Greetings. My name is Beef, and today I would like to present an exceedingly excellent "your mother" joke. I will now begin.
Your biological mother is so morbidly obese, when she went to go get her yearly physical done, the doctor took her blood and the results concluded that she had a high blood pressure, onset type 2 diabetes, hypertension and the possibility of heart disease. She also suffers from severe depression, because she lacks confidence in her physical appearance, which enables her to consume even more food, making her more obese. Not to mention, but your mother is becoming so monstrous, she had a hard time fitting through small spaces and exceeding weight limits on practical applications. Your mother has an endless cycle of malicious eating habits that only make her health worsen over time.
I hope whoever has just read this enjoyed the humorous "your mother" joke. Thank you for your time, and have a blessed day.
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i was raised to serve my wife
Am I racist? (serious)
Hello r/blacklivesmatter. I have a question.
So before I explain what happened, lemme just say this. Iβm white (oppressor) and Iβm very bad because Iβm white. I recently was texting my friend (also oppressor) and was using some emojis to convey what I was saying. I generally use the default skin toned emojis which are a bright yellow color. One day though, my finger slipped and I accidentally used one of the darker skin toned π emoji. After realizing the horrible act of racism Iβd just committed, I immediately deleted the reply as it had been rooted in racism and thereβs no excuse for that. I then profusely apologized over Instagram messages to all of my accomplices, friends and acquaintances of color. A majority of them had responses that said that what happened was completely fine but I realized their opinion was probably white washed because of me (oppressor) and other white people (domestic terrorists/oppressors). So now I ask, am I racist because of this?
Wife attack AITA?
I (46M) was having lunch (lasagna) with my side chick (42F) on a lovely day (23Β°C) when all of a sudden my wife (44F) of 35 years barges in and starts attacking me (46M). Wtf (what the fuck) was she thinking I had been having sex with my side chick (42F) every other weekend it's not like I was doing this every day. She (44F) then starts attacking her (42F) and the wait staff (32M, 26M and 29M) have to intervene. Completely ruined my lunch. AITA?
Am I The Asshole?
Happy Thanksgiving emoji
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what I mean βΊοΈππ if you get 1οΈβ£ back ππ€¬π‘ then you and that slut π€€π€€π€€π«π«π« have to appropriate Native American culture together ππͺΆπ if you get 3οΈβ£ back ππ€ youβre going to get your turkey π¦ eaten πππππ tomorrow night π±π±π±π± if you get 5οΈβ£ back ππ you will be eating your cousinβs πΆπ» peach π pie π₯§ just like youβve always π―π―π―wanted ππ€€π₯΅ if you get 7οΈβ£ back πΆ youβll become π²π² a pilgrim π©π and be the villain π¦ΉββοΈ of American πΊπΈ history πππ πππ if you get all 1οΈβ£0οΈβ£ back π€―π±π€―π±π€―π±π€― youβll be feasting π€€π this thanksgiving ππ in more ways than one π«πππΌπ okay you sexy π sexy π gobbling turkey poos π¦π¦π¦ itβs time β° for me to go β‘οΈ atone π€£for the sins βοΈ πof my ancestorsππππ©πΌββ€οΈβπβπ¨πΌπ€°πΌπ€±πΌπ©βπ§π€ͺπ€ͺπ€ͺπ€ͺπ€ͺ
what I mean βΊοΈππ if you get 1οΈβ£ back ππ€¬π‘ then you and that slut π€€π€€π€€π«π«π« have to appropriate Native American culture together ππͺΆπ if you get 3οΈβ£ back ππ€ youβre going to get your turkey π¦ eaten πππππ tomorrow night π±π±π±π± if you get 5οΈβ£ back ππ you will be eating your cousinβs πΆπ» peach π pie π₯§ just like youβve always π―π―π―wanted ππ€€π₯΅ if you get 7οΈβ£ back πΆ youβll become π²π² a pilgrim π©π and be the villain π¦ΉββοΈ of American πΊπΈ history πππ πππ if you get all 1οΈβ£0οΈβ£ back π€―π±π€―π±π€―π±π€― youβll be feasting π€€π this thanksgiving ππ in more ways than one π«πππΌπ okay you sexy π sexy π gobbling turkey poos π¦π¦π¦ itβs time β° for me to go β‘οΈ atone π€£for the sins βοΈ πof my ancestorsππππ©πΌββ€οΈβπβπ¨πΌπ€°πΌπ€±πΌπ©βπ§π€ͺπ€ͺπ€ͺπ€ͺπ€ͺ