Greetings. My name is Beef, and today I would like to present an exceedingly excellent "your mother" joke. I will now begin.
Your biological mother is so morbidly obese, when she went to go get her yearly physical done, the doctor took her blood and the results concluded that she had a high blood pressure, onset type 2 diabetes, hypertension and the possibility of heart disease. She also suffers from severe depression, because she lacks confidence in her physical appearance, which enables her to consume even more food, making her more obese. Not to mention, but your mother is becoming so monstrous, she had a hard time fitting through small spaces and exceeding weight limits on practical applications. Your mother has an endless cycle of malicious eating habits that only make her health worsen over time.
I hope whoever has just read this enjoyed the humorous "your mother" joke. Thank you for your time, and have a blessed day.
(βΜΏΔΉΜ―ββ¬β΄β¬β΄ Psst... kid, you wanna disable adblock?
More Copypastas
heart been broke
heart π been broke π so many times β° i donβt know 
what to believe π― mama π©ββ€οΈβπβπ© said π£ itβs my fault π’ itβs my fault π€¦π»ββοΈi wear my heart β€οΈ on my sleeve πͺ i think itβs best ππ» I put my heart β€οΈ on ice π§
what to believe π― mama π©ββ€οΈβπβπ© said π£ itβs my fault π’ itβs my fault π€¦π»ββοΈi wear my heart β€οΈ on my sleeve πͺ i think itβs best ππ» I put my heart β€οΈ on ice π§
Emoji Pasta
Qtpie, this is your dad here
twitchquotes:
qtpie, this is your dad here. i just wanted to say how proud of you i am son, always hiding in your room playing your video games, talking to your internet friends. your mom and i think that's swell and we just wanted to let you know we love you. pls no copy dadderino
twitch chat
imaqtpie
League of Legends
My family keeps making Amongus references
It seems like the more I (13 M) play Amongus, the more my family tries to embaras me. The other day, I overheard my dad (49 M) say that he needed to "complete tasks" while working at homeπ―π€¬ don't worry it gets worse. Then I hear my Mom (42 F) say that the amount of time I spend on my computer is "suspiscios." Ummm ok so (#1) ur too good to say "sus" and (#2) u dont even play amogus??? πππ. Even my moms work friend (28 M or somthing idk) came over yesterday to "look at her vents" I'm not even making this up πππ But then the worse partπ every sunday my granpa (69 M) comes over. He reminisces about his "Crewmates" from his Navy days and apparently a few of them died so u cry about it at dinner? Just start a new game FFS π but he's lying so uhhh we get it bro: u just want attention π―π
π€£
The problem is NONE of them even Play Omungus. How do i tell em that being a poser is a cringe Brie Larson unholesome Black History Month anti-chungus move?
and (#2) u dont even play amogus??? πππ. Even my moms work friend (28 M or somthing idk) came over yesterday to "look at her vents" I'm not even making this up πππ But then the worse partπ every sunday my granpa (69 M) comes over. He reminisces about his "Crewmates" from his Navy days and apparently a few of them died so u cry about it at dinner? Just start a new game FFS π but he's lying so uhhh we get it bro: u just want attention π―π
π€£
The problem is NONE of them even Play Omungus. How do i tell em that being a poser is a cringe Brie Larson unholesome Black History Month anti-chungus move?
Among Us / Amogus
Artosis the Great
twitchquotes:
Hello Kripparian! This is your lord and saviour, Artosis the Great! I have boarded my private jet to Greecerino to meet you and your lovely wiferino Rania. See you soon! Much loverino, please no dan marino gran torino
twitch chat
Kripp
I, a god-level CoD player, could join the military
Ok. Listen up bud. Youβre a kid, and youβre getting cocky. You snuck in a few good quick scopes and got a few points ahead of me, but you have no chance. I am a Call of Duty god. I would be killing terrorists in Iraq if it werenβt for the fact that I would punch the drill sergeant in the face if he even looked at me funny. So donβt get cocky, bud. Or just like my kill/death ratio, youβre going down, kid. As soon as I finish the campaign Iβm tracking your IP, hunting you down and beating the crap out of you. Youβve been warned.