[Copypasta] An exceedingly excellent "your mother" joke

Greetings. My name is Beef, and today I would like to present an exceedingly excellent "your mother" joke. I will now begin. Your biological mother is so morbidly obese, when she went to go get her yearly physical done, the doctor took her blood and the results concluded that she had a high blood pressure, onset type 2 diabetes, hypertension and the possibility of heart disease. She also suffers from severe depression, because she lacks confidence in her physical appearance, which enables her to consume even more food, making her more obese. Not to mention, but your mother is becoming so monstrous, she had a hard time fitting through small spaces and exceeding weight limits on practical applications. Your mother has an endless cycle of malicious eating habits that only make her health worsen over time. I hope whoever has just read this enjoyed the humorous "your mother" joke. Thank you for your time, and have a blessed day.
April 2022
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas

Confused DrDisrespect

⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠿⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠛⠉⣉⣀⣀⣈⠉⠻⠿⣿⣿⡿⠿⠿⠿⠿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⠛⠁⣠⣤⣤⣤⣄⠈⠋⠁⠠⣾⡿⠛⠛⣿⣿⡄⠄⠄⠄⠠⣴⣶⣦⣤⡀⠙⢿ ⠃⢰⣿⠿⠛⠛⢿⣿⡇⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢀⣾⡿⠁⠄⠂⠂⠄⠘⠉⠙⠻⣿⣦⠈ ⣦⣤⣀⣀⠈⢠⣿⡿⠁⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢸⣿⡏⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠁⣠⣴⣾⣿⠏⢠ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⠄⠿⠟⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣠⣤⡄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢀⣈⠛⠋⠉⠄⢠⣾ ⣿⣿⣿⡏⠄⢰⣿⣶⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠙⠿⠃⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠿⣿⡇⠄⠄⠄⠄⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⠄⠄⡈⠉⠁⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣿ ⣿⣿⣷⠄⠄⢉⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠐⠦⡘⠿⠿⣿⡿⣧⣀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢀⣿ ⣿⣿⡟⠈⠄⠄⠄⠄⢰⣄⠄⠠⠄⠄⠄⢀⡌⠁⠄⠄⠄⣹⠟⡁⠄⠄⠄⠄⣸⣿ ⣿⣿⠇⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢸⣿⣿⣷⣦⡤⣾⣿⣷⢄⣀⣀⣠⣶⣿⠁⠄⠄⠄⢠⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣤⣶⠄⠄⠄⠄⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠻⢿⠿⢻⣿⣿⣿⣿⡍⠄⠄⠄⣴⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⠄⠄⠄⠄⠘⣿⣿⡟⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠉⠛⠻⣿⣿⠁⠄⠄⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣯⣉⣀⠄⠄⠄⠄⢿⣿⣆⣼⣿⠲⠲⠶⢦⣄⡀⠻⡏⠄⠄⠰⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡄⠠⠄⠄⠄⠻⢝⠿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣶⠟⢃⡄⠁⠄⠄⠸⣾⡿⣿⣿⣿ ⡿⠟⠛⠉⠁⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠈⠉⠁⠚⠋⠁⠄⠄⠄⠄⠒⠿⣿⣿⣿
May 2020
DrDisRespectLIVE

You can't be kicked from an Among Us game

Did you know that InnerSloth (the owner of Among Us) says that you can't actually be kicked from a game by the owner? Section 34 of their TOS states that any individual who purchases a copy of the game has a right to play the game, and cannot be prevented from playing games by any individual. If you've kicked from a game recently, or want to learn more, google "Among Us rule 34"
February 2021

Among Us / Amogus

Things are looking up for me (and down for you)

twitchquotes: I don’t need you. There are a whole lot of other streamers that deserve my time and support. As they say there are plenty of other fish in the sea. Fish without husbands too... you liar skank. I will no longer be dedicating 1/3 of my day to moderating your chat. Let the wildebeests roam... and if you need me, I’ll be in STPeach’s chat from now on. You may not know this but I actually do watch her streams after yours are over. And I’ve been a 6 month subscriber as well... I donated her $30 the other day and said her outfit looked cute - she said I’m a sweetheart. Things are looking up for me (and down for you). This is where I bid farewell to you, have fun being a liar bitchface.
twitch chat
May 2020

Simps

Brofist straight in your pepperonis

twitchquotes: Hᴇʏ Kʀɪᴘᴘ, I ᴡᴀs ᴊᴜsᴛ ɢʀᴏᴜɴᴅᴇᴅ ғᴏʀ ᴡᴀᴛᴄʜɪɴɢ ʏᴏᴜʀ sᴛʀᴇᴀᴍ. Mʏ ᴘᴀʀᴇɴᴛs sᴀᴡ ʏᴏᴜʀ "ʙʀᴏғɪsᴛ" ᴀɴᴅ ᴛʜᴏᴜɢʜᴛ ʏᴏᴜ ᴡᴇʀᴇ ᴛᴇᴀᴄʜɪɴɢ ᴍᴇ ᴛᴏ ʙᴇᴀᴛ ᴘᴇᴏᴘʟᴇ ᴜᴘ, ᴀɴᴅ ɴᴏᴡ I ᴄᴀɴ'ᴛ ᴡᴀᴛᴄʜ ᴛᴡɪᴛᴄʜ ᴀɴʏᴍᴏʀᴇ. Iғ I ᴇᴠᴇʀ sᴇᴇ ʏᴏᴜ ɪɴ ʀᴇᴀʟ ʟɪғᴇ, I'ʟʟ ɢɪᴠᴇ ʏᴏᴜ ᴀ ʙʀᴏғɪsᴛ sᴛʀᴀɪɢʜᴛ ɪɴ ʏᴏᴜʀ ᴘᴇᴘᴘᴇʀᴏɴɪs. Tʜᴀɴᴋs ғᴏʀ ʀᴜɪɴɪɴɢ ᴍʏ ʟɪғᴇ, ᴀssʜᴏʟᴇ.
twitch chat
November 2014
Kripp

Salt mines are now Greece's #1 export

twitchquotes: Hello Mr. Kripp, on behalf of the entire Greek country, I would like to thank you for single handedly restoring our economy with your endless supplies of salt. Salt mines are now Greece's #1 export. Most excellent, all hail Kripperino!
twitch chat
December 2014
Kripp
Text-to-Speech Playing