[Copypasta] Fired for masturbating on a Zoom call

So this just happened an hour ago and I am still shaking. I’m a staff in public accounting and was in the middle of a 3-hour training on Zoom. Usually when we have these types of calls I just keep the video running in the background and I walk around the room doing things to pass the time and distract myself from the monotone presenters. Well today I forgot that I left the camera on (I usually always have it off but earlier today I had a call with the partner to discuss my upcoming promotion, so I had to have it on). I had no clue I had left the camera on and in the middle of walking around and muttering to myself as I was zoning out, I flipped it out and started to rub one out. I did so with complete confidence, openly and ferociously, stroking faster and faster until I heard the presenter stop and kindly asked me to turn my camera off. Mortified, I lifted my pants up and rushed over to turn the camera off. Soon after the training was over I had a call with HR and they let me know that I was being terminated. I hated the job anyway so not so bummed about that, but I’m not sure what to say in interviews now if I’m asked why I left this job. Any advice?
June 2021
What happened to this ad? :(
More Copypastas

Disappointed with Giant Enemy Crabgot

twitchquotes: I was INSANELY disappointed once I loaded into summoner's rift on my favourite champion, Urgot, to find that Giant Enemy Crabgot did NOT have a female resting on his left shoulder ingame. This is a HUGE deal as it was one of the main factors of which I purchased the skin. I sincerely ask that you recoup my losses or change the skin to have a female resting on his manly shoulder
twitch chat
January 2017

League of Legends

Valorant censorship

At least you have the fucking balls to say it. Like in Valorant in the voice chat if you call someone a retard for being trash at the game and not using a mic, and he's a Russian player, you're "banned". Nevermind that the race of the player exists independently from how trash he is at the game. Obviously not all Russians have no mic, (correlation/causation), but this "all players are equal" political correctness bullshit is making it impossible for Valorant players to solve a problem they cannot discuss.
August 2021

Valorant

Redditor Soy Wojak

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⡠⠤⠤⠄⣀⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠐⠒⠒⠒⠤⠤⣀⣀⡀⠀⠀⢀⠔⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⢢⡀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠉⠉⡎⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢡⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢣⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡎⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠑⢄⣀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣠⠜⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣀⣀⣸⠤⠤⠤⢤⣀⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠉⠉⠉⠉⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⠤⠒⠊⠉⠉⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠙⠲⢄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡠⠞⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠑⢦⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⠎⠀⠀⠀⠀⠐⠒⠒⠒⠒⠀⠐⠂⠤⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠘⢆⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢰⠋⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⡀⠤⠄⠀⠤⢄⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⡆⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢠⠃⠀⠀⠀⠀⣒⣈⣁⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠉⠉⠉⣉⡉⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢣⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⠀⠀⠀⠐⠋⠀⠀⠀⠈⢡⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣠⠘⠉⠀⠈⠑⠦⠀⠀⠀⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣼⣤⠴⠖⠒⠶⠤⠤⠴⠶⠶⠥⣄⣀⣀⣀⣀⣃⡤⠤⠴⠖⠒⠒⠶⠤⠤⣴⣤⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⣀⣿⡏⠀⠀⠀⣠⣾⣿⣿⣶⣤⣀⡿⠉⠁⠈⣿⠀⣤⣤⣴⣶⣦⡀⠀⠀⠀⣿⣿⠤⢀⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣠⠔⠋⠀⠀⢹⡇⠀⠀⠈⠻⠿⠿⠿⠿⠿⠟⡇⠀⠀⠀⢻⠀⠿⠿⠿⠛⠋⠉⠀⠀⢠⡇⡇⠀⠀⠈⠣⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢠⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⢻⣄⣀⣤⣤⣤⣤⣤⣤⣴⠶⠃⠀⠀⠀⠈⠧⠤⠤⠤⣄⣀⣀⣀⣀⣸⠃⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⡜⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢣⡀⠀⠀⠀⢸⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢠⠖⠚⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠲⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡇⠀⠀⣀⠞⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠉⠒⠤⠤⢼⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠧⣠⡤⢄⠀⠀⠀⠀⢤⣤⠼⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡇⠀⠉⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⡆⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⡀⠀⣀⣤⣤⣄⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢱⠂⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⢹⠕⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⠴⠋⣀⣾⠋⢸⡇⠙⡿⠶⡶⢦⡄⠙⠒⠤⣄⠀⠀⠀⠀⢈⣇⠂⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡀⠬⣽⢂⡥⠀⠀⢠⠞⠁⠀⣾⡏⢸⣀⣸⣇⣀⡇⠀⣧⢸⢹⣦⡀⠀⡇⠀⠀⠀⢄⣻⣫⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠜⣿⣨⠃⠀⠈⡇⠀⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣿⣾⣿⣿⡇⢰⠃⢰⠀⡉⢡⡋⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⢸⣇⢌⠀⡆⠈⠀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⠘⢠⠏⠀⠳⡞⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢠⢿⣅⠊⢸⡀⠀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⠀⣸⠐⠲⢬⣿⡅⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣀⣀⡤⠖⠒⡟⠑⢯⠉⠉⣇⠀⢻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠁⢀⡇⢐⣗⣟⠨⣇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⣠⠤⠖⠋⠉⠉⠉⠁⠀⠀⠀⢇⠀⢜⣏⠉⢹⠀⠸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠀⢸⣀⢰⡿⠀⠀⣿⠉⠒⠦⣤⣀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢢⣢⠩⣮⢸⠀⠀⠹⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠏⠀⢸⢤⡿⠚⡠⢂⡟⠀⠀⠀⠀⠉⠳⢤⣀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠱⡱⣹⣾⠀⠀⠀⠛⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⠀⠀⢸⣞⠵⠪⡠⠟⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠉⠙⠲ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⢎⣿⡆⢀⠀⠀⠈⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠛⠁⠀⠀⠀⢸⠀⠀⠈⢀⣀⣀⣀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢻⣿⡁⢂⠀⡀⠤⢀⢰⠀⡄⡁⡀⢄⢀⠀⡶⣾⠚⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠉⠛⠒⠂⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠹⢶⡃⣄⠆⡀⢋⢸⢰⠰⢀⠸⢀⣓⣇⣹⠟⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⢸⢻⠪⣧⣘⣼⣼⣔⣣⣈⣴⡟⡻⠉⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
September 2021

Reddit

By the order of Donald of the house Trump

twitchquotes: SMOrc By the order of Donald of the house Trump SMOrc First of his name SMOrc True heir of these United States SMOrc Builder of Walls, Protector of the Border SMOrc I deport you from this chat
twitch chat
October 2016

Trolling My Office With Among Us (Part 4, Finale 1)

When I went to work the next day, I immediately ran to the elevator. I already saw Chad running towards me but it was already closed when he got to the elevator. It was travelling to my boss' office. When I got up I ran at him and kicked him out the window."You are s u s ." I said as I watched him fall out. His body splat on the pavement and was ran over by multiple cars below. I caused a traffic jam.I went back into the elevator and went to floor 5. I ran down the hall in the naruto run, you know the funny naruto run from anime? And I got on the intercom or whatever that shit is called."All crewmembers of the ship, please report to the bottom floor for an emergency meeting." I naruto ran down the stairs to the bottom floor. I stood on the table in the middle of the office and stomped."I HAVE CALLED AN EMERGENCY MEETING! THE BOSS IS DEAD! THE IMPOSTER KILLED HIM! WE NEED TO FIND OUT WHO THE IMPOSTER IS! Everyone was yelling at me to stop. But I wasn't gonna stop until I killed everyone here as the imposter.
March 2021

Trolling with Among Us

Among Us / Amogus

Text-to-Speech Playing