[Copypasta] I love ketchup so much

I enjoy ketchup more than the average person. Made with tomatoes and vinegar, this ubiquitous red sauce is my condiment of choice for a wide variety of dining situations. Sweet and tangy, it's perfect for eating with french fries and burgers, of course, but you might not realize how good it is incorporated into other dishes. Its unique sweet and savory nature makes it a bit of a dynamo that way. No wonder this addictive table staple of households and restaurants is so beloved.
April 2022
(▀̿Ĺ̯├┬┴┬┴ Psst... kid, you wanna disable adblock?
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Hurr Durr Durr Pizza

twitchquotes: ᕕOpieOPᕗ Ｈｅｌｌｏ Ｋｒｉｐｐ， Ｃｙｂｒｉｘ ｈｅｒｅ． Ｊｕｓｔ ｗａｎｔｅｄ ｔｏ ｓａｙ： ♩♬～♪ ＨＵＲＲ ＤＵＲＲ ＰＩＺＺＡ ♩♬～♪ ． ♩♬～♪ ＨＵＲＲ ＤＵＲＲ ＰＩＺＺＡ ♩♬～♪ ． ♩♬～♪ ＨＵＲＲ ＤＵＲＲ ＰＩＺＺＡ ♩♬～♪ ． ♩♬～♪ ＨＵＲＲ ＤＵＲＲ ＰＩＺＺＡ ♩♬～♪ ． ♩♬～♪ＨＵＲＲ ＤＵＲＲ ＰＩＺＺＡ ♩♬～♪ ． ♩♬～♪ ＨＵＲＲ ＤＵＲＲ ＰＩＺＺＡ ᕕOpieOPᕗ
twitch chat
June 2014
Kripp

I microwaved my jizz again.

Help me gumpy I fucked up. I was jerking off to my Sylveon plushie and decided to put it in the microwave but I left it in too long and burned the jizz and the plushie. Now the whole house fucking stinks and when my parents come home tomorrow from vacation they are going to know I microwaved my jizz again. Last time this happened I had to go to counseling and I gained like 50 lbs. I really don't want to go back on medicine. How the fuck do I get rid of the smell it is in the carpets and sofa. It smells like burned hair and plastic.
June 2021

There's no reason to have a Dad Bod when push ups exist

There's no reason to have a Dad Bod when push ups exist. I'm always finding time to crank out a few p-ups. Ahh yep, I do maybe a thousand p-ups a day and I'm a father of two. Those nerds coloring with crayons? Time to squeeze in a few p-ups. Little dorks eating mac and cheese? It's p-up time. I'm like a leathered marble statue of a really muscular guy, my muscles are so tight and rugged. Hell, I took a p-up break while typing this comment. The ladies at work, these little work ladies, love when I crank out p-ups right there in front of them and come up off the floor red faced and with a sizeable bulge in my slacks. That bulge is unrelated to the p-ups, by the way, I'm just a guy who's always one hard nipple poking through a shirt away from a full meat platter. Hell, I'd cheat on my wife with one of these little work ladies if she wasn't one of the little work ladies I work with. We bone in the bathroom. I get jacked on p-ups and then we bone in the bathroom and there's nothing my boss can do about it because my vascularity is way too intimidating. I tell him he should do some p-ups if he wants to fuck my wife. It's the only way she gets that slizz juiced and loosed. She wants to see multitudinous p-ups and she wants to see those p-ups now! Whoops! Haha, okay, looks like she's watching me type this over my shoulder. Uh oh. See ya later, nerdbags. I'm gonna p-ups myself up to a full plumper and pump that honey ham rump of my little work lady wife.
April 2021

Changing their username color so people don't notice

twitchquotes: There's 18,000 people watching stream right now, but there's literally the same 5 people posting the same *** constantly. All they do is change their username color so people don't notice. Such a shitty chat.
twitch chat
November 2014
Kripp

Mitochondrion is a double membrane-bound organelle

twitchquotes: The mitochondrion (plural mitochondria) is a double membrane-bound organelle found in all eukaryotic organisms. Some cells in some multicellular organisms may however lack them (for example, mature mammalian red blood cells). A number of unicellular organisms, such as microsporidia, parabasalids, and diplomonads, have also reduced or transformed their mitochondria into other structures. To date, only one eukaryote, Monocercomonoides, is known to have completely lost its mitochondria.
twitch chat
July 2017
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