[Copypasta] Lying about service dogs

I work in a restaurant. We only allow dogs in if they are service dogs. If anyone comes in with any dog I ask; ‘Is it a service dog?’ With a big wink to give them the opportunity to lie to me making it obvious I want them to. If at first they say ‘no’ I reply with ‘are you sure? This dog here? Sure looks like a service dog to me. Are you sure this is not a service dog?’with another big wink Always works. I love dogs
July 2021
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas

Nairoby Quezada I'm really disappointed in you

twitchquotes: Nairoby Quezada I'm really disappointed in you. Your recent food review on the Wendy's BBQ Burger™ has not lived up to your usual standard of quality. You did not even discuss the taste or texture of the new burger. I was really looking forward to your insights but I guess I'll have to look elsewhere. You better step up your review game if you want to keep your audience.
twitch chat
April 2019
NairoMK

Hitler speech bubble

⠀⠘⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡜⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠑⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡔⠁⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠢⢄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⠴⠊⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⠀⠀⠀⢀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⡀⠤⠄⠒⠈⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠘⣀⠄⠊⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣴⠶⠿⠟⠛⠻⠛⠳⠶⣄⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⣠⣶⣿⣿⣿⣶⣖⠶⢶⣤⡀⠀⠈⢿⣆⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⢀⣴⣿⠋⠉⠉⠀⠀⠈⠉⠛⠿⢿⣷⡀⠀⠈⢷⡀⠀⠀⠀ ⡾⠉⡏⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠙⢦⡀⠘⣷⡀⠀⠀ ⣷⢰⠃⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⢳⡀⢸⡇⠀⠀ ⢻⡜⡄⠀⢀⣀⣤⣶⣶⡄⣴⣾⣿⣛⣓⠀⠀⣧⢸⣇⠀⠀ ⢈⣧⣧⠀⢩⠞⠿⠿⠻⠀⠘⠙⠃⠛⠛⠓⠀⣿⣻⠿⣷⠀ ⢸⡵⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠠⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢻⣇⡟⠀ ⠘⢧⣿⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢧⣤⣤⣶⣗⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠜⣽⠁⠀ ⠀⠈⢿⣧⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣀⠀⠀⠀⢠⡟⠁⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠘⣇⠀⠀⠰⠋⠉⠙⠂⠀⠉⠀⠀⠀⣼⡅⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠹⣦⡀⠀⠀⠀⠉⠉⠁⠀⠀⠀⣠⠏⢻⣤⡀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢹⡷⢦⣄⣀⣀⣀⣀⣤⣴⡾⠃⠀⠘⡿⠙⢶ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢨⡷⣤⡀⠈⠉⠉⢁⡴⠋⠀⠀⠀⣸⠃⠀⠀
August 2021

Kripp's sonnerino

twitchquotes: Kʀɪᴘᴘ, ɪᴛ's ʏᴏᴜʀ sᴏɴɴᴇʀɪɴᴏ ғʀᴏᴍ ᴛʜᴇ ғᴜᴛᴜʀᴇ, ᴄᴏɴᴄᴇɪᴠᴇᴅ ɪɴ Gʀᴇᴇᴄᴇ ᴛʜᴇ ɴɪɢʜᴛ ʏᴏᴜ ᴀɴᴅ Tʀᴜᴍᴘ's ᴅᴏɴɢᴇʀs ᴛᴏᴜᴄʜᴇᴅ. Yᴏᴜ ʜᴀᴠᴇ ᴄᴏɴᴛʀᴀᴄᴛᴇᴅ ᴀ ʜɪɢʜʟʏ ʟᴇɢᴀʟ ғᴏʀᴍ ᴏғ ᴀɪᴅs ᴛʜᴀᴛ sᴏᴏɴ ɪɴғᴇᴄᴛ ᴇᴀʀᴛʜᴇʀɪɴᴏ. Tʜᴇ ᴏɴʟʏ ᴄᴜʀᴇ ɪs ᴀ ᴘʜᴇʀᴏᴍᴏɴᴇ sᴇᴄʀᴇᴛᴇᴅ ғʀᴏᴍ ᴏɴʟʏ ʏᴏᴜʀ ᴋɴᴇᴇ. Pᴀᴘᴀ, ʏᴏᴜ ᴍᴜsᴛ ʟɪᴄᴋ ʏᴏᴜʀ ᴋɴᴇᴇ! Pʟs ɴᴏ ғᴇᴛᴛᴜᴄᴄɪɴᴏ ᴀʟғᴀ ʀᴏᴍᴇᴏ
twitch chat
March 2014
Kripp

I hate when people refer to orange juice as OJ

I hate when people refer to orange juice as OJ. Why OJ? Do you want to sound cool? Is it so much of a hustle to say orange juice? Do you abbreviate apple juice too? " Hey yeah, let me have some AJ?" - said by no one ever. I just think it sound annoying af. Edit: I don't have any issues with abbreviations, except for OJ as orange juice. Sorry if I offended some of you with sensitive feelings.
May 2022

U bluudi wonka

I, U bluudi wonka, feck'n bos droiva don' went en doid on ya m8, musta bin a reyl sed day 4 ya mum m8, ah bluudi eal, E wuuda smocked u roight en the gabber so ya C staars 4 doin wot ya bin doin, pal.neavamnd, feck u m8, get shrektd
November 2014
Text-to-Speech Playing