children's card game
twitchquotes:
Why does anyone watch this guys stream? Its just a middle aged man complaining about an online children's card game. Its not even interesting either? please.. dont copy and paste this. its serious..he has 20k + viewers almost constantly
twitch chat
Kripp
The year is 2088, Kripp lays tattered on his deathbed
twitchquotes:
The year is 2088, Kripp lays tattered on his deathbed, his organs absolutely ravaged from years of veganism. He turns to his computer monitor for one last look at his beloved twitch chat only to see a bunch of weebs, emote spam and copy pasta. Tears fill his lifeless, vegan eyes. Rania is at his side as he draws on all his power to take his last breath and say the only enlightening words that come to mind.. "K"
twitch chat
Kripp
THANK MR SKELTAL
twitchquotes:
THANK MR SKELTAL๐๐บ๐๐บ๐๐บ๐๐บ๐๐บ gooD boNes n calcium๐ thank ๐บ mr skeltal g๐๐ood bones๐๐and calc๐ ium๐๐๐ good bones๐บand calcium ๐บ๐บif i dootฦฝaาฏ thank skeltal man ๐ถ doot doot doot doot๐ถ good bones n calcium good bones (chorus: dootdoot) mMMMMแทะ๐ถ ๐๐๐DO0ะเฌ ๏ผฏOO๏ผฏOะเฌ เฌ OoooแตแตแตแตแตแตแตแตแตT๐ ๐ ๐๐ ๐ถ ๐ ๐บ ๐บ ๐บ ๐๐thank mr skeltal
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