[Copypasta] I want to bang Timmy Nook from Animal Crossing

Holy fucking shit. I want to bang Timmy Nook from Animal Crossing so goddamn bad. I can't stand it anymore. Every time I go to Nook’s Cranny I get a massive erection. I've seen literally every rule 34 post there is of him online. My dreams are nothing but constant fucking sex with Timmy Nook. I'm sick of waking up every morning with six nuts in my boxers and knowing that those are nuts that should've been busted inside of Timmy Nook’s tight tanuki asshole. I want him to have my mutant human/tanuki babies. Fuck, my fucking mom caught me with a raccoon I found in the trash. I'd dressed him in my dad’s Hawaiian shirt and went to fucking town. She hasn't said a word to me in 10 hours and I'm worried she's gonna take away my Nintendo Switch. I might not ever get to see Timmy Nook again.
July 2021
(▀̿Ĺ̯├┬┴┬┴ Psst... kid, you wanna disable adblock?
More Copypastas

Bear King Burry vs TSLA

Bear King Michael Burry in the ring, slappin TSLA with a metal chair. His glass eye open wide with rage as he batters TSLA relentlessly. "The valuation..." crunch "makes...." crunch "NO.... " crunch "SENSE!" he roars with maniacal autistic glee. TSLA struggles for the edge of the ring, but coughs blood as each hit lands, and eventually stops moving. Bear King Burry drops the chair. Bear King Burry turns to the crowd "Was this your champion!? Was TSLA supposed to be your chosen one!?" A child in the crowd turns his face into his mother's side and cries. On the side of the ring WSB can barely move. TSLA was supposed to tag them in, but couldn't make it to the side in time. "Get up TSLA" WSB whimpers hopelessly, a single tear rolling down their cheek. "Get up..." Bear King Burry turns to WSB "Now it is your portfolio's turn. Get in here you little bitch." "Excuse me." Someone replies from behind BKB. "I believe I can give you the fight you want." A robed figure is administering smelling salts to TSLA. The figure puts TSLA on its shoulder and carries TSLA gently out of the ring. "And just who the fuck do you think you are?" BKB rumbles ominously. BKB's fingers squeeze so tightly on the chair that metal bends. "Who am I?" the robed figure inquires. The robed figure stands straight and stretches to their full height. They must be at least 7' tall. The crowd stops crying and watches in stunned silence. "Who am I?" The figure repeats menacingly. The figure turns around to face BKB, ripping off his robe. A gleaming light fills the stadium. Before us stands a Golden deity, rippling with muscle. If there is an ounce of body fat it is currently in hiding, only to make way for seemingly endless coiled golden musculature. The figure looks directly into Bear King Burry's eyes. "I'm Goldman Sachs, and i'm here to kill you."
December 2020

WallStreetBets

Mods smell bad xD

⣿⣿⣿⢿⣿⢿⣷⡾⠿⠿⣿⠿⠿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⡇⡄⠇⡄⣿⢰⣿⡷⢸⠄⣷⡎⢻⣄⣙⡛⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣤⣷⣼⣧⣼⣦⣭⣴⣿⣦⣭⣴⣷⣤⣥⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⠛⠭⢭⣽⡿⠉⢿⠋⢹⣿⠠⠤⠤⡏⢹⣿⣿⠉⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣟⠓⠖⢒⣸⠃⣴⠄⣼⡀⢿⠰⠶⠾⡇⠸⠟⢛⠄⠿⠛⣻⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⠿⠿⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⠄⠶⠂⣹⣿⡿⢋⡀⢿⣿⠄⣦⣬⡙⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣀⣛⣃⣼⣏⣠⣶⣦⣈⣿⣀⠛⢛⣡⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠉⠙⠻⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣍⠙⠟⢋⣨⣿⠄⣿⣷⣦⡈⢹⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⡟⢋⣡⣄⡉⢻⡏⠄⠿⠿⠟⢁⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣶⣶⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
September 2020

MODS

Polish cow 2

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣠⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⢀⣤⠔⠂⠀⠀⠀⢤⣤⣤⣤⣄⣀⣀⣀⣀⡀⠀⢀⣀⣀⣀⡀⠀⠀⠀⢀⢀⣀⣠⣤⣴⣶⣾⠉⠉⠙⣶⠂⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠰⣿⣷⣾⣿⣷⣴⣶⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠏⠉⠛⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠿⣿⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣤⣂⣀⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⣿⣿⣿⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧⣤⣶⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣯⣤⣤⣿⡿⠿⠿⠿⠛⠛⠛⠛⠋⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⣹⣟⣿⣦⠈⠻⠋⢉⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠏⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⢀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣦⠀⠘⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠟⢿⣿⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡀⢀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣦⡈⠋⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠈⠿⠿⠁⣿⣿⣿⠎⠻⣯⠉⠉⠉⠈⠉⠉⠉⠉⠉⠉⠉⠉⠉⠉⢹⣿⢻⠉⠉⠁⠈⠻⢦⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢹⣿⡟⠀⠀⠈⠳⣄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⢿⠞⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠙⠳⠤⠤⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢈⡟⠇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠁⠤⠤⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⣶⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠙⠀⠈⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠻⠂
December 2020

Impossible to be happy and sad at the same time

twitchquotes: haHAA they say it's impossible to be happy & sad at the same time haHAA My wife told me i have the biggest d*ck out of all my brothers haHAA
twitch chat
October 2016

Alright, Nario Quesadilla

twitchquotes: Alright, Nario Quesadilla. You had your fun bullying kids on quickplay and making them salty. Hope you feel proud, you’re not making ult online any better, personally I’m going back at watching ZeRo.
twitch chat
August 2019
NairoMK

Super Smash Bros

Text-to-Speech Playing