Hi Sophie,
Thank you for your application to Team KFC.
We're cluckin' delighted you're keen to join our flock, however at this moment in time your skills aren't the secret recipe the Colonel is looking for.
But we'd love to hear from you again when you have some more experience under your wing, so please give us a cluck if you would like to apply in the future.
Best Wishes,
Team KFC
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas
I sexually identify as Harambe
twitchquotes:
I sexually Identify as Harambe. Ever since I was a boy I dreamed of living in a gorilla enclosure at Cincinnati zoo and dragging children. People say to me that a person being Harambe is impossible and I'm retarded but I don't care, I'm beautiful. I'm having a plastic surgeon install the name Harambe, harmless intentions and a gorillas body on me. From now on I want you guys to call me "Harambe" and respect my right to roam around the gorilla enclosure and drag around small children. If you can't accept me you're an agrizoophobe and need to check your zoo official privilege. Thank you for being so understanding.
twitch chat
Harambe
I sexually Identify as
ACHOO uh oh you just got the Delta variant!
ACHOOโผ๏ธ๐คง๐คงWhat was thatโ๏ธโ๏ธ๐๐Uh-oh ๐ฏ looks like you just got ๐๐ the Delta variant! ๐๐๐ Donโt you know ๐บ๐ธโ๏ธ๐คข๐ค๐ค๐คค the world ๐ HOE Organization ๐๐
called it the most DOMINANT ๐๐ผ๐๐ผ strain since the start of the ๐ PANTIE-DEMIC ๐๐๐ No more touching daddy ๐ฉ๐ฉ ๐ง๐ผ until you wash ๐งฝ๐งฝyour dirty ๐พnasty ๐คข little ๐ค๐ผfingers โ๐ป๐ค๐ปโ๐ป๐ค๐ปfor 6๏ธโฃ9๏ธโฃ seconds with sHOEp ๐งผ and water ๐ง ๐
otherwise it doesnโt count ๐คก๐คก๐คก Time to stop ๐ spreading the germs ๐คฎ๐ฅด๐คand start spreading ๐งyour legs๐คค๐ฆถ๐ฝ๐ฆต๐ปbecause everyone ๐ฉโ๐ฆฐ๐จโ๐ซ๐ฆน๐พโโ๏ธ๐ง๐ผโโ๏ธhas to keep TWERKING ๐๐from home! ๐ก SEND THIS TO 1๏ธโฃ0๏ธโฃ other coronavirus cucks ๐๐พ๐๐ปotherwise Fuckboy Fauci ๐๐ is cumming for you ๐๐๐
Emoji Pasta
Coronavirus
COVID
I saw 1.9293948382% of a girl's shoulders today
I saw 1.9293948382% of a girl's shoulders today. I immediately fell to my knees, as the rush of dopamine caused my the impending earth-shattering orgasm started making me moan loud enough to deafen everyone in the immediate vicinity. What followed was a torrential downpour of every single sperm cell I ever have or ever will produce, shot out so hard that my dick was ripped apart by my รผbernut accelerating to 5% the speed of light by the time it left my urethra. It vaporized the girl as it punched right through her, barely slowed, before cutting through a structural support beam in the school as if it were a nuclear-powered angle grinder. The sheer weight of this historical nut, combined with the total destruction of everything in its path, caused the school to collapse, and every female in the state of New Jersey to fall pregnant with my children. When the final death toll was tallied, there were 146 deaths, 458 injuries, and over 4 million pregnancies. As I lay dying under the rubble of my high school, I rest easy, knowing every one of my sons will repeat my glorious actions.
Monitor always grey, need you to fix
twitchquotes:
โ๏ธ๐ 
HELLO? Computer repairman?? โ๏ธ๐ This is QT โ๏ธ๐ Monitor always grey โ๏ธ๐ need you to fix
HELLO? Computer repairman?? โ๏ธ๐ This is QT โ๏ธ๐ Monitor always grey โ๏ธ๐ need you to fix
twitch chat
imaqtpie
League of Legends
Trolling My Office With Among Us PART 8 (GRAND SERIES FINALE)
I was dashing around the office. Everyone looked at me weird. I was screaming, "SUS! SUS! AMOGUS!" Everyone started chanting with me. "SUS! SUS! AMOGUS! AMONG SUS! WHEN THE IMPOSTER IS SUS!" We all did the Among Us beatbox in unison. It was beautiful. Like a horse waving its mane in the air on a bright and pretty day. But suddenly I noticed; one of the kids wasn't doing the Among Drip beatbox! So I ran over to her.
"Hey kid," I said, "Stop being an asparagus or whatever your dumb star signs are and be not sussy with us!" She looked at me weird and said "Whatever, old man." That was so disrespectful and SUS of her! So I put my hands around her neck and twisted her head off "Like in that one kill animation in Among Us."
Everyone looked at me in horror, even the ones who were Among Beatboxing with me! Everyone was looking at me like I had just sexually abused a Syrian 4 year old refugee (which I had done before.) I said "What?" when suddenly the elevator opened. It was the CEO of Pepsi-co! I noticed the Pepsi pin on her shirt and said "When the Pepsi is sus!" because it reminded me of the Among Us crewmate .I did the sussy Among Us beatbox. You know the one? It goes; ding ding ding ding ding ding ding, ding ding ding! BM BM! You know the one!
But, before I could finish it, I noticed; her boobs were big! I took my finger and poked her titty that was almost bursting out of her shirt. "Booba." I said. She had a face more horrified than anyone in the room, like before when everyone looked at me last week like I murdered Bosnian children. You remember that, right? She screamed "SECURITY!"
Two buff men with pecs almost as big as hers and clothes so tight you could see their 12-pack abs through the shirt tackled me. I said "That's a bit SUSSY!" (Like how the guy said it in the "STOP POSTING ABOUT AMONG US" rant. "You're not wholesome Keanu Chungus 100 Fortnite bad TikTok cringe Minecraft & Reddit good." I said. I got out and kicked their nuts. Although they were big, (not as big as my magnum mega-cock, you know like the size of Danny Devito's?) they still cried when I kicked their nuts.
"You fucking cracker-jacks! You're Tik-Tokers trying to invade Reddit!" I screamed. I dashed for the door but an alarm started blaring and steel barriers went down over the windows. I barely slid out of the door before the steel door closed under me. I heard the alarms blaring even from inside. I started running, running away trying to flee the scene. Not even half a mile away I saw a SWAT police car dash by me.
It started to slow down, oh shit, they noticed me! I jumped into a nearby bush and hid, hoping he wouldn't see me. Quickly, a bunch of men fully armed with automatic rifles and heavy armor came out of the back, scoping the area around.
"We can't let him get away!" I heard one of them yell. Were they talking about me? I didn't do anything sus, at least if murder, sexual harassment, and assault don't count as being sus. I stayed still, not even making a sound.
A few minutes in, I heard my dickhole queef. It didn't make that much of a sound but I just barely saw out of the bush, the SWAT team start looking around. Shit. They heard my cock fart. I couldn't move as it would make too much noise. Eventually, after a while of looking, they just left. I was free. I quickly got out and ran, but making sure to run behind the bushes so I wouldn't be spotted.
I eventually got into the main part of the city. The town wasn't all that big, but it was big enough for me to hide. I did it. I really did it. I had gotten away.
Eventually, I made it far. Far out of town. I can't even tell Reddit where I am. It's too secret. I'm currently living a secret life in my inconspicuous location. But, this is the story of how I trolled my office. With Among Us.