[Copypasta] Fired for masturbating on a Zoom call

So this just happened an hour ago and I am still shaking. I’m a staff in public accounting and was in the middle of a 3-hour training on Zoom. Usually when we have these types of calls I just keep the video running in the background and I walk around the room doing things to pass the time and distract myself from the monotone presenters. Well today I forgot that I left the camera on (I usually always have it off but earlier today I had a call with the partner to discuss my upcoming promotion, so I had to have it on). I had no clue I had left the camera on and in the middle of walking around and muttering to myself as I was zoning out, I flipped it out and started to rub one out. I did so with complete confidence, openly and ferociously, stroking faster and faster until I heard the presenter stop and kindly asked me to turn my camera off. Mortified, I lifted my pants up and rushed over to turn the camera off. Soon after the training was over I had a call with HR and they let me know that I was being terminated. I hated the job anyway so not so bummed about that, but I’m not sure what to say in interviews now if I’m asked why I left this job. Any advice?
June 2021
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas

No longer afford drugs after playing Star Wars Force Arena

twitchquotes: (sponsored viewer): My dad has been struggling with drug addiction for the last 20 years. After I showed him this game, he can no longer afford drugs! Thank you Star Wars™: Force Arena! SeemsGood
twitch chat
February 2017
Kripp

sellout

Deadpool dabbing

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡨⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⢦⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⠄⠀⠄⢰⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢣⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣀⣔⡆⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣴⣶⣶⣤⣀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣠⣶⣦⡀⢰⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠘⣧⡄⡆⠀⠀⠀⠀⣰⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣼⣿⣿⣿⡇⠀⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⠤⠤⢤⣤⠀⠀⠀⠀⠘⣶⡇⠀⠀⠀⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡀⠀⠀⠀⢠⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⠀⡃⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠃⠀⠀⠀⣠⣭⣭⣭⠝⠋⠉⠃⠀⠀⠀⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⣿⣿⡇⠀⠀⠀⣼⡿⢿⣿⣿⡇⢸⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠾⠰⠶⢤⣿⣿⣿⡟⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡏⠀⣼⣿⠃⠀⠀⢀⣿⠀⣰⣿⣿⡇⡸⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠙⠻⢿⣧⠀⠀⠀⢠⣷⣄⠀⠹⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣿⡏⠀⠀⠀⠸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣟⡔⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠉⠈⠑⠲⣿⣿⣿⣷⣄⠈⠻⠟⠛⠛⠿⠿⠟⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠙⠿⣿⠟⠋⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡀⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⢄⠀⠂⠄⠂⠀⠀⠀⣶⣶⣶⣶⠀⠀⠈⠆⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⠀⠁⠙⠛⣿⣿⠤⡼⠀⠀⠀⠀⠑⢀⣼⣿⣿⣿⡿⠀⠀⠀⠄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠐⠙⠀⠀⠀⠀⠛⠃⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠸⣿⣿⣿⠿⠃⠤⠀⠁⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢍⠀⣀⠀⠈⢀⡀⠀⠀⠀⢃⣥⣌⡀⠄⠀⠀⠛⠛⠗⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡇⢰⣿⣿⣾⣿⠋⠀⠀⠀⢿⣿⣿⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢮⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠣⣸⣿⣿⣿⠁⠀⠠⠀⠀⠊⠍⠍⠀⠀⠰⣄⣀⡀⢸⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠸⣿⣿⣿⣤⣖⣰⠋⠁⠒⠒⢦⠀⠀⠀⣿⣿⣷⣀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣴⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⠀⠀⠀⢸⣷⣶⣾⣿⣿⣿⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠁⠀⠀⠀⢨⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣤⣀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢻⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠏⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡆⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠙⠿⠿⠿⠿⠿⠿⠿⠃⠀⠀⠀⠀
January 2021

Please abide by the Reddit amendments

Sir, please abide by the Reddit amendments: • ⁠Big Chungus is funny • ⁠Keanu Reeves is the second coming of christ • ⁠Elon Musk is the third coming of Christ (as well as wholesome 100, he knows Reddit memes) • ⁠Fortnite is gay (gay = bad) • ⁠Females are dumb while men are cool • ⁠Nestle is the worst company ever (as well as the only bad company) • ⁠Minecraft is the best game ever made • ⁠No emojis allowed (except for 🗿 (yo angelo (it's funny because it's a Jojo reference (if you see someone commit a Jojo reference, you are legally forced to continue the reference chain, if you do not, you will be downvoted))) • ⁠Being downvoted means you're wrong, if you think you're being wrongfully downvoted, rethink your comment, and if you still think you were wrongfully downvoted, rethink your comment until you understand what you did wrong • ⁠Reddit is the best social media Until I have seen major improvements in your behavior, your post will be awarded one downvote (aka Australia upvote, it's funny because Australia is on the opposite side of the globe compared to Europe and America, lol). This is your first and final warning, if you do not abide by these amendments in the future, everyone will dislike that.
August 2021

OMG that was not a c9 plat chat

twitchquotes: OMG that was not a c9 plat chat 😂😂 you see, I know what a c9 is because I'm a low diamond and understand concepts such as c9, reset, dive and goats, unlike you PLATS 😂👌
twitch chat
May 2019

Overwatch

Torture dance 3

⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢀⠄⣠⣶⣶⣷⣿⣶⡊⠄⠄⣀⣤⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣀⣴⣶⣾⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣿⣿⡏⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢸⣿⡍⠁⠄⠈⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠁⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠏⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠋⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠈⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣡⣶⣶⣄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣀⣀⣠⣴⣦⡤⣿⣿⣿⣿⡻⣿⣿⡯⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢻⣿⣿⡏⠉⠙⠛⢛⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢿⣿⡧⠄⠄⢠⣾⣿⣿⡿⠁⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠈⣿⣿⣄⣼⣿⣿⣿⠏⠁⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠸⡿⣻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣆⡀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣿⣻⠟⠈⠻⢿⣿⣿⣆⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠿⠍⠄⠄⠄⠄⠉⠻⣿⣷⡤⣀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠈⢻⣿⡿⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣿⡯⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠸⠃⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄
April 2019

JoJo's Bizarre Adventure Torture Dance

JoJo's Bizarre Adventure

Text-to-Speech Playing