[Copypasta] Lying about service dogs

I work in a restaurant. We only allow dogs in if they are service dogs. If anyone comes in with any dog I ask; ‘Is it a service dog?’ With a big wink to give them the opportunity to lie to me making it obvious I want them to. If at first they say ‘no’ I reply with ‘are you sure? This dog here? Sure looks like a service dog to me. Are you sure this is not a service dog?’with another big wink Always works. I love dogs
July 2021
I used to be a real ad
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Wallstreetbet's Christmas break

Gonna be checking the market every chance I get while pretending to think my brother-in-law's Cards Against Humanity answers are funny.
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Fortnite represents life

twitchquotes: Fortnite represents life. We drop anywhere on the map, in the real world we drop out of a uterus. the battle royale is the struggle of life. and the loss is being arrested. the dub is killing everyone in the school successfully.
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Bro, you MASHING right now!

twitchquotes: Last night, I dreamt I was the head chef at an Italian restaurant, and a notoriously-picky food critic was waiting for his meal. I was terrified. His review would make or break my career as a chef. I spent an hour cooking up the best pasta I had ever made, and brought it out to his table. But the moment I came up to him, he turned to me and shouted "Bro, you MASHING right now!" I was stunned. It was NairoMK. I woke up in a cold sweat.
twitch chat
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NairoMK

Super Smash Bros

That's a KEKW bro

twitchquotes: ㄒ卄卂ㄒ丂 卂 Ҝ乇Ҝ山 乃尺ㄖ
twitch chat
February 2021
Text-to-Speech Playing