[Copypasta] I want to bang Timmy Nook from Animal Crossing

Holy fucking shit. I want to bang Timmy Nook from Animal Crossing so goddamn bad. I can't stand it anymore. Every time I go to Nook’s Cranny I get a massive erection. I've seen literally every rule 34 post there is of him online. My dreams are nothing but constant fucking sex with Timmy Nook. I'm sick of waking up every morning with six nuts in my boxers and knowing that those are nuts that should've been busted inside of Timmy Nook’s tight tanuki asshole. I want him to have my mutant human/tanuki babies. Fuck, my fucking mom caught me with a raccoon I found in the trash. I'd dressed him in my dad’s Hawaiian shirt and went to fucking town. She hasn't said a word to me in 10 hours and I'm worried she's gonna take away my Nintendo Switch. I might not ever get to see Timmy Nook again.
July 2021
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If Apple opens super green tomorrow

If Apple opens super green tomorrow, I will buy a green Apple and cut a 1/4in hole in it and fuck it with my peen.
December 2020

WallStreetBets

Self-proclaimed 138 IQ alpha male on r/Stellaris

Lol... what we have here, is called a "normie," per se. You see, the original meme, that you are referencing, mentions David, not Jason. It is quite a popular meme and the name is pretty hard to forget, so my down-vote is on you (double entendre hehe), buddy boy.
October 2021

iamverysmart

forsenLevel

⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠛⠉⠁⠄⢀⣤⣶⣶⣶⣶⣶⣤⣄⠄⠈⢿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠋⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣆⣼⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠋⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢀⣴⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢃⡀⠂⠄⠄⠄⠄⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⡶⠤⣬⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠁⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣾⣏⣀⣿⣿⣿⢳⣤⣜⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣁⣸⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠾⠯⣭⣿⣷⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠃⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢈⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠋⠄⠄⠄⠄⠈⠄⠙⡿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⡉⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠘⢿⣿⣽⣿⠄⠐⢦⣴⣶⢚⠋⠄⠄⣁⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠉⠁⠉⠁⠄⠄⠄⠸⢷⣾⡄⠄⠄⢸⣿ ⣿⣿⠿⠛⠋⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢿⠇⠄⠄⢸⣿ ⠋⠁⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢸⣿ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠘⣧⣄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣸⣿
April 2022
Forsen

Emote

I use Linux as my operating system

"I use Linux as my operating system," I state proudly to the unkempt, bearded man. He swivels around in his desk chair with a devilish gleam in his eyes, ready to mansplain with extreme precision. "Actually", he says with a grin, "Linux is just the kernel. You use GNU+Linux!' I don't miss a beat and reply with a smirk, "I use Alpine, a distro that doesn't include the GNU Coreutils, or any other GNU code. It's Linux, but it's not GNU+Linux." The smile quickly drops from the man's face. His body begins convulsing and he foams at the mouth and drops to the floor with a sickly thud. As he writhes around he screams "I-IT WAS COMPILED WITH GCC! THAT MEANS IT'S STILL GNU!" Coolly, I reply "If windows were compiled with GCC, would that make it GNU?" I interrupt his response with "-and work is being made on the kernel to make it more compiler-agnostic. Even if you were correct, you won't be for long." With a sickly wheeze, the last of the man's life is ejected from his body. He lies on the floor, cold and limp. I've womansplained him to death.
June 2021

FeelsFurryMan

⠄⠄⢀⣤⣤⣄⡀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣠⣴⣶⣿⢱⡇⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⢠⠈⣿⣿⣿⣷⡦⢀⣤⣤⣤⣀⡀⠄⠄⠄⡀⠴⠶⠿⢿⣿⣿⢸⡇⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠸⣧⠹⢿⣿⡿⢡⣾⣿⠿⠿⠿⢿⣶⣄⢻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣝⢿⢸⡇⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⢀⣿⣧⡌⠿⢡⣿⣩⣴⣾⣿⣿⣶⣬⣝⡃⠟⣫⣭⣭⣭⣭⣥⡘⢿⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⢸⣿⣿⣿⠄⣿⣿⣿⡟⢫⣭⣶⣶⣶⣶⣶⣦⢻⡟⢫⣶⠒⠒⠒⣶⣤⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⢀⣙⣥⣴⣿⣿⡟⠥⠞⣫⣭⠁⠂⠄⢲⣶⣬⡈⢙⣩⠄⠂⠄⢰⣦⣭⣁⠄⠄ ⣴⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧⣍⣛⣀⠄⠄⣚⣋⡉⣰⣞⣛⣂⣀⣀⣘⣋⠉⠉⠄⠄ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢿⡿⣋⣥⣾⣿⣿⠿⠟⠟⠻⠟⠁⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠿⠏⣁⣀⠆⠿⢉⣹⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⡀⠄⠰⢶⣰⠿⠿⢿⣉ ⠿⠟⢛⣩⣭⣥⣶⠶⢚⣩⣄⠄⠺⠿⠻⠿⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣾⠷⠄⠐⣉⡓⠲⠤ ⣶⣿⡿⠟⠛⣉⣴⡾⠄⣉⠤⠤⢭⣍⣛⣛⣓⡒⠶⠶⠶⠶⠶⢚⣛⡛⠉⠙⢦⣄ ⠋⣥⣶⡾⠿⢋⣡⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣶⣦⣭⣭⣭⣭⣭⣭⣭⡭⠉⠉⠁⠄⠄⠄⠉ ⡿⠄⠃⢤⣄⣛⡛⠿⠿⠿⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠛⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⣶⣿⣿⣶⣶⣬⣭⣭⣭⣙⣓⣒⣒⣒⣒⣒⣒⣰⣶⣦⣄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄
November 2021

Pepe

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