[Copypasta] Fired for masturbating on a Zoom call

So this just happened an hour ago and I am still shaking. I’m a staff in public accounting and was in the middle of a 3-hour training on Zoom. Usually when we have these types of calls I just keep the video running in the background and I walk around the room doing things to pass the time and distract myself from the monotone presenters. Well today I forgot that I left the camera on (I usually always have it off but earlier today I had a call with the partner to discuss my upcoming promotion, so I had to have it on). I had no clue I had left the camera on and in the middle of walking around and muttering to myself as I was zoning out, I flipped it out and started to rub one out. I did so with complete confidence, openly and ferociously, stroking faster and faster until I heard the presenter stop and kindly asked me to turn my camera off. Mortified, I lifted my pants up and rushed over to turn the camera off. Soon after the training was over I had a call with HR and they let me know that I was being terminated. I hated the job anyway so not so bummed about that, but I’m not sure what to say in interviews now if I’m asked why I left this job. Any advice?
June 2021
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More Copypastas

Sonic Inflation

Today I learned that in 2003 the fast food company β€œSonic” began printing out their own money to pay their workers. This led to a huge inflation in the economy and was one of the leading factors of the 2008-2009 recession. Would highly recommend looking up Sonic Inflation on google if you want to learn more.
April 2021

I'm still not as salty as you

twitchquotes: Reynad, I went to Isreal the other week. I went to the dead sea and floated on the incredibly salty water. I managed to get some in my mouth, and then came out ate a pretzel, and a hot dog with extra salt. And then ate an entire salt lick. I'm still not a salty as you. PJSalt
twitch chat
August 2015
Reynad

salty

DansGame

β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–„β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–„β–‘β–‘ β–„β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–€β–€β–„β–„β–„β–„β–„β–„β–ˆ β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–€β–„β–ˆβ–€β–€β–€β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–€β–„ β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–€β–„β–ˆβ–€β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–€ β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–€β–„β–ˆβ–€β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–„β–„β–€β–‘β–“ β–ˆβ–ˆβ–€β–„β–ˆβ–“β–„β–„β–„β–„β–„β–’β–’β–’β–‘β–‘β–’β–„β–„β–‘β–‘ β–ˆβ–ˆβ–“β–ˆβ–€β–“β–€β–„β–„β–„β–’β–’β–ˆβ–ˆβ–’β–‘β–€β–€β–‘β–‘β–‘ β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–’β–’β–’β–’β–“β–“β–“β–’β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–’β–’β–’β–ˆβ–„β–„β–’β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–’β–’β–ˆβ–€β–€β–€β–’β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–€β–ˆβ–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–’β–’β–ˆβ–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–ˆβ–’β–‘β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–€β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–’β–’β–’β–’β–€β–€β–’β–’β–’β–‘β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–€β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–ˆβ–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–€β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–“β–’β–‘
November 2014

a tesla drives down the street in 2021

the year is 2021 A tesla drives down the street unknowing of the danger behind it a beast of American metal and lightning The driver realizes he is in danger in his commie-fornia shoebox He presses the pussy pedal as hard as he can It cannot save him, he can hear the music already "THIS IS GAWWWWWD'S COUNTRRRRRYYYYYYY" He realizes he is already dead In an instant he becomes like a fly in the grill of a truck In the grill of the Ford F-150 EV It stops for no one
December 2020

WallStreetBets

You "Bajs" are pathetic

twitchquotes: You "Bajs" are fucking pathetic. I've been watching your "god gamer" for 3 hours now and not only has he failed to complete a single run, but he hasn't even cured my depression once.
twitch chat
November 2020
Forsen
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