[Copypasta] Fired for masturbating on a Zoom call

So this just happened an hour ago and I am still shaking. Iโ€™m a staff in public accounting and was in the middle of a 3-hour training on Zoom. Usually when we have these types of calls I just keep the video running in the background and I walk around the room doing things to pass the time and distract myself from the monotone presenters. Well today I forgot that I left the camera on (I usually always have it off but earlier today I had a call with the partner to discuss my upcoming promotion, so I had to have it on). I had no clue I had left the camera on and in the middle of walking around and muttering to myself as I was zoning out, I flipped it out and started to rub one out. I did so with complete confidence, openly and ferociously, stroking faster and faster until I heard the presenter stop and kindly asked me to turn my camera off. Mortified, I lifted my pants up and rushed over to turn the camera off. Soon after the training was over I had a call with HR and they let me know that I was being terminated. I hated the job anyway so not so bummed about that, but Iโ€™m not sure what to say in interviews now if Iโ€™m asked why I left this job. Any advice?
June 2021
https://www.reddit.com/r/Accounting/comments/nx1jli/fired_for_masturbating_on_a_zoom_call
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โ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–โ–ˆโ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–ˆโ–Œ โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–„โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–„ โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–€โ–„โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–€โ–„โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–„โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–„ โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–€โ–„โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–ˆโ–€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–โ–ˆ โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–„โ–€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–„โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–„ โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–„โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–„โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–€โ”€โ–€โ–ˆ โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ–Œโ–ˆโ–„โ–ˆโ–ˆโ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ–Œ โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–€โ–ˆโ–„โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–€โ”€โ–„โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–„โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–ˆ โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ”€โ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–ˆ โ–„โ–€โ–„โ–„โ–€โ–„โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ”€โ”€โ”€โ–ˆ โ–ˆโ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–ˆโ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ”€โ”€โ”€โ–ˆ โ–ˆโ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–ˆโ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ”€โ”€โ–€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–ˆ โ–ˆโ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–ˆโ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–ˆ โ–ˆโ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–ˆโ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–ˆ โ–ˆโ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–ˆโ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–โ–ˆ โ–ˆโ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–ˆโ”€โ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ–Œ โ–€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–€โ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–€โ–ˆโ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ–ˆ โ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ”€โ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ”€โ”€โ–€โ–ˆโ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–„โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆ โ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–€โ–ˆโ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–„โ–€โ–“โ–“โ–ˆโ–ˆ โ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ”€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–€โ–ˆโ–€โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–€โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–ˆโ–ˆ โ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆ โ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–ˆโ–“โ–ˆ โ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–ˆโ–“โ–ˆ โ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–“โ–ˆ โ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–โ–ˆโ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–ˆโ–“โ–“โ–ˆ โ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–ˆโ–“โ–“โ–ˆ โ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–ˆโ–“โ–“โ–ˆ โ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–ˆ
ascii art
September 2021

I think i need a special vaccine

twitchquotes: ๐Ÿ˜ณ what's this? my heart is beating so fast ๐Ÿ’“ I feel dizzy ๐Ÿคช what is this tension in my lower body? ๐Ÿค” I am sweating so much ๐Ÿฅต I think i need a special vaccine ๐Ÿ† because I have [insert streamer name]virus ๐Ÿค’๐Ÿค’๐Ÿค’
twitch chat
April 2021

Fantastic AoE2 player

twitchquotes: "Streamer's name" is a fantastic player, he only needs to work on his scoutings, build orders, strategy choices, eco management, army compositions, control groupings, unit splits, xbow dances, mangonel attack grounds, monk micros, knights surroundings, galley fights, laming, clicking precision, building placements, not getting housed, map bans and civ choices.
twitch chat
July 2020

Age of Empires II

Ugandan Knuckles 2

โข€โข€โข€โข€โข€โข€โข€โข€โข€โข€โ ถโฃฟโฃญโกงโกคโฃคโฃปโฃ›โฃนโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃถโฃ„ โข€โข€โข€โข€โข€โข€โข€โข€โข€โฃผโฃŠโฃคโฃถโฃทโฃถโฃงโฃคโฃฝโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃท โข€โข€โข€โข€โข€โข€โข€โข€โข€โขปโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโก‡ โข€โข€โข€โข€โข€โข€โข€โฃ โฃถโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃง โข€โข€โข€โข€โข€โข€โ ธโ ฟโฃฟโฃฟโ ฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโกฟโฃฟโฃปโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโก† โข€โข€โข€โข€โข€โข€โข€โขธโฃฟโฃฟโก€โ ˜โฃฟโกฟโขฟโฃฟโฃฟโกŸโฃพโฃฟโฃฏโฃฝโฃผโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโก€ โข€โข€โข€โข€โข€โข€โก โ šโข›โฃ›โฃƒโข„โกโข€โข€โข€โ ˆโ โ ›โ ›โ ›โ ›โ šโ ปโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃท โข€โข€โฃดโฃถโฃถโฃถโฃทโก„โ Šโ ‰โขปโฃŸโ ƒโข€โข€โข€โข€โก โ ”โ ’โข€โข€โข€โข€โขนโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃ„โฃ€โฃ€โฃ€โฃ€โฃ€โฃ€ โข โฃพโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃถโฃ„โฃ™โ ปโ ฟโ ถโ ’โ โข€โข€โฃ€โฃคโฃฐโฃถโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃทโฃ„ โขฟโ Ÿโ ›โ ‹โฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃŸโกฟโ ทโฃถโฃถโฃถโขถโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโก„ โข€โข€โข€โข€โฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃทโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโ ‰โ ™โ ปโ ฟโฃฟโฃฟโกฟ โข€โข€โข€โข€โฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโข€โข€โข€โข€โ ˆโ  โข€โข€โข€โข€โขธโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโขปโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟ โข€โข€โข€โข€โขธโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃ„โ ˆโ ›โ ฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโกฟโ Ÿโฃนโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโ ‡ โข€โข€โข€โข€โข€โขปโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃงโฃ€โข€โข€โ ‰โ ›โ ›โ ‹โ ‰โข€โฃ โฃพโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโ  โข€โข€โข€โข€โข€โข€โขปโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃทโฃคโฃ„โฃ€โฃ€โฃคโฃดโฃพโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโกฟโ ‹ โข€โข€โข€โข€โข€โข€โข€โ ™โ ฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโ › โข€โข€โข€โข€โข€โข€โข€โข€โข€โขนโฃฟโกฟโขฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโกŸโ  โข€โข€โข€โข€โข€โข€โข€โข€โข€โขธโฃฟโก‡โข€โ ˆโ ™โ ›โ ›โ ›โ ›โ ›โ ›โ ปโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโ ‡ โข€โข€โข€โข€โข€โข€โข€โข€โข€โฃธโฃฟโก‡โข€โข€โข€โข€โข€โข€โข€โข€โข€โข€โขจโฃฟโฃฟ โข€โข€โข€โข€โข€โข€โข€โข€โฃพโฃฟโกฟโ ƒโข€โข€โข€โข€โข€โข€โข€โข€โข€โข€โขธโฃฟโก โข€โข€โข€โข€โข€โข€โข€โข€โ ปโ ฟโข€โข€โข€โข€โข€โข€โข€โข€โข€โข€โข€โข โฃฟโฃฟโก‡
ascii art
December 2018

A review for the videogame "Among Us"

This game has ruined my fucking life. I'm going to end it and take you all with me because I can't bear to look at anything anymore. Any shape I see is distorted into amogus, any time I hear the word suspicious, sus, task, vent, report, ANYTHING, human pattern recognition turns it into amogus. I close my eyes and i see amogus, i see jerma985 grinning as the gates of my soul are opened by amogus and I can feel the festering sclunge of words and shapes pour in, filling all that I am with the ringing noise of amogus
April 2021

Among Us / Amogus

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