Holy fucking shit. I want to bang Timmy Nook from Animal Crossing so goddamn bad. I can't stand it anymore. Every time I go to Nook’s Cranny I get a massive erection. I've seen literally every rule 34 post there is of him online. My dreams are nothing but constant fucking sex with Timmy Nook. I'm sick of waking up every morning with six nuts in my boxers and knowing that those are nuts that should've been busted inside of Timmy Nook’s tight tanuki asshole. I want him to have my mutant human/tanuki babies.
Fuck, my fucking mom caught me with a raccoon I found in the trash. I'd dressed him in my dad’s Hawaiian shirt and went to fucking town. She hasn't said a word to me in 10 hours and I'm worried she's gonna take away my Nintendo Switch. I might not ever get to see Timmy Nook again.
What happened to this ad? :(
More Copypastas
I deserve challenjour
twitchquotes:
qt how do i get out of elo hell ive been bronze 5 for 3 years now i main janna adc and i build 5 spirit visages but i keep dying to the golems even when i use smite i know i deserve challenjour so pls help me out senpai masteronii
twitch chat
imaqtpie
League of Legends
Ok that’s enough, sell your items
twitchquotes:
📞 
Hello Rookie 📞 KT here 📞 Ok that’s enough, sell your items 📞
Hello Rookie 📞 KT here 📞 Ok that’s enough, sell your items 📞
twitch chat
Riot Games
League of Legends
I orgasmed during an online zoom class
Fuck this is so embarrassing. I'm literally shaking so hard rn. So like the randy horny mf I am, I was jerking off and edging myself before one of my online classes. Then the class started so I joined. Our teacher's pretty strict and all and expects cameras on at all times. So I just sat there whilst everyone joined, still horny as hell. I had my dick pressed between my legs still. Teacher's going round asking us how the weekend went yada yada. So now it's my turn to speak. I unmute my mic to say my stuff and whilst I'm talking I squeeze my legs a little too hard and come hard as fuck causing to me to literally moan LIKE A FUCKING WHALE and make my horrid contorted orgasm face RIGHT ON FUCKING CAMERA WITH MY MIC UNMUTED WHILST THE ENTIRE CLASS OF 40 STUDENTS ARE WATCHING. LET'S NOT EVEN FORGET THAT MY FACE WAS FULL-SCREEN WHILST I WAS SPEAKING. In a total crazy panic, I leave the class.
I'm dropping that class asap. No, scratch that. Dropping out of college altogether. No way can I go back there again. Might as well drop off this earth while I'm at it.
Navy Seals Copypasta in Middle English
Bi God’s bons, hwat didest thou seien of min, thou litel cunte? Thou shalt knouen ich was gradūāten best in min classe in soldierie, and ich was in mani-fold skekeries on the Frenshe men, and I hawe more than thre hundred slaghs that ben verried. Ich am expertful in mancowe militaunce, and ich am the best longe-boue archer in all the Englisch hoste. Thou are nout to min but a newe marke. Ich wille thee sottili renden, semble-wise was neverte beholden; par fei! Thou think thou canst afforthe to speken that shite ouer the “Internet”? Think-agen, churl! as we speken nou, ich am spēking wit minen aspīeris in all of Engellonde, and thin estre bith spīen aboute noue, thus thou shalt fore-dighten before the storm, maddok! The storm that wille shenden that spītǒus frivōl thou namest “thine lif”. Thou art ded, childe. Ich can ben ought-wher, ought-tym, and ich can slen thou with ouer seven hundred methodes, and all bar-handed!
Ich am not only expertful in bar-handed baratri, but ich haue infare to the pleine armurie of the host of engelonde, and ich wille emploien hit for slen thine spitous arse, mandrake mymmerkin. If only thou cǒuthest hauen knouen what unblessed pūnīciǒun thine littel “gleu” glose was about to cause, parchaunce thou hauen holden thine tǒng stille. But thou cǒuthest nout, thou didest nout, and now thou paien for hit, thou simpleton. Ich wille casten oute furour upon thee, and thou wille senchen in hit. Thou art utterly ded, mannikin.
Navy Seal
In Twitch Chat they don't say I love you
twitchquotes:
In Twitch Chat they don't say "I love you", instead they say "OMEGALUL" which translates to "I watch you to not laugh with you, but at you" and I think that's really beautiful.
twitch chat