[Copypasta] Fired for masturbating on a Zoom call

So this just happened an hour ago and I am still shaking. I’m a staff in public accounting and was in the middle of a 3-hour training on Zoom. Usually when we have these types of calls I just keep the video running in the background and I walk around the room doing things to pass the time and distract myself from the monotone presenters. Well today I forgot that I left the camera on (I usually always have it off but earlier today I had a call with the partner to discuss my upcoming promotion, so I had to have it on). I had no clue I had left the camera on and in the middle of walking around and muttering to myself as I was zoning out, I flipped it out and started to rub one out. I did so with complete confidence, openly and ferociously, stroking faster and faster until I heard the presenter stop and kindly asked me to turn my camera off. Mortified, I lifted my pants up and rushed over to turn the camera off. Soon after the training was over I had a call with HR and they let me know that I was being terminated. I hated the job anyway so not so bummed about that, but I’m not sure what to say in interviews now if I’m asked why I left this job. Any advice?
June 2021
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More Copypastas

This streamer believes that he has many different viewers

twitchquotes: This streamer believes that he has many different viewers, however it is really only me on many different accounts. To prove this, I will now repost this exact message on all my other accounts.
twitch chat
June 2017

He knew he was a sellout

twitchquotes: On November 10th, 2014, Octavian "Kripparian" Morosan was found to be severely delusional. He began wandering around his home, mumbling 'brofist' and 'subscribe'. As his weak fist was placed gently on the webcam, a single tear ran down his cheek. He knew he was a sellout.
twitch chat
November 2014
Kripp

sellout

ACHOO! Sorry, did I spray you?

ACHOO! Sorry, did I spray you? πŸ’¦πŸ˜‰ 🧻Corona🀧 is CUMMINGπŸ’¦ for us and you’ve just tested 😱positive🦠 for being πŸ’‹NAUGHTYπŸ˜‰ πŸ™…β€β™€οΈSocial distancing is in effect🚫 and I want to spend my πŸ€·β€β™‚οΈquarenTEENπŸ”ž with YOU 😍 So grab your 🧴isopropyl-lubricant πŸ’¦ and CUMπŸ‘… over so I can administerπŸ‘©β€βš•οΈ your treatmentπŸ˜‰ and injectπŸ’‰ you with the vaccineπŸ† We’ll spend the πŸ—lockdownπŸ”’ flattening the curveπŸ“‰ and FATTENING DEM’ πŸ‘πŸΏ CURVES πŸ‘ Get ready for 14 days of πŸ’―THICC DICC DIAGNOSTICS😭 and sitting on my facemask😷 Send this βœ‰οΈ to covid-19 of your sloppiest πŸ’¦πŸ’¦SYMPTOMATICπŸ€’ SLUTS🀫 If you get 5 back, you’re a Wuhan batπŸ¦‡ bitch πŸ‘Ž If you get 10 back, you’re a πŸ˜‰hornyπŸ’„healthyπŸ’ͺhoe😘 If you get all 19 backπŸ‘ your assπŸ‘ is the ANTIDOTEπŸ’Š and it’s in high demand πŸ‘¬πŸΏ
March 2020

Emoji Pasta

Coronavirus

COVID

Fluttershy

β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–‘β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–Œβ–’β–Œβ–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“ β–“ β–“β–“β–“β–“β–‘β–‘β–‘β–’β–’β–’β–Œβ–’β–Œβ–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–„β–’β–“β–“β–“β–“ β–“β–“β–“β–‘β–β–Œβ–‘β–’β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–’β–’β–’β–β–’β–’β–’β–’β–“β–“ β–“β–“β–’β–‘β–‘β–Œβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–“ β–“β–’β–’β–’β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–’β–’β–€β–€β–Œβ–’β–’ β–“β–’β–’β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–€β–€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–€β–’β–’β–’β–Œβ–’ β–’β–’β–Œβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–Œβ–„β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–Œβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–’β–’β–’β–β–’β–’ β–’β–β–’β–’β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–„β–ˆβ–Œβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–’β–’β–’β–β–’β–’β–’ ▒▒▐▒▒░░░░▀▀▀▀░░░░▒▒▒▐▒▒▓ ▒▒▒▐▒▒░░░░░░░░░░░░▒▐▒▒▓▓ ▒▒▒▒▐▒▒░░░░░░░▐▄░▒▐▒▓▓▓▓ β–“β–’β–’β–’β–’β–Œβ–’β–’β–‘β–“β–“β–“β–“β–’β–’β–’β–’β–€β–’β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“ ▓▓▒▒▒▐▒▒░▓▓▓▒▒▒▐▀▓▓▓▓▓▓▓
November 2014

I sexually identify as a priest player

twitchquotes: I sexually identify as a priest player. Everyday I dream about flying into ranked games and conceding to rank 25 players. Call me retarded. I don't care. I'm beautiful. I'm getting plastic surgery to get my minions silenced for 2 mana. You can now refer to me as Anduinn and respect my right to concede on turn 1. If you can't accept me you're a holy-phobe and need to check your concede privileges. Thank you for being so understanding.
twitch chat
August 2016

Hearthstone

I sexually Identify as

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