[Copypasta] I love ketchup so much

I enjoy ketchup more than the average person. Made with tomatoes and vinegar, this ubiquitous red sauce is my condiment of choice for a wide variety of dining situations. Sweet and tangy, it's perfect for eating with french fries and burgers, of course, but you might not realize how good it is incorporated into other dishes. Its unique sweet and savory nature makes it a bit of a dynamo that way. No wonder this addictive table staple of households and restaurants is so beloved.
April 2022
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas

Based

"Based"? Are you fucking kidding me? I spent a decent portion of my life writing all of that and your response to me is "Based"? Are you so mentally handicapped that the only word you can comprehend is "Based" - or are you just some fucking asshole who thinks that with such a short response, he can make a statement about how meaningless what was written was? Well, I'll have you know that what I wrote was NOT meaningless, in fact, I even had my written work proof-read by several professors of literature. Don't believe me? I doubt you would, and your response to this will probably be "Based" once again. Do I give a fuck? No, does it look like I give even the slightest fuck about five fucking letters? I bet you took the time to type those five letters too, I bet you sat there and chuckled to yourself for 20 hearty seconds before pressing "send". You're so fucking pathetic. I'm honestly considering directing you to a psychiatrist, but I'm simply far too nice to do something like that. You, however, will go out of your way to make a fool out of someone by responding to a well-thought-out, intelligent, or humorous statement that probably took longer to write than you can last in bed with a chimpanzee. What do I have to say to you? Absolutely nothing. I couldn't be bothered to respond to such a worthless attempt at a response. Do you want "Based" on your gravestone?
March 2021

A card game that requires an intense amount of skill

twitchquotes: Nice job kripp! You won at a card game that requires an intense amount of skill. I pray that my sons will be like you and win card games with the amount of skill that you win with! If not I'll sacrifice them to RNGesus and pray that they are decent and competent enough to be as incredible as you!
twitch chat
February 2015
Kripp

Hearthstone

Today I attempted to insert a whole cantaloupe melon

twitchquotes: Today I attempted to insert a whole cantaloupe melon into my anus because the local shops had run out of apricots (I buy a lot). Using about a gallon of butter, breathing techniques and a few hours I managed to finally get it inside. However it was too uncomfortable so I tried to shit it back out.This is where things got confusing because rather than a melon sliding out half a dozen apricots did. Now there is a chance that I just blacked out upon excreting the cantaloupe and it rolled away somewhere and that I happened to have a dozen or so left over apricots lying around my rectum from earlier but I cannot for the life of me find the melon anywhere.I think I may have the power to anally turn melons into apricots. Further experimentation will be required of course (once my rectum has recovered) but if this turns out to be true then I may be able to solve world hunger.
twitch chat
April 2019

xqcL

⠀⠀⠀⣠⣴⣾⣿⣿⣿⣶⣄⣀⣀⣤⣶⣶⣦⣤⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⣴⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⡀⠀⠀⠀ ⢀⣼⣿⡟⠉⠉⠉⠉⠉⠛⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠟⠛⠳⠂⠀⠀ ⣿⣿⣿⠟⠉⠉⠛⠛⠓⠀⠉⠻⣿⣿⣿⡿⢀⡄⠲⠶⢶⣶⠀ ⣿⣿⣷⣤⣤⣄⣀⣀⡘⠁⠀⣠⣿⣿⣯⡀⢹⡀⢀⣀⣠⡽⠀ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⠁⠀⠀ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣴⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡆⠀⠀ ⣿⣿⣿⣍⡉⠉⠉⠉⠙⠛⠛⠾⠿⠿⠿⠿⠿⠿⣿⣿⣿⠀⠀ ⠛⠉⠉⠉⠛⠓⠲⢶⣶⣶⣶⣶⣦⣤⣤⣤⣤⣤⣤⡶⠁⠀⠀ ⣴⣾⣿⣿⣿⣷⣦⣄⡈⠙⢿⠿⠛⠋⠉⠉⠉⠙⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣤⠀⠀⣴⣾⣿⣿⣿⣶⣦⡀⠀⠀⠀ ⡿⠿⠿⠿⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧⣀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⠀⠀⠀ ⣀⣴⣶⣦⡄⠉⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⠉⣉⡉⠙⢻⣿⣿⡟⠀⠀⠀ ⣿⣿⡿⠛⢁⣤⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⠈⣿⣿⣧⠀⠙⣿⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀
December 2020
xQcOW

Where was the Paw Patrol during the Iran Hostage Crisis?

As far as we know the PAW Patrol has the capabilities of international travel and possible covert operation capabilities. However, the PAW Patrol failed to assist in any way during the Iran Hostage Crisis of 1979, which is unacceptable seeing as the US diplomats were hostages from November 4, 1979, to January 20, 1981. Could it be that the PAW Patrol is run by Islamic extremist that utilize PAW Patrol to increase positive images of the extremist, while also taking money from the UN? Or that the PAW Patrol is US run, and was told by the CIA to not intervene with the hostage crisis? If it is the former, why so? Could the Iran Hostage Crisis be a hoax, used to crack down on Iran for bringing down the monarchy that was ruling Iran, made possible by a coup from the US and UK?
March 2021
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