[Copypasta] Vaporeon but uwu

Hey g-guys, did you knyow that in tewms of mawe *whispers to self* human and femawe Pokémon bweeding, Vapoweon is t-t-the most compatibwe Pokémon fow humans?!?1 N-Nyot only awe they in t-t-the fiewd egg group, which is mostly compwised of mammaws, Vapoweon awe an avewage of 3”03’ taww and 63.9 pounds, this means t-they’we large enyough t-to be abwe handwe human dicks, and with theiw impwessive Base Stats fow H-HP and access t-to Acid Armor, you c-can be rough with onye. Due t-to theiw mostly watew based biology, thewe’s no doubt in my mind that an awoused Vapoweon w-wouwd be i-incwedibwy wet, so wet that you could easiwy have sex with o-one fow houws without getting sowe. They c-can also learn t-t-the moves Attract, Baby-Doww Eyes, Captivate, Charm, and Tail Whip, along with nyot having fuw t-to hide nyippwes, so it’d be i-incwedibwy easy fow o-one t-to get you in t-t-the mood. W-With theiw abilities Water A-Absowb and Hydwation, they c-can easiwy wecuvw fwom fatigue with enyough watew. Nyo othew Pokémon comes cwose t-to this wevew of c-c-compatibiwity. Awso, f-fun fact, if you p-p-puww out enough, you c-can make youw Vapoweon turn white. Vapoweon is witewawwy buiwt fow human d**k. Ungodwy d-d-defense stat+high H-HP poow+Acid Armor means i-it c-can take cock all day, x3 all s-s-shapes and sizes and stiww come fow mowe
April 2022

Pokemon

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Mew

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January 2022

Pokemon

Vaporeon

Hey guys, did you know that in terms of male human and female Pokémon breeding, Vaporeon is the most compatible Pokémon for humans? Not only are they in the field egg group, which is mostly comprised of mammals, Vaporeon are an average of 3”03’ tall and 63.9 pounds, this means they’re large enough to be able handle human dicks, and with their impressive Base Stats for HP and access to Acid Armor, you can be rough with one. Due to their mostly water based biology, there’s no doubt in my mind that an aroused Vaporeon would be incredibly wet, so wet that you could easily have sex with one for hours without getting sore. They can also learn the moves Attract, Baby-Doll Eyes, Captivate, Charm, and Tail Whip, along with not having fur to hide nipples, so it’d be incredibly easy for one to get you in the mood. With their abilities Water Absorb and Hydration, they can easily recover from fatigue with enough water. No other Pokémon comes close to this level of compatibility. Also, fun fact, if you pull out enough, you can make your Vaporeon turn white. Vaporeon is literally built for human dick. Ungodly defense stat+high HP pool+Acid Armor means it can take cock all day, all shapes and sizes and still come for more
November 2020

Pokemon

Mimikyu

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November 2020

Pokemon

Response to the Vaporeon copypasta (Vaporeons are dangerous)

Hey guys did you know that in terms of water Pokemon inland, Vaporeon would be very capable of hunting grown humans? Their bodies being the size of a medium dog and weight are just enough to pounce on a man and throw him to the ground. Their bulky stats would allow them to shrug off and outlast any attempts by the human to fight them off, and that's not getting even into moves like Hydro Pump and Scald. But that's not all these water dogs have up their sleeves. Their bodies being so similar to water not only lets them hide in bodies of water and become nearly invisible to catch prey off guard, but allows them to enter the body through almost any orifice. Things do not get any better once a Vaporeon is inside of you. If asphyxiation doesn't kill you, the internal bleeding and displacement of internal organs certainly will. In addition, they are able to learn Charm, allowing them to take advantage of certain... desires humans may have and create even more opportunities to go in for the kill. But wait, there's more. Since Vaporeon is an omnivore, its cells would need to be able to digest proteins, such as those in meat. This only opens even more possibilities as to what these creatures are capable of.
March 2022

Pokemon

Flareon is better than Vaporeon for human companionship

Hey guys, did you know that in terms of human companionship, Flareon is objectively the most huggable Pokemon? While their maximum temperature is likely too much for most, they are capable of controlling it, so they can set themselves to the perfect temperature for you. Along with that, they have a lot of fluff, making them undeniably incredibly soft to touch. But that's not all, they have a very respectable special defense stat of 110, which means that they are likely very calm and resistant to emotional damage. Because of this, if you have a bad day, you can vent to it while hugging it, and it won't mind. It can make itself even more endearing with moves like Charm and Baby Doll Eyes, ensuring that you never have a prolonged bout of depression ever again.
March 2022

Pokemon

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