[Copypasta] An exceedingly excellent "your mother" joke

Greetings. My name is Beef, and today I would like to present an exceedingly excellent "your mother" joke. I will now begin. Your biological mother is so morbidly obese, when she went to go get her yearly physical done, the doctor took her blood and the results concluded that she had a high blood pressure, onset type 2 diabetes, hypertension and the possibility of heart disease. She also suffers from severe depression, because she lacks confidence in her physical appearance, which enables her to consume even more food, making her more obese. Not to mention, but your mother is becoming so monstrous, she had a hard time fitting through small spaces and exceeding weight limits on practical applications. Your mother has an endless cycle of malicious eating habits that only make her health worsen over time. I hope whoever has just read this enjoyed the humorous "your mother" joke. Thank you for your time, and have a blessed day.
April 2022
(โ–€ฬฟฤนฬฏโ”œโ”ฌโ”ดโ”ฌโ”ด Psst... kid, you wanna disable adblock?
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September 2021

Henry Stickmin

โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โข€โ ”โ ˆโ โ „โ ’โ ขโก€โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „ โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โฃ€โฃ€โฃ€โฃ€โฃ€โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „ โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โก โ –โ ‰โ โ „โ „โ „โ ˆโ ‰โ ’โขคโก€โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „ โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โข โ Žโ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โขธโฃ†โ „โ „โขปโก†โ ™โฃ†โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „ โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โข โก‡โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โฃฟโ „โ „โ „โฃทโ „โ ˜โก„โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „ โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โขธโ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โฃฟโ „โ „โ „โฃฟโ „โ „โก‡โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „ โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ ˜โก†โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โฃฟโ „โ „โขฐโกŸโ „โข โ ‡โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „ โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ ™โฃ„โ „โข€โ „โ „โ „โฃธโ ‡โ „โ „โกฟโ โข โ โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „ โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ ˆโ “โขคโฃ‰โ โ „โ „โ „โ „โฃ€โกคโ žโ โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „ โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โฃฝโ ‰โ ‰โ ‰โ ‰โ โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „ โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โกŒโกโ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „ โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โก˜โข โ โก†โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „ โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โขฐโ โขธโ „โก‡โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „ โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โก‡โ „โ ธโ „โขƒโ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „ โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ ‡โ „โ „โ „โขธโ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „ โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โขธโ „โ „โก†โ „โ ˆโก†โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „ โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โขธโ „โ „โก‡โ „โ „โขƒโ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „ โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โขธโ „โ „โก‡โ „โ „โ ˜โก€โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „ โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โขธโ „โ „โกŸโก„โ „โ „โขฃโ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „ โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ ธโ „โขฐโ โ ˆโ „โ „โ Œโ ‘โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „ โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โฃธโขฐโขŒโก˜โ „โ „โ ˜โ „โ šโขฟโก€โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „ โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ นโ ธโ „โ ‡โ „โ „โ „โ ˜โฃ„โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „ โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โขธโ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ ˜โก„โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „ โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โก‡โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โข‡โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „ โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โก˜โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โขธโ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „ โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โขฐโ โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ ˆโก†โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „ โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ †โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โขกโ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „ โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โฃผโฃคโฃคโฃ„โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ ˜โ ฟโ ฟโ ทโ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „ โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ ‰โ ›โ ›โ ‰โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „
August 2021

Angry Wojak / Soyjak comment

โ €โ €โ ˜โก€โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โกœโ €โ €โ € โ €โ €โ €โ ‘โก€โ €โ €โ €โ €โ € โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โก”โ โ €โ €โ € โ €โ €โ €โ €โ ˆโ ขโข„โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โฃ€โ ดโ Šโ €โ €โ €โ €โ € โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โขธโ €โ €โ €โข€โฃ€โฃ€โฃ€โฃ€โฃ€โก€โ คโ „โ ’โ ˆโ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ € โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ ˜โฃ€โ „โ Šโ โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ € โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โข€โก โ ”โ ’โ ’โ ’โ ’โ ’โ ขโ คโฃ€โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ € โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โกฐโ ‰โ โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ ˆโ ‘โข„โก€โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ € โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โกธโ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โก€โ €โ €โ €โ €โ ™โ „โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ € โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โข€โ โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ ƒโ €โข โ ‚โ €โ €โ ˜โก„โ €โ €โ €โ €โ € โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โขธโ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ ˆโขคโก€โข‚โ €โขจโ €โข€โก โ ˆโขฃโ €โ €โ €โ €โ € โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โข€โข€โก–โ ’โ ถโ คโ ญโขฝโฃŸโฃ—โ ฒโ –โ บโฃ–โฃดโฃ†โกคโ คโ คโ ผโก„โ €โ €โ €โ € โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ ˜โกˆโ ƒโ €โ €โ €โ ˜โฃบโกŸโขปโ ปโก†โ €โกโ €โกธโฃฟโขฟโขžโ „โก‡โ €โ €โ €โ € โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โขฃโก€โ คโก€โก€โก”โ ‰โฃโกฟโ ›โ “โ Šโ โ €โขŽโ ›โก—โก—โขณโกโ €โ €โ €โ € โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โขฑโ €โ จโก‡โ ƒโ €โขปโ โก”โขกโ ’โข€โ €โ €โก…โขนโฃฟโขจโ ‡โ €โ €โ €โ € โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โขธโ €โ  โขผโ €โ €โกŽโกœโ ’โข€โ ญโก–โกคโขญโฃฑโขธโข™โ †โ €โ €โ €โ €โ € โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โกธโ €โ €โ ธโขโก€โ ฟโ ˆโ ‚โฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโกโกโกโ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ € โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โข€โ ‡โ €โ €โ €โ €โ ธโขขโฃซโข€โ ˜โฃฟโฃฟโกฟโ โฃผโกโ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ € โ €โ €โ €โ €โฃ€โฃ โ Šโ €โฃ€โ Žโ โ €โ €โ €โ ™โ ณโขดโกฆโกดโขถโฃžโฃโฃ€โฃ€โก€โ €โ €โ €โ €โ € โ €โ โ ’โ ‰โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ  โ €โข€โ คโ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ ˆโ ‰โ €โ €โ €
March 2021

The year is 2025. Kripp lies on his deathbed

twitchquotes: The year is 2025. Kripp lies on his deathbed, the countless years of veganism finally having taken their toll. He struggles to adjust his eyes to the glare of his computer screen, yearning to view his beloved twitch chat one more time. All he sees is degenerate weeb spam. His eyes brim with tears. He begins gasping his final breath, and in his final moments he tells Rania "K"
twitch chat
June 2017
Kripp

Boomer anthem

twitchquotes: Please๐Ÿ˜ณ rise ๐Ÿ˜Ž for the ๐Ÿคจ national ๐Ÿ anthem ๐ŸŽถ of boomers ๐Ÿคช ๐ŸŽบ๐ŸŽบ๐ŸŽบ Video Games ๐ŸŽฎ cause violence ๐Ÿ˜ก๐Ÿ‘Š๐Ÿผ, Phone ๐Ÿ“ฑ bad ๐Ÿ‘Ž, book ๐Ÿ“š good ๐Ÿ‘ I hate ๐Ÿ˜’ my wife ๐Ÿ‘ฐ Pause โธ๏ธ the Fortnite ๐Ÿฅ‡ please ๐Ÿ˜ค Funny ๐Ÿคฃ Facebook ๐Ÿ˜œ minion ๐Ÿคญ memes ๐Ÿคช
twitch chat
November 2019

Emoji Pasta

Text-to-Speech Playing