[Copypasta] You abhorrent scum. You ignorant fool. I will sue you

You abhorrent scum. You ignorant fool. I will sue you. You are going to be the target of the greatest lawsuit the world has ever seen. You don't know why? It's completely obvious. It's so obvious, the most deplorable peasant could grasp the full magnitude of your wickedness and treachery with the greatest of ease. Your actions cry out for mercy, and I will be happy to deliver it. And if you're thinking this is a mistake, or merely a deception of mine, you're sadly mistaken, my friend. I have indisputable proof of your continued harassment and other offenses. Even without it, the jury would take one look at you and decide. The incomprehensible magnitude of your crimes brings with it unavoidable, infinite guilt, and whether you notice it or not, everyone else does. Are you interested in who will be serving as the offense attorney? I'll tell you. It's my father. Your defense? It doesn't matter, in fact, they might just not give you one even to spare just one individual from the trauma. My father is the greatest lawyer in the US, the world, and human history, including the future, which he knows due to the fact that he sued the future and they travelled back in time to tell him. He's served for hundreds of Supreme Court cases, and he's won every single one. You may have never thought about being court-marshaled, but now, that's a real threat. That is the power of my father, a culmination of flawless, supreme logic and a perfect knowledge of the law. You will lose this case, your money, and your life. Does that scare you, insignificant bug? Because it should. The entire history of the U.S. Judicial System has been leading up to this moment, where all of its fury is concentrated on ruining your life. My father won't even need to help. Your heinous crimes will be evident to all, so just give up, you crook. Give up before you're forced to.
September 2021
I used to be a real ad
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⠄⠄⠄⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⡄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⣰⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⢾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⡄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⣀⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⢻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⢿⠿⠿⠢⡈⠻⠿⢿⡿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡆⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⢨⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⡆⠄⠄⠄⠄⠙⠳⣦⣌⣉⡛⠻⠿⠿⢏⡀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣁⠄⢀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠙⣻⣿⣿⣧⡀⠄⠈⠑⠢⢀⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠈⠉⠋⠙⣿⣿⠉⠠⡲⣶⠢⠄⠄⠄⡄⢾⢛⣿⣯⢽⣿⣷⣄⠄⠄⠄⠈⠒ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢀⣿⣿⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠈⣕⠘⠋⢸⡇⠈⠛⠿⢿⣷⣦⡀⠄⢀ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠘⣿⣿⣆⡀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣀⡍⣀⣀⡰⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠙⢯⣿⣿⣿ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠹⣿⣿⣧⠗⡚⠚⠄⠄⠙⢿⢟⡿⠁⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠈⠁⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠉⢿⣿⡀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢼⡞⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠈⢻⣇⠄⠄⠤⠤⠴⡿⠁⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠙⠳⣤⡤⠤⠶⠃⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄
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NA, aka "Not Advancing"

twitchquotes: NA, aka "Not Advancing" is a region known for their brief yearly appearance in the group stage of worlds, where they manage to disappoint despite having zero expectations
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October 2019
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Greggnog

First off: I am not joking. I wish I was joking. I've been with my wonderful boyfriend Greg for over 4 years now, and this Christmas was our third spent together. He's so much fun to be around, handsome, charming, and our sex life is great. Except for one small problem. Every year now starting in December he starts referring to his cum as "Greggnog." When I first heard him say this, it was in the context of a joke, so I laughed, and then I forgot about it. A few days after this, we're exchanging some spicy texts before he gets home from work he says to me, in all seriousness, "I can't wait to pour Greggnog all over your face." I could not believe he just said that to me, but I didn't know what else to do at the time but go along with it. Fast forward to this December. This phrase re-enters his vocabulary at the same time every year. It makes me cringe beyond belief, but until this year he used it sparingly enough for me to just be able to laugh and say "shut the fuck up." I'm sure that 2020 has done at least some irreparable psychic damage to all people, but unfortunately, for my boyfriend, this has manifested in the form of him referring to his cum as "Greggnog" non-stop. This month he has been using the term almost exclusively, in all contexts, and it is driving me batshit insane. I sat him down to talk last week, and I asked him very clearly and directly to stop. At the time, he said he would, and it did slow down for a few days, but it is now four days after Christmas and he's back at it again with no end in sight. He absolutely means the world to me, and I saw myself spending the rest of my life with him, but I have serious doubts now whether or not I can if every Christmas is going to be like this. So please, reddit, what do I do to make this stop for good?
December 2020

Classic

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