Hi Sophie,
Thank you for your application to Team KFC.
We're cluckin' delighted you're keen to join our flock, however at this moment in time your skills aren't the secret recipe the Colonel is looking for.
But we'd love to hear from you again when you have some more experience under your wing, so please give us a cluck if you would like to apply in the future.
Best Wishes,
Team KFC
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More Copypastas
Le fedora has arrived
ββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββ
ββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββ
βββββββββββleββfedoraβββββββββββ
ββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββ
ββββββββββhasββββarrivedββββββββ
ββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββ
ββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββ
ββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββ
ββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββ
ββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββ
Classic
69 nice
twitchquotes:
Oh you think youβre funny eh? Yeah youβre so funny commenting nice on a number that represents reproduction. Yeah so funny. Wouldnβt it be nice if somebody came at your doorstep at 4:20 am with a bat that has 69 written on it? Yeah that will be as funny as your joke.
twitch chat
Fired for masturbating on a Zoom call
So this just happened an hour ago and I am still shaking. Iβm a staff in public accounting and was in the middle of a 3-hour training on Zoom. Usually when we have these types of calls I just keep the video running in the background and I walk around the room doing things to pass the time and distract myself from the monotone presenters. Well today I forgot that I left the camera on (I usually always have it off but earlier today I had a call with the partner to discuss my upcoming promotion, so I had to have it on). I had no clue I had left the camera on and in the middle of walking around and muttering to myself as I was zoning out, I flipped it out and started to rub one out. I did so with complete confidence, openly and ferociously, stroking faster and faster until I heard the presenter stop and kindly asked me to turn my camera off. Mortified, I lifted my pants up and rushed over to turn the camera off. Soon after the training was over I had a call with HR and they let me know that I was being terminated. I hated the job anyway so not so bummed about that, but Iβm not sure what to say in interviews now if Iβm asked why I left this job. Any advice?
Navy Seals Copypasta in Middle English
Bi Godβs bons, hwat didest thou seien of min, thou litel cunte? Thou shalt knouen ich was gradΕ«Δten best in min classe in soldierie, and ich was in mani-fold skekeries on the Frenshe men, and I hawe more than thre hundred slaghs that ben verried. Ich am expertful in mancowe militaunce, and ich am the best longe-boue archer in all the Englisch hoste. Thou are nout to min but a newe marke. Ich wille thee sottili renden, semble-wise was neverte beholden; par fei! Thou think thou canst afforthe to speken that shite ouer the βInternetβ? Think-agen, churl! as we speken nou, ich am spΔking wit minen aspΔ«eris in all of Engellonde, and thin estre bith spΔ«en aboute noue, thus thou shalt fore-dighten before the storm, maddok! The storm that wille shenden that spΔ«tΗus frivΕl thou namest βthine lifβ. Thou art ded, childe. Ich can ben ought-wher, ought-tym, and ich can slen thou with ouer seven hundred methodes, and all bar-handed!
Ich am not only expertful in bar-handed baratri, but ich haue infare to the pleine armurie of the host of engelonde, and ich wille emploien hit for slen thine spitous arse, mandrake mymmerkin. If only thou cΗuthest hauen knouen what unblessed pΕ«nΔ«ciΗun thine littel βgleuβ glose was about to cause, parchaunce thou hauen holden thine tΗng stille. But thou cΗuthest nout, thou didest nout, and now thou paien for hit, thou simpleton. Ich wille casten oute furour upon thee, and thou wille senchen in hit. Thou art utterly ded, mannikin.
Navy Seal
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Reynad