[Copypasta] You fool. The statement "It's opposite day" is paradoxical by nature.

You fool. You imbecile. You absolute buffoon. You cannot simply say "I'm gay! It's Opposite Day btw". The statement "It's Opposite Day" is paradoxical by nature. With the logic that everything said during Opposite Day is untrue, saying "It's Opposite Day" on Opposite Day negates that statement. Because the statement "It's Opposite Day" is now untrue, it is no longer Opposite Day and therefore your original remark is now correct. That means it IS opposite day, and a neverending cycle that is known as The Liar's Paradox is created. You were a complete idiot not to invoke the conditional clause. For example, if you were to say, "If it were opposite day, I'd be gay!" your statement would not be holed. You have been snared within a web of your own making. Listen to the sky crack and fall. The universe will implode on itself and it's your own fault.
September 2021
What happened to this ad? :(
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⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⣀⣠⣤⣤⣤⠴⠶⠶⠶⠶⠒⠾⠿⠿⠿⣛⡛⠛⠛⠛⠛⠛⠻⠿⡷⠶⠶⢶⣄⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣤⡾⠟⠛⠉⣉⣩⣤⡴⠦⠭⠥⠒⠒⠒⠒⠒⠒⠒⠒⠂⠤⠀⢀⣀⠈⠑⠢⢀⠑⠀⠀⠙⢿⣄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⣠⡾⠟⠁⣠⡢⠔⢫⠞⣉⣀⡀⠀⠀⠀⠐⠒⠄⠠⠀⠀⠐⡠⢂⡴⠶⠦⢴⡊⠙⠒⠀⠑⠀⠀⠀⠀⠹⣧⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⢠⣿⠀⡠⢊⡫⡀⢀⣤⣞⣡⣼⣿⣦⠀⠐⠉⠱⡤⢢⠦⠀⠀⣰⠋⣀⣤⣴⣿⣿⣆⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠙⠳⢾⣷⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⣼⡏⣰⠁⠠⠪⠿⣟⠩⠉⠀⠀⠈⢻⡧⠄⣴⠞⠁⣣⠖⠀⢰⣧⠞⠁⠀⠠⠍⡻⣼⡆⠀⢀⣀⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠙⣧⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⣴⡾⠟⣽⢋⡒⠦⡢⠐⠀⠄⠒⠲⠶⠖⠋⠀⢸⡇⠀⠀⠙⠀⠀⠘⣷⡀⠤⠤⠀⠀⠀⠉⠛⠻⡍⠀⠐⠉⣉⣗⠦⣄⠘⢿⣦⡀⠀⠀ ⣾⠋⠀⢸⠇⢹⠟⢦⣄⡀⠄⠀⠀⠉⠁⣰⠶⢖⣾⠁⠀⠀⠀⠐⠒⢦⣤⣝⠓⠒⠒⠊⠀⠈⠀⠀⢀⣴⠞⠋⣽⢻⠱⡈⢳⡈⢯⠻⣦⠀ ⣿⠀⡆⠸⣆⢸⡦⡄⠉⠛⠶⣬⣔⡀⠘⠁⢸⡏⠁⠀⠀⠶⢦⣤⡀⠈⡇⠈⠳⠄⠀⢀⠀⠀⣀⡴⢿⠥⣄⣼⠃⡌⠀⢳⠀⢳⠸⡄⠘⣧ ⣿⡀⡇⠀⠈⠷⣇⡗⣦⣠⡀⠈⠙⠛⡿⠶⠾⢿⣶⣶⣶⣶⣀⣀⣁⣀⣁⣀⣠⣤⣿⠿⠟⠛⣉⣀⡏⢀⡿⠁⠰⠀⠀⢸⠀⠀⠀⡇⠀⣿ ⠘⣷⡁⢀⢸⠀⣿⠀⡟⠀⣷⠋⢳⡾⠙⢷⡀⠀⣠⠤⣌⠉⠉⣉⣭⣍⠉⣩⠭⢤⣀⡴⠚⢲⡇⠀⣿⠏⠀⠠⠃⠀⠀⣸⠀⠀⠀⠁⣼⠏ ⠀⠘⣷⢸⠈⡆⣿⣿⣁⢀⠏⠀⢸⡇⠀⠀⢻⣾⠁⠀⠈⢳⣴⠏⠀⠹⣶⠇⠀⠀⢹⡀⣀⣼⣷⡾⠃⢠⠀⢀⠄⠀⠠⠁⠀⠀⣀⣼⠋⠀ ⠀⠀⢸⣿⠀⡇⣿⣿⣿⣿⣤⣄⣼⠃⠀⠀⢸⡟⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⠀⠀⠀⣿⡀⠀⢀⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⠁⢠⠃⠀⠀⠀⡀⠀⠀⢀⣼⠟⠁⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⢸⣿⠀⡇⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣶⣦⣿⣧⣀⣀⣤⣤⣿⣶⣶⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⣫⠄⢀⠂⠀⠀⠀⠀⡄⠀⢠⣿⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⢸⣿⠀⣧⣿⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⣩⠞⠁⡰⠁⠀⠠⠀⠀⡐⠀⢠⡾⠃⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⢸⡇⠀⣿⡟⢀⡟⠀⣿⠋⢻⡿⠻⣿⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⢁⡔⠁⠠⠞⠀⠀⠀⠁⢀⠌⢀⣴⠟⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⣼⠃⡄⢹⣿⡙⢇⣠⡇⠀⣸⠁⢠⠇⠀⢹⠃⢠⠛⠙⡏⠉⣇⣼⠿⢃⡴⠋⠀⠐⠁⠔⠀⠐⠁⣠⣢⣴⠟⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⣿⠀⡇⠸⡿⢷⣄⡀⠙⠒⠳⡤⠼⣄⣀⢼⣀⢾⣀⣸⣶⡾⠟⣁⡴⠋⢀⡠⠒⠁⠀⠀⢀⣤⡾⠟⠉⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⣿⠀⠻⡄⠉⠠⡉⠙⠳⠶⣶⣶⣶⣾⣷⣶⠿⠿⠟⠋⠉⠖⠫⠕⠒⠈⠀⢀⣤⣴⡶⠟⠛⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⢿⡄⠀⠉⠓⠀⠀⠈⠉⠠⠌⠀⠀⠀⣀⠠⠄⠂⠠⠤⠤⠴⠊⠁⣀⣴⡾⠛⠉⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠈⠻⣦⣑⠒⠤⣅⣀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣀⣤⣤⣶⠶⠶⠛⠋⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠙⠛⠶⠶⣤⣭⣭⣭⣭⣴⠶⠶⠛⠛⠉⠉⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
May 2021

Molly

twitchquotes: ༼ つ◕_◕༽つ MOLLY ༼ つ◕_◕༽つ
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June 2014
EtrnlWait

Spits out cereal guy

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣀⣀⣀⣀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡠⠔⠉⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠉⠒⢄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣞⣀⣀⡀⠀⢀⣀⣀⣀⡀⠀⠀⠱⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡌⢾⣿⡇⠀⠀⠰⣿⣷⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⢱⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡇⠀⠉⠀⠀⠀⣠⣬⣵⣤⣄⠀⠀⠀⠙⡄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢣⠀⠀⠀⠴⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⡣⡀⠀⣠⠃⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠳⡀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠉⠉⠉⠁⠂⢁⠞⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠠⢦⣤⣀⡀⠀⠈⠒⠤⣀⣀⡀⣀⣀⠤⠐⠳⣦⣤⣤⣤⠶⠶⠶⢦⣤⡀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠉⠙⠛⠻⠶⠶⠶⠶⠶⠶⠶⠶⠾⡟⠋⠻⣶⡒⠒⠦⠤⡤⡈⢻⡆ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡇⢀⠀⠘⣷⠀⠀⠀⡇⡇⣸⠇ ⠀⠀⠀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣠⣤⣤⣤⣤⣤⣖⣺⢻⣝⣋⣽⣳⣶⣶⣿⣦⡴⣼⢷⡟⠋⠀ ⠛⠛⠛⠉⠉⠉⠉⠉⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠳⣌⠉⠉⠉⣡⠞⠉⠉⠛⠳⢶⣼⢸⠂⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠉⠉⠉⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠙⣿⡀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣠⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣀⣕⡋⠘⠐⠂⡑⠃⠉⢲⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢻⠃⢀⡤⠰⡎⠈⣉⠀⠀⢸⡄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⡀⢀⡎⠀⠠⣀⠀⠈⠉⠁⠠⢄⠈⡗⠲⣤⣤⣀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⢥⣦⠶⣗⢩⣰⢈⢁⠀⣀⠀⠀⢀⠨⢠⠇⠀⢹⢳⡉⣓⣶⣄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⢀⠀⠉⠙⠢⠥⣄⣀⣀⣀⣤⠴⠋⠀⠀⢸⡎⣿⡀⠀⢹⣏⠉⠉⠒⢦⠀ ⠀⠀⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣾⠀⢸⣇⣴⠈⣿⡄⠀⢀⠻⠀ ⣠⠤⠤⠤⠤⠤⠤⠤⠤⠤⠤⠤⠤⠴⣶⣭⣽⣻⣻⣯⣽⣿⣿⣀⣻⡇⠀⠀⡅⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠐⠚⠋⠳⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣠⠞⠃⠀⠀⠉⠉⠉⠙⠓
August 2021

WutFace

⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⠁⣴⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⡄⠄⠉⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠏⢠⣽⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡁⠄⠄⠄⠙⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠉⣤⣭⣋⣻⣋⠙⠛⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢋⣀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠸⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⠄⣛⠛⡉⠩⣭⣍⣷⢮⣤⡉⢧⣀⣀⣈⠉⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⣾⣾⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡀⠸⣦⣤⣤⡀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣽⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣧⢁⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣛⡛⠟⠑⠘⢿⣿⣿⣶⡂⠁⠄⠄⠄⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⡟⠈⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣶⡀⢾⣿⣿⣿⠄⠄⠄⠄⠸⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⡃⠄⢺⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⠉⠉⠩⠤⠄⠁⠄⢻⣿⠋⠄⠄⠄⠄⢀⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣥⠄⠄⠙⣿⣿⡇⡀⢀⣀⣀⡀⠄⠄⢀⣼⣿⠄⠄⠄⠄⣴⣾⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⡄⠄⠠⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡯⠄⠒⢺⣿⠃⠄⠄⠄⣸⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⡀⠄⠛⠻⠿⠿⠿⠿⠟⠟⠄⠄⠼⠋⠄⠄⢀⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣤⡀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣠⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣦⣄⣀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢀⣠⣴⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
November 2018

AITA for not showing up to my own funeral?

So I (74M) was recently hit by a car (2014 Honda) and died. My wife (5F) organized me a funeral (cost $2747) without asking me (74M) at all. I (74M) was unable to make it because I (74M) was dead (17 days). At the funeral I heard my dad (15M) and other family members talking about how they wish I could be there and now I feel bad for not showing up. AITA?
August 2021

AITA

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