[Copypasta] Your social credit score has increased

中华人民共和国寄语] Great work, Citizen! Your social credit score has increased by [5] Integers. Keep up the good work! [ 中华人民共和国寄语] [ 中华人民共和国寄语] Great work, Citizen! Your social credit score has increased by [100] Integers. You can now have priority transport and can now get into prestigious colleges! Keep up the good work! [ 中华人民共和国寄语] [ 中华人民共和国寄语] Great work, Citzen! Your social credit score has increased by [500] Integers. You can now take up official, government job, where we pay you high salary, unlike America. Keep up the good work! [ 中华人民共和国寄语] [ 中华人民共和国寄语] Great work, Citizen! Your social credit score has increased by [1000] Integers. We will ensure you get great salary, good benefits, and good social standing, no matter the means. Keep up the good work! [ 中华人民共和国寄语]Copied! [ 中华人民共和国寄语] Great work, Celebrity! Your social credit score has increased by [5000] Integers. You will be famous across mainland of China, for what you are currently doing. We will make you celebrity, and even better salary. Keep up the good work! [ 中华人民共和国寄语] [ 中华人民共和国寄语] Great work, Celebrity! Your social credit score has increased by [10000] Integers. Xi Jinping would like to meet you personally at Zhongnanhai to encourage your good work. I am sure you notice that you have gained lot of dislike recently. Do not worry. We will send re-education vans to make sure your figure is in good graces. Keep up the good work! [ 中华人民共和国寄语]
October 2021
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas

It's not gay with socks on

When I was 13 years old a buddy of mine tried to convince me to fool around. I wasn't into it, and he told me it's not gay if you're wearing socks. I didn't believe him, went home, and asked my dad. That's 'gentleman's gay', hardly gay at all. Don't see it much these days. The 50s were a different time. What were we to do? We were typical boarding school boys, rich with vigor, skin slick with drying sweat and gritty earth from a game of pigskin. At night our young, virile bodies filled the dorm with sweet-musky vapors, like game-meat stewed with apple and peppercorn. You'd awake in darkness to the hushed, melodic rhythm of two pairs of white tube socks, barely visible in moonlight, bouncing on the hardwood floor. The deep bond of male friendship played like a thousand different human instruments. The wet claps of skin on skin, the gentle thud of heads on backboards, frenzied cries in the throes of climax. Wilbur, so fat and soft like tapioca pudding. His breasts were so like the real thing, what we fantasized of our future wives. Unwilling, defenseless Wilbur, so slow and uncoordinated in the dark. 10 of us would glaze his bare, pink flesh like a giant raspberry danish. He once had the audacity to tell Headmaster Redford. But Redford was a Deerfield boy once, he understood. So he joined us on our midnight hog hunts. Through college and years after we'd find time here and there, away from the wives at a family lake house. But it's been decades now - the times have certainly changed. If you wanted to do something private with another man, in your socks, it wasn’t ‘gay’. It was just two men, celebrating each other's strength.
August 2021

Alone in his heart, Reynard commits saltdoku

twitchquotes: "Tides my player," say the Reynardino, "you are my slaverrino, why don't you make videos?" But the Tides don't respond. He elopes to C9 and runs his hand through his unshaven face scruff and say "Well met!" to the twisted Kolento. Alone in his heart, Reynard commits saltdoku at a Saltbucks in San Bernardino with Al Pacino, no cappucino.
twitch chat
November 2014
Reynad

Transcript of me cleaning my keyboard and reassembling it

\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\ ..//////PPPP;;;LLMNBIYNJHJNNKGBCVRYCZXXXX6Zew$;/BNM,.Z4110,HUQC////-*-*77778747474747//YU4:30 PM 23/06/20214:30 PM 23/06/20214:30 PM 23/06/20214:30 PM 23/06/20214:30 PM 23/06/20214:30 PM 23/06/20214:30 PM 23/06/20214:30 PM 23/06/20214:30 PM 23/06/20214:30 PM 23/06/20214:30 PM 23/06/20214:30 PM 23/06/20214:30 PM 23/06/20214:30 PM 23/06/20214:30 PM 23/06/20214:30 PM 23/06/20214:30 PM 23/06/2021````````````````````12222225668886666666777777777-0000000099999999999999999999================= WEEEEEQQQQQQQRYIIIIIIIUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUIIIYYYYYYYYYT] [POOOOOOOOOOO ///////..,,MNN ///'[''''''''''''''''''...,M.////////////////////////;;/;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;/....,M,LLLLLLLLLLLKKKKKKKKJJJJBVCBBBBBVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVCCCCCCCCC CCCCCC.....GBHNHZXXXXXXVGGGGGFFFFFFDDDDDDDDDD==[]]]]]]][=========MMMMMMM, KL,/,L;.,,,NMNMCL.,,,,,,,,,LKLK,L. SDADDDDSDWAXDDDDQWASEDXSSSD `1WEZESXE3ASZZZZZ ++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++-+00000000000000000006311.....12223653 7+OJUSQ q
June 2021

I hate British people

Lame ass British motherfucking broken teeth tea drinking small country weird accent monocle top hat wearer bitchass motherfuckers with their poor hygiene and dental care and a shitty bitchass old ass motherfucking queen that was alive during the fucking Boston tea party just to say “OH WHAT BLOODY WANKERS” towards the Americans who made the smart ass decision to throw their dumbass motherfucking tea into the fucking BOSTON HARBOR then say “see you” and get the fuck out and start a new nation and shit cause they couldn’t tolerate people who put the letter “u” into the word color and call cookies fucking BISCUTS, the British cant even see straight with their crossed-ass eyes and their messed up teeth and EVERYTIME they take a bite atleast 8 of their teeth on their crooked-ass jaws are shoved into their tongues and the top of their worthless ass bitchass motherfucking mouths and then, with a mouth full of blood, they’ll say “OH HOW FUCKING SCRUMPTIOUS” like shut the fuck up bitch no one wants to hear your accent that sounds worse than motherfucking nails on a chalkboard. Just. SHUT. THE FUCK. UP. Lameass wankers.
February 2021

British People

it's okay take monday off

twitchquotes: It's ok [insert streamer name], take off monday, tuesday, wednesday, thursday, friday, saturday, sunday, january, february, march, april, may, june, july, august, september, october, november, december. 2020, 2021, 2022, 2023, 2023, 21st century, 22nd century, 23rd century off. you work too hard. :)
twitch chat
September 2020
Text-to-Speech Playing