[Copypasta] An exceedingly excellent "your mother" joke

Greetings. My name is Beef, and today I would like to present an exceedingly excellent "your mother" joke. I will now begin. Your biological mother is so morbidly obese, when she went to go get her yearly physical done, the doctor took her blood and the results concluded that she had a high blood pressure, onset type 2 diabetes, hypertension and the possibility of heart disease. She also suffers from severe depression, because she lacks confidence in her physical appearance, which enables her to consume even more food, making her more obese. Not to mention, but your mother is becoming so monstrous, she had a hard time fitting through small spaces and exceeding weight limits on practical applications. Your mother has an endless cycle of malicious eating habits that only make her health worsen over time. I hope whoever has just read this enjoyed the humorous "your mother" joke. Thank you for your time, and have a blessed day.
April 2022
What happened to this ad? :(
More Copypastas

Trolling My Office With Among Us (Part 2)

When I went into the office the next day everybody ignored me. So I walked up to a coworker and said "Hey, why are you ignoring me, you're a bit sussy!" He reached for the red phone and I was reminded it looked like the Among us character. So I said "When the phone is sus hahahahhah" and I did the Linus tech tips disappointed face. "Get it? Do you use reddit?" He was talking to management when I cut the phone cord and threw it across the office. I said "Red was the imposter! hahahah!" And I did the among us drip song. "Ding ding ding ding ding, ding ding ding!" He wasn't smiling and he punched me but I said "You're sus! You're the imposter I saw you vent!" He was angry and he tried to punch me again but I grabbed his fist and said "Omae wa mo shinderu." He tried to punch me again he is a loser! He didn't even get my anime reference. So I took off my pants and shoved them on my his head. "You just got pantsed! HAhahahah" and I did the pepe smile and ran out of the office. Who wants to talk to an IMPOSTER? Stupid bitch
March 2021

Among Us / Amogus

Trolling with Among Us

MIC VOLUME TOO LOW

twitchquotes: ๏ฝ—๏ฝˆ๏ฝ…๏ฝŽ ๏ฝ“๏ฝ•๏ฝ‚ ๏ฝ๏ฝ๏ฝ„๏ฝ… ๏ฝ๏ฝ†๏ฝ†๏ผŒ ๏ฝ‰ ๏ฝ๏ฝ๏ฝ๏ฝŒ๏ฝ™ ๏ฝƒ๏ฝ๏ฝŽ๏ฝƒ๏ฝ…๏ฝ’ ๏ฝ„๏ฝ‰๏ฝ’๏ฝ…๏ฝƒ๏ฝ”๏ฝŒ๏ฝ™ ๏ฝ”๏ฝ ๏ฝƒ๏ฝˆ๏ฝ๏ฝ”๏ผŽ ๏ฝ‰ ๏ฝ“๏ฝ”๏ฝ๏ฝ’๏ฝ… ๏ฝ๏ฝ” ๏ฝ”๏ฝˆ๏ฝ… ๏ฝƒ๏ฝˆ๏ฝ๏ฝ” ๏ฝ๏ฝŽ๏ฝ„ ๏ฝ“๏ฝ๏ฝ™ ๏ฝ”๏ฝˆ๏ฝ… ๏ผญ๏ผฉ๏ผฃ ๏ผถ๏ผฏ๏ผฌ๏ผต๏ผญ๏ผฅ ๏ผฉ๏ผณ ๏ผด๏ผฏ๏ผฏ ๏ผฌ๏ผฏ๏ผท ๏ฝ๏ฝŒ๏ฝŒ ๏ฝ๏ฝ๏ฝ‹๏ฝ‰๏ฝŽ๏ฝ‡ ๏ฝ’๏ฝ…๏ฝ™๏ฝŽ๏ฝ๏ฝ„
twitch chat
April 2014
Reynad

Artosis is glad Kripp is joining the way of the sellout

twitchquotes: ๏ผท๏ผฅ๏ผฌ๏ผฌ ๏ผญ๏ผฅ๏ผด ๏ผซ๏ผฒ๏ผฉ๏ผฐ๏ผฐ๏ผŒ ๏ผฉ๏ผด๏ผ‡๏ผณ ๏ผญ๏ผฅ ๏ผก๏ผฒ๏ผด๏ผฏ๏ผณ๏ผฉ๏ผณ๏ผŽ ๏ผฉ๏ผ‡๏ผญ ๏ผง๏ผฌ๏ผก๏ผค ๏ผน๏ผฏ๏ผต๏ผ‡๏ผฒ๏ผฅ ๏ผช๏ผฏ๏ผฉ๏ผฎ๏ผฉ๏ผฎ๏ผง ๏ผด๏ผจ๏ผฅ ๏ผท๏ผก๏ผน ๏ผฏ๏ผฆ ๏ผด๏ผจ๏ผฅ ๏ผณ๏ผฅ๏ผฌ๏ผฌ๏ผฏ๏ผต๏ผด๏ผŽ
twitch chat
September 2014
Kripp

Imposter broke into my house!

So yesterday I was eating with my family when all of a sudden a โ€œcrew mateโ€ broke in through the front door. He had a ski mask on and a gun which was sus, but he a good skin. My father told us all to hide so we donโ€™t get killed by the obvious imposter. I could see him from my hiding spot under the table and he looked sus. So I told my dad โ€œDAD YOU THINK HE IS THE IMPOSTER? HE IS SUS!โ€ I yelled as loud as I could. The imposter found us hiding and shot my father five times. The imposter was so dumb, who kills someone in front of crew mates? I ran to call the emergency meeting by grabbing my phone off the table when I heard my mother get shot and scream for me. Lol she was so bad at among us. My teammates sucked and were dying to the worst Imposter. So I called the emergency meeting and for some reason a S.W.A.T team rammed down the door and killed the imposter. Lol thatโ€™s not how the game goes, I think they were hacking.
April 2021

Among Us / Amogus

Troll face

โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–€โ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–€โ–„โ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–„โ–€โ–’โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–’โ–‘โ–ˆโ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–„โ–„โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–„โ–„โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘ โ–ˆโ–‘โ–’โ–ˆโ–’โ–„โ–‘โ–€โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–‘โ–ˆ โ–ˆโ–‘โ–’โ–ˆโ–‘โ–ˆโ–€โ–„โ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–„โ–’โ–ˆ โ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–€โ–„โ–‘โ–ˆโ–„โ–‘โ–ˆโ–€โ–„โ–„โ–‘โ–€โ–‘โ–€โ–€โ–‘โ–„โ–„โ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–„โ–€โ–ˆโ–„โ–„โ–‘โ–ˆโ–€โ–€โ–€โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–€โ–€โ–ˆโ–€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–ˆโ–„โ–„โ–„โ–ˆโ–„โ–„โ–ˆโ–„โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–€โ–„โ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–ˆโ–€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–€โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–ˆโ–„โ–ˆโ–„โ–ˆโ–„โ–ˆโ–„โ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–„โ–„โ–‘โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–’โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–€โ–„โ–„โ–‘โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘
November 2014

Classic

Text-to-Speech Playing