[Copypasta] I'm better than professional valorant players

Wait, these are PROFESSIONAL valorant players? I'm better than all of them and I'm in bronze. I purposely empty my vandal clip down to 1 bullet because I kill all my opponents with 1 tap ease. Tenz looks like he could use some lessons from me directly. I'm bronze by the way.
August 2021

Valorant

(β–€ΜΏΔΉΜ―β”œβ”¬β”΄β”¬β”΄ Psst... kid, you wanna disable adblock?
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EU also known as "Easily Upset"

twitchquotes: EU also known as "Easily Upset" is the most overhyped region at Masters 2. Since they gave up on winning the event, they are investing in speedruns. They are current world record holders in fastest map lost and Airport Any %
twitch chat
June 2021

EU vs NA

Valorant

Valorant fanfic

twitchquotes: "Your aim is insane." Steel said, as he slipped his feminine hand into Hiko's pants and smirked. "Are you trying to spray me?" protests Hiko, as Steel blushes, the boyish figure undressed before Hiko. "Weak ass eco play, Steel." The two kissed, deeply and passionately, and afterwards Hiko dropped his Sova arrow into Steel's open bombsite.
twitch chat
October 2021
Hiko

Valorant

Last week I saw Wardell while in line at the bank

twitchquotes: Last week I saw Wardell while in line at the bank. He was wearing 13 rolexes and a chain made out of protein powder so I asked how he had so much money. He said "WATCH THIS", pulled out a glock and robbed the bank for $31,203. Then he double updrafted and dashed out of the store...
twitch chat
June 2021
WARDELL

Valorant

This player doesn't even use a monitor

I've seen [insert player here] play, he doesn't even use a monitor. He visualizes the map in a detailed rendering, completely in his mind. He has a biological wallhack; his godlike perception highlights all enemies within light-years. His eyes are closed as his mouse gracefully swerves across the table, making immaculate twitches as he flicks from head to head. The bullets that escape his gun barrel are surgical; each making a deadly strike in between his opponent's eyes.
July 2022

CSGO

Valorant

I spotted Wardell shopping at my local IKEA

twitchquotes: Earlier today, I spotted Wardell shopping at my local IKEA. He looks very depressed and I asked him, "Whats wrong" He took out 5 Jett knives and said, "WATCH THIS" and carved the furniture into statues of him. He was arrested shortly after.
twitch chat
June 2021
WARDELL

Valorant

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