[Copypasta] We require you to change your Twitch name to hl_kripp

twitchquotes: Hello Kripparino, this is Noah Liferino, CEO of No Life Incorporated©. As you may already know, we are requiring you to change your Twitch name to hl_kripp (has life) as you no longer are a "no life". This was stated in the contract you signed under section 6 article 9 paragraph 420. This is to be enforced immediately.
twitch chat
March 2015
Kripp
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United States of America is now known as West Iran

twitchquotes: The year is 2024. The United States of America is now known as West Iran after the assassination of Supreme Leader Donald Trump from drone warfare. I hide in my nuclear bunker, praying to God that I survive another night. I open my laptop and see Kripp streaming some HS battlegrounds, still forcing murlocs and hardstuck at 7k MMR. "Still never lucky, huh old friend..." I whisper to myself as the bombs fall outside...
twitch chat
February 2020
Kripp

Hearthstone

Twitch Chat created a strategy that revolved around...

twitchquotes: Twitch Chat created a strategy that revolved around trying to defeat your livestreamer in one minute with a bunch of copypasta in the chat. Fighting for chat control and battles between mods make an overall chat more fun and compelling, but taking the same pasta and copying it 20+ times is not particularly fun or interactive...
twitch chat
September 2015
Kripp

Kripp fills me completely with value

twitchquotes: I stayed up all night, dreaming of this moment. My pulse is racing. Discarded salt packets and OJ cartons are strewn across the filthy bedroom floor. "Oh look it's another sub," says the Kripp. I am now fully erect. "Welcome to the five dollar club, bro" I barely hear as a single tear runs down my cheek while Kripp's fist fills me completely with value.
twitch chat
November 2014
Kripp

Troves lump

twitchquotes: So kripp moves closer to trump, whispering nasty things into the air, trump moves away in horror at Kripp's indecency, they both stop for a second and stare into eachothers eyes, kripp finally realises that he troves Lump
twitch chat
May 2015
Kripp

Whenever kripp says "alright subber-bros"

twitchquotes: Whenever kripp says "alright subber-bros", I know it's time. I full screen the stream and grab my vaseline. I apply a huge load onto my newly shaved butthole and rub it all around nice and even. And then, when kripp says "thanks, and welcome to the 5 dollar club", I place my butthole in front of the screen. It is in that moment, that kripp fists me. I moan with pleasure. I'm one with the kripp
twitch chat
October 2018
Kripp
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