[Copypasta] I want to bang Timmy Nook from Animal Crossing

Holy fucking shit. I want to bang Timmy Nook from Animal Crossing so goddamn bad. I can't stand it anymore. Every time I go to Nook’s Cranny I get a massive erection. I've seen literally every rule 34 post there is of him online. My dreams are nothing but constant fucking sex with Timmy Nook. I'm sick of waking up every morning with six nuts in my boxers and knowing that those are nuts that should've been busted inside of Timmy Nook’s tight tanuki asshole. I want him to have my mutant human/tanuki babies. Fuck, my fucking mom caught me with a raccoon I found in the trash. I'd dressed him in my dad’s Hawaiian shirt and went to fucking town. She hasn't said a word to me in 10 hours and I'm worried she's gonna take away my Nintendo Switch. I might not ever get to see Timmy Nook again.
July 2021
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas

Thats why this place is so special.

Listen 5 years ago I wanted to get into investing. I came to this sub to get some advice. One guy helped me with a stock I could invest in. It was dipping for a few days and I kept asking what I should do and he said hold. Kept quoting Warren buffet On the third day I panicked and told him I had to sell. He sent me a video and told me to watch it before I sold. It was a guy getting railed by jpow. I lost 400 dollars that day but it taught me some lessons. Now look at me. Been investing for over 3 years now. I was even on this gme thing. Yeah I could of made 8x the profits instead of 4 but I consider that my own fault. But through this great sub and everything I have learned, I reinvested my profits and as of today I am down 5 grand. Thats why this place is so special.
February 2021

WallStreetBets

GME bank consultation

Short story-time for amusement reasons only: some days ago, I went to my bank (Austria). I am the owner of quite a number of GME shares and my broker app is actually just the bank-intern bond trading app, where I need to pay transactional feed everytime I buy (what is sell?) GME shares. I informed myself about the reasoning of those transactional fees beforehand and found out that by paying them, I have the right of consultation by my bank about the shares they‘re trading/I‘m buying. So, I went to the main national building of my bank, they were really friendly at the beginning, enthustiatically, I mentioned GME to them and that I wish for professional consultation about the financial details involved with that stock (I am not a financial guy, actually, I don‘t exactly know what‘s going on, it‘s all pretty crazy to me). Suddenly, their posture and mimick changed pretty suddenly. I was told, they are not allowed to consult about GME. To my question, why this was the case, they told me, because GME is „too irrelevant for the big stock market“. They are „aware of the past short squeeze, but one should no longer focus on GME“. They acted as if GME was some „childish financial playground“ that should be forgotten about. When I confronted them with the huge recent naked short attacks and if they could explain to me possible effects of them if they were not covered, they just repeated themselves how „GME is not relevant, please focus on stocks like Apple or Amazon to be safe“. I left the bank, buying more GME shares.
April 2021

WallStreetBets

An exceedingly excellent "your mother" joke

Greetings. My name is Beef, and today I would like to present an exceedingly excellent "your mother" joke. I will now begin. Your biological mother is so morbidly obese, when she went to go get her yearly physical done, the doctor took her blood and the results concluded that she had a high blood pressure, onset type 2 diabetes, hypertension and the possibility of heart disease. She also suffers from severe depression, because she lacks confidence in her physical appearance, which enables her to consume even more food, making her more obese. Not to mention, but your mother is becoming so monstrous, she had a hard time fitting through small spaces and exceeding weight limits on practical applications. Your mother has an endless cycle of malicious eating habits that only make her health worsen over time. I hope whoever has just read this enjoyed the humorous "your mother" joke. Thank you for your time, and have a blessed day.
April 2022

Plants Vs Zombies Review

This game much bad! My son saw this game and told me,"daddy this game i much want, buy for me please." So I buy it for him. But little later, he come to me and say, "daddy this game much scary." I look at it and it say "Zombies eat your brains!!!" And to me was shock. How can this game be for kids? This game has plants, violins and zombies eat your vegetables! Zombies eat no vegetable, my son eat vegetable! Now my son is in hospital and taking pills for his shock. Thanking you for nothing EA games. I rate this gate 16 and over! You have being warninged!
April 2022

Crazy anime girl

⠄⠄⣠⠞⠁⢠⡞⣡⡴⠟⠋⠁⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠉⠉⠛⠓⠶⣤⣙⢦⡙⢦⡀⠄⠄ ⢀⡔⠁⠄⣰⣿⠟⠁⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠈⠛⢿⣆⠙⡄⠄ ⠋⠄⠄⣼⡟⠁⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠙⢷⡜⣆ ⠄⠄⣴⠏⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣀⣶⡀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣹⡏ ⢤⣰⠏⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢀⢀⣄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣸⠟⣿⣿⣦⡀⠄⠄⠄⣿⠉ ⠄⣼⣠⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢠⣿⣼⣉⣷⣤⡀⠄⠄⠄⣼⠏⠄⠹⠄⠙⣿⣦⠄⠄⣿⠄ ⠄⠛⡿⣧⠄⠄⢀⣴⠋⠿⠋⠻⣦⣝⠻⣦⣤⡾⢃⣠⡴⠆⠄⢸⠟⣿⣷⣄⡇⠄ ⠄⠄⡇⠹⣦⣀⣼⡇⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢙⣻⣶⣿⣟⠛⠉⠄⠄⠄⢸⠄⡟⠘⠿⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⡇⠄⣿⢿⡇⣷⠄⠄⣠⣴⠾⠛⠋⠁⠈⠙⠛⠶⣤⡄⠄⢸⠄⢻⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⢠⠇⠄⣿⣸⡇⡇⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢸⡀⢸⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⢸⠄⢸⣿⣿⡇⡇⠄⠄⠄⢠⡄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢀⡀⠄⠄⢸⡇⢸⡄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⢸⠄⣾⣿⣿⡇⣧⡀⠄⠄⠄⢿⣄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢀⡾⠃⠄⠄⣸⠃⠄⡇⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⡟⢀⣿⣿⣿⠇⣿⣷⣄⡀⠄⠄⠛⠷⢦⣴⠶⠟⠁⠄⣠⣾⣇⠄⠄⣿⠄⠄⠄ ⢠⡇⢸⣿⣿⣿⢠⣿⣿⣿⡟⠲⢤⣀⡀⠄⠄⣀⣠⣴⣿⣿⣿⣿⠄⠄⢻⡇⠄⠄ ⣼⣤⣿⣿⣿⣿⣼⣿⣿⣿⣧⣤⣤⣤⣭⣽⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣤⣤⣼⣿⣤⣤
January 2019

Weebs

Text-to-Speech Playing