[Copypasta] Lying about service dogs

I work in a restaurant. We only allow dogs in if they are service dogs. If anyone comes in with any dog I ask; ‘Is it a service dog?’ With a big wink to give them the opportunity to lie to me making it obvious I want them to. If at first they say ‘no’ I reply with ‘are you sure? This dog here? Sure looks like a service dog to me. Are you sure this is not a service dog?’with another big wink Always works. I love dogs
July 2021
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas

We recommend that you use the "suggested card" feature

twitchquotes: Greetings, Kripparrian. This is an automated message from Blizzard™ Entertianment. You are receiving this message because our Hearthstone AI has flagged your account due to an unusal number of arena losses. We recommend that you use the "suggested card" feature before progressing any further. Thanks - The Blizzard™ Team.
twitch chat
October 2014
Kripp

Grubhub perks gives you deals on the food you love

Grubhub perks gives you deals on the food you love ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣀⣀⣀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣴⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣾⣿⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣼⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠟⠀⠀⠀⢻⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣾⣿⣿⢿⢿⡿⡁⠀⠀⠀⠀⢘⣟⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣠⣤⠛⢛⣋⣁⣀⣀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠘⠿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣼⡏⠀⠀⣸⣿⣯⠟⡛⠻⣿⣆⣶⣶⣦⣤⣤⣤⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢿⡇⠀⣠⣿⢻⣿⣤⣍⣸⣿⠛⣿⠁⠏⠉⢹⡿⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠻⣿⣿⠃⠀⠈⠉⠉⠛⢿⡼⠿⢶⣶⣶⣿⣃⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⣴⣿⠃⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠸⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣴⡿⠋⣿⡇⠀⠀⠀⢸⡿⠿⠷⠏⠁⣠⣄⠀⠀⠀⣿⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣰⡿⠋⠀⠀⢿⡇⠀⠀⠀⠈⠻⢷⣦⣤⣤⡟⠻⡷⠀⠀⣿⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⣠⣾⠟⢿⣄⠀⠀⠘⣿⣄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣈⣉⣉⣴⡆⠀⠀⢀⣿⠃⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⢀⣴⡿⠁⠀⠀⢻⣷⡀⠀⠈⢿⣦⠀⠀⣠⣾⣿⣿⣏⠉⠀⠀⣠⣿⢿⣤⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⢠⣾⠋⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠙⣿⡄⠀⠀⠛⢿⣦⣻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣦⣰⡿⠁⠈⢿⣇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⣾⣃⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⢿⣦⠀⠀⠀⠙⠻⢿⣿⣿⣿⠋⣱⡿⠁⠀⢠⠈⣿⡄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⣴⣿⣿⣿⣶⣤⣄⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠻⣷⣄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠉⠙⠰⣿⢱⣦⠀⠘⠀⢹⣇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ The kind of deals that make you boogie
February 2021

Ban one bee, get the swarm

twitchquotes: bUrself ban bUrself one bUrself bee bUrself and bUrself you'll bUrself get bUrself the bUrself swarm bUrself
twitch chat
September 2016

MODS

Ban X Get The Whole Y

Teaching him how to throw so well

twitchquotes: Hey xQc my son is a huge fan of yours. Anyway over the past few days of watching you play this game hes got much better at playing baseball (he plays in the 11-13 year old division). I just wanted to stop by and thank you for teaching him how to throw so well.
twitch chat
October 2018
xQcOW

Overwatch

Ben Shapiro sings Rick Roll

Lets say, hypothetically, that we were not strangers to love, and lets say, you knew the rules and so did i. And if you thought of a full commitment, you wouldnt get this from any other guy, right? Then hypothetically speaking, i just want to tell you how im feeling. Now lets say i gotta make you understand. Now that we've established that im never gonna give you up or let you down. Am i not correct? You would never run around, and desert you. And i, as a balcony, think that i wouldnt make you cry, so i must be the one to never tell a lie, and hurt you This would mean that, we've known eachother for so long, and logically, your hearts been aching but, youre too shy to say it. which would proceed with both of us knowing whats been going on. Which didnt make sense, we know the game, in a way that we're gonna play it. Yet, if you ask me how im feeling, seeing as you shouldnt say that youre too blind to see
December 2020

Ben Shapiro

Text-to-Speech Playing