[Copypasta] You fool. The statement "It's opposite day" is paradoxical by nature.

You fool. You imbecile. You absolute buffoon. You cannot simply say "I'm gay! It's Opposite Day btw". The statement "It's Opposite Day" is paradoxical by nature. With the logic that everything said during Opposite Day is untrue, saying "It's Opposite Day" on Opposite Day negates that statement. Because the statement "It's Opposite Day" is now untrue, it is no longer Opposite Day and therefore your original remark is now correct. That means it IS opposite day, and a neverending cycle that is known as The Liar's Paradox is created. You were a complete idiot not to invoke the conditional clause. For example, if you were to say, "If it were opposite day, I'd be gay!" your statement would not be holed. You have been snared within a web of your own making. Listen to the sky crack and fall. The universe will implode on itself and it's your own fault.
September 2021
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas

Am I The Asshole for not being able to trade options for my dad? I’m 6.

This started about 4 years ago when I was 2 years old. My dad started to supplement me picture books and cartoons with beginner options books and Martin Shkerli's live videos on how to pick pharmaceutical stocks. Over the course of these years I have retained absolutely nothing even though my dad has spent every waking minute trying to make me understand. He has done almost everything including having Jerome Powell's speeches play while I am sleeping and only having Warren Buffet on the TV to try and make me understand the market. Yesterday, he got to a breaking point when I couldn't differentiate between a straddle and a strangle even though we went through different strategies for almost a month straight. My dad finally convinced my mom that they were doing the right thing when he said that I will soon be a Wendy's worker begging my wife's husband for a weekly allowance because I will never amount to be anything. He couldn't fathom raising a kid who was not able to able to make a profit from trading options by the time he was 10. With all that said, if anyone wants a 6 year old child who is shitty at market strategy, plz adopt me from Eternal Sunny Orphanage in Omaha, Nebraska.
September 2021

WallStreetBets

Am I The Asshole?

Putin had a private screening of Morbius

Vladimir Putin had a private screening of Morbius at the Kremlin. Rumor has it when he walked out, he burst into tears, called up his top generals, and ordered a full withdrawal of Russian troops from Ukraine. He then flew to Kyiv and personally signed a peace treaty with Volodymyr Zelenskyy, pledging the Russian ruble equivalent of $500 billion to the Ukrainian people to help repair damages caused by the war. When asked why he had this sudden change of heart, Putin responded “I have encountered the Morb, and he has Morbed in my heart. I now believe we must all allow ourselves to be Morbed for the sake of world peace.”
June 2022

Morbius

Jeremy of the Marvel Future Fight Team here!

twitchquotes: Hey everyone, Jeremy of the Marvel Future Fight Team here! PermaSmug We are glad to see chat loves the game. You can download it for free for IOS of Andrioid right now and get 500 gems for free! Want to play more? No problem! Just use this 👉 💳 and you may continue!
twitch chat
June 2017
Kripp

sellout

Happy toilet paper

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November 2020

YOU'RE A GIRL GAMER?!

wait, wait, wait.... hold your horses... uhm... YOU'RE A GIRL GAMER?!!?! O_o_O Not to be a freak, but.. just when I thought you couldn't get more attractive.. you started playing video games. Nicely done, m'lady. You've just become every man's dream woman. If you had missed a couple before, now you can be sure you've got us ALL "drooling", lol.
May 2021

Simps

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