[Copypasta] You abhorrent scum. You ignorant fool. I will sue you

You abhorrent scum. You ignorant fool. I will sue you. You are going to be the target of the greatest lawsuit the world has ever seen. You don't know why? It's completely obvious. It's so obvious, the most deplorable peasant could grasp the full magnitude of your wickedness and treachery with the greatest of ease. Your actions cry out for mercy, and I will be happy to deliver it. And if you're thinking this is a mistake, or merely a deception of mine, you're sadly mistaken, my friend. I have indisputable proof of your continued harassment and other offenses. Even without it, the jury would take one look at you and decide. The incomprehensible magnitude of your crimes brings with it unavoidable, infinite guilt, and whether you notice it or not, everyone else does. Are you interested in who will be serving as the offense attorney? I'll tell you. It's my father. Your defense? It doesn't matter, in fact, they might just not give you one even to spare just one individual from the trauma. My father is the greatest lawyer in the US, the world, and human history, including the future, which he knows due to the fact that he sued the future and they travelled back in time to tell him. He's served for hundreds of Supreme Court cases, and he's won every single one. You may have never thought about being court-marshaled, but now, that's a real threat. That is the power of my father, a culmination of flawless, supreme logic and a perfect knowledge of the law. You will lose this case, your money, and your life. Does that scare you, insignificant bug? Because it should. The entire history of the U.S. Judicial System has been leading up to this moment, where all of its fury is concentrated on ruining your life. My father won't even need to help. Your heinous crimes will be evident to all, so just give up, you crook. Give up before you're forced to.
September 2021
(▀̿Ĺ̯├┬┴┬┴ Psst... kid, you wanna disable adblock?
More Copypastas

You'll be erasing your foes in no time

twitchquotes: Hey Reynad! Nice to see you streaming again. I see you've decided you want to look like a pencil. Good for you man, follow your dreams. You'll be erasing your foes in no time. Kappa
twitch chat
April 2015
Reynad

Alvin from "Alvin and the Chipmunks" is not a chipmunk

Alvin from "Alvin and the Chipmunks" is not a chipmunk. This is proven by the name "Alvin and the Chipmunks", as you can see, Alvin is separated from the chipmunks, suggesting that Alvin is an entirely different species, making him an "imposter" amongst the others. Also, in "The Chipettes", Brittney has the strongest resemblance to Alvin, so why is it not called "Brittney and the Chipettes". So all that proves that Alvin is not a chipmunk. Not to mention that Alvin wears red, and I'm not sure about you, but that seems awfully sus to me. In the video game "Among us", the color red is was the birth of the obnoxious catchphrase, "red sus", being that the color red in the game is a stereotype that they are the imposter. While that might be unrelated, keep in mind that Alvin wears red too, and he is also the imposter amongst the other chipmunks. So this proves that Alvin is not a chipmunk, or anything like that. Alvin is just a sussy amogus imposter.
October 2021

Danksteed of Infinite Value

twitchquotes: 🐎 If you see this horse while scrolling the chat you have been visited by the danksteed of infinite value. Good trades and prosperity will come to you but only if you copy pasterino this in chat 🐎
twitch chat
September 2015

Hearthstone

Confused DrDisrespect

⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠿⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠛⠉⣉⣀⣀⣈⠉⠻⠿⣿⣿⡿⠿⠿⠿⠿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⠛⠁⣠⣤⣤⣤⣄⠈⠋⠁⠠⣾⡿⠛⠛⣿⣿⡄⠄⠄⠄⠠⣴⣶⣦⣤⡀⠙⢿ ⠃⢰⣿⠿⠛⠛⢿⣿⡇⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢀⣾⡿⠁⠄⠂⠂⠄⠘⠉⠙⠻⣿⣦⠈ ⣦⣤⣀⣀⠈⢠⣿⡿⠁⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢸⣿⡏⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠁⣠⣴⣾⣿⠏⢠ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⠄⠿⠟⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣠⣤⡄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢀⣈⠛⠋⠉⠄⢠⣾ ⣿⣿⣿⡏⠄⢰⣿⣶⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠙⠿⠃⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠿⣿⡇⠄⠄⠄⠄⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⠄⠄⡈⠉⠁⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣿ ⣿⣿⣷⠄⠄⢉⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠐⠦⡘⠿⠿⣿⡿⣧⣀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢀⣿ ⣿⣿⡟⠈⠄⠄⠄⠄⢰⣄⠄⠠⠄⠄⠄⢀⡌⠁⠄⠄⠄⣹⠟⡁⠄⠄⠄⠄⣸⣿ ⣿⣿⠇⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢸⣿⣿⣷⣦⡤⣾⣿⣷⢄⣀⣀⣠⣶⣿⠁⠄⠄⠄⢠⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣤⣶⠄⠄⠄⠄⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠻⢿⠿⢻⣿⣿⣿⣿⡍⠄⠄⠄⣴⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⠄⠄⠄⠄⠘⣿⣿⡟⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠉⠛⠻⣿⣿⠁⠄⠄⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣯⣉⣀⠄⠄⠄⠄⢿⣿⣆⣼⣿⠲⠲⠶⢦⣄⡀⠻⡏⠄⠄⠰⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡄⠠⠄⠄⠄⠻⢝⠿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣶⠟⢃⡄⠁⠄⠄⠸⣾⡿⣿⣿⣿ ⡿⠟⠛⠉⠁⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠈⠉⠁⠚⠋⠁⠄⠄⠄⠄⠒⠿⣿⣿⣿
May 2020
DrDisRespectLIVE

Babbling book is quickly becoming one of my favorite cards

twitchquotes: Babbling book is quickly becoming one of my favorite cards. It's just so positive and generous. Practically costs nothing at all at one mana you drop him on the board and that chill ass mofo gives you a spell to use later in the game. And you also get this adorable little 1/1 can ping things but usually is too harmless to be removed. But more than the BB is just so positive. It comes on the board like "do you want to cast a spell?" and I'm like "yeah BB i do want to cast a spell let's do this shit" and when he attacks he's like "SPELLS ARE FUN" and I'm like "yeah they are SO FUN." He doesn't say some bullshit macho shit like "I will destroy you" he's just like "nah spells are fun." And it looks so happy. I mean this is an inanimate object literally brought to life by magic. It understands it's life is a temporary magical gift and the dude is just fucking loving it. I mean look at his face he's just so happy. I am literally never sad when babbling book is on board. IDK if he's gonna make it into the metagame or not but for now he (or she) a pretty chill card
twitch chat
December 2016

Classic

Hearthstone

Text-to-Speech Playing