[Copypasta] So me and my bros wanted to once and for all test the hypothesis that we are all living in a matrix.

So me and my bros wanted to once and for all test the hypothesis that we are all living in a matrix. We came to the conclusion that a matrix could only run so smoothly because of our predictable behaviour. For example, if you eat it is likely that you swallow your food. Therefore, the matrix would be ready to initiate a digestion program. But if a group of people did something unpredictable, the matrix would shut down. So what we did is we randomly started gang banging each other. The matrix could have never predicted that because that is like super gay. But nothing happened (matrix-wise). But this is not point why am I writing about this. My friends now want to do the gang-banging shit again and I am not sure how to respond to that.
December 2021
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas

Sheldon says BAZINGA

"I've never been a fan of Internet Explorer" Crowd laughs nervously and a few grunts are heard from the back seats as people edge closer to hear the punchline. "Why not? Don't you like the internet?" The crowd suddenly stands up, aware that they are about to receive what they came for. People slowly edge closer to the set as Sheldon prepares for his next line. Sweat is clearly visible on his brow and his mouth is quivering in anticipation as he readies himself for what is about to happen. "I just prefer Firefox because, like the fox, I am cunning and nimble." The crowd suddenly surges forward as the words escape Sheldon's mouth. They are so powerful, they almost shake the very foundations of the CBS studios. He watches as, in what he perceives as slow motion, the crowd moves toward his fragile body. He has been preparing for this moment his whole life. This is his moment. This is his Emmy. This is his Golden Globe. This is even his Oscar. The crowd converges around him so quickly they ignore the trampled cries of Leonard and Penny, who now lie shaking on the floor, their bones crushed by the sheer mass of the crowd. Sheldon stares back at the eyes around him. What he sees are no longer people. What he sees is the human psyche stripped down to its core. Their lives, what they were before this moment has been forgotten. Ravenous. Hungry. They want one thing from him. Sheldon closes his eyes, clears his mind and relaxes his body. What happens next depends completely on the next few seconds. The time between this and what he mutters next feels like an eternity. Slowly, he opens his eyes. He looks at Leonard, then at Penny, both lying lifeless on the floor. Without a second thought, he says with resounding conviction... "BAZINGA" In a split second, the crowd pounces on his ready and waiting body. Man, woman, child all at once. Sheldon cries out in complete ecstasy as they consume his flesh. He stops suddenly, as he drifts into eternal slumber. Peace at last.
April 2021

Regi storms in the TSM meeting room

twitchquotes: In the TSM meeting room, Regi stormed in with the fury of God by his side. As everyone tried to flee, the Monkey King channeled cyclone effectively knocking the new imports back to China, he pulled his staff out of his ass and knocked Tactical back to Team Liquid. Spica and Huni manage to escape, but they are greeted at the exit, a contract enticing them to stay for 100 FTX bitcoins. They choose to stay.
twitch chat
March 2022

League of Legends

BOTH ULTIMATE AND MELEE ARE HYPE

twitchquotes: FeelsGoodMan BOTH ULTIMATE AND MELEE ARE HYPE FeelsGoodMan BOTH ULTIMATE AND MELEE ARE HYPE FeelsGoodMan BOTH ULTIMATE AND MELEE ARE HYPE
twitch chat
February 2019

Super Smash Bros

Spamming aliens and octopuses

twitchquotes: Honestly, chat, you guys are so immature. Do you really think you can affect the outcome of the game by spamming aliens and octopuses? You're really degrading my twitch experience with your mindless crowd mentality. Please stop, or else...
twitch chat
September 2018

Rhyme Chant

forZeDong

⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠟⠉⢉⣀⣤⣄⣀⣀⠀⠀⠈⠙⠻⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠋⠁⢀⣴⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠙⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣇⠀⠀⣞⡛⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣸⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧⢰⡯⠿⠿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠿⠛⠛⠻⠷⡀⠀⠀⢀⣰⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣶⣳⣾⣿⠃⣠⣤⣒⡋⠀⠀⣀⡀⢰⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⣿⡿⠟⠀⠙⠻⣷⣦⣤⣶⡭⠀⡸⢾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣀⢥⣖⣀⠀⠀⠸⣿⣿⠿⠁⠀⣽⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣯⣭⣿⣿⣷⣶⣿⠷⠔⠀⠈⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠟⠃⡽⠛⠛⠛⠛⠋⠀⠀⠀⢀⠐⠁⠈⠻⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⠿⠛⠉⠉⠉⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠳⣷⣷⠀⠀⠀⢀⡠⠕⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠉⠻⠿⢿ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠙⠢⠒⠚⠁⠀
September 2021
Forsen

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