[Copypasta] People space jammed from the oldest of times

twitchquotes: From the oldest of times, people jammed for a number of reasons. They jammed in prayer... or so that their crops would be plentiful... or so their hunt would be good. And they Jammed to stay physically fit... and show their community spirit. And they Jammed to celebrate." And that is the Jamming we're talking about. Aren't we told in Psalm 149 "Praise ye the Lord Octavian. Slam Jam unto the Lord Octavian a new song. Let them praise His name in the Space Jam"? And it was King David - King David, who we read about in Samuel - and what did David do? What did David do? He jammed
twitch chat
September 2014
Kripp
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Best Polish one arm player

twitchquotes: i, my name Andrzej Waclawski, I'm Polish war veteran. In war of world 2 I lose right arm, never to grow back. My dream of become rank one superstar Polish Cardstone player make shattered forever. I like to get tip from the Kripp how I can become best Polish one arm player. Please no copytovski pasterovski
twitch chat
October 2014
Kripp

Kripp, this is an intervention

twitchquotes: Kripp, this is an intervention. We are very worried about you. Ever since you started playing Hearthstone, you have been becoming more and more casual. We care about you very much, but we can't just sit back and watch you torture yourself. Perhaps religion may help, have you heard of your lord and savior, RNGesus?
twitch chat
December 2014
Kripp

We here at NL_KRIPP welcome all TRUMP subs

twitchquotes: We here at NL_KRIPP welcome all TRUMP subs. This is a safe place for you all to congregate. You will not be harmed. You are all stellar examples of humanity and we want you here. Type trumpW, let your inner donger soar.
twitch chat
April 2015
Kripp

Hitler messages Kripp

twitchquotes: Hey Kripp how's it going, Hitler here. I've heard rumors that you've been MUTING your mic whenever our Nazi propaganda wagon drives through the area! As punishment for your crimes, you will forward some of your Colombian drug funds as tribute to my good friends working at Google+ to restore the Third Reich to its former glory.
twitch chat
July 2014
Kripp

Popsicle burglaries

twitchquotes: Local police are baffled by a string of strange popsicle burglaries that have taken place over the past few days. The thief appears to be ignoring cash, jewelry, and other valuables, only taking sugary treats from the residents' freezers. Police have yet to apprehend the burglar, but have several reports of a suspicious lanky figure with poor hygiene seen near the crime scenes muttering about "value." Any further information on the popsicle bandit should be reported immediately.
twitch chat
August 2016
Kripp
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