[Copypasta] Lying about service dogs

I work in a restaurant. We only allow dogs in if they are service dogs. If anyone comes in with any dog I ask; ‘Is it a service dog?’ With a big wink to give them the opportunity to lie to me making it obvious I want them to. If at first they say ‘no’ I reply with ‘are you sure? This dog here? Sure looks like a service dog to me. Are you sure this is not a service dog?’with another big wink Always works. I love dogs
July 2021
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas

Nairoby Quezada I'm really disappointed in you

twitchquotes: Nairoby Quezada I'm really disappointed in you. Your recent food review on the Wendy's BBQ Burger™ has not lived up to your usual standard of quality. You did not even discuss the taste or texture of the new burger. I was really looking forward to your insights but I guess I'll have to look elsewhere. You better step up your review game if you want to keep your audience.
twitch chat
April 2019
NairoMK

The prodigal son has returned

twitchquotes: Papparin opens the door to see a hobo squating outside his house. He hugs the lankey figure and tears drip onto a Diablo 2 shirt that has seen better times. "Tonight we feast," Papparin says as he begins to prepare a meal of falafel. Kripp flops down on his bed, surrounded by empty OJ cartons from a year ago. The prodigal son has returned.
twitch chat
June 2015
Kripp

STFU Weebs

⣿⣿⡿⠟⠛⠛⣿⠛⠛⠛⠛⢻⠛⠛⠛⢻⡟⠛⣿⣿⠛⢻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⡇⠐⠿⣿⣿⣿⡇⢸⣿⣿⠄⢸⣿⣿⡇⠄⣿⣿⠄⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣶⣤⠈⣿⣿⡇⢸⣿⣿⠄⢰⣶⣾⡇⠄⣿⣿⠄⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣇⣉⣁⣤⣿⣿⣇⣸⣿⣿⣀⣸⣿⣿⣿⣤⣈⣁⣤⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⡿⢿⣿⡿⠿⣿⡿⢿⡿⠿⠿⠿⣿⡿⠿⠿⠿⣿⠿⠿⠿⠿⣿⣿⠿⠟⠿⣿ ⡇⠈⣿⠄⠄⣿⠃⣸⡇⠄⣶⣶⣿⡇⢰⣶⣶⣿⠄⢸⡷⠄⣿⡇⠰⢿⣶⣿ ⣿⠄⠋⢰⡆⠸⠄⣿⡇⠄⣤⣤⣿⡇⢠⣤⣤⣿⠄⢰⣤⠈⢻⣿⣦⣄⠈⢿ ⣿⣇⣀⣾⣷⣀⣸⣿⣇⣀⣉⣉⣹⣇⣈⣉⣉⣿⣀⣈⣉⣠⣾⣋⣉⣉⣠⣿
September 2019

Weebs

Catten Eatarrian

twitchquotes: "This pasta is delicious, Rania," says Kripp as he receives his vegan foodie. Rania replies, "That's not pasta. It's cat." As the Kripp vomits in horror, Trump removes the Rania mask. "It seems you've catten Eatarrian."
twitch chat
June 2015
Kripp

Horny during Space Jam 2

OK so I was watching space jam 2 and I got RANDOMLY horny. I didn’t wanna exit the movie so I just waited till the Lola scene came up. It came. I started JACKING the SHIT out my pecker. And then.. I ACCIDENTLY NUTTED TO LEBRON😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭
July 2021
Text-to-Speech Playing