[Copypasta] An exceedingly excellent "your mother" joke

Greetings. My name is Beef, and today I would like to present an exceedingly excellent "your mother" joke. I will now begin. Your biological mother is so morbidly obese, when she went to go get her yearly physical done, the doctor took her blood and the results concluded that she had a high blood pressure, onset type 2 diabetes, hypertension and the possibility of heart disease. She also suffers from severe depression, because she lacks confidence in her physical appearance, which enables her to consume even more food, making her more obese. Not to mention, but your mother is becoming so monstrous, she had a hard time fitting through small spaces and exceeding weight limits on practical applications. Your mother has an endless cycle of malicious eating habits that only make her health worsen over time. I hope whoever has just read this enjoyed the humorous "your mother" joke. Thank you for your time, and have a blessed day.
April 2022
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas

legs man or a breasts man

twitchquotes: One time I was asked if I was a legs man or a breasts man, I said I was into shaved pussy and anal and now I’m "banned from KFC" and "a possible sex offender"
twitch chat
November 2019

Spider

β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–’β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–β–Œβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘ ░░▐░░▓░░░░░░░░▓░░░░▄▄░░ β–‘β–‘β–β–Œβ–‘β–€β–Œβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–„β–‘β–‘β–„β–’β–€β–€β–‘β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–€β–’β–‘β–β–„β–‘β–„β–‘β–β–β–Œβ–‘β–“β–€β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–€β–„β–β–„β–„β–„β–„β–β–Œβ–“β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–€β–β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–“β–€β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–„β–„β–β–ˆβ–“β–“β–„β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–„β–€β–€β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–€β–€β–„β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–„β–€β–‘β–‘β–β–Œβ–β–ˆβ–Œβ–β–Œβ–‘β–‘β–€β–’β–„β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘ ░░░▐░░▐▀░░▀▀░▒░░░░▀░░░░ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–β–Œβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–’β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–„β–’β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–€β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘
November 2014

Trolling My Church with Among Us

So today at church the pastor was preaching about the crucifixion of Jesus and when he said that Judas would betray Jesus, I blurted out "JUDAS IS THE IMPOSTER! HE'S SUS!" and did a big wide grin (like the "when the imposter is sus" meme). The pastor then said "What are you talking about?" So I yelled "EMERGENCY MEETING! HE DOESN'T GET THE AMONG US REFERENCE!" and then I explained the joke. The pastor, not amused, told me to sit down. I sat back down but then later when he said that Jesus was accused of blasphemy and crucified I couldn't contain myself and I yelled out "JESUS WAS NOT THE IMPOSTER!" and when the pastor told me to stop disrupting I said "THE PASTOR IS SUS, HE DOESN'T GET IT" and I then told everyone to download Reddit for funny Among Us memes. That's when the pastor told me to leave for causing disruptions. I said "WAIT! I'M NOT SUS THOUGH! WHY ARE YOU EJECTING ME?" and then I said "WHEN THE PASTOR IS SUS!" And did the hilarious grin from the meme. After that I got kicked out but it was worth it because I just trolled them all with Among Us.
March 2021

Trolling with Among Us

Among Us / Amogus

Kripp and Arthus

twitchquotes: οΌ­ο½™ ο½“ο½ο½Ž ο½”ο½ˆο½… day you ο½—ο½…ο½’ο½… ο½‚ο½ο½’ο½ŽοΌŒ ο½”ο½ˆο½… ο½–ο½…ο½’ο½™ websites of ο½‰ο½Žο½”ο½…ο½’ο½Žο½…ο½” ο½—ο½ˆο½‰ο½“ο½ο½…ο½’ο½…ο½„ ο½”ο½ˆο½… ο½Žο½ο½ο½…οΌš οΌ«ο½’ο½‰ο½ο½ο½ο½’ο½‰ο½ο½ŽοΌŽοΌ­ο½™ ο½ƒο½ˆο½‰ο½Œο½„οΌŒ οΌ© ο½—ο½ο½”ο½ƒο½ˆο½…ο½„ ο½—ο½‰ο½”ο½ˆ pride as you grew ο½‰ο½Žο½”ο½ a gamer of ο½ˆο½ο½’ο½„ο½ƒο½ο½’ο½…ο½Žο½…ο½“ο½“οΌŽοΌ²ο½…ο½ο½…ο½ο½‚ο½…ο½’οΌŒ our ο½†ο½ο½ο½‰ο½Œο½™ ο½ο½Œο½—ο½ο½™ο½“ ο½ο½Œο½ο½™ο½…ο½„ ο½ˆο½ο½’ο½„ο½ƒο½ο½’ο½… ο½—ο½‰ο½”ο½ˆ ο½†ο½’ο½‰ο½…ο½Žο½„ο½“ ο½ο½Žο½„ οΌ© ο½‹ο½Žο½ο½— you ο½—ο½‰ο½Œο½Œ ο½Žο½…ο½–ο½…ο½’ ο½ο½Œο½ο½™ ο½ƒο½ο½“ο½•ο½ο½Œ scrubcore ο½“ο½ˆο½‰ο½”οΌŒ but ο½”ο½ˆο½… truest ο½ˆο½ο½’ο½„ο½ƒο½ο½’ο½…ο½Žο½…ο½“ο½“ is my ο½“ο½ο½Ž is ο½”ο½ˆο½… ο½…ο½Žο½”ο½…ο½’ο½”ο½ο½‰ο½Žο½‰ο½Žο½‡ your ο½–ο½‰ο½…ο½—ο½…ο½’ο½“οΌŽ οΌ© ο½”ο½…ο½Œο½Œ you ο½”ο½ˆο½‰ο½“ for ο½—ο½ˆο½…ο½Ž my days come to an ο½…ο½Žο½„ you ο½“ο½ˆο½ο½Œο½Œ ο½Žο½ο½” be ο½ƒο½ο½“ο½•ο½ο½ŒοΌŽ
twitch chat
April 2014
Kripp

John Cena eats Bing Chilling

Zǎoshang hǎo zhōngguΓ³ xiΓ nzΓ i wΗ’ yΗ’u BING CHILLING πŸ₯ΆπŸ¦ wΗ’ hΔ›n xǐhuān BING CHILLING πŸ₯ΆπŸ¦ dΓ nshΓ¬ sΓΉdΓΉ yΗ” jΔ«qΓ­ng 9 bǐ BING CHILLING πŸ₯ΆπŸ¦ sΓΉdΓΉ yΗ” jΔ«qΓ­ng sΓΉdΓΉ yΗ” jΔ«qΓ­ng 9 wΗ’ zuΓ¬ xǐhuān suΗ’yǐ…xiΓ nzΓ i shΓ¬ yΔ«nyuΓ¨ shΓ­jiān zhΗ”nbΓ¨i 1 2 3 liǎng gΓ¨ lǐbΓ i yǐhΓ²u sΓΉdΓΉ yΗ” jΔ«qΓ­ng 9 Γ—3 bΓΉyΓ o wΓ ngjΓ¬ bΓΉyΓ o cu Γ²guΓ² jΓ¬dΓ© qΓΉ diΓ nyǐngyuΓ n kΓ n sΓΉdΓΉ yΗ” jΔ«qΓ­ng 9 yΔ«n wΓ©i fΔ“ichΓ‘ng hǎo diΓ nyǐng dΓ²ngzuΓ² fΔ“ichΓ‘ng hǎo chΓ bΓΉduō yΔ«yΓ ng BING CHILLING πŸ₯ΆπŸ¦zΓ ijiΓ n πŸ₯ΆπŸ¦
November 2021
Text-to-Speech Playing