So me and my bros wanted to once and for all test the hypothesis that we are all living in a matrix. We came to the conclusion that a matrix could only run so smoothly because of our predictable behaviour. For example, if you eat it is likely that you swallow your food. Therefore, the matrix would be ready to initiate a digestion program. But if a group of people did something unpredictable, the matrix would shut down.
So what we did is we randomly started gang banging each other. The matrix could have never predicted that because that is like super gay. But nothing happened (matrix-wise).
But this is not point why am I writing about this. My friends now want to do the gang-banging shit again and I am not sure how to respond to that.
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas
Mr. Morosan's deceptive practices
twitchquotes:
Twitch Chat (“Chat”) respectfully submits this memorandum of law in support of its motion to enjoin Octavian Morosan (“nl_Kripp”) from distributing false and deceptive advertising for his stream. The "nl" of Mr. Morosan's streaming identity refers to "no life." This is a blatantly deceptive and demonstrably false claim as it can be qualitatively determined that Mr. Morosan does indeed have a life. The Lanham Act merits an injunction preventing Mr. Morosan's deceptive practices.
twitch chat
Kripp
COCKtober emojipasta v4
RNGesus who art in Hearthstone
twitchquotes:
RNGesus who art in Hearthstone, Random be thy game. Thy random come, Thy turn be done, on Azeroth as it is in Hearthstone. Give us this day our daily quest, and forgive us our misplays, as we forgive those who queue as hunter and lead us not into fatigue but deliver us from zero. For thine is the random, and the mulligan, and the topdeck, always yet never, Ameno.
twitch chat
Reynad
Hearthstone
You used ect instead of etc
Hello! You have made the mistake of writing "ect" instead of "etc."
"Ect" is a common misspelling of "etc," an abbreviated form of the Latin phrase "et cetera." Other abbreviated forms are etc., &c., &c, and et cet. The Latin translates as "et" to "and" + "cetera" to "the rest;" a literal translation to "and the rest" is the easiest way to remember how to use the phrase.
I Am Very Smart
Oh my gourd, I am financially ruined (agricultural futures)
I have lost everything, and I'm not sure how to continue. This summer I invested $17,500 (six months salary and my entire life savings) into ornamental gourd futures, hoping to capitalize on this lucrative emerging industry. After watching a video about Vincent Kosuga and his monopoly on onions, I decided I'd try to do something similar with another vegetable. I did some research and found out many agricultural forecasters expected this year's gourd yield would be far smaller than the past, due to deteriorating soil conditions in central Mexico and a warmer-than-average spring. At first, demand soared around Halloween and prices skyrocketed, but the gourd bubble burst on November 12th. Unfortunately, the coronavirus caused a massive drop-off in demand due to fewer families decorating their tables for thanksgiving, and prices plummeted. I had invested early enough that I thought I would still be fine, but then on the morning of December 2nd, a new email in my inbox caused my stomach to turn into a pretzel. The massive gourd shipment from Argentina, scheduled for early March, had arrived. I was planning on selling off my futures right before this, in February, but this ruined everything. To top it off, the gourds in this shipment were absolutely gargantuan, some topping 4 pounds each, causing the price-per-pound to drop like an anchor into the range of 6 cents per pound. I am ruined.