[Copypasta] Response to "who gives a shit"

Well you see, if you didn't care you wouldn't have said "Literally no one gives a shit" in the first place. If you truly did not care, you would of completely ignored the conversation from the very start. The fact that you said that just shows the childishness inside of you. All that saying "no one gives a shit" does is make you out to be an entitled, lower person who craves attention by trying to seem cool. Even if you do not care about this statement, the mere fact that you are saying "no one gives a shit" says a lot about you. And shows that you are in fact an unlikable individual. Regardless of if you care of not, these are goddamn facts, and facts do not care about your little peabrained fucking pissbaby feelings. No amount of not caring will change your unlikableness. Nobody will forget this moment and it'll be embedded into our minds for months, even years. Grow up a little before even thinking about responding to another innocent person with "No one gives a shit".
April 2022
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More Copypastas

Back in my day copying a message took skill

twitchquotes: ( ͡ʘ╭͜ʖ╮͡ʘ) Back in my day copying a message took skill. Now the chat stops moving when you scroll up. Disrespectful kids and their technology. ( ͡ʘ╭͜ʖ╮͡ʘ)
twitch chat
August 2015
Reynad

NA COMING THROUGH

twitchquotes: NA COMING THROUGH ♿ GO TO SCHOOL RISK LIFE ♿ 10 IQ PRESIDENT ♿ GETTING MY SISTER PREGNANT ♿ WALL ♿ THINK THEY SAVED WORLD WAR ♿ NA EDUCATION ♿ GOVERNMENT SO BAD HAD TO SHUT DOWN
twitch chat
February 2019

EU vs NA

Competitive Super Smash Bros Melee has reached its zenith

twitchquotes: The year is 20XX. Competitive Super Smash Bros Melee has reached its zenith. No longer are matches decided through complex inputs and tactics. It began when some questioned the idea of matchups against characters. The community realized that gameplay no longer mattered, and only the character. Tournaments became complex games of rock-paper-scissors, and eventually another epiphany was had. Why bother with deciding afterwards and wasting time when the match could be decided before it began? Thus, referees decided who won and who lost automatically using a combination of facial recognition AI, mandatory reflex tests, and standardized quizzes and tests on military tactics and stratagem. With time, tests weren't even needed. Judges became so acute at deciding who won and who lost that tournaments happened in seconds, and results uploaded in less. The final destination was reached. Babies were bred and engineered to become the most desirable "players", if one could call it that. Soon, humanity ceased to think, and became mindless slaves to the autonomous ones and zeroes that decided their worth, ironically becoming the machines they once played with.
twitch chat
May 2020

Super Smash Bros

GME stock and WSB vs short sellers

Let me tell you what happens tomorrow because it's even worse than what happened today. There they are, Melvin Capital. Furiously jerking their 2 inch boomer cocks to their GME short gainz. They are so close, edging themselves with "Oh yeah, the next Blockbuster" and "Yes baby, brick and mortar go bye-bye." They even sit in a circle sucking and jerking each other off, double fisting like they're skiing down Mt. Everest with cocks instead of poles. Out of nowhere, Ryan Cohen steps in with the most massive and vieniest schlong they've ever seen. He starts eating their lunch and muttering about Cheey for games and they can't do anything because their engorged penises are stuck in eachothers mouths and poop chutes. They attempt to ignorr him and try to keep jerking but they accidentally used hand sanitizer instead of lotion. BAM GME starts rising from the ashes and the retards of WSB are lighting the fires. We brought lighters that we borrowed from our wives boyfriend's and they weren't those shitty clear one. We have motherfucking Bics and torches. Melvin is crying and pleading but we are too retarded to understand coherent English. They see giant red dildos on their screens and their buttholes begin to pucker. They dump everything they have at us in an attempt to supress the price but again, we only understand broken english and emojis. We only understand basic visuals and colors. When we see green, we buy. When we see red, we take out another student loan or CC cash advance and we buy more. We are fucking unstoppable. GME skyrockets and they start scrambling to pull dicks out of random orifices, but it's too late. Bears R Fuk. After we are done splooging all over their faces, and becoming their wife's new boyfriends, we throw Melvin and BOA on the chopping block to be liquidated and disposed of. That's what happens tomorrow, and we are gonna turn that shit into a movie.
December 2020

WallStreetBets

Response to "go fuck yourself"

What if I'm already fucking myself? Behind this simple insult hides a universal paradox that may put your sexuality in question. Let's do a simple thought experiment: imagine us two standing in front of each other. I, of course, am wearing a pair of jeans, that are covering my genitals and my butt. You then command me to "go fuck myself". I may be fucking myself already. I may as well not be fucking myself already. Until my dick and its position relative to my ass is observed, it is simultaneously in my ass, but also outside of it - thus, it stays in superposition. The moment you lay eyes on my penis, both states collide with each other and become either one. You may have already guessed what the problem here is. As soon as a single photon reflected by my dick enters either one of your eyes, you become gay. The only way to avoid this is to not observe my penis. But if you don't look at it, then you will never know if your insult had any effect, thus rendering it meaningless. Since you have already made the insult, you are now, too, in superposition - you're either wrong, or gay. It's unfortunate, really - you dug a hole for yourself without even knowing it. All you can do now is accept it, and learn from your mistakes.
April 2020

Classic

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