[Copypasta] So me and my bros wanted to once and for all test the hypothesis that we are all living in a matrix.

So me and my bros wanted to once and for all test the hypothesis that we are all living in a matrix. We came to the conclusion that a matrix could only run so smoothly because of our predictable behaviour. For example, if you eat it is likely that you swallow your food. Therefore, the matrix would be ready to initiate a digestion program. But if a group of people did something unpredictable, the matrix would shut down. So what we did is we randomly started gang banging each other. The matrix could have never predicted that because that is like super gay. But nothing happened (matrix-wise). But this is not point why am I writing about this. My friends now want to do the gang-banging shit again and I am not sure how to respond to that.
December 2021
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I think my boss might be a communist

I think my boss might be a communist. So a while ago, I got my first paycheck at my new job at a fast food place. I guess it wasn't too bad, but I did the math and figured out that I sold a lot more food per hour than I got paid for, even when you account for the price of the food. When I tried to talk to him about it, he said we're all part of one big team, but some people get paid more than others. This is suspiciously close to the famous "some are more equal than others" from my favorite book, Animal Farm and is what really got me thinking about this. We make the money, and then he takes it and gives it to someone who doesn't even work! I'm not economist, but this is textbook socialism. I think I've come to the conclusion that the best way for me to combat these socialist business practices would be teaming up with my fellow workers unify our power and demonstrate that we understand the full value of our labor. Anyone else have similar experiences with obviously Marxist bosses before, or any other advice?
May 2021

Hank Hill

⢀⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠿⠿⠿⠛⠉⠉⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⢷⡀⠀⠀⠀ ⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⠉⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⠤⠤⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢻⠀⠀⠀ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠋⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠉⣀⠤⠤⢄⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢾⠀⠀⠀ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡏⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⣀⣸⣦⣀⠀ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠇⠀⠀⢀⣀⣠⣤⣤⣤⣴⣶⣶⣦⣤⣤⣾⡟⠋⢉⡉⠁⡟⢿⡄ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢂⣠⡾⣿⠋⠉⠁⢠⣦⢄⠀⠈⣿⠀⠀⣿⡇⢴⡻⣷⡢⣧⢸⣷ ⢻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⠉⠀⣿⡀⠀⢞⣁⣛⠤⠃⠀⣿⠀⠀⢸⣷⣀⣸⣖⣀⣸⣿⡿ ⢠⡟⠋⠻⠿⠟⠀⠀⠀⢿⣧⣤⣤⣴⣾⣿⡤⠶⠟⠀⠀⠀⠻⡉⠉⠉⠁⠀⠈⣷ ⢸⣄⠈⢹⠂⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠉⠉⠉⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⡄⠀⠀⠀⠙⠢⢄⠀⠀⠀⣿ ⠀⠹⣦⠈⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢠⢏⡤⢤⣀⣀⡠⠏⠀⠀⠐⢲⡇ ⠀⠀⠘⣷⠂⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⠀⠀⠤⠂⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⡀⠀⠀⢸⡇ ⠀⠀⠀⢹⡄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣴⣊⣯⣽⣵⣷⡇⠀⠀⠀⡇ ⠀⠀⠀⠈⣧⠀⠀⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠿⠛⠃⠀⠀⠀⣇ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⢹⡀⠀⠹⡄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠛⠋⠉⠠⠒⠂⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠘⡇⠀⠀⠱⢄⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣠⠏ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣀⠴⠀⡏
August 2020

Forsen how DARE you miss lethal

twitchquotes: Forsen how DARE you miss lethal. You are a pro gamer. I look up to you as my hearthstone mentor, perhaps even as a father figure. My dad wouldn't miss lethal, and neither should you...
twitch chat
November 2014
Forsen

Tempostorm royalty fees

twitchquotes: (◕‿◕✿) Dear Mr. Kripp. We at Tempostorm have heard that you have used the coined word "Tempo" in a stream today. Reynad will contact you shortly regarding royalty fees. Have a good Tempo Day Back (◕‿◕✿)
twitch chat
April 2015
Kripp

Kripp wins Best Actor

twitchquotes: It is the 2018 Oscars and Tom Hanks stands at the podium to announce Best Actor. “Boy,” he says, “we got a real competition this year! Johnny Depp, Leo DiCaprio, George Clooney, anyone could win!” The world holds its breath to see who will win the most prestigious acting award in the world. “Wow!” says Hanks. “I don’t believe it! The winner is Kripparrian in his ‘Unsponsored’ Hero Academy 2™ Stream!”
twitch chat
March 2018
Kripp

Hearthstone

Text-to-Speech Playing