[Copypasta] Response to the Vaporeon copypasta (Vaporeons are dangerous)

Hey guys did you know that in terms of water Pokemon inland, Vaporeon would be very capable of hunting grown humans? Their bodies being the size of a medium dog and weight are just enough to pounce on a man and throw him to the ground. Their bulky stats would allow them to shrug off and outlast any attempts by the human to fight them off, and that's not getting even into moves like Hydro Pump and Scald. But that's not all these water dogs have up their sleeves. Their bodies being so similar to water not only lets them hide in bodies of water and become nearly invisible to catch prey off guard, but allows them to enter the body through almost any orifice. Things do not get any better once a Vaporeon is inside of you. If asphyxiation doesn't kill you, the internal bleeding and displacement of internal organs certainly will. In addition, they are able to learn Charm, allowing them to take advantage of certain... desires humans may have and create even more opportunities to go in for the kill. But wait, there's more. Since Vaporeon is an omnivore, its cells would need to be able to digest proteins, such as those in meat. This only opens even more possibilities as to what these creatures are capable of.
March 2022

Pokemon

What happened to this ad? :(
More Pokemon Copypastas

Lapras

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April 2017

Pokemon

Pikachu

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November 2014

Pokemon

Pikachu eyes

♂♀♂♀♂♀♂♀▀████▀▄▄♂♀♂♀♂♀♂♀♂♀♂♀♂♀▄█ ♀♂♀♂♀♂♀♂♀♂█▀░░░░▀▀▄▄▄▄▄♂♀♂♀▄▄▀▀█ ♂♀♂▄♂♀♂♀♂♀♂█░░░░░░░░░░░▀▀▀▀▄░░▄▀ ♀▄▀░▀▄♀♂♀♂♀♂▀▄░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░▀▄▀ ▄▀░░░░█♀♂♀♂♀♂█▀░░░▄█▀▄░░░░░░▄█ ▀▄░░░░░▀▄♂♀♂█░░░░░ 👁️ ░░░░░ 👁️ █ ♂♀▀▄░░░░▄▀♂█░░░▄██▄░░░▄░░▄░░▀▀░█ ♀♂♀█░░▄▀♀♂█░░░░▀██▀░░░░▀▀░▀▀░░▄▀ ♂♀█░░░█♀♂█░░░░░░▄▄░░░░░░░░░░░▄
September 2018

Pokemon

Lapras

⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢟⣽⣶⣶⣶⣾⣟⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣳⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣻⣿⣿⢿⣫⣽⣶⣶⣾⣭⣻⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⢿⣭⡻⡇⣿⣿⠿⣟⣻⣯⣭⣭⣭⣥⡟⣳⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡻⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⡞⣿⣿⣾⣭⢾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢳⣿⣿⣿⢿⣻⣟⡻⣿⣿⣿⣿⢻ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⢹⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣼⣿⣿⢳⣿⣿⣿⣿⢸⣿⣿⣿⢹ ⣿⣿⡿⣻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣯⣿ ⣿⣟⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣻⣷⣿⣿⠿⡿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣿⣻⡿⢿⣟⣫⣿⣿⣿ ⡟⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⢟⣯⡆⠄⠻⠃⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣿⣭⣥⣭⣦⣴⣿⡿⣿⣿⣿⡟⠻⡿⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⡿⣿⣯⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⢿⣛⣽⣾⣿⣿⣿⡇⢀⢳⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣶⣿⣿⣽⣳⢾⣿⣿⣿⣷⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧⣮⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣿⣭⣽⣿⣯⣭⣿⣾⣿⣿⠁⣿⡟⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣹⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣯⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
November 2018

Pokemon

Flareon is better than Vaporeon for human companionship

Hey guys, did you know that in terms of human companionship, Flareon is objectively the most huggable Pokemon? While their maximum temperature is likely too much for most, they are capable of controlling it, so they can set themselves to the perfect temperature for you. Along with that, they have a lot of fluff, making them undeniably incredibly soft to touch. But that's not all, they have a very respectable special defense stat of 110, which means that they are likely very calm and resistant to emotional damage. Because of this, if you have a bad day, you can vent to it while hugging it, and it won't mind. It can make itself even more endearing with moves like Charm and Baby Doll Eyes, ensuring that you never have a prolonged bout of depression ever again.
March 2022

Pokemon

Text-to-Speech Playing