[Copypasta] Your social credit score has increased

中华人民共和国寄语] Great work, Citizen! Your social credit score has increased by [5] Integers. Keep up the good work! [ 中华人民共和国寄语] [ 中华人民共和国寄语] Great work, Citizen! Your social credit score has increased by [100] Integers. You can now have priority transport and can now get into prestigious colleges! Keep up the good work! [ 中华人民共和国寄语] [ 中华人民共和国寄语] Great work, Citzen! Your social credit score has increased by [500] Integers. You can now take up official, government job, where we pay you high salary, unlike America. Keep up the good work! [ 中华人民共和国寄语] [ 中华人民共和国寄语] Great work, Citizen! Your social credit score has increased by [1000] Integers. We will ensure you get great salary, good benefits, and good social standing, no matter the means. Keep up the good work! [ 中华人民共和国寄语]Copied! [ 中华人民共和国寄语] Great work, Celebrity! Your social credit score has increased by [5000] Integers. You will be famous across mainland of China, for what you are currently doing. We will make you celebrity, and even better salary. Keep up the good work! [ 中华人民共和国寄语] [ 中华人民共和国寄语] Great work, Celebrity! Your social credit score has increased by [10000] Integers. Xi Jinping would like to meet you personally at Zhongnanhai to encourage your good work. I am sure you notice that you have gained lot of dislike recently. Do not worry. We will send re-education vans to make sure your figure is in good graces. Keep up the good work! [ 中华人民共和国寄语]
October 2021
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas

Response to the Vaporeon copypasta (Vaporeons are dangerous)

Hey guys did you know that in terms of water Pokemon inland, Vaporeon would be very capable of hunting grown humans? Their bodies being the size of a medium dog and weight are just enough to pounce on a man and throw him to the ground. Their bulky stats would allow them to shrug off and outlast any attempts by the human to fight them off, and that's not getting even into moves like Hydro Pump and Scald. But that's not all these water dogs have up their sleeves. Their bodies being so similar to water not only lets them hide in bodies of water and become nearly invisible to catch prey off guard, but allows them to enter the body through almost any orifice. Things do not get any better once a Vaporeon is inside of you. If asphyxiation doesn't kill you, the internal bleeding and displacement of internal organs certainly will. In addition, they are able to learn Charm, allowing them to take advantage of certain... desires humans may have and create even more opportunities to go in for the kill. But wait, there's more. Since Vaporeon is an omnivore, its cells would need to be able to digest proteins, such as those in meat. This only opens even more possibilities as to what these creatures are capable of.
March 2022

Pokemon

Ben Brode increased Kripp's odds for going second

twitchquotes: Hi Kripp, Ben Brode here. After checking your account, we noticed that your odds for going second were accidentally set to "60" % instead of "50"%. We apologize for the inconvenience, as this change was mean to be applied to a "reynad" account. The issue is on our radar, and we will patch it when we can. Thank you and have a good day!
twitch chat
February 2017
Kripp

Hearthstone

France always loses wars to England?

You’re right, France does always lose wars to England. Except: The Norman invasion 1066. The Anglo-French War 1213-1214. Anglo-French War 1294-1303. War of Saint-Sardos 1324. Hundred Years’ War 1337-1453. War of the league of Cambrai 1512-1514. Italian War of 1542-46. The Rough Wooing 1543-1550. Italian War of 1551-59. English expedition to France 1562-1563. The Anglo-French War 1627-1629. Second Anglo-Dutch War 1665-1667. The Nine Years’ War 1688-1697. The American Revolutionary War. War of the French Revolution 1793-1802. Anglo-Spanish War 1796-1808. War of the First Coalition. War of the Second Coalition. War of the Third Coalition. War of the Fourth Coalition. And the War of the Fifth Coalition. But aside from all those England always beats France.
May 2021

DIO walking

⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⡛⠟⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠨⡀⠄⠄⡘⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⢁⠼⠊⣱⡃⠄⠈⠹⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⡿⠛⡧⠁⡴⣦⣔⣶⣄⢠⠄⠄⠹⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣤⠭⠏⠙⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⡧⠠⠠⢠⣾⣾⣟⠝⠉⠉⠻⡒⡂⠄⠙⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡪⠘⠄⠉⡄⢹⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⠃⠁⢐⣷⠉⠿⠐⠑⠠⠠⠄⣈⣿⣄⣱⣠⢻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣯⠷⠈⠉⢀⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣴⠤⣬⣭⣴⠂⠇⡔⠚⠍⠄⠄⠁⠘⢿⣷⢈⣿⣿⣿⣿⡧⠂⣠⠄⠸⡜⡿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣇⠄⡙⣿⣷⣭⣷⠃⣠⠄⠄⡄⠄⠄⠄⢻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧⣁⣿⡄⠼⡿⣦⣬⣰⣿ ⣿⣷⣥⣴⣿⣿⣿⣿⠷⠲⠄⢠⠄⡆⠄⠄⠄⡨⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣎⠐⠄⠈⣙⣩⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢟⠕⠁⠈⢠⢃⢸⣿⣿⣶⡘⠑⠄⠸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣦⡀⡉⢿⣧⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠋⠄⠄⢀⠄⠐⢩⣿⣿⣿⣿⣦⡀⠄⠄⠉⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣨⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⡟⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠋⢀⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣦⣀⢟⣻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⡆⠆⠄⠠⡀⡀⠄⣽⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⡿⡅⠄⠄⢀⡰⠂⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
January 2021

JoJo's Bizarre Adventure

If that's not his knee then wha...

twitchquotes: If that's not his knee then wha... oh my... Kappa
twitch chat
February 2015
Kripp
Text-to-Speech Playing