[Copypasta] Anyways uhm... I bought a whole bunch of RFLCT

twitchquotes: Anyways uhm... I bought a whole bunch of RFLCT, cream, do you know what blue light is? Anybody knows what blue light is? No, not bud light. I think that's a beer brand. Talking blue light. Anyways, RFLCT is a new skin care product that protects against blue light and unwanted blue light that may be coming from your monitor. So that's my story. I bought a whole bunch of stuff, put them around the la casa. Little bottles. Stuff like that.
twitch chat
October 2021
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas

Oh my gourd, I am financially ruined (agricultural futures)

I have lost everything, and I'm not sure how to continue. This summer I invested $17,500 (six months salary and my entire life savings) into ornamental gourd futures, hoping to capitalize on this lucrative emerging industry. After watching a video about Vincent Kosuga and his monopoly on onions, I decided I'd try to do something similar with another vegetable. I did some research and found out many agricultural forecasters expected this year's gourd yield would be far smaller than the past, due to deteriorating soil conditions in central Mexico and a warmer-than-average spring. At first, demand soared around Halloween and prices skyrocketed, but the gourd bubble burst on November 12th. Unfortunately, the coronavirus caused a massive drop-off in demand due to fewer families decorating their tables for thanksgiving, and prices plummeted. I had invested early enough that I thought I would still be fine, but then on the morning of December 2nd, a new email in my inbox caused my stomach to turn into a pretzel. The massive gourd shipment from Argentina, scheduled for early March, had arrived. I was planning on selling off my futures right before this, in February, but this ruined everything. To top it off, the gourds in this shipment were absolutely gargantuan, some topping 4 pounds each, causing the price-per-pound to drop like an anchor into the range of 6 cents per pound. I am ruined.
January 2021

Classic

WallStreetBets

Why would Kim Jong-un insult me by calling me "old"

twitchquotes: Why would Kim Jong-un insult me by calling me "old," when I would NEVER call him "short and fat?" Oh well, I try so hard to be his friend - and maybe someday that will happen!
twitch chat
November 2017

Hey guys a little bit sick today

twitchquotes: ResidentSleeper Hey guys a little bit sick today ResidentSleeper kinda tired cuz I didn't sleep well ResidentSleeper gonna be another short stream ResidentSleeper we're going to clear up some dallies on the free accounts first ResidentSleeper we'll do some arena later ResidentSleeper
twitch chat
October 2015
Kripp

Jealous that Mario got to date Peach

twitchquotes: When I was 9 I was really jealous that Mario got to date Peach so to let my frustration out I turned on Mario Kart 64 and drove Mario off a cliff for 2 hours then went back to writing my fanfiction of me being Peach's bff and bf.
twitch chat
August 2020

Kripp with sunglasses

โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–„โ–“โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–„โ–“โ–€โ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–€โ–“โ–„โ–‘ โ–‘โ–โ–“โ–’โ–‘โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–’โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–“ โ–‘โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–„โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–‘ โ–‘โ–โ–“โ–‘โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–„โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆ โ–‘โ–โ–“โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–€โ–‘โ–€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–€โ–‘ โ–‘โ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–’โ–’โ–‘โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–Œ โ–‘โ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–„โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–’โ–’โ–Œ โ–‘โ–‘โ–โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–’โ–“โ–“โ–€โ–€โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–ˆโ–“โ–“โ–’โ–’โ–Œ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–‘โ–’โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–’โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–’โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–Œโ–‘ โ–‘โ–„โ–„โ–“โ–“โ–’โ–“โ–„โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–“โ–“โ–€โ–’โ–„
January 2015
Kripp
Text-to-Speech Playing