[Copypasta] which position would you be in a human centipede?

When asked "which position would you be in a human centipede?" most would answer "first." I, however would answer third. Why you ask? When asked "which position would you be in a human centipede?" most would answer "first." I, however, would answer third. Why you ask? When the first member of the centipede is fed, they will eventually defecate forcing the second member to ingest their feces. One could imagine that would be considered incredibly disgusting. As such, the second member would immediately vomit. After vomit travels into the first member's anus and up into their colon, they'll then pust another load into the second member's mouth even more disgusting than the last. The third member would never ingest the feces of the second member as they will always vomit what the first member expels back into them. The third member of the centipede gets to chill while the first and second trade a volley of shitty barf with each other forever.
May 2022
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More Copypastas

Tyler from the seven seas

twitchquotes: So you're going by "MOONMOON" now huh matey? Haha whats up scalleywag, it's Tyler from the seven seas. Remember me? Me and the fellas used to give you a hard time on the water. Sorry you were just an easy target lol. I can see not much has changed. Remember Sarah the old scag you had a crush on? Yeah we're married now. I pillage over 200 isles a year and drive a cream interior sloop. I guess some things never change huh loser? Nice catching up lol. Pathetic.
twitch chat
December 2018
MOONMOON

Tanner from High School

If my Bitcoin and my girl both drowning

twitchquotes: If my Bitcoin💲💰 and my girl😍👰 both drowning😱🌊 and I could only save one😤😬 Catch me HODL'ing at my girls funeral😔👻🌹 Cuz its To The Moon or Nothing, kiddo 💰💯🔥😎📈💲
twitch chat
January 2018

Its the final hand of the Mortdog High Stakes Poker Tourney

Its the final hand of the Mortdog High Stakes Poker Tourney. Kiyoon can be heard screaming "its a third??” after losing the last hand. Only Raydiz and K3soju are left. Mort deals their cards. Soju smirks and says “alright, bet”. Ray, feeling confident, slides all his chips into the middle of the table “fuck it, we’re all in this round”. Soju confidently throws down his cards “3 aces, KEWK”. Ray laughs and reveals his winning hand “I have a straight flush, diamond 1 to diamond 5”
July 2022

Teamfight Tactics

Did you ever hear the tragedy of Darth Plagueis The Wise?

twitchquotes: Did you ever hear the tragedy of Darth Plagueis The Wise? I thought not. It’s not a story the Jedi would tell you. It’s a Sith legend. Darth Plagueis was a Dark Lord of the Sith, so powerful and so wise he could use the Force to influence the midichlorians to create life… He had such a knowledge of the dark side that he could even keep the ones he cared about from dying. The dark side of the Force is a pathway to many abilities some consider to be unnatural. He became so powerful… the only thing he was afraid of was losing his power, which eventually, of course, he did. Unfortunately, he taught his apprentice everything he knew, then his apprentice killed him in his sleep. Ironic. He could save others from death, but not himself.
twitch chat
April 2017

Tragedy of Darth Plagueis The Wise

Classic

Unhappy Gordon Ramsey

⠁⡼⠋⠀⣆⠀⠀⣰⣿⣫⣾⢿⣿⣿⠍⢠⠠⠀⠀⢀⠰⢾⣺⣻⣿⣿⣿⣷⡀⠀ ⣥⠀⠀⠀⠁⠀⠠⢻⢬⠁⣠⣾⠛⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠐⠱⠏⡉⠙⣿⣿⡇⠀ ⢳⠀⢰⡖⠀⠀⠈⠀⣺⢰⣿⢻⣾⣶⣿⣿⣶⣶⣤⣤⣴⣾⣿⣷⣼⡆⢸⣿⣧⠀ ⠈⠀⠜⠈⣀⣔⣦⢨⣿⣿⣿⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣅⣼⠛⢹⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⢋⡿⡿⣯⣭⡟⣟⣿⣿⣽⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠀⡘⠀ ⡀⠐⠀⠀⠀⣿⣯⡿⣿⣿⣿⣯⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠋⣉⢽⣿⡆⠀⠀ ⢳⠀⠄⠀⢀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠙⠉⠉⠉⠛⣻⢛⣿⠛⠃⠀⠐⠛⠻⣿⡇⠀⠀ ⣾⠄⠀⠀⢸⣿⣿⡿⠟⠛⠁⢀⠀⢀⡄⣀⣠⣾⣿⣿⡠⣴⣎⣀⣠⣠⣿⡇⠀⠀ ⣧⠀⣴⣄⣽⣿⣿⣿⣶⣶⣖⣶⣬⣾⣿⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣽⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⠀⠀ ⣿⣶⣈⡯⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠋⣹⢧⣿⣿⣿⣄⠙⢿⣿⣿⣿⠇⠀⠀ ⠹⣿⣿⣧⢌⢽⣻⢿⣯⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⣠⡘⠿⠟⠛⠛⠟⠛⣧⡈⠻⣾⣿⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠈⠉⣷⡿⣽⠶⡾⢿⣿⣿⣿⢃⣤⣿⣷⣤⣤⣄⣄⣠⣼⡿⢷⢀⣿⡏⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⢀⣿⣷⠌⣈⣏⣝⠽⡿⣷⣾⣏⣀⣉⣉⣀⣀⣀⣠⣠⣄⡸⣾⣿⠃⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⣰⡿⣿⣧⡐⠄⠱⣿⣺⣽⢟⣿⣿⢿⣿⣍⠉⢀⣀⣐⣼⣯⡗⠟⡏⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⣰⣿⠀⣿⣿⣴⡀⠂⠘⢹⣭⡂⡚⠿⢿⣿⣿⣿⡿⢿⢿⡿⠿⢁⣴⣿⣷⣶⣦⣤
February 2022
Text-to-Speech Playing