[Copypasta] You abhorrent scum. You ignorant fool. I will sue you

You abhorrent scum. You ignorant fool. I will sue you. You are going to be the target of the greatest lawsuit the world has ever seen. You don't know why? It's completely obvious. It's so obvious, the most deplorable peasant could grasp the full magnitude of your wickedness and treachery with the greatest of ease. Your actions cry out for mercy, and I will be happy to deliver it. And if you're thinking this is a mistake, or merely a deception of mine, you're sadly mistaken, my friend. I have indisputable proof of your continued harassment and other offenses. Even without it, the jury would take one look at you and decide. The incomprehensible magnitude of your crimes brings with it unavoidable, infinite guilt, and whether you notice it or not, everyone else does. Are you interested in who will be serving as the offense attorney? I'll tell you. It's my father. Your defense? It doesn't matter, in fact, they might just not give you one even to spare just one individual from the trauma. My father is the greatest lawyer in the US, the world, and human history, including the future, which he knows due to the fact that he sued the future and they travelled back in time to tell him. He's served for hundreds of Supreme Court cases, and he's won every single one. You may have never thought about being court-marshaled, but now, that's a real threat. That is the power of my father, a culmination of flawless, supreme logic and a perfect knowledge of the law. You will lose this case, your money, and your life. Does that scare you, insignificant bug? Because it should. The entire history of the U.S. Judicial System has been leading up to this moment, where all of its fury is concentrated on ruining your life. My father won't even need to help. Your heinous crimes will be evident to all, so just give up, you crook. Give up before you're forced to.
September 2021
I used to be a real ad
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Born perfectly to explore dank memes

twitchquotes: Born too late to explore the Earth, born too early to explore the universe, born perfectly to explore dank memes โ—• อœ ส– อก อกโ—•
twitch chat
January 2015

Classic

Top Lel

โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–€โ–€โ–Œโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–€โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–„โ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–„โ–€โ–โ–Œโ–‘โ–โ–Œโ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–„โ–€โ–€โ–Œโ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–€โ–€โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–„โ–„โ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–„โ–€โ–€โ–Œโ–„โ–ˆโ–Œโ–Œโ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–€โ–€โ–„โ–„โ–โ–’โ–Œโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–โ–€โ–„โ–ˆโ–€โ–€โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–Œโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–€โ–€โ–Œโ–‘โ–โ–โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–Œโ–’โ–„โ–โ–’โ–Œโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–โ–€โ– โ–โ–€โ–„โ–ˆโ–Œโ–Œโ–‘โ–โ–โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–โ–’โ–Œโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–„โ–ˆโ– โ–โ–โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–Œโ–Œโ–‘โ–โ–โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–€โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–Œโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–€โ– โ–โ–โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–Œโ–Œโ–‘โ–โ–โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–’โ–„โ–โ–’โ–Œโ–ˆโ–€โ–„โ–„โ–€โ–€ โ–โ–โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–Œโ–Œโ–€โ–โ–โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–โ–’โ–„โ–„โ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–โ–โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–Œโ–„โ–ˆโ–โ–โ–ˆโ–€โ–€โ–„โ–„โ–€โ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–โ–โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–€โ–โ–„โ–„โ–€โ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–โ–โ–ˆโ–€โ–€โ–„โ–€โ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–โ–„โ–„โ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘
ascii art
November 2014

Memes are a very important issue that we face everyday

twitchquotes: I'm here to speak with you about a very important issue that we in the LoL community face everyday, memes. Memes are infiltrating our ranked queues. Memes are infiltrating our in-houses. Memes are raping our mothers and killing our fathers. The World Health Organization has traced the source to a subset of extremely toxic streamers. This group of streamers is led by the one called imaqtpie. If you ever come in contact with imaqtpie, please do a 360 and moonwalk away from his stream. Unfollow and unsubscribe. If you do this, we may still have a chance. I dream of a future where LoL is played in parks and playgrounds, in office and student lounges, and even in the bedroom, completely free of memes. Please support our cause and no pasterini
twitch chat
January 2015
imaqtpie

League of Legends

A severe lack of cute emotes in chat

twitchquotes: Konichiwa Kripp-kun AYAYA . This is your kawaii kouhai Aya-chan, calling in from Nihon. I have noticed a severe lack of cute emotes in chat tonight, and instead all I see are baka dansgame and baka nammers. This is not very sugoi, and I would appreciate it if your chat showed more respect for Japanese culture by typing kawaii emotes like AYAYA and AstolfoSmile . Arigato gozaimasu <3
twitch chat
February 2019
Kripp

Weebs

Classic

Trent from high school

twitchquotes: Hey [insert streamer name here] this is Trent from highschool. Remember that girl you liked, Jessica? Yeah we're married now. Sucks for you wasting your life away playing stupid video games. I have a big job in a huge company, a beautiful wife, two kids, and a nice car. What do you have huh? A PC? HA! I own five of those. And your chat is stupid. Bye loser!
twitch chat
January 2019

Tanner from High School

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