[Copypasta] An exceedingly excellent "your mother" joke

Greetings. My name is Beef, and today I would like to present an exceedingly excellent "your mother" joke. I will now begin. Your biological mother is so morbidly obese, when she went to go get her yearly physical done, the doctor took her blood and the results concluded that she had a high blood pressure, onset type 2 diabetes, hypertension and the possibility of heart disease. She also suffers from severe depression, because she lacks confidence in her physical appearance, which enables her to consume even more food, making her more obese. Not to mention, but your mother is becoming so monstrous, she had a hard time fitting through small spaces and exceeding weight limits on practical applications. Your mother has an endless cycle of malicious eating habits that only make her health worsen over time. I hope whoever has just read this enjoyed the humorous "your mother" joke. Thank you for your time, and have a blessed day.
April 2022
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Undertale Sans

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March 2016

Art of Conquest is my favorite game!

twitchquotes: Art of Conquest is my favorite game! (Thanks for agreeing to post some positive feedback about our game. Just post this in Kripp's Twitch chat as often as possible. Make sure to remove this message before you post it. Thanks! -Art of Conquest Team)
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June 2017
Kripp

sellout

OMEGALUL

β£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ Ώβ’Ώβ£Ώβ ›β ƒβ „β „β ˆβ ‰β ›β’Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώ β£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ’Ώβ£»β£―β ­β €β ¬β£‰β£‰β£›β£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Άβ£€β£€β „β ˆβ Ώβ’Ώβ£Ώ β£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ Ώβ ™β’ˆβ‘©β €β Άβ Άβ Άβ ¦β €β €β£‰β‘‰β ›β’―β‘™β »β£Ώβ£·β£†β „β „β’Ή β£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ ›β β „β Šβ β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β ˆβ ’β’„β‘ˆβ’’β£ˆβ »β£Ώβ‘†β „β’  β£Ώβ‘Ώβ β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β ™β’„β »β£¦β£˜β£·β „β’Έ β£Ώβ β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β ±β‘ˆβ’Ώβ£Ώβ „β ˜ β‘‡β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β’β Έβ‘Ÿβ „β’  β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β ‡β „β£Έ β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β£ β£Ώ ⑇⣿⑄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠼⠄⣿⣿ ⑇⣿⣿⣄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄①⠂⠄⣼⣿⣿ β£Ώβ‘™β’Ώβ£Ώβ£·β£„β‘€β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β’€β£€β žβ β’€β£Όβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώ ⣿⣷⣀⣙⣿⣿⣿⣢⣀⣄⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣴⠾⠛⠁⒀⣠⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿ β£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ÿβ ‹β’‰β£β£€β£΄β£Ύβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώ
November 2018

You didn't ask? (response to Who Asked?)

You didn't ask? That's amazing, are you a dictator? A god? The most important person in the world? No? Then why would you say that like it matters? "I come out as a homosexual, this is really hard for me and I hope you respect that." "Did I ask?" no, you did not ask, we couldn't care less if you asked, you are nothing compared to the universe. Do you think your opinion holds a higher meaning than anyone else's? You could've said anything, something creative, even an ok or you not saying a word would be better than the phrase "Did I ask?" we get it, you never asked, but did anyone ask about you asking? Even if you said that you traveled the world to find out who asked, who asked you to do that? You didn't ask for their opinion, but nobody asked if you care at all. You aren't creative or smart. Even a caveman grunts and ooga boogas would be better than that phrase. Now stop pretending to be a god and go back to school to learn how to respect people
November 2021

Who Asked?

My name is Gabe Newell from the Microsoft team

twitchquotes: Good Evening, my name is Gabe Newell from the Microsoft team, and from analyzing your browser history we are here to inform you that your Windows XP Operating system is not valid. Your OS will be locked in 15 minutes until you have paid for the Microsoft product. If you have any questions or concerns please don't hesitate to call us!
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Forsen
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