[Copypasta] Fired for masturbating on a Zoom call

So this just happened an hour ago and I am still shaking. I’m a staff in public accounting and was in the middle of a 3-hour training on Zoom. Usually when we have these types of calls I just keep the video running in the background and I walk around the room doing things to pass the time and distract myself from the monotone presenters. Well today I forgot that I left the camera on (I usually always have it off but earlier today I had a call with the partner to discuss my upcoming promotion, so I had to have it on). I had no clue I had left the camera on and in the middle of walking around and muttering to myself as I was zoning out, I flipped it out and started to rub one out. I did so with complete confidence, openly and ferociously, stroking faster and faster until I heard the presenter stop and kindly asked me to turn my camera off. Mortified, I lifted my pants up and rushed over to turn the camera off. Soon after the training was over I had a call with HR and they let me know that I was being terminated. I hated the job anyway so not so bummed about that, but I’m not sure what to say in interviews now if I’m asked why I left this job. Any advice?
June 2021
(▀̿Ĺ̯├┬┴┬┴ Psst... kid, you wanna disable adblock?
More Copypastas

Monke

⠄⠄⠄⣠⢴⢴⡴⣤⢤⣄⠄⠄⢀⠄⣀⡤⣴⣺⡽⣯⡷⣦⣄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⣔⢞⢝⢝⠽⡽⣽⣳⢿⡽⣏⣗⢗⢯⢯⣗⡯⡿⣽⢽⣷⣟⣷⣄ ⠄ ⠄⡗⡟⡼⣸⣁⢋⠎⠎⢯⢯⡧⡫⣎⡽⡹⠊⢍⠙⠜⠽⣳⢯⣿⣳ ⠄ ⠄⢕⠕⠁⣁⢬⢬⣌⠆⠅⢯⡻⣜⢷⠁⠌⡼⠲⠺⢮⡆⡉⢹⣺⣽ ⠄ ⠄⠄⡀⢐⠄⠄⠄⠈⠳⠁⡂⢟⣞⡏⠄⡹⠄⠄⠄⠄⠈⣺⡐⣞⣾ ⠄ ⠄⢰⡳⡹⢦⣀⣠⡠⠤⠄⡐⢝⣾⣳⣐⣌⠳⠦⠤⠤⣞⢼⢽⣻⡷ ⠄ ⠄⢸⣚⢆⢄⣈⠨⢊⢐⢌⠞⣞⣞⡗⡟⡾⣝⢦⣳⡳⣯⢿⣻⣽⣟ ⠄ ⠄⠘⡢⡫⢒⠒⣘⠰⣨⢴⣸⣺⣳⢥⢷⣳⣽⣳⢮⢝⢽⡯⣿⣺⡽ ⠄ ⠄⠄⠁⠪⠤⢑⢄⢽⡙⢽⣺⢾⢽⢯⡟⡽⣾⣎⡿⣮⡳⣹⣳⣗⠇ ⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠁⠄⡸⡡⠑⠤⣠⡑⠙⠍⡩⡴⣽⡗⣗⣟⣷⣫⢳⢕⡏ ⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⢈⡇⡇⡆⡌⡀⡉⠫⡯⢯⡫⡷⣽⣺⣗⣟⡾⡼⡺ ⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⡮⡎⡎⡎⣞⢲⡹⡵⡕⣇⡿⣽⣳⣟⣾⣳⡯⠉ ⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⢯⡣⡣⡣⡣⡣⣗⡽⣽⣳⢯⢷⣳⣻⣺⣗⡇ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠰⡙⠺⢪⢪⡺⡵⣯⣗⡯⡿⣽⢽⢾⣳⠏ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠐⠢⠄⣀⣀⢉⠊⣊⣉⡬⡶⡻⣝⡞ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠈⠙⢙⢑⢹⣘⠮⠛⠈ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠂⠁⠑⠁⠄⠄ monke
April 2021

Surf, Psychic, Thunder, Blizzard

twitchquotes: Surf, Psychic, Thunder, Blizzard. There was a time when all 4 moves were used to achieve teh urn. But all that changed when the e4 attacked. Only the avatar, master of all 4 moves could stop them. But when the chat needed him most, he missed! 26 e4 attempts later and we keep losing. Some believe that pc will ruin the team. But I haven't lost hope, I still believe Starmie can save teh urn.
twitch chat
May 2019
TwitchPlaysPokemon

Fat reddit snoo

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣠⣤⣤⣤⣤⣀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣰⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣤⣄⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣰⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣦⣄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣤⣶⣾⣿⣿⣷⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡏⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣨⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣅⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣠⣶⡿⠿⠿⢿⣶⣴⣾⠿⠛⠋⠁⠀⠉⠛⠻⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⢿⣶⣄⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣼⣿⠁⠀⠀⣠⣾⠿⢋⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠉⠙⠛⠛⠛⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠿⣿⣿⠛⠀⠈⢿⣧⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⣿⠀⢀⣾⣿⣿⡿⠛⠉⠉⠉⠉⢉⣭⣭⣉⠙⠳⣶⡆⠀⠐⣶⠶⠋⣉⣭⣭⣉⠉⠉⠉⠉⠙⢻⣿⣿⣷⡀⠀⣸⣿⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠘⣿⣦⣿⠏⠈⢿⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧⠀⣸⡗⠀⠐⣿⠀⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣿⠉⢻⣷⣴⣿⠏⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣽⣿⠀⠀⠘⢷⡀⠀⠀⠀⠸⣿⣿⣿⣿⠏⣴⠟⠀⠀⠀⠘⣷⡸⣿⣿⣿⣿⠏⠀⠀⠀⠀⣼⠃⠀⠀⣿⡏⠁⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢻⣿⠀⠀⠀⠈⠻⠦⣄⣀⣀⣀⣉⣩⡴⠟⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠛⠶⢭⣉⣀⣀⣀⣀⠤⠞⠁⠀⠀⠀⣿⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠘⣿⡆⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⣽⠋⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠉⢧⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣼⡟⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢹⣯⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣰⠃⢠⣤⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣤⡄⠘⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢰⡿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⠄⠀⠀⠀⠂⠀⠀⡟⠀⠈⠛⠿⢷⣶⣶⣶⣶⣶⣶⣶⡾⠿⠋⠁⠀⠱⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢰⣿⠃⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⣆⠀⢈⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢷⠀⠀⠀⠀⡌⠉⠉⠉⠁⠀⠄⠀⣤⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⡏⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⠇⢀⠘⠁⠁⠀⡀⠀⡀⠘⢷⣤⣀⣀⠃⠀⠀⠀⣀⣈⣤⠾⠃⠀⠀⢀⢠⠀⡁⠀⢸⣿⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⡔⣀⡀⡐⣦⠀⠀⠀⠂⠀⠀⠈⠉⠉⠉⠛⠛⠋⠏⠉⠀⠀⣰⡤⠐⠈⢠⣠⠃⠀⣾⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣿⠀⣿⡀⡁⠹⣆⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠐⠀⠁⠈⠀⠀⢄⣸⡾⠫⠐⠀⠀⣼⠋⠀⢱⡿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⣿⠀⠘⢧⡁⠀⠙⠳⢶⣤⣄⣀⣀⣠⣀⣢⣦⣤⠶⠞⠛⠁⠀⠀⠀⢠⡼⠃⠢⢠⣿⠃⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⣿⠀⠀⠈⠻⣦⡀⠀⠀⠀⠉⠉⢹⠉⠉⠙⡁⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⣠⡶⠋⠀⠀⢠⣾⠃⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠻⣷⣄⡄⠀⡊⠙⠳⠶⠶⠶⢾⣤⣤⣤⣤⣧⣷⢶⠶⠞⢻⠉⠁⢠⠠⢈⣴⡟⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠻⢷⣧⣤⣀⣀⣀⣄⣄⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣂⣠⣀⣡⣠⣀⣠⣦⣴⡾⠟⠋⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠉⠛⠛⠛⠛⠛⠛⠛⠛⠛⠛⠛⠛⠛⠋⠙⠉⠉⠉⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
June 2021

octavian will come in your room tonight

twitchquotes: hello my name is octavian i died in a falafel accident 10 years ago unless you copy and paste this 10 times i will come in your room tonight and make you go 0-3 i look like a middle-aged salty vegan
twitch chat
February 2019
Kripp

Hearthstone

Howling Wolf

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠸⠁⠸⢳⡄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢠⠃⠀⠀⢸⠸⠀⡠⣄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡠⠃⠀⠀⢠⣞⣀⡿⠀⠀⣧⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⣠⡖⠁⠀⠀⠀⢸⠈⢈⡇⠀⢀⡏⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡴⠩⢠⡴⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⡶⠉⠀⠀⡸⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⠎⢠⣇⠏⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠁⠀⢀⠄⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢠⠏⠀⢸⣿⣴⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣆⣀⢾⢟⠴⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣿⠀⠠⣄⠸⢹⣦⠀⠀⡄⠀⠀⢋⡟⠀⠀⠁⣇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⡾⠁⢠⠀⣿⠃⠘⢹⣦⢠⣼⠀⠀⠉⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⢀⣴⠫⠤⣶⣿⢀⡏⠀⠀⠘⢸⡟⠋⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢳⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠐⠿⢿⣿⣤⣴⣿⣣⢾⡄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠳⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢣⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⣨⣟⡍⠉⠚⠹⣇⡄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⢦⠀⠀⢀⡀⣾⡇⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⢠⠟⣹⣧⠃⠀⠀⢿⢻⡀⢄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠐⣦⡀⣸⣆⠀⣾⣧⣯⢻⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠘⣰⣿⣿⡄⡆⠀⠀⠀⠳⣼⢦⡘⣄⠀⠀⡟⡷⠃⠘⢶⣿⡎⠻⣆⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⡟⡿⢿⡿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠙⠀⠻⢯⢷⣼⠁⠁⠀⠀⠀⠙⢿⡄⡈⢆⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⡇⣿⡅⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠙⠦⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡇⢹⢿⡀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠁⠛⠓⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠼⠇⠁
January 2024
Text-to-Speech Playing