[Copypasta] You abhorrent scum. You ignorant fool. I will sue you

You abhorrent scum. You ignorant fool. I will sue you. You are going to be the target of the greatest lawsuit the world has ever seen. You don't know why? It's completely obvious. It's so obvious, the most deplorable peasant could grasp the full magnitude of your wickedness and treachery with the greatest of ease. Your actions cry out for mercy, and I will be happy to deliver it. And if you're thinking this is a mistake, or merely a deception of mine, you're sadly mistaken, my friend. I have indisputable proof of your continued harassment and other offenses. Even without it, the jury would take one look at you and decide. The incomprehensible magnitude of your crimes brings with it unavoidable, infinite guilt, and whether you notice it or not, everyone else does. Are you interested in who will be serving as the offense attorney? I'll tell you. It's my father. Your defense? It doesn't matter, in fact, they might just not give you one even to spare just one individual from the trauma. My father is the greatest lawyer in the US, the world, and human history, including the future, which he knows due to the fact that he sued the future and they travelled back in time to tell him. He's served for hundreds of Supreme Court cases, and he's won every single one. You may have never thought about being court-marshaled, but now, that's a real threat. That is the power of my father, a culmination of flawless, supreme logic and a perfect knowledge of the law. You will lose this case, your money, and your life. Does that scare you, insignificant bug? Because it should. The entire history of the U.S. Judicial System has been leading up to this moment, where all of its fury is concentrated on ruining your life. My father won't even need to help. Your heinous crimes will be evident to all, so just give up, you crook. Give up before you're forced to.
September 2021
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Auto-Pay feature

twitchquotes: Hello Octavian Kripparrian, Marvel Future Fight devs here. We have noticed you have used our "Auto-Play" functionality extensively today, with much better results than when you played the game yourself. Because of this success, we are happy to announce another brand-new feature: "Auto-Pay". We have seen you spend a large amount of time inefficiently upgrading your character, and this time is better spent Auto-Playing. Please click the "Auto-Pay" button, and let your Credit Card do the work!
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Kripp

sellout

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My pasta is really just not salty enough

twitchquotes: Hey Kripp, I just finished writing my most recent copypasta, but it needs something else and I was wondering if you can help. My pasta is really just not salty enough and needs some PJSalt. Pls help me finish my masterpiece.
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โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–‘โ–โ–„โ–€โ–„โ–€โ–„โ–’โ–‘โ–‘โ–’โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–‘โ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–Œโ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–€โ–‘โ–„โ–‘โ–โ–โ–„โ–€โ–„โ–€โ–’โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–‘โ–„โ–€โ–โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–Œโ–‘โ–‘โ–Œโ–‘โ–โ–โ–€โ–„โ–€โ–’โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–’โ–Œโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–โ–‘โ–‘โ–Œโ–„โ–โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–โ–‘โ–โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–โ–‘โ–Œโ–โ–โ–‘โ–โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–Œโ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–Œโ–‘โ–Œโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–Œโ–โ–„โ–€โ–‘โ–€โ–„โ–’โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–€โ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–โ–‘ โ–‘โ–โ–โ–‘โ–Œโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–โ–โ–‘โ–Œโ–„โ–€โ–„โ–€โ–„โ–€โ–„โ–€โ–„โ–€โ–ˆโ–„โ–„โ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–Œ โ–‘โ–Œโ–‘โ–‘โ–Œโ–Œโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–Œโ–‘โ–โ–„โ–€โ–„โ–€โ–„โ–€โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–€โ–„โ–„โ–€ โ–‘โ–โ–‘โ–‘โ–Œโ–Œโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–โ–‘โ–‘โ–Œโ–€โ–„โ–€โ–„โ–€โ–ˆโ–„โ–ˆโ–€โ–ˆโ–€โ–ˆโ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–Œโ–Œโ–‘โ–Œโ–Œโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–Œโ–‘โ–โ–€โ–„โ–€โ–„โ–€โ–„โ–€โ–„โ–ˆโ–„โ–ˆโ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–โ–โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–โ–โ–‘โ–Œโ–„โ–€โ–„โ–€โ–„โ–€โ–„โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–„โ–€โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–Œโ–Œโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–Œโ–Œโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–โ–‘โ–Œโ–€โ–„โ–€โ–„โ–€โ–„โ–€โ–„โ–€โ–‘โ–„โ–โ–„โ–‘โ–‘
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