Holy fucking shit. I want to bang Timmy Nook from Animal Crossing so goddamn bad. I can't stand it anymore. Every time I go to Nook’s Cranny I get a massive erection. I've seen literally every rule 34 post there is of him online. My dreams are nothing but constant fucking sex with Timmy Nook. I'm sick of waking up every morning with six nuts in my boxers and knowing that those are nuts that should've been busted inside of Timmy Nook’s tight tanuki asshole. I want him to have my mutant human/tanuki babies.
Fuck, my fucking mom caught me with a raccoon I found in the trash. I'd dressed him in my dad’s Hawaiian shirt and went to fucking town. She hasn't said a word to me in 10 hours and I'm worried she's gonna take away my Nintendo Switch. I might not ever get to see Timmy Nook again.
What happened to this ad? :(
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Doraemon
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why are you gay
"why are you gay"
i dont know.. one day i woke up and saw a mans ass, then i bit my lip and then he turned around and bit his lip too. then we fucked all night and forgot to say no homo, but he was fine with it. since then we've been fucking everyday, he's really vocal in bed and i love having fun with him 😏😏😏 so thats why im gay. im pretty sure his name is [ur dads name here] he's really good in bed.
Police clearing out a homeless encampment
On my way into the office today I saw the police clearing out a homeless encampment under a bridge, forcing them into the cold and rain. I keep playing it over in my head and haven’t been able to focus on work all day because of my erection.
WallStreetBets
When Tim Hortons... all becoming Canada
twitchquotes:
ｗｈｅｎ ｔｉｍ ｈｏｒｔｏｎｓ， ｍｙ ｈａｎｄ ａｕｔｏｍａｔｉｃａｌｌｙ ｇｏ ｔｏ ｔｈｅ ｍａｐｌｅ ｇｌａzｅｄ． ｉ ｄｉｐ ｔｈｅ ｄｏｕｇｈｎｕｔｅｒｉｎｏｓ ａｎｄ ｆｅｅｌ ｉ ｈａｖｅ ｓｅｘ ｗｉｔｈ ｔｈｅ ｈｏｃｋｅｙ， ａｌｌ ｂｅｃｏｍｉｎｇ ｃａｎａｄａ ｅｈ? ｓｏｒｒｙ
twitch chat
Kripp
Saronite Chain Gang is my least favorite card
twitchquotes:
Saronite Chain Gang is quickly becoming one of my least favorite cards. It's just so hopeless and suffering. It comes on the board like "How long can this go on?" and I'm like "yeah SCG this torture is eternal" and when he attacks he's like "FREE ME" and I'm like "yeah if only I could." He doesn't say some positive bullshit like "spells are fun" he's just like "nah end this." And it looks so frustrated.
twitch chat