[Copypasta] I want to bang Timmy Nook from Animal Crossing

Holy fucking shit. I want to bang Timmy Nook from Animal Crossing so goddamn bad. I can't stand it anymore. Every time I go to Nook’s Cranny I get a massive erection. I've seen literally every rule 34 post there is of him online. My dreams are nothing but constant fucking sex with Timmy Nook. I'm sick of waking up every morning with six nuts in my boxers and knowing that those are nuts that should've been busted inside of Timmy Nook’s tight tanuki asshole. I want him to have my mutant human/tanuki babies. Fuck, my fucking mom caught me with a raccoon I found in the trash. I'd dressed him in my dad’s Hawaiian shirt and went to fucking town. She hasn't said a word to me in 10 hours and I'm worried she's gonna take away my Nintendo Switch. I might not ever get to see Timmy Nook again.
July 2021
(β–€ΜΏΔΉΜ―β”œβ”¬β”΄β”¬β”΄ Psst... kid, you wanna disable adblock?
More Copypastas

Not a weeb thing

twitchquotes: β€˜not a weeb thing’. try living a day in my shoes, walking around terrified of encountering normal people everywhere i go. wherever i look, people with tv show merch, people speaking english. it makes me and millions of other weebs out there feel really attacked.
twitch chat
February 2019

Weebs

Donger Song

twitchquotes: I like to raise my Donger I do it all the time γƒ½ΰΌΌΰΊˆΩ„ΝœΰΊˆΰΌ½οΎ‰ and every time its loweredβ”ŒΰΌΌΰΊˆΩ„ΝœΰΊˆΰΌ½β” I cry and start to whine β”ŒΰΌΌ@Ω„Νœ@༽┐But never need to worry ΰΌΌ ΒΊΩ„ΝŸΒΊΰΌ½ my Donger's staying strong γƒ½ΰΌΌΰΊˆΩ„ΝœΰΊˆΰΌ½οΎ‰A Donger saved is a Donger earned so sing the Donger song! α•¦ΰΌΌΰΊˆΩ„ΝœΰΊˆΰΌ½α•€
twitch chat
March 2014
Kripp

Own a musket for home defense

twitchquotes: Own a musket for home defense, since that's what the founding fathers intended. Four ruffians break into my house. "What the devil?" As I grab my powdered wig and Kentucky rifle. Blow a golf ball sized hole through the first man, he's dead on the spot. Draw my pistol on the second man, miss him entirely because it's smoothbore and nails the neighbors dog. I have to resort to the cannon mounted at the top of the stairs loaded with grape shot, "Tally ho lads" the grape shot shreds two men in the blast, the sound and extra shrapnel set off car alarms. Fix bayonet and charge the last terrified rapscallion. He Bleeds out waiting on the police to arrive since triangular bayonet wounds are impossible to stitch up. Just as the founding fathers intended.
twitch chat
August 2019

Why won't my sister french kiss me?

Why won't my sister french kiss me? I have a date this weekend and I have never kissed a girl. Anyways I asked my sister nicely if shed let me practice french kissing with her. She slapped me and locked herself in her room. I screamed that she was the only girl I could practice with and she was being selfish. She got scared and called the cops. Plus she told her boyfriend and he wants to kick my ass. WTF is wrong with my sister. I hate her so much
July 2022

Confessions

Scary face

β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–„β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–“β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–“β–“β–“β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–’β–’β–’β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–“β–“β–‘β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–’β–’β–’β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–“β–“β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–ˆβ–ˆβ–„β–„β–„β–„β–‘β–‘β–‘β–„β–„β–„β–„β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–“β–“β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–ˆβ–ˆβ–‘(◐)β–‘β–‘β–‘β–’(◐)β–’β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–“β–“β–‘ β–‘β–ˆβ–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–“β–“β–‘ β–‘β–ˆβ–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–€β–„β–„β–€β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–“β–“β–‘ β–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–„β–ˆβ–„β–ˆβ–„β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–‘β–ˆβ–’β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–“β–“β–‘ β–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–€β–ˆβ–€β–ˆβ–€β–ˆβ–‘β–ˆβ–€β–€β–’β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–“β–‘ β–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–€β–„β–ˆβ–„β–ˆβ–„β–ˆβ–„β–€β–’β–’β–’β–’β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–“β–‘ β–‘β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–’β–“β–“β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–“β–‘ β–‘β–“β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–’β–„β–„β–„β–„β–’β–’β–’β–’β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–‘ β–‘β–“β–“β–ˆβ–ˆβ–’β–“β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–‘
November 2014
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