[Copypasta] as a person who has lots of sex all the time

as a person who has lots of sex all the time, i can say that this game is 100% accurate to having sex with sexy women. like i do. everyday. this game did not make me horny however. i am not gay. i just have too much sex with real women to spend more than 15 minutes in this game. on the other hand i would recommend this game to people who do not have sex (unlike me because i have lots of sex with women a lot) as there is a naked woman in it and she is naked. she kinda looks like one of my many girlfriends who i have sex with a lot. i have lots of sex. i also an very handsome and women ALWAYS want to have sex with me because i am very muscular and handsome and very good at video games. all my girlfriends say im very good at sex and playing video games and being handsome. one of my girlfriends asked me to have sex with her but i told her i was playing a sex game instead so she started crying and became a lesbian and killed herself because i did not have sex with her. i have sex with women. not men. i am not gay. i am very cool and handsome so girls always have sex with me because i am very cool and sexy. my penis is very big. all my girlfriends like my penis because it is very big and i am very good at sex with my women. every woman ive had sex with is very sexy and so am i. i have lots of sex. i am also very handsome and sexy and i have lots of sex.
September 2021
I used to be a real ad
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Response to somebody correcting a grammar mistake

Give it up folks, einstein over here has something to say. What's that buddy? Wha- A grammatical error?!? WHAT?!? B... Bu... That can't be possible! Surely not! A GRAMMAR MISTAKE? IN MY SIGHT?!? What a great, absolute miracle that you and your 257 IQ Brain was here to correct it! Thank you! Have my grattitude, Actually, What's your cashapp? I'd like to give you 20$... Know what? While we're at it have the keys to my car. Actually, no, scratch that. Have the keys to my house, go watch my kids grow up and fuck my wife. Also, my Paypal username and password is: Ilikesmartazzes4 and 968386329. Go have fun. Thank you for your work.
May 2021

乇乂ㄒ尺卂 丂山口乚口

twitchquotes: In japan we don't say 'I love Star Wars' we say 乇乂ㄒ尺卂 丂山口乚口 which doesn't mean anything it just spells out 'I wanna fuck Ben Swolo' in japanese symbols.
twitch chat
January 2018

My dad works at twitch dude

twitchquotes: My dad works at twitch dude, he's a sr Vice President, and he oversees players accounts. If you don't unban me, I'll make sure he gets both you and majinphil permabanned. But if you unban me, I'll make sure you fit in the algorithms to always be in people's recommended feed. Your choice.
twitch chat
December 2018

Hey Kripp-kun. It's me Samantha-chan!

twitchquotes: H-hey Kripp-kun. It's me Samantha-chan! I know you don't know me that well, I sit in the column closest to the door and in the back row. Oh yeah, duh... LoL, we have Chemistry together with Ms. Raphatello. Ughh, she's such a b****! Anyways I'm being such a baka (LoL that's Japanese for idiot!). Oh, do you like Anime too? I'm sure if you gave it a chance you would too if you don't already watch it ~_~. I always look at you in Chemistry and you never seem to notice me... BAHHH WHAT AM I DOING?!?! GOMENASAI Artour-kun (gomenasai means sorry in Japanese ^.^). Just wanted to say hello and I really love your stream! Good luck Kripp-kun!
twitch chat
October 2014
Kripp

Weebs

Classic

My Grandfather smoked his whole life

My Grandfather smoked his whole life. I was about 10 years old when my mother said to him, 'If you ever want to see your grandchildren graduate, you have to stop immediately.'. Tears welled up in his eyes when he realized what exactly was at stake. He gave it up immediately. Three years later he died of lung cancer. It was really sad and destroyed me. My mother said to me- 'Don't ever smoke. Please don't put your family through what your Grandfather put us through." I agreed. At 28, I have never touched a cigarette. I must say, I feel a very slight sense of regret for never having done it, because your post gave me cancer anyway.
March 2021

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Text-to-Speech Playing