[Copypasta] So me and my bros wanted to once and for all test the hypothesis that we are all living in a matrix.

So me and my bros wanted to once and for all test the hypothesis that we are all living in a matrix. We came to the conclusion that a matrix could only run so smoothly because of our predictable behaviour. For example, if you eat it is likely that you swallow your food. Therefore, the matrix would be ready to initiate a digestion program. But if a group of people did something unpredictable, the matrix would shut down. So what we did is we randomly started gang banging each other. The matrix could have never predicted that because that is like super gay. But nothing happened (matrix-wise). But this is not point why am I writing about this. My friends now want to do the gang-banging shit again and I am not sure how to respond to that.
December 2021
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas

My boss recently discovered Among Us

Oh my fucking god guys I am fucking fuming. So the other day at work my boss told us that he recently discovered the video game Among Us, and ever since, his behaviour has become rather concerning. He now refers to me and my coworkers as 'crewmates'. Last Wednesday, when he noticed my teenage colleague slacking off at his workstation, he yelled at him saying he was "faking his tasks" and is "acting sus". I confronted my boss telling him that his behaviour lately has been egregious and immature, and he proceeded to call me an idiot and yelled "kicked!" The next day I caught him dancing around in his office blasting "among drip" from his desktop at full volume. I entered his office to kindly ask him to turn off the music since it was distracting to me and my coworkers. He looked at me angrily, telling me he has called an "emergency meeting", instructing me to have a seat. I asked him what was the matter and he told me that I have been acting extremely "sus". He repeatedly yelled "you're the impostor", telling me to say goodbye to my job because I have been "ejected". I fucking lost my job and I don't know what to do. Please help me Reddit! I have nowhere else to turn.
March 2021

Among Us / Amogus

Jeff / Reynad / Mitch

twitchquotes: As Jeff pushed his Fiery War Axe deeper into Reynad's Golden Coin, Reynad hit end turn. Conceal wore off to reveal it was in fact Mitch Jones's Fiery Bat that was penetrating Reynad's Huge Toad. Reynad gasped, and tried to scurry away, but Mitch Jones held on as he forced his way into his Unstable Portal.
twitch chat
May 2016
Reynad

Hearthstone

Life is good

twitchquotes: (β—•β€Ώβ—•βœΏ) Stay positiveγƒ½ΰΌΌΰΊˆ Ω„ΝœΰΊˆΰΌ½οΎ‰ Kripp is excellent (β—•β€Ώβ—•βœΏ) Chat is excellent γƒ½ΰΌΌΰΊˆ Ω„ΝœΰΊˆΰΌ½οΎ‰ Kitty is soft (β—•β€Ώβ—•βœΏ) γƒ½ΰΌΌΰΊˆ Ω„ΝœΰΊˆΰΌ½οΎ‰ Life is good (β—•β€Ώβ—•βœΏ_)
twitch chat
December 2014
Kripp

Be careful with what emojis you react with

Ok everyone since you don’t listen when I’m nice, I’m going to get mean. Reacting to messages with a clown (🀑), a skull (πŸ’€), or a nerd face (πŸ€“) isn’t funny. It’s not cool, it’s not interesting, it’s annoying. These 3 emojis in particular aren’t funny, they’re RUDE. We as staff work hard to keep this place safe, and to have you all constantly react to our messages with mean emojis makes me FURIOUS. STOP reacting to our messages with rude emojis. They do NOTHING but make you look really, really stupid. It shows you have no rebuttals to our arguments, so you have to use juvenile tactics paramount to terrorism in order to stop us from being able to speak out truth. FROM NOW ON, IF YOU REACT WITH ANY MEAN EMOJIS, I AM WRITING YOUR NAME DOWN. IF YOU ARE A SERIAL REACTOR, YOUR USERNAME IS GOING TO A GOOGLE DOC. AT THE END OF THE MONTH, I WILL TAKE THIS DOC TO THE APPROPRIATE AUTHORITIES FOR THEM TO INVESTIGATE AND ARREST YOU. This is your ONLY warning. Tread carefully…
July 2022

Kirby with gun

β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–„β–„β–ˆβ–€β–€β–€β–€β–€β–€β–€β–„β–„β”€ β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–„β–ˆβ–€β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–€β–€ β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–„β–ˆβ–€β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘ ────────────▄▀░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░ β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–„β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–„β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–„β–‘β–‘ β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–€β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–€β–ˆβ–‘ β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–„β”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ”€β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ”€β–ˆβ–‘ β”€β–„β–ˆβ–€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–€β–„β–„β–€β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ”€β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ”€β–ˆβ–‘ β–€β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–€β–ˆβ–€β–„β–„β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–‘ β–’β–’β–„β–„β–„β–’β–’β–ˆβ–“β–“β–€β–€β–ˆβ–„β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–‘ β–’β–„β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–„β–’β–ˆβ–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–€β–ˆβ–„β–‘β–ˆβ–“β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–“β–ˆβ–‘ β–’β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–’β–ˆβ–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–“β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–“β–ˆβ–‘ β–’β–€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–€β–’β–ˆβ–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–ˆβ–€β–ˆβ–€β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–€β–ˆβ–€β–‘ β–„β–’β–€β–€β–€β–’β–ˆβ–„β–„β–„β–„β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘ β–€β–„β–’β–’β–’β–’β–„β–€β–€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–„β–„β–„β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘ β–ˆβ–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–ˆβ–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–€β–€β–€β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘ β–ˆβ–’β–’β–’β–’β–ˆβ–€β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–ˆβ–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–‘ β–ˆβ–’β–€β–€β–’β–ˆβ–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–„β–€β–‘β–ˆβ–ˆβ–„β–„β–‘β–‘β–„β–„β–ˆβ–ˆβ–‘β–‘ β–ˆβ–’β–’β–’β–’β–ˆβ–“β–“β–“β–ˆβ–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–ˆβ–„β–‘β–‘β–€β–€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–€β–€β–‘β–‘β–‘ β”€β–ˆβ–„β–„β–ˆβ–ˆβ–„β–„β–„β–€β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–ˆβ–€β–„β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘ β”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ–€β–„β–“β–“β–„β–„β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘ β”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ–‘β–ˆβ–“β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–„β–“β–“β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘ β”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ–‘β–ˆβ–“β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–“β–“β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–„β–€β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘ β”€β”€β”€β–€β–„β–ˆβ–“β–ˆβ–„β–€β–€β–ˆβ–“β–“β–ˆβ–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘ β”€β”€β”€β–„β–„β–ˆβ–“β–“β–€β–€β–€β–„β–„β–€β–ˆβ–„β–€β–„β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘ β”€β–„β–€β–’β–’β–’β–ˆβ–€β–€β–€β–€β–‘β–„β–€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘ β–„β–€β–’β–’β–’β–’β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–„β–€β–€β–ˆβ–€β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘
October 2018
Text-to-Speech Playing