So me and my bros wanted to once and for all test the hypothesis that we are all living in a matrix. We came to the conclusion that a matrix could only run so smoothly because of our predictable behaviour. For example, if you eat it is likely that you swallow your food. Therefore, the matrix would be ready to initiate a digestion program. But if a group of people did something unpredictable, the matrix would shut down.
So what we did is we randomly started gang banging each other. The matrix could have never predicted that because that is like super gay. But nothing happened (matrix-wise).
But this is not point why am I writing about this. My friends now want to do the gang-banging shit again and I am not sure how to respond to that.
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas
Did you hear about the Italian chef who died?
twitchquotes:
Did you hear about the Italian chef who died? He pasta way. He just ran out of thyme. Here today, gone tomato. His wife is still upset, cheese still not over it. We never sausage a tragedy coming. Ashes to ashes, crust to crust. There’s just not mushroom for Italian chefs in today’s world. Want to know what the rough parts of Italy are called? The spaghetto. Don’t call yourself Italian if you weren’t baptized in marinara sauce. You are literally too stupid to insult.
twitch chat
Robinhood halts trading on President's Day
This is bullshit. I’m disgusted and I’m honestly on the verge of having a mental fucking breakdown. Robinhood has once again halted trading. But this time it’s halted on all stocks. This fine Monday morning I wake up to find that all orders aren’t going to be filled till tomorrow morning. My dad’s wife’s girlfriend is a powerful lawyer in Boca Raton and I’m seriously considering retaining her services and filing a class action lawsuit against these citadel dick munchers. This has happened to me too many times. I’m low key spiraling into madness. Donate to me on onlyfans if you want to contribute towards the legal fees. She’s giving me a pretty kickass discount, but she estimates it’s still going to cost $150k. This happens to be the amount I lost on gme, but this is not relevant to the conversation here. It’s time to rise up and take down robinhood once and for all.
Also, yeah my stepmom has a girlfriend. It’s 2021 you bigots.
WallStreetBets
the earth is actually a dome
the reality is that the truth is probably somewhere in the middle. just like the flat earth debate, the truth is in the middle. the earth is not round nor purely flat; it is a dome
My family keeps making Amongus references
It seems like the more I (13 M) play Amongus, the more my family tries to embaras me. The other day, I overheard my dad (49 M) say that he needed to "complete tasks" while working at home😯🤬 don't worry it gets worse. Then I hear my Mom (42 F) say that the amount of time I spend on my computer is "suspiscios." Ummm ok so (#1) ur too good to say "sus" 
and (#2) u dont even play amogus??? 😂😂😂. Even my moms work friend (28 M or somthing idk) came over yesterday to "look at her vents" I'm not even making this up 🙄🙄🙄 But then the worse part😑 every sunday my granpa (69 M) comes over. He reminisces about his "Crewmates" from his Navy days and apparently a few of them died so u cry about it at dinner? Just start a new game FFS 😆 but he's lying so uhhh we get it bro: u just want attention 😯😅🤣
The problem is NONE of them even Play Omungus. How do i tell em that being a poser is a cringe Brie Larson unholesome Black History Month anti-chungus move?
and (#2) u dont even play amogus??? 😂😂😂. Even my moms work friend (28 M or somthing idk) came over yesterday to "look at her vents" I'm not even making this up 🙄🙄🙄 But then the worse part😑 every sunday my granpa (69 M) comes over. He reminisces about his "Crewmates" from his Navy days and apparently a few of them died so u cry about it at dinner? Just start a new game FFS 😆 but he's lying so uhhh we get it bro: u just want attention 😯😅🤣
The problem is NONE of them even Play Omungus. How do i tell em that being a poser is a cringe Brie Larson unholesome Black History Month anti-chungus move?
Among Us / Amogus
Chug jug with you (lyrics)
We got a...
1# Victory Royale, yeah, Fortnite we 'bout to get down (Get down!)
Ten kills on the board right now
Just wiped out Tomato Town
My friend just got downed, I revived him now we're heading southbound
Now we're in the Pleasant Park streets, look at the map, go to the marked sheet
(Chorus)
Take me to your Xbox to play Fortnite today!
You can take me to Moisty Mire, but not Loot Lake!
I really love to..
Chug Jug with you!
We can be pro Fortnite gamers!
(End of chorus)
He said..
"Hey Broski!", "You got some heals and a shield pot?"
"I need healing, and I am only at 1 HP."
"Hey dude, sorry!", "I found nothing on this safari."
"I checked the upstairs of that house, but not the underneath yet."
"There's a chest that's just down there,", "The storm is coming fast and you need heals to prepare!"
I've got V-Bucks that I'll spend, more than you can contend.
I'm a cool pro Fortnite gamer!
Cool.. pro.. Fortnite?
(Chorus)
Take me to your Xbox to play Fortnite today!
You can take me to Moisty Mire, but not Loot Lake!
I really love to..
Chug Jug with you!
We can be pro Fortnite gamers!
(End of chorus)
La, la la, la laa ee ya! X2
La, lA AUGHH
La laa ee ya! (Will you be my pro Fortnite gamer?)
Pro Fortnite Gamer..
Can we get a win this weekend?
Take me to Loot Lake!
Let's change the game mode and we can Disco Dominate!
Let's hop in an ATK, take me to the zone!
I'm running kind of low on mats, I need to break some stone!
Dressed in all his fancy clothes, He's got Renegade Raider and he's probably a pro!
He just shot my back, I turn back and I attack!
I just got a Victory Royale, A Victory Royale..
(Chorus)
Take me to your Xbox to play Fortnite today!
You can take me to Moisty Mire, but not Loot Lake!
I really love to..
Chug Jug with you!
We can be pro Fortnite gamers!
(End of chorus)