[Copypasta] An exceedingly excellent "your mother" joke

Greetings. My name is Beef, and today I would like to present an exceedingly excellent "your mother" joke. I will now begin. Your biological mother is so morbidly obese, when she went to go get her yearly physical done, the doctor took her blood and the results concluded that she had a high blood pressure, onset type 2 diabetes, hypertension and the possibility of heart disease. She also suffers from severe depression, because she lacks confidence in her physical appearance, which enables her to consume even more food, making her more obese. Not to mention, but your mother is becoming so monstrous, she had a hard time fitting through small spaces and exceeding weight limits on practical applications. Your mother has an endless cycle of malicious eating habits that only make her health worsen over time. I hope whoever has just read this enjoyed the humorous "your mother" joke. Thank you for your time, and have a blessed day.
April 2022
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas

This is Bob Ross communicating from beyond the grave

twitchquotes: CoolStoryBob Hi, this is Bob Ross communicating from beyond the grave. I dedicated my life to painting so that you brats could do something more productive with your lives than sitting on your *** playing your stupid Atari games all day. I don't appreciate you morons abusing my legacy and turning me into some childish meme that you can spam on your little MSM chat thing. Now go paint a mountain or something and don't you dare copypaste this. CoolStoryBob
twitch chat
October 2016
Bob Ross

Classic

Ok, so I main Mercy

twitchquotes: Ok, so I main Mercy all I see is a bunch of posts and comments basically talking shit about Mercy mains. But let me tell you something, you need us. Honestly, do you think it's easy playing Mercy or something? Every time I hear "I need healing" it feels like a synapse in my brain just snapped. Like do you think I'm fucking blind or something? Do you not think I can see the big red target saying "CRITICAL"?? and you guys have the audacity to talk down on us Mercy mains.
twitch chat
June 2017

Overwatch

Danksteed of Infinite Value

twitchquotes: ๐ŸŽ If you see this horse while scrolling the chat you have been visited by the danksteed of infinite value. Good trades and prosperity will come to you but only if you copy pasterino this in chat ๐ŸŽ
twitch chat
September 2015

Hearthstone

forsenCD PICK A CARD

twitchquotes: forsenCD PICK A CARD โœจ forsenCD ANY CARD โœจ forsenCD THE 2 OF WIVES? โœจ forsenCD EXCELLENT CHOICE โœจ
twitch chat
November 2019
OfflineTV

Anime girl 3

โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–โ–„โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–Œโ–Œโ–’โ–’โ–Œโ–‘โ–Œโ–’โ–โ–โ–โ–’โ–’โ–โ–’โ–’โ–Œโ–’โ–€โ–„โ–€โ–„โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–โ–’โ–’โ–€โ–€โ–Œโ–‘โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–€โ–„โ–Œโ–Œโ–โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–Œโ–โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–โ–’โ–’โ–€โ–€โ–„โ–โ–‘โ–€โ–€โ–„โ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–โ–’โ–Œโ–’โ–’โ–โ–‘โ–Œ โ–‘โ–‘โ–โ–’โ–Œโ–’โ–’โ–’โ–Œโ–‘โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–ˆโ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–โ–โ–„โ–„โ–€โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–Œโ–โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–ˆโ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–Œโ–Œโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–„โ–€โ–’โ–’โ–Œโ–’โ–’โ–โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–Œโ–Œโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–„โ–„โ–€โ–’โ–โ–’โ–’โ–โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–„โ–„โ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–Œโ–Œโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–Œโ–’โ–’โ–Œโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–Œโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–โ–โ–’โ–€โ–€โ–„ โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–€โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–ˆโ–„โ–’โ–โ–’โ–’โ–’ โ–„โ–€โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–„โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–€โ–„โ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–„โ–„โ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–„โ–€โ–ˆโ–„โ–‘โ–ˆโ–€โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’
ascii art
January 2017

Weebs

More Copypastas
Text-to-Speech Playing