[Copypasta] An exceedingly excellent "your mother" joke

Greetings. My name is Beef, and today I would like to present an exceedingly excellent "your mother" joke. I will now begin. Your biological mother is so morbidly obese, when she went to go get her yearly physical done, the doctor took her blood and the results concluded that she had a high blood pressure, onset type 2 diabetes, hypertension and the possibility of heart disease. She also suffers from severe depression, because she lacks confidence in her physical appearance, which enables her to consume even more food, making her more obese. Not to mention, but your mother is becoming so monstrous, she had a hard time fitting through small spaces and exceeding weight limits on practical applications. Your mother has an endless cycle of malicious eating habits that only make her health worsen over time. I hope whoever has just read this enjoyed the humorous "your mother" joke. Thank you for your time, and have a blessed day.
April 2022
(β–€ΜΏΔΉΜ―β”œβ”¬β”΄β”¬β”΄ Psst... kid, you wanna disable adblock?
More Copypastas

Among us has ruined a generation

Among us has ruined a generation. Everywhere I go, I see their divisor. It can't be stopped. I go shopping and I find among us mini figures. I look online for a better bin, and then I find a trash can with a red colour, and I can't stop myself saying "HAHA THATS A BIT SUSSY!" I look for champion clothes, but hold on- if you rotate the c it turns into- oh no... Gen Z wont stop saying a sentence without the word SUS in it. SOS? SUS. I go to Mcdonalds to cheer myself up, but while browsing through my phone, I find that a nugget in the shape of AMOGUS sold for over $1000 dollars, I only wanted peace, but innersloth has become a bit sussy.
April 2022

Among Us / Amogus

Gregory, do you see the small vent on the floor?

Gregory, do you see the small vent on the floor? Have you ever heard of Among Us, Gregory? You need to vent. I know it will be hard for you to be sus, but i know you can do it Gregory.
January 2022

Among Us / Amogus

Five Nights at Freddy's

WHEN THE IMPOSTOR IS SUS (text)

β–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–ˆβ–€β–€β–‘β–ˆβ–€β–ˆ β–‘β–ˆβ–„β–ˆβ–‘β–ˆβ–€β–ˆβ–‘β–ˆβ–€β–€β–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–ˆ β–‘β–€β–‘β–€β–‘β–€β–‘β–€β–‘β–€β–€β–€β–‘β–€β–‘β–€ β–‘β–€β–ˆβ–€β–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–ˆβ–€β–€ β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–€β–ˆβ–‘β–ˆβ–€β–€ β–‘β–‘β–€β–‘β–‘β–€β–‘β–€β–‘β–€β–€β–€ β–‘β–€β–ˆβ–€β–‘β–ˆβ–„β–ˆβ–‘β–ˆβ–€β–ˆβ–‘β–ˆβ–€β–ˆβ–‘β–ˆβ–€β–€β–‘β–€β–ˆβ–€β–‘β–ˆβ–€β–ˆβ–‘β–ˆβ–€β–„ β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–ˆβ–€β–€β–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–€β–€β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–ˆβ–€β–„ β–‘β–€β–€β–€β–‘β–€β–‘β–€β–‘β–€β–‘β–‘β–‘β–€β–€β–€β–‘β–€β–€β–€β–‘β–‘β–€β–‘β–‘β–€β–€β–€β–‘β–€β–‘β–€ β–‘β–€β–ˆβ–€β–‘β–ˆβ–€β–€ β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–€β–€β–ˆ β–‘β–€β–€β–€β–‘β–€β–€β–€ β–‘β–ˆβ–€β–€β–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–ˆβ–€β–€ β–‘β–€β–€β–ˆβ–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–€β–€β–ˆ β–‘β–€β–€β–€β–‘β–€β–€β–€β–‘β–€β–€β–€      
April 2021

Among Us / Amogus

Anyways uhm... I bought a whole bunch of RFLCT

twitchquotes: Anyways uhm... I bought a whole bunch of RFLCT, cream, do you know what blue light is? Anybody knows what blue light is? No, not bud light. I think that's a beer brand. Talking blue light. Anyways, RFLCT is a new skin care product that protects against blue light and unwanted blue light that may be coming from your monitor. So that's my story. I bought a whole bunch of stuff, put them around the la casa. Little bottles. Stuff like that.
twitch chat
October 2021

Megaman

β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–„β–„β–ˆβ–€β–€β–„β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–„β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–„β–„β–ˆβ–„β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–„β–€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–„β–„β–ˆβ–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–ˆβ–€β–‘β–‘β–„β–„β–€β–ˆβ–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–„β–ˆβ–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–€β–€β–‘β–€β–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–„β–ˆβ–€β–‘β–‘β–€β–ˆβ–‘β–€β–€β–€β–€β–„β–€β–€β–ˆβ–„β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–„β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–‘β–„β–‘β–‘β–€β–€β–€β–€β–€β–„β–‘β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–„β–‘ β–‘β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–‘ β–‘β–€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–€β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–„β–ˆβ–„β–‘β–€β–€β–ˆβ–€β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–„β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–„β–„β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–„β–€β–‘β–€β–„β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–„β–„β–‘ β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆ
November 2014
Text-to-Speech Playing