So this just happened an hour ago and I am still shaking. I’m a staff in public accounting and was in the middle of a 3-hour training on Zoom. Usually when we have these types of calls I just keep the video running in the background and I walk around the room doing things to pass the time and distract myself from the monotone presenters. Well today I forgot that I left the camera on (I usually always have it off but earlier today I had a call with the partner to discuss my upcoming promotion, so I had to have it on). I had no clue I had left the camera on and in the middle of walking around and muttering to myself as I was zoning out, I flipped it out and started to rub one out. I did so with complete confidence, openly and ferociously, stroking faster and faster until I heard the presenter stop and kindly asked me to turn my camera off. Mortified, I lifted my pants up and rushed over to turn the camera off. Soon after the training was over I had a call with HR and they let me know that I was being terminated. I hated the job anyway so not so bummed about that, but I’m not sure what to say in interviews now if I’m asked why I left this job. Any advice?
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Or I will be forced to call the 0-3 Police
twitchquotes:
Hello Kripparrian, this is Reginald. It has come to my attention that you went 0-3 in Hearthstone arena. This is completely unacceptable and detrimental to the image of Team Solo Mid. Remove any and all affiliation with TSM and "BayLife" or I will be forced to call the 0-3 Police.
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Kripp
Hearthstone
Profesionali playertti of Defenders of the Agnolotti
twitchquotes:
hello, il mio nome is GIROLAMO SAVORANOLA I my italiano. I want be profesionali playeretti of Defenders of the Agnolotti. the I sold all my spaghetti so i can bought a branderini new coputterini and farma all gaems. Per favore no coperinato pasterinato caramel macchiato
twitch chat
Riot Games
My Kappa is broken
twitchquotes:
My Κappa is broken 
My Κappa is broken My Κappa is broken My Κappa is broken
My Κappa is broken My Κappa is broken My Κappa is broken
twitch chat
I CTRL V THINGS INTO CHAT BECAUSE I AM A MINDLESS RETARD
I just shit and cum FAQ (Reddit)
I just shit and cum.
# FAQ
## What does this mean?
The amount of shit (and cum) on my computer and floor has increased by one.
## Why did you do this?
There are several reasons I may deem a comment to be worthy of feces or ejaculation. These include, but are not limited to:
* Being gay
* Dank copypasta bro, where'd you find it
* walter
## Am I going to shit and cum too?
No - not yet. But you should refrain from shitposting and cumposting like this in the future. Otherwise I will be forced to shit and cum again, which may put your shitting and cumming privileges in jeopardy.
## I don't believe my comment deserved being shit and cum at. Can you un-cum it?
Sure, mistakes happen. But only in exceedingly rare circumstances will I put shit back into my butt. If you would like to issue an appeal, shoot me a hot load explaining what I got wrong. I tend to respond to retaliatory ejaculation within several minutes. Do note, however, that over 99.9% of semen dies before it can fertilize the egg, and yours is likely no exception.
## How can I prevent this from happening in the future?
Accept the goopy brown and white substance and move on. But learn from this mistake: your behavior will not be tolerated in my mom's basement. I will continue to shit and cum until you improve your conduct. Remember: ejaculation is privilege, not a right.